Monthly Archives: February 2011

Act Of Consecration To The Sacred Heart of Jesus

Written by Saint Margaret Mary Alacoque.

To the Sacred Heart of Jesus
I give myself
and consecrate to the Sacred Heart of our Lord Jesus Christ,
my person and my life,
my actions,
pains and sufferings,
so that I may be unwilling to make use
of any part of my being other than to honor,
love and glorify the Sacred Heart.
This is my unchanging purpose, namely,
to be all His,
and to do all things for the love of Him,
at the same time renouncing with all my heart
whatever is displeasing to Him.
I therefore take You,
O Sacred Heart,
to be the only object of my love,
the guardian of my life,
my assurance of salvation,
the remedy of my weakness and inconstancy,
the atonement for all the faults of my life
and my sure refuge at the hour of death.

Be then, O Heart of goodness,
my justification before God the Father,
and turn away from me the strokes of his righteous anger.
O Heart of love,
I put all my confidence in You,
for I fear everything from my own wickedness and frailty,
but I hope for all things from Your goodness and bounty.

Remove from me all that can displease You
or resist Your holy will;
let your pure love imprint Your image
so deeply upon my heart,
that I shall never be able to forget You
or to be separated from You.

May I obtain from all Your loving kindness
the grace of having my name written in Your Heart,
for in You I desire to place all my happiness and glory,
living and dying in bondage to You.


Leave a comment

Filed under Prayers

Impossible Dreams, Where Do They Take You

I can’t help but ponder on, that a rather large amount of my friends lately, have been having very vivid and faith filled dreams, and in some cases, nightmares.. Some peaceful, some terrorizing them to the point of praying immediately upon waking from them.. I’m not sure if this is because I never hung around with this many faithful followers before, and this is all “Normal” or if something bigger is going on.

No, this is not an “End of the World” post as my words can not predict what our Lord has already said, that “No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.”

I to have had such dreams. One being in the late 80’s, before my conversion back to the Catholic Church. A very apocalyptic dream, that was so vivid, I wont soon forget it. So much so, I wrote it down way back then and still have it today. It surviving many moves including one across country. Something inside me, just told me to hang on to it. I had spoken about it back then, and two hours to explain it, was the norm. One day soon, I will post it here to be read. I can only assume, it was a precursor to “My Apocalypse” or the death of the life I was leading at the time before my conversion.

On other occasions more recent, as recent as this year, I have woken up from some to horrible to speak about. Dreams that I woke from shaking, causing me not to roll over and wake my husband, but rather to RUN, in the middle of the night, to our 24 hour adoration chapel, and hug the tabernacle our Lord was in. Even if I was only there for a few moments, to pray. The shaking stopped and my fears diminished and I was able to return back home and to sleep again. Other times less terrorizing, where praying upon waking and just telling our Lord: “Sacred Heart of Jesus, I trust in you”, caused my trembling and fear to melt away. I now teach my children to say this when they too wake up from a bad dream.

Two years ago, I had a dream that left me in a state of absolute peace, so much so, the feeling stayed with me for three days. It is a peace that is not describable. I was so sad when it left me, I didn’t want it to go away ever, but today hang on to those three days as a point to look to not only when I am down, but also when all is well. I can only say this peace must be that which is found in the arms of our Lord in heaven.

The Dream:

I was a baby bird, but knew I was human, in human form. I was naked but had just began to show plumage. I was in a nest made of twigs, but was SO comfortable, content and warm.. I was just waking, looking around and the nest was surrounded by BRIGHT warm light in hues of orange, yellow and white and I could see nothing but this light as far as I could see. As I tried to peak out of the nest, I was quickly covered by the wings of an angel. At first I was afraid to look at the angel, but I did, and seen His face was that of our Lord.

It was the most RESTFUL night of my life. It inspired me to write: “May God whisper in your ear, as Jesus plans your tomorrows, while you sleep under the wing of the Holy Spirit”.


🙂 Have to add, I just read today’s Gospel and He says it all:

Matthew 6:24-34

Jesus said to his disciples: ‘No one can be the slave of two masters: he will either hate the first and love the second, or treat the first with respect and the second with scorn. You cannot be the slave both of God and of money.
‘That is why I am telling you not to worry about your life and what you are to eat, nor about your body and how you are to clothe it. Surely life means more than food, and the body more than clothing! Look at the birds in the sky. They do not sow or reap or gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are we not worth much more than they are? Can any of you, for all his worrying, add one single cubit to his span of life? And why worry about clothing? Think of the flowers growing in the fields; they never have to work or spin; yet I assure you that not even Solomon in all his regalia was robed like one of these. Now if that is how God clothes the grass in the field which is there today and thrown into the furnace tomorrow, will he not much more look after you, you men of little faith? So do not worry; do not say, “What are we to eat? What are we to drink? How are we to be clothed?” It is the pagans who set their hearts on all these things. Your heavenly Father knows you need them all. Set your hearts on his kingdom first, and on his righteousness, and all these other things will be given you as well. So do not worry about tomorrow: tomorrow will take care of itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.’

I don’t know what others dreams are or even most of mine, I can only wonder and ponder on the effects of having them. And at times question them and ask our Lord: What Lord do you need me to do with this?

Where do your dreams take you? How do they inspire you?

1 Comment

Filed under Reflections

Having A Vision For God

How can I, if I am a true follower of Christ, continue to focus on the hate others have for me rather then the love, mercy and forgiveness our Lord has for all of us? Just as He has forgiven me, and continues to do so daily, He also extends to all who seek Him.When we spend our time focusing on the hate others have, be it for us, or for others and mirror it to Jesus Christs mission, you can see a contradiction of what He asks of us. Imagine the entire mission of our Lord being spent in self pity rather then of self sacrifice. His entire message becomes lost and therefor so do we. We do not know if our enemies are in search of Him or not, with their hearts. We do know, Christ is in search of them.

“If we turn away from evil out of fear of punishment, we are in the position of slaves. If we pursue the enticement of wages, we resemble mercenaries. Finally if we obey for the sake of the good itself and out of love for him who commands we are in the position of children”

This focus on others we have is born of fear for self, rather then loss of God, or “Fear of the Lord”. When we face the fears we have of others such as: I am not comfortable to extend a hand to those who I do not understand, who do not share my belief, who are of a different background, or fill in the blank. Along with those who truly are trying to kill us. In the particular case of the ones without a doubt, who ARE trying to kill us, we must STILL extend the spiritual hand by truly living the faith. We do not understand and can not comprehend what God’s plan for our enemies is, we do know His love for them is equal to the love he has for us and when we have a “Vision” of what WE want for God, in regards to our enemies, the door to self sacrifice can and will be opened. We have to ask OURSELVES, “Do I want my enemies to share in the eternal life with Christ? Or is my “Vision” for God in regards to my enemies eternal damnation?

If we do this, we must understand, our actions will spark the flame of the Holy Spirit in each and every human being, it is then up to us, to act on that flame, rather then extinguish it. Just as Saint Paul (Saul) before his conversion, believed he was doing the work of God, by rounding up ALL the Christians, to be executed, so are the enemies we face, not always in the physical sense, but in the spiritual sense. BUT we add to this misunderstanding by doing exactly as they do by NOT loving them and not trusting in our Lord enough to know, He is all seeing, all knowing and all merciful.. Feeding “Pride” rather then nurturing humility. Be it in our own homes, which I call the unknown enemy, or the known enemies seeking to destroy the entire fabric of our Christian faith. To read what our Lord expects of us, we can look to His “Sermon on the Mount” Matthew 5

We all want to live in peace. The problem is, our ideas of peace, are all different. We know when Christ returns, He will bring TRUE peace with Him, to all of us, together with our enemies, if we are ready or not. The key is to be ready.

“Hope, O my soul, hope. You know neither the day nor the hour. Watch carefully, for everything passes quickly, even though your impatience makes doubtful what is certain, and turns a very short time into a long one. Dream that the more you struggle, the more you prove the love that you bear your God, and the more you will rejoice one day with your Beloved, in a happiness and rapture that can never end.”

Leave a comment

Filed under Reflections

You Are Mine

The first time I heard this song was the day I attended Sunday Mass, for the first time, WILLFULLY, alone, in over 18 years. I say willfully because I was raised in a Catholic home and even though we didn’t pray together, going to mass was mandatory. If you were living in my parents house, you got up every Sunday and went to mass. For a long time, when I was younger my older siblings, even if they didn’t live at home, they would show up at home with all their children, and we would go to mass together. For some reason, my siblings could no longer make it for mass but would come later for dinner. Later on in my teens, when I received my drivers license, it was up to me to make sure I attended mass and at that time, I became to “Cool” to go. I would stop in at church before mass, pick up the Church bulletin and then head off to hang out with my friends, or so shopping until I knew mass was over.

I had attended sporadically, here & there for weddings & funerals and a few baptisms, but never put forth the effort to attend Sunday Mass. I thought about going! But the thought faded as quickly as it came. On many occasions, the thought of going overpowered me and I was ashamed and remorseful for not attending. And that evil voice was always there to keep me away, telling me “Ah God will forgive ya! You don’t have to go. Look at your past. You went enough. Besides, you have Great Aunts & Uncles who died. They will put the good word in for ya”. Yeah. Right! Little did I know we are all Children of God, not Grandchildren or Great Niece & Nephews.

At the age of 33, or so, the Holy Spirit began to unravel the plastic bubble wrap world I had made for myself. I had always been miserable. I always wanted to “fit in” but I just didn’t fit anyplace for as long as I could remember. But that is a reflection for another day. God knows where I fit and he is telling me this now at the age of 44.

I cried during the mass so hard the first time I heard this song. I knew the Holy Spirit began to melt the ice from my heart and my tears were the proof of it. Every mass after that day I had attended, for the first few years, I couldn’t make it through without crying. I knew our Lord was speaking to me. As He still does to each and every one of us. This song didn’t even have to be played after that first Mass back. It hit me that hard. Now when I hear it, I am still moved to tears as it holds a very special place in my heart. Today, I get upset when I have to miss daily mass and couldn’t fathom missing mass on Sunday. I am His.

“But now, this is what the LORD says–he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.” Isaiah 43:1

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Death Of The Worm

Pondering Mark 9:48 “where ‘their worm does not die, and the fire is not quenched.’

Focus on the key word “Their”

A few years ago, I bought a fly trap and placed near the garbage cans outside, as the neighborhood had a serious fly problem that year. It was a clear plastic bag, in which a poisons liquid was in the lower portion of the bag, and a plastic neck separating the entrance, from the liquid. When the flies would enter into it, they were then trapped and could not escape, and died. Ick. After a few days, the bag was full and the stench was unbearable. I needed to discard it. What I found was it became so full with dead flies, others used the body’s to lay their eggs and most of the bag was full of maggots, eating the ones who had perished. It became so full of death, the poison couldn’t even do its job and the maggots were living very comfortable lives, evolving and flying out into the neighborhood, pestering and annoying. The sight was so horrific, I refuse to purchase another one as long as I live.

Due to original sin and being creatures possessing “Free Will”, before the soul is converted to our Lord, we are all nothing but worms. “For the imagination of man’s heart is evil from his youth” (Gen. 8:21) Feeding off of the poison in this world, lust, greed, anger, selfishness etc..with no regard for or taking for granted, the Creator, He who placed us here, or regard to our fellow man, with only one difference. We have been given a choice. A choice to continue being the worm, or to have that worm morph into what our Creator intended us to be through the grace He gives to us, to build our faith and rely on Him completely through the gifts of the Holy Spirit. Eating and drinking the “Food” HE gives to us and avoiding the toxic worldly “Things” bent on our destruction.

“Enter by the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the way is easy, that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard, that leads to life, and those who find it are few.”

I will quote one of my favorite saints, taken from the Interior Castle: by St Teresa of Avila “Then, finally, the worm, which was large and ugly, comes right out of the cocoon a beautiful white butterfly.”

Once a soul is in hell, there is no more time to change. The soul is left in the state it has died in. Thus, the “worm” belongs to them. The worm that became large and ugly, feeding of the toxins that poison the soul, then becomes food for the other worms, at the bottom of the bag, from which there is no escape. Eating off of each others hate and torment, where sincerity is no more and peace is never found.

From the Catechism of the Catholic Church

1057 Hell’s principal punishment consists of eternal separation from God in whom alone man can have the life and happiness for which he was created and for which he longs.

1058 The Church prays that no one should be lost: “Lord, let me never be parted from you.” If it is true that no one can save himself, it is also true that God “desires all men to be saved” (1 Tim 2:4), and that for him “all things are possible” (Mt 19:26).

When the soul chooses to live a life with Christ as the center, the worm then enters into the “cocoon” or “Conversion” where the Holy Spirit is ALLOWED to burn away the things the worm once was, and then becomes the “beautiful butterfly”. As we are in the “Cocoon” we are allowed to see where we once were, and when you see the state of the “worm” (Recollection and Repentance) you want nothing more then to move closer and closer to our Lord. “Fear of the Lord” is the first gift of the Holy Spirit. You want nothing more then to serve Him and you know you can not live without Him. Your entire world becomes Him. You LOVE because He is love. You are merciful, because He is mercy. You forgive with love and mercy because He is forgiveness.You leave yourself behind, the worm you once were, because He has no use for it. “A new wineskin” has been given to you and you protect it, because you know it is the greatest gift of love that can be given. New life and eternal peace.

Leave a comment

Filed under Reflections

Persecuting The Bride Of Christ

First off, I say to my protestant friends, I love you and I am not in any way picking a fight. My Lord Jesus Christ reminded me this morning at mass:

“Teacher,” said John, “we saw a man driving out demons in your name and we told him to stop, because he was not one of us.” “Do not stop him,” Jesus said. “No one who does a miracle in my name can in the next moment say anything bad about me, for whoever is not against us is for us.”

After a heated debate last night on the difference between the Catholic Church VS the 45 thousand denominations of protestant churches, I fell asleep praying and pondering the subject and woke up this morning, continuing to ponder the persecution of “The Bride Of Christ” by the bride of Christ..

I have heard many who follow the protestant faiths, state we are all the bride of Christ, we all believe the same thing and my Catholic Faith teaches me, and what we believe:

We believe in one God,
the Father, the Almighty,
maker of heaven and earth,
of all that is, seen and unseen.

We believe in one Lord, Jesus Christ,
the only Son of God,
eternally begotten of the Father,
God from God, Light from Light, true God from true God,
begotten, not made, of one Being with the Father.
Through him all things were made.
For us and for our salvation he came down from heaven:
by the power of the Holy Spirit he became incarnate from the Virgin Mary,
and was made man.
For our sake he was crucified under Pontius Pilate;
he suffered death and was buried.
On the third day he rose again in accordance with the Scriptures;
he ascended into heaven and is seated at the right hand of the Father.
He will come again in glory to judge the living and the dead,
and his kingdom will have no end.

We believe in the Holy Spirit,
the Lord, the giver of life,
who proceeds from the Father and the Son*.
With the Father and the Son he is worshiped and glorified.
He has spoken through the Prophets.

We believe in one holy catholic and apostolic Church.
We acknowledge one baptism for the forgiveness of sins.
We look for the resurrection of the dead,
and the life of the world to come.

I can honestly say, since my conversion back to the Catholic Church, I personalty, have been more persecuted by those who proclaim to be the “bride of Christ”, then from those who do not know our Lord. I to, in my “Ignorance” and pride, “Thinking” I had all the answers, and knew EVERYTHING, persecuted the true “Bride Of Christ” until the Holy Spirit plowed my heart, removing my pride, replacing it with humility, allowing me to see, I knew nothing about her. I could not see her beauty, because of my own jealousy of her, thinking I was more beautiful.

If as the protestants say, we are all the bride of Christ, then why so much animosity towards the Catholic Church?

If we believe by the words of my protestant friends, all the same things, how then can you find room in your hearts, to persecute her, because then if what your saying is true, your only persecuting, yourself. And if you say the Lord is with you and in you, then who are you persecuting but the Lord, Jesus Christ, himself.
From the Catechism of the Catholic Church: (Please go to the link and read the entire passage)
The Church- foreshadowed from the world’s beginning
760 Christians of the first centuries said, “The world was created for the sake of the Church.”153 God created the world for the sake of communion with his divine life, a communion brought about by the “convocation” of men in Christ, and this “convocation” is the Church. The Church is the goal of all things,154 and God permitted such painful upheavals as the angels’ fall and man’s sin only as occasions and means for displaying all the power of his arm and the whole measure of the love he wanted to give the world:

Just as God’s will is creation and is called “the world,” so his intention is the salvation of men, and it is called “the Church.”155

I also ask you to read

Let me then point out: : “and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one.”

This morning at mass, and every mass, I see this when the priest breaks the body of Christ. The whole Christ, body and blood, soul and divinity, is truly, really, and substantially contained in the sacrament of the Eucharist. Transubstantiation!

This morning in particular, I was blessed to have seen it, sitting directly in front of the altar. I sat in the back row and Sister Gloria, walked in on the arm of an older woman. There was an empty seat next to me, so I got up and moved to the empty seat in the front, so the two could sit together. The priest broke apart the Body of Christ, the rite of fraction and commingling mind you, I was moved to tears at the thought of my own sins that caused His pain and suffering. A suffering He FREELY accepted. The Body of Christ with His grace, love and mercy, was then given to those where the two became one.

“He fell to the ground and heard a voice say to him, “Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?”
Acts 9:4

And of course:

John 15:18-21
Jesus said to his disciples:
‘If the world hates you,
remember that it hated me before you.
If you belonged to the world,
the world would love you as its own;
but because you do not belong to the world,
because my choice withdrew you from the world,
therefore the world hates you.
Remember the words I said to you: A servant is not greater than his master.
If they persecuted me, they will persecute you too;
if they kept my word, they will keep yours as well.
But it will be on my account that they will do all this,
because they do not know the one who sent me.’

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

A Prayer For The World In Turmoil

Almighty, everlasting God,
Who in Thy beloved Son,
King of the whole world,
hast willed to restore all things anew;
grant in Thy Mercy that all the families of nations,
rent asunder by the wound of sin,
may be subjected to His most gentle rule.
Who with Thee lives and reigns world without end.


Leave a comment

Filed under Prayers

Saint Joseph’s Cathedral: “My Noah’s Ark”

Every year on Christmas Eve, “Santa” without fail, would bring me a model Noah’s Ark. Before I could play with it, after all the wrapping paper was picked up, and sometimes before, I would bug my father to put it together. He would glue the two portions of the ark together, sometimes that night, so I could immediately play with my new toy, when the glue dried. I would sit for hours, laying on my stomach, setting up the animals two by two, pretending I was just as small as the plastic pieces and I was going to enter the ark with them. After all, God was about to destroy the “bad people”. I wondered for hours what it was really like. What it must have looked like and wished I was in Noah’s family during the great flood.

As much as I loved that toy ark and as much joy it brought me, my lack of caring for it was the reason it needed to be replaced yearly. Between the family dog chewing up the animals, slowly, one by one due to my leaving them out or my moms vacuum cleaner sucking them up, and my own destructiveness, they ended up with the same fate of my brothers army men, usually in the vintage hand crank 1940’s ice crusher in the basement. The ark itself, that my father glued together, would always end up in the bottom of the toy box, crushed by the weight of the junk piled on top of it.

The story of Noah was always my favorite as a child. By the age of 10 or so, I became “To Big” to want THAT toy anymore. Quickly forgetting the hours of wondering and joy it brought me. Not much longer after that, unfortunately, my faith, took the exact same path. I won’t go into details regarding my conversion back to the Catholic Church at this time but it has been a solid five years or more, that I am home again. I will say, the day my conversion back home began was on September 23, 1996, just after six at night, when the Lord took the man who glued all those arks together, home. The road back home, in many many ways, was like waiting “for the glue to dry”.

A few weeks before this past Christmas, I was in need of confession. My husband had been working weekends and making it to confession on Saturdays was next to imposable because I would have to bring my two small children with me. Mind you, they are 4 and 5 and them sitting quietly, without mom for any given second, IN church, while mom is in the confessional is WAY to much to ask of them. Something had been weighing very heavy on my soul and I didn’t want to wait for an appointment time with my priest. I looked for any Catholic Church where confession was offered at a different time and found Saint Joseph’s Cathedral. I was so happy for two reasons. One, I found a church and two, I had never been in a cathedral before.

I arrived at the Cathedral 20 minutes before the doors were open. I sat on the front steps and prayed until it was time to go in. When I walked in, my eyes were adjusting to to the light change and I was blinded for a few moments until my eyes adjusted and was overwhelmed with the beauty I was seeing. The extremely large stained glass windows let in the only light at that time, along with the light that came in through the open doors. There were workmen everywhere doing reconstruction work, but it didn’t take away the beauty from this place I was in. I preceded to walk to the confessional and stand in line during this visit. My mind was more on my confession and not where I was confessing. After the sacrament, daily mass was offered and I stayed. When it was over, I knew I didn’t have much time to spend in this beautiful place, and my return back was a must.

My return trip was for daily mass and of course, confession again, a week before Christmas. For the first time in my life, during this trip to the confessional, I was able to hear the words “I absolve you of these sins, and all your sins”, with my heart. I walked out of the confessional, sat in the pew and felt the weight of the world come off my shoulders. I became so relaxed, I stretched my arms across the back of the pew, and tossed my head back, looking up to the ceiling to thank Christ for the joy and peace, and at that exact moment, He took my breath away again. I stared in amazement at the beamed ceiling. The massive roof trusses all exposed, just like Noah’s Ark. I went limp and I remembered the gift I received every Christmas.

I then noticed the small hatch like windows along with the porthole lights just below the roof line, reminiscent of a ship’s. Knowing full well, God’s plan to Noah, did not have these, but wondered if it was God’s plan for me to catch this detail, to remind me of the hours I spent as a child and the “Great Flood” of remembering filled me. I pondered my 40 plus years alive and Noah’s 40 day’s and nights, on his ark, and the rainbow, God’s covenant with man, that he would never destroy the earth in that manner again. But rather with fire. A similar fire I have felt, with the Holy Spirit, purifying my soul, destroying what God did not place in my heart when He created me, on my path back home to the Catholic Church, and in time, into His arms.

Another detail; the marks in the walls. After mass, I looked closer at them. I was overtaken by the thought of the scourging of Jesus. Then I thought again, maybe their just best left in the walls, placed there from all the sins we have committed. Like scars, left in the physical temple as we enter into holy mass to purify the spiritual temple. Either way, with the help of the Holy Spirit, I will not allow myself to become “To Big” to lose that peace, joy and wonderment again. Every time I return there, I am that small child again at Christmas, but now small enough to enter into the “Ark.”

Leave a comment

Filed under Reflections

Sunday Morning Reflection…

Psalms 103:1-2, 3-4, 8, 10, 12-13
1 [Of David] Bless Yahweh, my soul, from the depths of my being, his holy name;
2 bless Yahweh, my soul, never forget all his acts of kindness.
3 He forgives all your offences, cures all your diseases,
4 he redeems your life from the abyss, crowns you with faithful love and tenderness;
8 Yahweh is tenderness and pity, slow to anger and rich in faithful love;
10 he does not treat us as our sins deserve, nor repay us as befits our offences.
12 As the distance of east from west, so far from us does he put our faults.
13 As tenderly as a father treats his children, so Yahweh treats those who fear him;

Today’s Psalms bring me back to yesterdays post,
Washing The Kitchen Floor With The Holy Spirit
How we so often “Think” we know the vast love and mercy of our Lord, and when we ponder deeper, we quickly understand our “Thoughts” can never fully comprehend the gravity of His love, grace and mercy.

Leave a comment

Filed under Reflections

Washing The Kitchen Floor With The Holy Spirit

My typical Saturday…with only one difference. I got my lazy but off the computer for a break to wash my kitchen floor and had a friendly chat with the Holy Spirit while doing so. It went something like this:

Holy Spirit: Hey Peg?

Me: Yes?

Holy Spirit: Remember back when you were so distraught and didn’t have anyone left to turn to regarding the state of your soul and the mortal sins you were covered in? Remember when your eyes were so swollen from crying, thinking that God would never forgive you and that He must be punishing you, and you thought God hated you?

Me: Yes. I’ll never forget that day. Or the days that followed.

Holy Spirit: Remember when you dropped everything you were doing, got in your car, drove to find any Catholic Church, and parked your car, walked in and sat in the pew, and broke down in tears again, begging God to forgive you?

Me: Yes. I don’t know how I got there or how I brought myself to do that.

Holy Spirit: Remember there was only one other person in that church, that just happened to be open? A church building where the doors were not locked? Remember then after sitting in tears, the Catholic Priest who just happened to be there, who just happened to tap you on the shoulder and ask you if he could help you?

Me: Yes. I was lucky that day!!

Holy Spirit: Luck? HAHA! Remember it being as if the Priest was pulling your teeth, for him to get you to confess your sins? Remember Him asking you if you would like to confess them and you did everything you could not to and told him that God would never forgive you but you confessed your sins anyway?

Me: Yes. For many years after, I struggled with thinking He was very angry with me. I walked out that day thinking, pfft, yeah. My life then was hell. I hated being there but didn’t know how to get out. I wasn’t sure if I could. In the state of hell that is. I didn’t want to leave the church.

Holy Spirit: Do you understand now, it was I who was with you, before you acted on my Love for you and you decided to go? Do you know now that it was I who carried you out of that hell you were living in and continue to keep you from there? Do you know now, that is God’s Grace? Do you know now, it was I who planted the seeds of repentance? I who made it possible for you to find the open church? I who made sure the Priest was there for you? I who was with you when you left and stayed with you? I who am STILL with you? I who Love you? I who made everything so EASILY possible for you to return to me? All you did was listen and followed your heart, where I can always be found. Do you know now how much God loves you? How much God loves ALL his children?

Me: I do now. Thank you Lord!

More like the Holy Spirit washing the floor with me…..

*Self Knowledge

Leave a comment

Filed under Reflections

Tasting Death

‘I tell you solemnly, there are some standing here who will not taste death before they see the kingdom of God come with power.’ Mark 9:1

Pondering…physical death? Or the death of the “worldly person” not reborn into the faith that should have been growing in each person, upon hearing Jesus speak and seeing His work first hand.. The second Jesus began his mission, the Kingdom of Heaven began to grow. The carpenter was now the Messiah, soon to be the King of the Jews, and for ever, the King of Glory. The Kingdom of Heaven on earth arrived the day of His birth. Just as the “Mustard Seed”, small at first, just a seed, which was planted, died and sprouted to bring forth “New Life”. Upon hearing Jesus and seeing the miracles, faith in Him should have began to grow.

I often think of St. Thomas the Apostle who even after the resurrected Christ appeared to the other apostles, refused to believe until he verified the resurrected Christ himself, by sticking his hand in the wounds of our Lord.

I also ponder this scripture in regards to the Scribes and the Pharisees. Most of them didn’t care what miracles Christ performed or how many were cured. They were to blinded by there own “Worldly” hate and jealousy to see anything but a threat. Jesus certainly was not the military leader THEY believe the Messiah should be. Someone else I would toss into this category is Judas Iscariot. What did Judas see before his own death? What almighty power was unleashed on him? Was he confronted face to face with the truth of Christ being the Son of God and could not cope knowing what he had done?

In pondering this scripture, I must keep in mind, the full Glory of God to come again!

How many times have we in our own lives, seen Jesus work with us, speak to us in our hearts and felt that absolute peace KNOWING He has helped us, did we go right back to worrying about how we were going to handle the next situation we ran across? If your like me, I bet that answer is most of the time.Forgetting like gnats what grace is given to us daily.

Leave a comment

Filed under Reflections