Monthly Archives: March 2011

The Stench Of Sin

I had the pleasure this morning, of going out to breakfast with my husband. I wasn’t feeling well right off the bat and the restaurant we went to, was missing employees and the tables were quite full. We ordered our food, and as the waitress walked away with our order to the kitchen, the hostess was sitting the table behind us. A few moments after the table behind us was seated, I began to be overpowered with the smell of VERY strong perfume. So much so, it was making me ill.

Our food came and we began to eat. From the first bite I placed in my mouth of my breakfast, all I could taste was the overpowering perfume. I would take a drink of ice tea and it would taste like the perfume. It became so overpowering, my mood began to change. I was not in a good mood the longer I sat at this table, unable to eat, drink or let alone think of anything other then that overpowering obnoxious perfume. All I wanted to do was leave and quickly. I had to get away from the stench. I looked at my husband and apologized, I told him I’m sorry, but have them pack up my breakfast, I’ll eat it at home, I have to get out of here and into fresh air.

I left the restaurant and everything behind. When I took in the first gulp of fresh air, the obnoxious perfume was still in my sinuses for a few moments, then it was gone. I did not think about the woman wearing it, but rather how that must be what the Holy Spirit has to deal with, in regards to our sins. “Sin grieves the Holy Spirit and causes a breach in our relationship with God”

I pondered how many times He tried to come to me when I called out, but He couldn’t because the stench of my sins were keeping Him at a distance. Its much easier to hear Him, when He is at your side, rather then trying to hear Him yelling at your from behind a pain of glass, that separates the sinful from the forgiven. Granted, no one is sinless but our Lord Jesus Christ, but it makes His job much easier to speak to us, when we are cleansed through the sacrament of confession… Go take a shower 🙂

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The Wedding Of A Soul

Spiritual Marriage

He chooses and makes Himself known to her.
The bride to be has time to accept..
If she says yes…A ring is given..
She receives it, and places it in the hand of her Mother In Law, so it can never be given back. The Bride Groom continues to court His bride from afar, insuring her love for Him.

The love between the two is undeniable..
The day of the wedding, many gather to prepare the Mother In Law…
She is paraded and sung to and the Bride Groom is in attendance after…

The bride goes unnoticed by the attendants.. But is in the hand of her Bride Groom.
The bride knows the love He has for her and after the guests in attendance “Salut” the Bride Groom and sing to Him, the Lovers go their separate ways, but together eternally joined.. Consummating the Marriage through “Word”, never to be separated…

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The Pearl: Seven Hymns On The Faith

Something to ponder….

By St. Ephraem, d. A.D. 373

Hymn I

1. On a certain day a pearl did I take up, my brethren; I saw in it mysteries pertaining to the Kingdom; semblances and types of the Majesty; it became a fountain, and I drank out of it mysteries of the Son.

I put it, my brethren, upon the palm of my hand, that I might examine it: I went to look at it on one side, and it proved faces on all sides. I found out that the Son was incomprehensible, since He is wholly Light.

In its brightness I beheld the Bright One Who cannot be clouded, and in its pureness a great mystery, even the Body of our Lord which is well-refined: in its undividedness I saw the Truth which is undivided.

It was so that I saw there its pure conception,-the Church, and the Son within her. The cloud was the likeness of her that bare Him, and her type the heaven, since there shone forth from her His gracious Shining.

I saw therein His trophies, and His victories, and His crowns. I saw His helpful and overflowing graces, and His hidden things with His revealed things.

2. It was greater to me than the ark, for I was astonied thereat: I saw therein folds without shadow to them because it was a daughter of light, types vocal without tongues, utterances of mysteries without lips, a silent harp that without voice gave out melodies.

The trumpet falters and the thunder mutters; be not thou daring then; leave things hidden, take things revealed. Thou hast seen in the clear sky a second shower; the clefts of thine ears, as from the clouds, they are filled with interpretations.

And as that manna which alone filled the people, in the place of pleasant meats, with its pleasantnesses, so does this pearl fill me in the place of books, and the reading thereof, and the explanations thereof.

And when I asked if there were yet other mysteries, it had no mouth for me that I might hear from, neither any ears wherewith it might hear me. O thou thing without senses, whence I have gained new senses!

3. It answered me and said, “The daughter of the sea am I, the illimitable sea! And from that sea whence I came up it is that there is a mighty treasury of mysteries in my bosom! Search thou out the sea, but search not out the Lord of the sea!

“I have seen the divers who came down after me, when astonied, so that from the midst of the sea they returned to the dry ground; for a few moments they sustained it not. Who would linger and be searching on into the depths of the Godhead?

“The waves of the Son are full of blessings, and with mischiefs too. Have ye not seen, then, the waves of the sea, which if a ship should struggle with them would break her to pieces, and if she yield herself to them, and rebel not against them, then she is preserved? In the sea all the Egyptians were choked, though they scrutinised it not, and, without prying, the Hebrews too were overcome upon the dry land, and how shall ye be kept alive? And the men of Sodom were licked up by the fire, and how shall ye prevail?

“At these uproars the fish in the sea were moved, and Leviathan also. Have ye then a heart of stone that ye read these things and run into these errors? O great fear that justice also should be so long silent!”

4. “Searching is mingled with thanksgiving, and whether of the two will prevail? The incense of praise riseth along with the fume of disputation from the tongue, and unto which shall we hearken? Prayer and prying come from one mouth, and which shall we listen to?

“For three days was Jonah a neighbour of mine in the sea: the living things that were in the sea were aftrighted, saying, “Who shall flee from God? Jonah fled, and ye are obstinate at your scrutiny of Him!”

Hymn II

1. Whereunto art thou like? Let thy stillness speak to one that hears; with silent mouth speak with us: for whoso hears the stammerings of thy silence, to him thy type utters its silent cry concerning our Redeemer.

Thy mother is a virgin of the sea; though he took her not to wife: she fell into his bosom, though he knew her not; she conceived thee near him, though he did not know her. Do thou, that art a type, reproach the Jewish women that have thee hung upon them. Thou art the only progeny of all forms which art like to the Word on High, Whom singly the Most High begot. The engraven forms seem to be the type of created things above. This visible offspring of the invisible womb is a type of great things. Thy goodly conception was without seed, and without wedlock was thy pure generation, and without brethren was thy single birth.

Our Lord had brethren and yet not brethren, since He was an Only-Begotten. O solitary one, thou type exact of the Only-Begotten! There is a type of thine in the crown of kings, wherein thou hast brothers and sisters.

Goodly gems are thy brethren, with beryls and unions as thy companions: may gold be as it were thy kinsman, may there be unto the King of kings a crown from thy well-beloved ones! When thou camest up from the sea, that living tomb, thou didst cry out. Let me have a goodly assemblage of brethren, relatives, and kinsmen. As the wheat is in the stalk, so thou art in the crown with princes: and it is a just restoration to thee, as if of a pledge, that from that depth thou shouldest be exalted to a goodly eminence. Wheat the stalk bears in the field; thee the head of the king upon his chariot carries about.

O daughter of the water, who hast left sea, wherein thou wert born, and art gone up to the dry land, wherein thou art beloved: for men have loved and seized and adorned themselves with thee, like as they did that Offspring Whom the Gentiles loved and crowned themselves withal.

It is by the mystery of truth that Leviathan is trodden down of mortals: the divers put him off, and put on Christ. In the sacrament of oil did the Apostles steal Thee away, and came up. They snatched their souls from his mouth, bitter as it was.

Thy Nature is like a silent lamb in its sweetness, of which if a man is to lay hold, he lifts it in a crucial form by its ears, as it was on Golgotha. He cast out abundantly all His gleams upon them that looked upon Him.

2. Shadowed forth in thy beauty is the beauty of the Son, Who clothed Himself with suffering when the nails passed through Him. The awl passed in thee since they handled thee roughly, as they did His hands; and because He suffered He reigned, as by thy sufferings thy beauty increased.

And if they showed no pity upon thee, neither did they love thee: still suffer as thou mightest, thou hast come to reign I Simon Peter showed pity on the Rock; whoso hath smitten it, is himself thereby overcome; it is by reason of Its suffering that Its beauty hath adorned the height and the depth.

Hymn III

1. Thou dost not hide thyself in thy bareness, O pearl! With the love of thee is the merchant ravished also, for he strips off his garments; not to cover thee, seeing thy clothing is thy light, thy garment is thy brightness, O thou that art bared!

Thou art like Eve who was clothed with nakedness. Cursed be he that deceived her and stripped her and left her. The serpent cannot strip off thy glory. In the mysteries whose type thou art, women are clothed with Light in Eden.

2. Very glistening are the pearls of Ethiopia, as it is written, Who gave thee to Ethiopia the land of black men. He that gave light to the Gentiles, both to the Ethiopians and unto the Indians did His bright beams reach.

The eunuch of Ethiopia upon his chariot saw Philip: the Lamb of Light met the dark man from out of the water. While he was reading, the Ethiopian was baptised and shone with joy, and journeyed on!

He made disciples and taught, and out of black men he made men white. And the dark Ethiopic women became pearls for the Son; He offered them up to the Father, as a glistening crown from the Ethiopians.

3. The Queen of Sheba was a sheep that had come into the place of wolves; the lamp of truth did Solomon give her, who also married her when he fell away. She was enlightened and went away, but they were dark as their manner was.

The bright spark which went down home with that blessed Queen, held on its shining amid the darkness, till the new Day-spring came. The bright spark met with this shining, and illumined the place.

4. There are in the sea divers fishes of many cubits, and with all their greatness they are very small; but by thy littleness the crown is made great, like as the Son, by whose littleness Adam was made great.

For the head is thy crown intended: for the eye thy beauty, for the ear thy goodliness. Come up from the sea, thou neighbour to the dry land, and come and sojourn by the seat of hearing. Let the ear love the word of life as it loveth thee!In the ear is the word, and without it is the pearl. Let it as being warned by thee, by thee get wisdom, and be warned by the word of truth. Be thou its mirror: the beauty of the Word in thine own beauty shall it see: in thee it shall learn how precious is the Word on High! The ear is the leaf: the flesh is the tree, and thou in the midst of it are a fruit of light, and to the womb that brings forth Light, thou art a type that points.

Thee He used as a parable of that kingdom, O pearl! as He did the virgins that entered into it, five in number, clothed with the light of their lamps! To thee are those bright ones like, thou that art clad in light!

5. Who would give a pearl to the daughter of the poor? For when it hangs on her, it becomes her not. Gain without price that faith, all of which becomes all the limbs of men. But for no gold would a lady exchange her pearl.

It were a great disgrace if thou shouldst throw thy pearl away into the mire for nought!

In the pearl of time let us behold that of eternity; for it is in the purse, or in the seal, or in the treasury. Within the gate there are other gates with their locks and keys. Thy pearl hath the High One sealed up as taking account of all.

Hymn IV

1. The thief gained the faith which gained him, and brought him up and placed him in paradise. He saw in the Cross a tree of life; that was the fruit, he was the eater in Adam’s stead.

The fool, who goes astray, grazes the faith, as it were an eye, by all manner of questions. The probing of the finger blinds the eye, and much more doth that prying blind. the faith.

For even the diver pries not into his pearl. In it do all merchants rejoice without prying into whence it came; even the king who is crowned therewith does not explore it.

2. Because Balaam was foolish, a foolish beast in the ass spoke with him, because he despised God Who spoke with him. Thee too let the pearl reprove in the ass’s stead.

The people that had a heart of stone, by a Stone He set at nought, for lo, a stone hears words. Witness its work that has reproved them; and you, ye deaf ones, let the pearl reprove today.

With the swallow and the crow did He put men to shame; with the ox, yea with the ass, did He put them to shame; let the pearl reprove now, O ye birds and things on earth and things below.

3. Not as the moon does thy light fill or wane; the Sun whose light is greater than all, lo! of Him it is that a type is shadowed out in thy little compass. O type of the Son, one spark of Whom is greater than the sun!-

The pearl itself is full, for its light is full; neither is there any cunning worker who can steal from it; for its wall is its own beauty, yea, its guard also! It lacks not, since it is entirely perfect.

And if a man would break thee to take a part from thee, thou art like the faith which with the heretics perishes, seeing they have broken it in pieces and spoiled it: for is it any better than this to have the faith scrutinised? The faith is an entire nature that may not be corrupted. The spoiler gets himself mischief by it: the heretic brings ruin on himself thereby. He that chases the light from his pupils blinds himself.

Fire and air are divided when sundered. Light alone, of all creatures, as its Creator, is not divided; it is not barren, for that it also begets without losing thereby.

4. And if a man thinks that thou art framed by art he errs greatly; thy nature proclaims that thou, as all stones, art not the framing of art; and so thou art a type of the Generation which no making framed.

Thy stone flees from a comparison with the Stone which is the Son. For thy own generation is from the midst of the deep, that of the Son of thy Creator is from the highest height; He is not like thee, in that He is like His Father.

And as they tell, two wombs bare thee also. Thou camest down from on high a fluid nature; thou camest up from the sea a solid body. By means of thy second birth thou didst show thy loveliness to the children of men.

Hands fixed thee, when thou wast embodied, into thy receptacles; for thou art in the crown as upon a cross, and in a coronet as in a victory; thou art upon the ears, as if to fill up what was lacking; thou extendest over all.

Hymn V

1. O gift that camest up without price with the diver! Thou laidest hold upon this visible light, that without price rises for the children of men: a parable of the hidden One that without price gives the hidden Dayspring!

And the painter too paints a likeness of thee with colours. Yet by thee is faith painted in types and emblems for colours, and in the place of the image by thee and thy colours is thy Creator painted.

O thou frankincense without smell, who breathest types from out of thee! thou art not to be eaten, yet thou givest a sweet smell unto them that hear thee! thou art not to be drunk, yet by thy story, a fountain of types art thou made unto the ears!

2. It is thou which art great in thy littleness, O pearl! Small is thy measure and little thy compass with thy weight; but great is thy glory: to that crown alone in which thou art placed, there is none like.

And who hath not perceived of thy littleness, how great it is; if one despises thee and throws thee away, he would blame himself for his clownishness, for when he saw thee in a king’s crown he would be attracted to thee.

3. Men stripped their clothes off and dived and drew thee out, pearl! It was not kings that put thee before men, but those naked ones who were a type of the poor and the fishers and the Galileans.

For clothed bodies were not able to come to thee; they came that were stript as children; they plunged their bodies and came down to thee; and thou didst much desire them, and thou didst aid them who thus loved thee.

Glad tidings did they give for thee: their tongues before their bosoms did the poor fishers open, and produced and showed the new riches among the merchants: upon the wrists of men they put thee as a medicine of life.

4. The naked ones in a type saw thy rising again by the sea-shore; and by the side of the lake they, the Apostles of a truth, saw the rising again of the Son of thy Creator. By thee and by thy Lord the sea and the lake were beautified.

The diver came up from the sea and put on his clothing; and from the lake too Simon Peter came up swimming and put on his coat; clad as with coats, with the love of both of you, were these two.

5. And since I have wandered in thee, pearl, I will gather up my mind, and by having contemplated thee, would become like thee, in that thou art all gathered up into thyself; and as thou in all times art one, one let me become by thee!

Pearls have I gathered together that I might make a crown for the Son in the place of stains which are in my members. Receive my offering, not that Thou art shortcoming; it is because of mine own shortcoming that I have offered it to Thee. Whiten my stains!

This crown is all spiritual pearls, which instead of gold are set in love, and instead of ouches in faith; and instead of hands, let praise offer it up to the Highest!

Hymn VI

1. Would that the memory of the fathers would exhale from the tombs; who were very simple as being wise, and reverend as believing. They without cavilling searched for, and came to the right path.

He gave the law; the mountains melted away; fools broke through it. By unclean ravens He fed Elijah at the desert stream; and moreover gave from the skeleton honey unto Samson. They judged not, nor inquired why it was unclean, why clean.

2. And when He made void the sabbaths, the feeble Gentiles were clothed with health. Samson took the daughter of the aliens, and there was no disputing among the righteous; the prophet also took a harlot, and the just held their peace.

He blamed the righteous, and He held up and lifted up to view their delinquencies: He pitied sinners, and restored them without cost: and made low the mountains of their sins: He proved that God is not to be arraigned by men, and as Lord of Truth. that His servants were His shadow; and whatsoever way His will looked, they directed also their own wills; and because Light was in Him, their shadows were enlightened.

3. How strangely perplexed are all the heretics by simple things! For when He plainly foreshadowed this New Testament by that of the Prophets, those pitiable men rose, as though from sleep, and shouted out and made a disturbance. And the Way, wherein the righteous held straight on, and by their truths had gone forth therein, that Way have these broken up, because they were besotted: this they left and went out of; because they pried, an evil searching, yea, an evil babbling led them astray.

They saw the ray: they made it darkness, that they might grope therein: they saw the jewel, even the faith: while they pried into it, it fell and was lost. Of the pearl they made a stone, that they might stumble upon it.

4. O Gift, which fools have made a poison! The People were for separating Thy beauteous root from Thy fountain, though they separated it not: false teachings estranged Thy beauty also from the stock thereof.

By Thee did they get themselves estranged, who wished to estrange Thee. By Thee the tribes were cut off and scattered abroad from out of Sion, and also the false teachings of the seceders.

Bring Thyself within the compass of our littleness, O Thou Gift of ours. For if love cannot find Thee out on all sides, it cannot be still and at rest. Make Thyself small, Thou Who art too great for all, Who comest unto all!

5. By this would those who wrangle against our Pearl be reproved; because instead of love, strife has come in and dared to essay to unveil thy beauty. It was not graven, since it is a progeny which cannot be interpreted.

Thou didst show thy beauty among the abjects to show whereto thou art like, thou Pearl that art all faces. The beholders were astonied and perplexed at thee. The separatists separated thee in two, and were separated in two by thee, thou that art of one substance throughout.

They saw not thy beauty, because there was not in them the eye of truth. For the veil of prophecy, full as it was of the mysteries; to them was a covering of thy glistering faces: they thought that thou wast other than thou art, O thou mirror of ours! and therefore these blind schismatics defiled thy fair beauty.

6. Since they have extolled thee too much, or have lowered thee too much, bring them to the even level. Come down, descend a little from that height of infidelity and heathendom; and come up from the depth of Judaism, though thou art in the Heaven.

Let our Lord be set between God and men! Let the Prophets be as it were His heralds! Let the Just One, as being His Father, rejoice! that Word it is which conquered both Jews and Heathens!

7. Come, Thou Gift of Holy Church, stay, rest in the midst of Her! The circumcised have troubled Thee, in that they are vain babblers, and so have the false doctrines in that they are contentious. Blessed be He that gave Thee a goodly company which bears Thee about!

In the covenant of Moses is Thy brightness shadowed forth: in the new covenant Thou dartest it forth: from those first Thy light shineth even unto those last. Blessed be He that gave us Thy gleam as well as Thy bright rays.

Hymn VII

1. As in a race saw I the disputers, the children of strife, trying to taste fire, to see the air, to handle the light: they were troubled at the gleaming, and struggled to make divisions.

The Son, Who is too subtle for the mind, did they seek to feel: and the Holy Ghost Who cannot be explored, they thought to explore with their questionings. The Father, Who never at any time was searched out, have they explained and disputed of.

The sound form of our faith is from Abraham, and our repentance is from Nineveh and the house of Rahab, and ours are the expectations of the Prophets, ours of the Apostles.

2. And envy is from Satan: the evil usage of the evil calf is from the Egyptians. The hateful sight of the hateful image of four faces is from the Hittites. Accursed disputation, that hidden moth, is from the Greeks.

The bitter enemy read and saw orthodox teachings, and subverted them; he saw hateful things, and sowed them; and he saw hope, and he turned it upside down and cut it off. The disputation that he planted, lo! it has yielded a fruit bitter to the tooth. Satan saw that the Truth strangled him, and united himself to the tares, and secreted his frauds, and spread his snares for the faith, and cast upon the priests the darts of the love of pre-eminence.

They made contests for the throne, to see which should first obtain it. There was that meditated in secret and kept it close: there was that openly combated for it: and there was that with a bribe crept up to it: and there was that with fraud dealt wisely to obtain it.

The paths differed, the scope was one, and they were alike. Him that was young, and could not even think of it, because it was not time for him; and him that was hoary and shaped out dreams for time beyond; all of them by his craftiness did the wicked one persuade and subdue. Old men, youths, and even striplings, aim at rank!

4. His former books did Satan put aside, and put on others: the People who was grown old had the moth and the worm devoured and eaten and left and deserted: the moth came into the new garment of the new peoples:

He saw the crucifiers who were rejected and cast forth as strangers: he made of those of the household, pryers; and of worshippers, they became disputants. From that garment the moth gendered and wound it up and deposited it.

The worm gendered in the storehouse of wheat, and sat and looked on: and lo! the pure wheat was mildewed, and devoured were the garments of glory! He made a mockery of us, and we of ourselves, since we were besotted!

He showed tares, and the bramble shot up in the pure vineyard! He infected the flock, and the leprosy broke out, and the sheep became hired servants of his! He began in the People, and came unto the Gentiles, that he might finish.

5. Instead of the reed which the former people made the Son hold, others have dared with their reed to write in their tracts that He is only a Son of man. Reed for reed does the wicked one exchange against our Redeemer, and instead of the coat of many colours, wherewith they clothed Him, titles has he dyed craftily. With diversity of names he clothed Him; either that of a creature or of a thing made, when He was the Maker.

And as he plaited for Him by silent men speechless thorns that cry out, thorns from the mind has he plaited now by the voice, as hymns; and concealed the spikes amid melodies that they might not be perceived.

6. When Satan saw that he was detected in his former frauds; that the spitting was discovered, and vinegar, and thorns, nails and wood, garments and reed and spear, which smote him, and were hated and openly known; he changed his frauds.

Instead of the blow with the hand, by which our Lord was overcome, he brought in distractions; and instead of the spitting, cavilling entered in; and instead of garments, secret divisions; and instead of the reed, came in strife to smite us on the face.

Haughtiness called for rage its sister, and there answered and came envy, and wrath, and pride, and fraud. They have taken counsel against our Redeemer as on that day when they took counsels at His Passion.

And instead of the cross, a hidden wood hath strife become; and instead of the nails, questionings have come in; and instead of hell, apostasy: the pattern of both Satan would renew again.Instead of the sponge which was cankered with vinegar and wormwood, he gave prying, the whole of which is cankered with death. The gall which they gave Him did our Lord put away from Him; the subtle questioning, which the rebellious one hath given, to fools is sweet.

7. And at that time there were judges against them, lo, the judges are, as it were, against us, and instead of a handwriting are their commands. Priests that consecrate crowns, set snares for kings.

Instead of the priesthood praying for royalty that wars may cease from among men, they teach wars of overthrow, which set kings to combat with those round about.

O Lord, make the priests and kings peaceful; that in one Church priests may pray for their kings, and kings spare those round about them; and may the peace which is within Thee become ours, Lord, Thou that art within and without all thing!

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Molestation Of “Childhood”

reject every kind of evil. 1 Thessalonians 5:22

Pondering why parents allow society in the name of “Culture” to molest their children, when they would seek vengeance if it was done by any human..
How often we hear, Oh its just clothing. Its just music, Its just the way it is.

I just read a story in the JS Online regarding a bathing suit for tween girls, that has a push-up bra built in. Here is a snip from the story, and you tell me who is speaking here and if the first guess is Satan, your correct.

“It’s no problem if we outrage the parents,” Garrett said of the campaign. “They (Abercrombie) still have the kids.”

Why? Why do THEY still have the kids? Where are the “Kids” getting the MONEY to be in their possession? Why do we as PARENTS allow our children to fall prey to this when it LEADS to exploitation in various ways of our children? Think of it this way, lets say “Ambercrombie” were an individual. What do you believe would happen to this person? Its not just this one article or business. Its the way this culture has been twisted. Its become SO twisted, it doesn’t hide the fact its hell bent on the destruction of morals and values and parents just sit by and give their children willingly to the “Molesters” of our their childhoods. Marketing companies have been psychologically molesting your children for years. Now what? How about “Society” stands up against all of it, and says no more. These are my children and you can’t have them.

Proverbs 1:15 My son, do not go along with them, do not set foot on their paths;

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My Tribulation

My tribulation, is knowing our Lord with my entire heart, mind, soul & body. In knowing He is with us and not being able to express Him deeply enough to others. In seeing Him EVERY DAY in every second of my life, and not being able to share this great Joy with the entire world all together. With undeniable proof in my life He is real, and having most of the world tell me, its only in my mind. The greatest sadness and joy is knowing Him, while others do not.

BELIEVE IT! REPENT: ” I want love, not sacrifice; knowledge of God, not holocausts.”

This mornings universals, are ABSOLUTE TRUTH! I heard this for the first time today and undoubtedly know this for fact.

To the sinner, God has said this:
Why do you recite my statutes?
Why do you dare to speak my covenant?
For you hate what I teach you,
and reject what I tell you.
…The moment you saw a thief, you joined him;
you threw in your lot with adulterers.
You spoke evil with your mouth,
and your tongue made plans to deceive.
Solemnly seated, you denounced your own brother;
you poured forth hatred against your own mother’s son.
All this you did, and I was silent;
so you thought that I was just like you.
But I will reprove you –
I will confront you with all you have done.
Understand this, you who forget God;
lest I tear you apart, with no-one there to save you.
Whoever offers up a sacrifice of praise gives me true honour;
whoever follows a sinless path in life will be shown the salvation of God.
Glory be to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit,
as it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be,
world without end.
Amen.
I want love, not sacrifice; knowledge of God, not holocausts.

I believe nothing can happen that will outweigh the supreme advantage of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For Him I have accepted the loss of everything, and I look on everything as so much rubbish if only I can have Christ and be given a place in Him. I am no longer trying for perfection by my own efforts, but I want only the perfection that comes through faith in Christ and is from God and based on faith. All I want is to know Christ and the power of His resurrection and to share His sufferings by reproducing the pattern of His death. That is the way I can hope to take my place in the resurrection of the dead. Not that I have become perfect yet: I have not yet won, but I am still running, trying to capture the prize for which Christ Jesus captured me. I am far from thinking that I have already won. All I can say is that I forget the past and I strain ahead for what is still to come. I am racing for the finish, for the prize to which God calls us upward to receive in Christ Jesus. We who are called “perfect” must all think in this way.
Philippians 3:8-15

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“He Told Me Everything I Have Done.”

Once you taste His water, it is all you will desire…

Let me ask you for one second, to think about this… IF you do not know Jesus now, how will you know Him when He returns? What if He was to give you so many more chances to get to to know Him? What if He were right in front of you? Would you know Him? What if “Someone” were to tell you EVERYTHING you have done. Would you know who it was?

There is SO much information in today’s Gospel. I can only touch on a few words! This is a very personal gospel for me and I can seriously identify with the woman at the well, but I will not touch on that today.

I LOVE today’s Gospel John 4:5-42.. How many times do we “Think” we are not good enough to receive the gifts our Lord Jesus Christ is preparing for us? How many times we, because of the sins we have committed, believe that Jesus would rather give to “His Own”, when we in fact, are His own.

I am also reminded of Martha and Mary when I hear this gospel. Martha, although working for Jesus, spent her time working and missed out on His company, while Mary sat at our Lord’s feet, listening to every word. Eating the food He was providing her.

Reading a little deeper – “He Told Me Everything I Have Done.” Nothing can be kept hidden. NOTHING is hidden to the eyes of God. It is better to be honest now, then to wait until later. Therefor our Lord can use you as a “Worker” to feed others.

Jesus came to the Samaritan town called Sychar, near the land that Jacob gave to his son Joseph. Jacob’s well is there and Jesus, tired by the journey, sat straight down by the well. It was about the sixth hour. When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her, ‘Give me a drink.’ His disciples had gone into the town to buy food. The Samaritan woman said to him, ‘What? You are a Jew and you ask me, a Samaritan, for a drink?’ – Jews, in fact, do not associate with Samaritans. Jesus replied:
‘If you only knew what God is offering
and who it is that is saying to you:
Give me a drink, you would have been the one to ask,
and he would have given you living water.’

You have no bucket, sir,’ she answered ‘and the well is deep: how could you get this living water? Are you a greater man than our father Jacob who gave us this well and drank from it himself with his sons and his cattle?’ Jesus replied:
‘Whoever drinks this water
will get thirsty again;
but anyone who drinks the water that I shall give
will never be thirsty again:
the water that I shall give
will turn into a spring inside him,
welling up to eternal life.’

‘Sir,’ said the woman ‘give me some of that water, so that I may never get thirsty and never have to come here again to draw water.’ ‘Go and call your husband’ said Jesus to her ‘and come back here.’ The woman answered, ‘I have no husband.’ He said to her, ‘You are right to say, “I have no husband”; for although you have had five, the one you have now is not your husband. You spoke the truth there.’ ‘I see you are a prophet, sir’ said the woman. ‘Our fathers worshipped on this mountain, while you say that Jerusalem is the place where one ought to worship.’ Jesus said:
‘Believe me, woman,
the hour is coming
when you will worship the Father
neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem.
You worship what you do not know;
we worship what we do know:
for salvation comes from the Jews.
But the hour will come
– in fact it is here already –
when true worshippers will worship the Father in spirit and truth:
that is the kind of worshipper the Father wants.
God is spirit,
and those who worship
must worship in spirit and truth.’

The woman said to him, ‘I know that Messiah – that is, Christ – is coming; and when he comes he will tell us everything.’ ‘I who am speaking to you,’ said Jesus ‘I am he.’
At this point his disciples returned, and were surprised to find him speaking to a woman, though none of them asked, ‘What do you want from her?’ or, ‘Why are you talking to her?’ The woman put down her water jar and hurried back to the town to tell the people. ‘Come and see a man who has told me everything I ever did; I wonder if he is the Christ?’ This brought people out of the town and they started walking towards him.
Meanwhile, the disciples were urging him, ‘Rabbi, do have something to eat; but he said, ‘I have food to eat that you do not know about.’ So the disciples asked one another, ‘Has someone been bringing him food?’ But Jesus said:
‘My food is to do the will of the one who sent me,
and to complete his work.
Have you not got a saying:
Four months and then the harvest?
Well, I tell you:
Look around you, look at the fields;
already they are white, ready for harvest!
Already the reaper is being paid his wages,
already he is bringing in the grain for eternal life,
and thus sower and reaper rejoice together.
For here the proverb holds good:
one sows, another reaps;
I sent you to reap a harvest you had not worked for.
Others worked for it;
and you have come into the rewards of their trouble.’

Many Samaritans of that town had believed in him on the strength of the woman’s testimony when she said, ‘He told me all I have ever done’, so, when the Samaritans came up to him, they begged him to stay with them. He stayed for two days, and when he spoke to them many more came to believe; and they said to the woman, ‘Now we no longer believe because of what you told us; we have heard him ourselves and we know that he really is the saviour of the world.’

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I Can Hear And See Again

At the request of Bishops and Priests, John Cojanis a Catholic Lay Missionary from the Diocese of Tucson has been conducting large healing missions in many cities and states across the country. Oftentimes many emotional, spiritual and physical healing occur. This past week, my parish was blessed to hold one such healing mission. I regained my sight and my hearing. Glory goes to God.

Sunday morning, as I sit in the pew after mass, waiting for the announcements to end, my priest invited John Cojanis up to speak about his healing mission that would be taking place this week, over a two day period. I have to admit, I was a little suspicious. I will blame it on pride and thinking I know better. As I was walking out, John was in the back of church and grabbed my hand, said good by and invited me to be there. I wasn’t going to lie to the man, so I made sure to be there.

Monday evening and the church was packed. Most of the pews in the back were roped off so folks would not sit to far away. We sang songs at first and then John and his wife Sally gave there background speeches and the healing prayers began. John would ask, does anyone have any arthritis or back pains and people would raise there hands. We would all pray in the name of JESUS CHRIST, and the spirits causing most of the pain were bound up and removed. Yeah, I know, faith healing garbage! Nope! John is not a faith healer. He uses the power of Christ, through the PERSON who is afflicted to use the power of Christ through PRAYER to heal themselves and throes around them.

“After Jesus had gone indoors, his disciples asked him privately, “Why couldn’t we drive it out? He replied, “This kind can come out only by prayer.” Mark 9 28-29

As I was praying over the people around me, with me, John had asked if anyone had problems with their hearing. To be honest, I had for a very long time and forgot about it. I did as John asked. I rubbed my fingers together lightly next to each ear, hearing just how much I could not hear. I can not hear a few tones, but what I was truly deaf to, was listening to our Lord speaking to my heart. SO, John asked all with hearing problems to raise their hands, and I did. The prayers began. The person sitting in back of me, whom I could not see, cupped her hands over my ears as the prayers became more intense. When they were finished praying, John instructed the people to check to see if their hearing was clear in both ears. So the person behind me, turned my head to the right and whispered in my ear, “Can you hear me”. As this voice rang in loud and clear in my ear, my VISION was taken directly to a statue of the Sacred Heart of Jesus. I began to cry. I was hearing Him loud and clear. The person then turned my head to the left and whispered again “Can you hear me”. Once again, my VISION was taken to the statue of Our Holy Mother and the tears came pouring out. I could hear them loud and clear. I had spent far to long, not listening to both of them. Along with not seeing them in others.

To understand how significant this is Please read “True Love“. My story of how I came to LOVE our Lord Jesus Christ.

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Where Is Home?

Am I the “Rich man” or Lazarus? Let me share with you…

“The Lord says this: ‘A curse on the man who puts his trust in man,
who relies on things of flesh, whose heart turns from the Lord. He is like dry scrub in the wastelands: if good comes, he has no eyes for it, he settles in the parched places of the wilderness, a salt land, uninhabited.

A blessing on the man who puts his trust in the Lord, with the Lord for his hope.
He is like a tree by the waterside that thrusts its roots to the stream: when the heat comes it feels no alarm, its foliage stays green; it has no worries in a year of drought, and never ceases to bear fruit.

The heart is more devious than any other thing, perverse too: who can pierce its secrets? I, the Lord, search to the heart, I probe the loins, to give each man what his conduct and his actions deserve.’ “Jeremiah 17:5-10

You always here – “Home is where the heart is” But to fully answer this, you must answer honestly, where is your Heart?

Home is where our Lord is. A house is shelter.

As I was “LISTENING” at mass this morning, I was captivated by the REALIZATION of how, the “Church” is my home and my comfort. I never want to leave Mass anymore. My “Home” can never be taken away from me. When I leave Mass, I head to work. No matter where I go. The place where I sleep, is where I work. The place I shop, is where I work. The place I prepare meals, is where I work. I can always find “Work” everywhere I go, but my “Home” is with Our Lord.

My husband and I are about to lose our house. A house that provided shelter for us. As I am packing up boxes and coming to terms, I must admit I was a bit taken back and scared at first, but now can see this as a path we must take. God provided this house and now we must head elsewhere. Granted, we are in NO WAY, The Holy Family, but they too had to pack up and leave on several occasions.

I know that no matter where we find “Shelter”, my “Home” is where my heart is, and my heart is with our Lord Jesus Christ. Almighty Father I ask you through your Most Holy Son, Lord Jesus Christ, to lead the way…

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The Annunciation

Imagine your a 14 year old girl. An angel appears and you agree to do something you don’t understand, because it was asked of you from God… Your entire life has been plotted out from that moment on. Day after day. Second after second, because you were told everything that was going to happen to you in advance. Although at times, you can not recall the events, until they are happening, or have passed. As it is happening, you can only keep your composure, and work through the pain and agonize, because it is for God’s glory. Thank you most Holy Mother Mary…for saying yes.

Now in the sixth month, the archangel Gabriel was sent from God to a city of Galilee, named Nazareth, to a virgin pledged to be married to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David. The virgin’s name was Mary. 28Having come in, the angel said to her, “Rejoice, you highly favored one! The Lord is with you. Blessed are you among women!” But when she saw him, she was greatly troubled at the saying, and considered what kind of salutation this might be. The angel said to her, “Don’t be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. Behold, you will conceive in your womb, and bring forth a son, and will call his name ‘Jesus.’ He will be great, and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father, David, and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever. There will be no end to his Kingdom.” Mary said to the angel, “How can this be, seeing I am a virgin?” The angel answered her, “The Holy Spirit will come on you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. Therefore also the holy one who is born from you will be called the Son of God. Behold, Elizabeth, your relative, also has conceived a son in her old age; and this is the sixth month with her who was called barren. For everything spoken by God is possible.” Mary said, “Behold, the handmaid of the Lord; be it to me according to your word.” The angel departed from her.

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New Evangelization, Same Old Temptations

With the call for “New Evangelization” we all must take a few steps back, and not to place the soul being used to speak the message, above the true “Messenger” Never forget:

“I am the Lord your God, who brought you up out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery; Do not have any other gods before me. You shall not make for yourself an idol, whether in the form of anything that is in heaven above, or that is on the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, punishing children for the iniquity of parents, to the third and the fourth generation of those who reject me, but showing steadfast love to the thousandth generation of those who love me and keep my commandments.” Exodus 20:2-6

In light of the new scandal or charges being brought against Father Corapi, we have to take into account that many more scandals will come to light for any other soul on the path to fullness in Christ. It is very easy to be tempted into vainglory when we are faced in today’s world with spreading the message of God. I’m not here to condemn or judge or choose sides in the matter or any that will arise. What I do want to point out is that with the new media, we all have to make sure we do not “Idolize” the presenter of God’s message, but rather KNOW God who allows the soul to bring His message. If we idolize the earthly messenger, we have to understand that we are not giving our full attention to God. Many times we do this every day and when the messenger falls, we to fall with him rather then holding on to God who is the true Messenger, through the work of His Son, to the Holy Spirit which brings the message through the actions of each of us.

Matthew 22:36-39

“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’

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Grabbing Onto The Branches

Faith is to believe what you do not see; the reward of this faith is to see what you believe. – Saint Augustine

I can’t help but ponder how many Saints we have and how much they have played a part in my life. Their works, and how so many of their ways carry great influence. It is imposable for me to pick just one and pinpoint in particular, THAT is the one because Jesus Christ is the One. Which one I can say was the first “Branch” I grabbed on to, without a doubt, Saint Augustine of Hippo.

The works and words of the Saints I would have to compare to branches hanging low enough to be used for leverage, help off the “Jungle” floor. On the jungle floor, the food is picked over and rotting unless you can catch it as it is falling. It will sustain you for a time, but its never enough. You have to forage in the trees. Not to mention, there are a lot of predators on the floor. You have to jump up onto one branch. But if you stay on that one, you never move to where you need to be. You just swing back and forth and eventually run out of food. What I have seen, is all the branches have much to offer. The goal is to keep climbing, eating, drinking what they have to offer, until you reach the “Vine” where all the fruit and branches are visible. Where the “Light” is bright enough to sustain the branches that produce the fruit. Where the supply is abundant.

The second you let go of the “Branches” becoming “Spooked” by the wind, you will fall back to the floor of the jungle.

If you believe what you like in the gospels, and reject what you don’t like, it is not the gospel you believe, but yourself. Saint Augustine

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Just One Peony

Luke 12:34 “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

Since moving to San Diego in 2002, and being able to blossom in my faith, now planted, rather then being kept as a bulb in a bag, waiting for my chance to grow, my faith in Christ has taken over my entire life. Growing is a very slow processes and we don’t always see the daily effects until after the flower has opened to view its beauty. When we do take the time, we learn how to cultivate it. Nurture it and prolong the growing for a bigger and richer harvest.

Last summer, I was grocery shopping and came across cut bunches of peony’s. They were so beautiful and I was taken back to my childhood, in my mothers garden and then again in my grandmothers garden back in the Midwest. Peony’s don’t grow where I live now so seeing them was such a delight that I HAD to have a couple of bunches. They were not cheep. I wanted them. The scent of them was so wonderful! I placed them in the cart and finished shopping. As I began to load the groceries into the car, I was overcome with the thought that I had to go to Adoration and pray before going home.

I finished loading up the truck and headed down the street, passing the turn for my home and headed straight to church. As I pulled into the lot, I didn’t want to go empty handed. The peony’s I had purchased, were right next to me. I smiled, thinking they ALL need to be here, and began to open the two bags containing the bunches, gathered each of them all up and brought them with me into Adoration for our Lord.

I placed them into a vase that was already in the room, in front of our Lord and smiled, knowing full well, He wanted me there and I came. I prayed only for a few moments, kissed the tabernacle and left our Lord with SO much peace. I couldn’t hold back my smile. As I was walking back to my truck, I thought of how I didn’t need the flowers. I needed that time with Him and was so grateful for it because nothing can fill that void in your soul, but Him. Not flowers, money, beauty nothing! With Him, you have everything. You only need Him.

I climbed back into my truck, smiling and at peace, and looked down to find laying across the seat, just one peony. I was moved to tears. I thanked our Lord for giving me one. It took my breath away. I cried the whole way home. I placed that one peony in a tiny vase and it brought me more joy then a thousand of them and still does to this very day.

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How He Makes Me “Laugh”

The difference between “Funny” and “Joy”.

If this world only knew His “sense of humor”, they would never mock or belittle or blaspheme Him again… I pray the entire world gets His sense of humor. Soon.

His “humor” is such that I often laugh to the point of crying when I see what He has done to my soul. Its an “Inside Joke” you had to be there. Each soul understand this when they can look back at the old self, while repenting. I’m sure there are a lot of Saints in heaven “laughing” at what He has done to me because I am laughing right along with them. His “humor”, is found in the destruction of pride, bigotry, arrogance, and especially lack of faith in Him. The exact opposite of what today’s society calls “Funny” by mocking Him, portraying Him as a sinner, etc…

A few months ago, I read a story in which two Neo-Nazis, man and wife, found out they were actually Jewish and had a “Conversion of Heart”. They joined a synagogue leaving their hatred in the dust. That, is “God’s humor”. That is “Joy”.

“the LORD delights in those who fear him, who put their hope in his unfailing love.” Psalm 147:11

“Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap.” Galatians 6:7

“17 And the seventy returned with joy, saying, “Lord, even the demons are subject to us in your name!” 18 And he said to them, “I was watching Satan fall like lightning from heaven. 19 Behold, I have given you authority to tread upon serpents and scorpions and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall injure you. 20 Nevertheless, do not rejoice in this, that the spirits are subject to you, but rejoice that your names are recorded in heaven.” Luke 10:17-20

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Realizing the Seriousness of Sin

I couldn’t agree more!

Realizing the Seriousness of Sin – Archbishop Timothy Dolan
Snip from the full story:

“We need to be shocked by our sins, as the Holy Father says, and also be shocked that Jesus keeps us in His hand. The Sacrament of Penance accomplishes this in a supreme way. We prepare for confession by examining our consciences – looking hard, as it were, at the wretchedness in our heart. Then we receive absolution of those sins, and through the ministry of the Church are invited once again to be shocked at the mercy of God!”

Link to : The Altar and the Confessional:
A Pastoral Letter on the Sacrament of Penance + Timothy M. Dolan

“It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.”

Realizing the Seriousness of Sin

If the Holy Eucharist and the Sacrament of Penance are at the very heart of the Christian life, why is the latter neglected? It is a lamentable characteristic of the Church’s life in our time. Almost thirty years ago, soon to be Blessed Pope John Paul II convoked a Synod of Bishops addressed to the very topic of Reconciliation and Penance in the Mission of the Church. The penetrating analysis of the Holy Father’s subsequent apostolic exhortation retains its force today. He wrote in 1984 that, in an age when God is pushed to the margins, the awareness of our need for forgiveness will diminish, for “the loss of the sense of sin is thus a form or consequence of the denial of God: not only in the form of atheism but also in the form of secularism.”[4]

We do not only observe a diminishing sense of sin in the secular culture around us. We find it in the Church herself. Perhaps it is an over-reaction to an earlier period, as the late Holy Father suggests:

“Some are inclined to replace exaggerated attitudes of the past with other exaggerations: From seeing sin everywhere they pass to not recognizing it anywhere; from too much emphasis on the fear of eternal punishment they pass to preaching a love of God that excludes any punishment deserved by sin; from severity in trying to correct erroneous consciences they pass to a kind of respect for conscience which excludes the duty of telling the truth.”[5]

Fair enough. Not everything was perfect decades ago when most Catholics routinely went to confession – perhaps too routinely. But whatever problems existed in the 1950s are now a half-century in the past, and subsequent generations have grown up without any knowledge of whatever excesses may have existed. They have indeed grown up without what belongs to them as part of the patrimony as Catholics – the liberating, joyful experience of God’s mercy in the sacrament of penance.

We receive the gift of mercy to the extent that we realize our need for it. We desire forgiveness only if we acknowledge the seriousness of sin. The recently-beatified Cardinal John Henry Newman expressed the magnitude of sin with his characteristic literary force:

“The Catholic Church holds it better for the sun and moon to drop from heaven, for the earth to fail, and for all the many millions on it to die of starvation in extremest agony, as far as temporal affliction goes, than that one soul, I will not say, should be lost, but should commit one single venial sin, should tell one wilful untruth, or should steal one poor farthing without excuse.”[6]

Do we think today that Blessed John Henry Newman is right? How many of us would argue that opposite – that a little sin here and there is no big deal? How many, both inside and outside of the Church, argue that a little sin here and there is worth this technological advance, or that public policy goal, or is an acceptable means to some desired end? As someone jokingly observed to me, “It’s the Lamb of God, not our culture, that’s supposed to take away the sins of the world!”

We just heard this past Sunday, the First Sunday of Lent, the account of the temptations of the Lord Jesus. Satan offers to Jesus all the kingdoms of the world if He would just bow down in worship. A little “devil worship” and Jesus would have the whole world! Wouldn’t that be more efficient than God’s own plan – the passion, death, resurrection, ascension, Pentecost, and two thousand years of evangelization? But no sin is worth even all the kingdoms of the world.

Blessed Cardinal Newman is only one in a tradition of saints who have spoken with great ferocity about the horror we should have for sin – including our own beloved Saint Patrick, who emphasized the essential role of penance in his conversion of Ireland.

We can speak so boldly about the horror of sin because the good news is that the Lord Jesus did not just die for sin in general, but for my sins, and yours. So our horror at sin should be accompanied by a serene confidence that forgiveness is ours should we ask for it with true contrition. Together with Saint Paul we can give thanks that where sin increases, grace abounds all the more (cf. Romans 5:20)! We’re not “hung-up” on guilt and sin; no, we’re obsessed with God’s mercy.

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A Prayer to Redeem Lost Time

O my God! Source of all mercy! I acknowledge Your sovereign power. While recalling the wasted years that are past, I believe that You, Lord, can in an instant turn this loss to gain. Miserable as I am, yet I firmly believe that You can do all things. Please restore to me the time lost, giving me Your grace, both now and in the future, that I may appear before You in “wedding garments.” Amen. – by St. Teresa of Avila

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St. Cyril of Jerusalem

“Make your fold with the sheep; flee from the wolves: depart not from the Church,”

St. Cyril of Jerusalem, pray for us. Lord Jesus Christ have mercy on us all. Amen

St. Cyril’s teaching about the Blessed Sacrament is of the first importance, for he was speaking freely, untrammelled by the “discipline of the secret”. On the Real Presence he is unambiguous: “Since He Himself has declared and said of the bread: This is My Body, who shall dare to doubt any more? And when He asserts and says: This is My Blood, who shall ever hesitate and say it is not His Blood?” Of the Transformation, he argues, if Christ could change water into wine, can He not change wine into His own Blood? The bread and wine are symbols: “In the type of bread is given thee the Body, in the type of wine the Blood is given thee”; but they do not remain in their original condition, they have been changed, though the senses cannot tell us this: “Do not think it mere bread and wine, for it is the Body and Blood of Christ, according to the Lord’s declaration”. “Having learned this and being assured of it, that appears to be bread is not bread, though perceived by the taste, but the Body of Christ, and what appears to be wine is not wine, though the taste says so, but the Blood of Christ . . . strengthen thy heart, partaking of it as spiritual (food), and rejoice the face of thy soul”. It is difficult not to see the whole doctrine of Transubstantiation in these explicit words. Confirmation is with blessed chrism: “As the bread of the Eucharist after the invocation of the Holy Ghost is not bread, but the Body of Christ, so this holy myrrh is no longer simple, as one might say, after the invocation, but a gift of Christ and capable by the presence of the Holy Ghost of giving His divinity” (ii, 4).

Taken from New Advent

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Lost In The Deep Dark Night

As dark as it gets…He will lead you out of the dark and the beauty and fullness of His light is so bright and beautiful, once your out of the first blaze, you will treasure Him always above everything on earth. Nothing will stand between your soul and Him again. Sin will try but it will never withstand the power of the heat of His love for you. The key to getting out, is to never stop asking our Lord Jesus Christ, through the Holy Spirit and all His Saints, to guide you out, through prayer, attending mass, confession, and ALL things “Holy”. Once you stop and assume you can find your own way out, you will be eaten alive. The evil one will grab you by your neck in his teeth and shake you until all life is gone. Only because God allows him to because you “Chose” to let him, rather then “Choosing” God and His fullness.

I don’t want to write about this today. There is so much here, that I have not written about yet. After attending mass this morning and hearing today’s first reading, I am filled with so much hope at what I am about to write will somehow help the most lost souls in the deepest darkness and help them to understand, no matter where you are, even when you do not know, God always knows and is there with you. The evil one will try to mask God being with you. Don’t let him. This is the test of faith. When you will hear in your heart from our Lord, “Where are you? What is this that you have done?” He always knows where you are. He is asking you if you know. Be truthful always. His mercy is endless.

In June of 2002, a month before the one year anniversary of my rape, I to cried out to our Lord, to forgive me, to have mercy on me. Alone in one years time, after I was raped, I lost my home, I lost my job, I could no longer take care of my child and had her live with my sister, I was about to lose my mother to cancer, and this world had me convinced, at that time, I was mentally ill because of my faith in Jesus Christ. I could not laugh, cry, hurt, love, just sit there or even be human, without someone asking me if I was taking my “Medication”.I was cut off from worldly possessions and any ties to the people in my life who did not understand our Lord was truly calling me to come back home to Him. I had not yet had times with religious people to speak with concerning my faith. At this time, I hadn’t yet reached out to the Church fully. The Catholic church I was just getting comfortable in, was forty-five miles away by the home I had just lost, and I was told that if I brought myself to a priest at the church of my family, I would bring shame to everyone. In their minds, I was crazy and just needed more medication. I allowed myself to become cut off, by the words and actions of others, cut off from the Church that fed me, and gave me life giving water, my only hope and joy in this world.

I FORGIVE THEM! I hope they can forgive me. I do not expect anyone to understand things that happen between God and a soul. The personal relationship God has with the soul is as individual as the scientific DNA of a human person. He brings TOGETHER all individualistic souls, to complete fullness in ONE BODY, through His Bride, the Church. I DO expect non believers to trust in Him. To place their faith in Him. To learn His ways. Do NOT follow my lack of faith in Him. I was truly crazy this day. I was giving into the evil one. There is no justification for doing this. Despair had taken over.

Before I cried out to our Lord, in what I only now know I was going through for a few years, as my first “Dark Night Of The Soul”, in anger and complete disobedience to God, believing what THIS WORLD thought, I swallowed 230 pills. Immediately after, I broke down and told God I was sorry. I didn’t want to do it. I left my parents home, where I had done this and started walking. Walking anywhere away from there. I had brought so much shame as it was to my family, and to God, I just started walking and begging God for mercy and forgiveness. It was a VERY quiet day. I couldn’t hear a thing. No birds chirping, no wind, no traffic, not another human being in site. No cars driving by as I was walking. I turned a corner and a Hispanic man was in the distance walking towards me. I was sobbing harder the closer he came. I looked at him and told him what I had done. I broke down uncontrollably as he walked with me, never leaving my side, guiding my steps blocks away to a phone. He called 911 to get me help and a family member. He stayed with me and refused to leave my side. He kept me awake as I started to fall asleep. He cried with me at a point. When my family member got there, they refused to believe I did this and told the man and a police officer they were bring me home, that I was just crazy. This man helping me, said NO! I began to lose consciousness.

I woke up in ICU at the local hospital. The VERY FIRST WORDS out of my mouth were praise & GLORY and THANKSGIVING to God for ALLOWING me to live! My mother came to see me in her frail state. She didn’t have much to say to me for doing this unthinkable act. She handed me a piece of paper with a phone number on it. It was to the man who helped me. She wanted me to thank him. She was afraid to tell me his name at first, but when she did, it was as if the world stopped. His name was Jesus.

I called him and thanked him. We became good friends until I left Chicago. I also call on Jesus Christ EVERY DAY, and thank Him. Lord Forgive me for my selfish past…It is only through You that I have a future with You.

I have to end this here.. The world I now live in, because of the LOVE, MERCY and FORGIVENESS of our Lord is a different place now. I did die that day. That selfish person no longer exists. I can only live in this world through Him.

Need help? call 911 IMMEDIATELY
After you receive help for your body, IMMEDIATELY Call a Catholic Priest! Confess the sins that seek to destroy you and cut your life short which are trying to convince you there is no way out. There is an EXIT from where you are now in this life and His name is Jesus Christ.

EDIT TO ADD:

Pray for the souls in purgatory, who didn’t get the second chance, that I was given.

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For Every Nation On Earth

“Our world needs to be converted by God, it needs His forgiveness, His love, it needs a new heart.” Pope Benedict XVI

“From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us” Acts 17:26-27

Lord Jesus Christ, most merciful Saviour of the world, we humbly beseech You, by Your most Sacred Heart, that all the sheep who stray out of Your fold may in one day be converted to You, the Shepherd and Bishop of their souls, who lives and reigns with God the Father in the unity of the Holy Spirit, world without end.
Amen.

Father, hear our prayers for the salvation of the world. Grant Mercy to all souls that turned away from You. Open their hearts and minds with Your light.
Gather Your children from the east and the west, from the north and the south.
Have mercy O God on those who do not know You. Bring them out of darkness into Your light. You are our saving God Who leads us in our salvation. Protect us from evil.
Bless and praise You O Lord, hear our prayers and answer us. You, our Savior, are the hope of all the ends of the Earth and the distant seas. May Your way be known upon Earth; among all nations Your salvation.
We put the world in Your hands; fill us with Your love. Grant us peace through Christ, our Lord.
Amen

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Saint Patrick’s Day

Apostle sent by God to Ireland,
in your humility you called yourself a sinner,
but you became a most successful missionary
and prompted countless pagans
to follow the Savior.
Many of their descendants in turn
spread the Good News in numerous foreign lands.
Through your powerful intercession with God,
obtain the missionaries we need
to continue the word you began.
New Saint Joseph People’s Prayer Book

Happy Saint Patrick’s Day. An Irish Blessing

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The Holy Rosary

“Some people are so foolish that they think they can go through life without the help of the Blessed Mother. Love the Madonna and pray the rosary, for her Rosary is the weapon against the evils of the world today. All graces given by God pass through the Blessed Mother.”

-St. Padre Pio

The Rosary – So many ways to let my pondering go in beautiful directions that never cease…So many things to focus on…

After my mother passed away in 2002, I moved here to San Diego. When her estate (LOL at Estate- We were very lucky to have a roof over our heads and it was no estate) was settled, I received a package of some belongings that I had “Won” of hers in the family lottery for personal items. Funny really, I received not only her rosary that I got in a lot of trouble for playing with as a child, but also my grandmothers. Keep in mind, I have 7 other brother and sisters, whom they could have easily gone to.
I also received a medallion. Leather on one side with the photo to the right, on the other side, sewn together with ribbon. I often looked at it intently as a child. I knew it was our Holy Mother and Infant Savior, but I could never figure out who the second child was, until recently. But, that is a story for another time. If your wondering, it is Saint John The Baptist.

Unfortunately, for a long time, praying the rosary for me, is a difficult task. Not because I don’t like it. I believe it is filled with so much beauty, wonder and spiritual bliss, but rather I find my concentration on our Lord and our Holy Mother difficult to keep during the prayer. I struggle constantly, with placing MY everyday life, with theirs, and seeing things from their perspective, in my life. I don’t try to do it, it just happens that way. I feel a deeper need to toss aside MY life events, and focus intently on what our Holy Family, must have endured. What I have learned to do, is have my bible in hand, reading the corresponding scripture, as I am praying. It tends to hold my attention better, then without.

I never prayed the rosary as a child. Actually, I believe I was taught how to pay it in Catholic grade school, but never prayed it at home or on my own. It wasn’t until last year that I started praying the rosary. With of course, my mother & grandmothers rosary’s. I have to say, it took me a while to learn it. LOL I also thought in the beginning if I didn’t pray it correctly, mixing up the Mysteries, or forgetting a Glory Be, it wouldn’t count. HA! What nonsense! Even in the times I was learning, so much in regards to our Lords passion became apparent to me. So much beauty of the LOVE and bond our Holy Mother had for her infant son and through His Life, Death and Resurrection. In between my failings to concentrate, I have shed many tears. For a long time, wailing out loud, tears streaming down my face was common, on Friday nights, during the Sorrowful Mysteries.

Every time I pray it, its as if a tiny glimpse of our Lords life, is revealed. Just a split second flash, that makes me feel as if I am there. There for the birth of our Lord. There in the garden before His death. There as the post He was tide to for scourging. There as the Roman guards are twisting the thorns together making the crown. I can see the robe they placed on Him and feel the pain in His back and chest as they place it on, sticking to the blood all over his body. Knowing any contact from even a breeze would be painful. I can see as the Romans ripped it off His body and thus pulling off more flesh, where His blood became coagulated and began to heal into the threads of the material. I can see Him covered in a mixture of dirt, blood and sand from falling, moving me to tears as Veronica wipes His face. Wishing I could do the same, just to bring Him that simple coolness, simple mercy from the cloth, while he burned in pain.

I could get carried away in this post. In the first week I started praying the Rosary, there was another glimpse of “Something” I visioned. Two faces of smoke. They were not happy faces. They were in agony. They were just gray, smoke, round faces. I could see them, like a smoke ring from a cigarette, close up at first but vanishing quickly into the darkness of the vision, holding their form but being overtaken in the dark. As if they were falling quickly, out of site and disappeared into it. They didn’t lose form or dissipate, they just went away. I never seen that again, in any vision since.

The best place to start to pray, I have found, is EWTN. Not only do they have the website to teach you, but also recite it ON TV throughout the day. Here is the link on HOW TO PRAY THE ROSARY. Learn it, pray it, ponder it 🙂

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Not Able To Receive Communion

I originally wrote this on Sunday, October 17, 2010 in a note on my Facebook Account.. I felt the need to place it here for so many discussions regarding Catholic political leaders, subscribing to non-Catholic beliefs, like support for abortion, living in sin, gay marriage, etc.

“Flesh that touches any unclean thing shall not be eaten; it shall be burned with fire. All who are clean may eat flesh, but the person who eats of the flesh of the sacrifice of the Lord’s peace offerings while an uncleanness is on him, that person shall be cut off from his people.” Leviticus 7:19-20

If you want to know how sacred and how precious the gift of Holy Communion is that Our Lord Jesus Christ gave to us, ask someone who can not receive Him at mass, due to their own fault through their own sins.

To be out of communion with the Church, is to be strapped to the whipping post. Each time at mass, to see others go up and be able to receive communion, is a strike by the whip of their own sins. Unlike Our Lord who was free from sin and did not deserve his scourging, it is a scourging brought upon a soul by ones own faults. It is not a permanent scourging but a way of cleansing the soul, the waiting period, the 40 days in the desert, until one is invited to the wedding feast, through penance and obedience to God’s laws.

It is not a jealous state to see others receive Him, but out of love and devotion and “OBEDIENCE” for Him and to Him, knowing that the temple is not yet clean to receive Him. To see other receive Him, although a strike against the one who can not, also fills the one who can not with a deeper sense of hope and love. It is a reminder, that it was our own fault, that caused this state, and to avoid it again at all cost.

If your not in a state of grace, meaning repenting after confessing your mortal sins, please do not receive Him. You can still pray for Him to enter your heart, mind body and soul, SPIRITUALLY through prayer.

My Jesus, I believe that you are present in the most Blessed Sacrament. I love You above all things and I desire to receive You into my soul. Since I cannot now receive You sacramentally, come at least spiritually into my heart. I embrace You as if You have already come, and unite myself wholly to You. Never permit me to be separated from You. Amen.

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The Power Of Forgiveness

Yes, if you forgive others their failings, your heavenly Father will forgive you yours; but if you do not forgive others, your Father will not forgive your failings either.’

How I learned His most important message of forgiveness..

On July 13, 2001, two weeks after I had finally left a man I had been in a fourteen year relationship with, a relationship that was born in the mortal sin of adultery, and ended in me gaining the understanding of what severe emotional abuse was, after I had written to his former wife a letter of apology, along with myself having the strongest desire to enter into the fullness of the Church, and finally start on the path back to Christ, I was raped by a stranger.

I was drugged. I was held against my will. I was raped repeatedly and so savagely that it caused internal damage. For eight hours that day, all I could think of was how no one knew were I was, but God and I was never going to see my family again. I did everything I could to leave a trail of my personal things in his possession. Including a brush with my hair, in case he was caught that would lead someone to my body, so my family wouldn’t have to worry anymore.

I knew he was going to kill me because he said he was. He told me he had a gun and was taking me , in his words, “To a beautiful spot next to a stream, where he was going to rape me and kill me, and dump my body”. The day I had met my attacker, he was due to be sentenced in another county, for viciously beating a woman, who was almost unidentifiable after he got his hands on her. He was homeless, a drug addict and was going back and fourth from living in his truck that had stolen license plates, to living with his parents. Although I did not know this information at the time, looking back, knowing God was with me that day, is more then any other comfort I will ever need.

As the events of my rape were unfolding that day, and they became darker and darker, I thank God for giving me the ability then, to feel the sense of the entire attack as if it was happening to someone else, and I was just outside of my body, watching for his next move, so I could instruct my body as to what to do next, to survive. I knew this person raping me was tormented by many many evil things and they were ripping him to shreds and his only recourse, in his mind, was to take it out on me. It was so obvious and terrifying how his persona would jump from a somewhat sane person, with empathy for me, believing in some twisted way in his own mind that I was his girlfriend, then back to pure despise that I was even human.

In just that way his brain clicked back to me being his “Girlfriend”, he allowed me to leave, him believing completely, he had done nothing wrong. Going so far as to asking me out on a date and telling me, WE were going out again tomorrow. I played along knowing without a doubt, the next day I would die if he had his way. But not only would I die, but my daughter would also. He released me, driving me back to my car, and I then in utter fear of being followed, drove myself to the police station, collapsing in utter disbelief that I was still alive at the front desk. It took everything I had left to regain composure and tell the officer I had been raped.

It was a Friday that my rape occurred, early morning Saturday when he released me around one in the morning and by Sunday night, my attacker was in police custody. After I had participated with police in luring my attacker to a spot they could arrest him.

Sunday afternoon, after attending mass, I spoke with a priest, who just a few months earlier, heard my confession for the first time since I was a child, before the arrest of my attacker, I told him I forgave my attacker. In the squad car with the detective who handled the case, on the way to a judges personal home where a special order needed to be signed for us to capture this man, I told him I forgave my attacker. I was releasing this man spiritually, placing him in the hands of God. That forgiveness I offered to him, did not mean I would not testify against him or not have him arrested. He needed be held accountable for his actions. I could never live with myself if I knew this man hurt another human being because of my lack of action. My forgiveness to him came from my heart. It came from being on that same road in life as my attacker, although not the same personal conditions, and turning away from it.

It took a lot for me to write this, only because I do not think about it in such detail anymore. The fact I forgave him, and placed him in God’s hands, has cleansed my soul so greatly, that I can only think of the souls who did not have to suffer at this mans hands. I think of the woman who was beaten and how now she has some freedom from living in fear of him. I think of and pray for ALL police officers for having to see this every day. And I also pray for my attacker, that someday he may turn back from that road, and run to Christ.

“Forgive them Father, they know not what they do”

The forgiveness I have offered to this man, put into perspective the wrongs I face daily, to me is, that nothing I have faced from others, could ever be unforgivable. My forgiveness now is offered immediately to God, even when they, the people who have hurt me, don’t ask for it or want it. Exactly like Jesus Christ on the cross. Through forgiveness, nothing can hurt. The pain is removed.

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My Sin Is Constantly In Mind

Psalms 51:3-4, 5-6, 12-13, 14, 17

3 For I am well aware of my offences, my sin is constantly in mind.

4 Against you, you alone, I have sinned, I have done what you see to be wrong, that you may show your saving justice when you pass sentence, and your victory may appear when you give judgement,

5 remember, I was born guilty, a sinner from the moment of conception.

6 But you delight in sincerity of heart, and in secret you teach me wisdom.

12 Give me back the joy of your salvation, sustain in me a generous spirit.

13 I shall teach the wicked your paths, and sinners will return to you.

14 Deliver me from bloodshed, God, God of my salvation, and my tongue will acclaim your saving justice.

17 Sacrifice to God is a broken spirit, a broken, contrite heart you never scorn.

Upon hearing today’s Responsorial Psalm, not only am I reminded of every sin I have committed against our Lord, but the amount of repentance that is needed to ensure my Lord is pleased with the changes in my heart. Most of my life had been spent in the state of mortal sin, and as I travel up the path to eternal life, into His arms, I must spend every waking hour I am still here, doing everything now, for Him.HE will not remember the sins I have committed because of the sacrament of confession, but I do. Not to hold on to them for enjoyment, but as a constant reminder of where I was, and now were I am trying to get to.

Before my conversion began, I had this strange idea that even with my mortal sins not repented for completely, He would just forgive me anyway and when I died, in that state, I would just go to heaven anyway. After all, He loved everyone. When I look at who I was, and the life I was leading, only now I can’t help but to be overcome with utter disgust at how I treated our Lord. I look at the person I used to be and think, I would never want that person I was in heaven. I did nothing for Him and everything for self. I took Him for granted.

I think of all the things I have said, thought and done, and not done. How many times I have said “I hate” so and so. How many times I have said so and so needs to die. How many times I have said so and so country should be blown off the map. How many times I have walked past a homeless person and wouldn’t even look them in the eye. Or the ones I never even noticed. Good Lord, have mercy on me. I know not what I do.

When troubles and suffering come into my life now, I know in my heart, they are deserved for reparation to our Lord. I do not despair over them, I embrace them as God’s mercy. He could make my suffering in this world much worse. Deservedly so.

“Now I rejoice in my suffering for your sake, and in my flesh I complete what is lacking in Christ’s afflictions for the sake of His body, that is, the Church….”

The Baltimore Catechism Part 3

Q. 629. What punishments are due to actual sins? A. Two punishments are due to actual sins: one, called the eternal, is inflicted in hell; and the other, called the temporal, is inflicted in this world or in purgatory. The Sacrament of Penance remits or frees us from the eternal punishment and generally only from part of the temporal. Prayer, good works and indulgences in this world and the sufferings of purgatory in the next remit the remainder of the temporal punishment.
Q. 804. Why does God require a temporal punishment as a satisfaction for sin? A. God requires a temporal punishment as a satisfaction for sin to teach us the great evil of sin and to prevent us from falling again.
Q. 805. Which are the chief means by which we satisfy God for the temporal punishment due to sin? A. The chief means by which we satisfy God for the temporal punishment due to sin are: Prayer, Fasting, Almsgiving; all spiritual and corporal works of mercy, and the patient suffering of the ills of life.

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What Is A Conversion Of Heart?

Found a link to the answer to this question, and others that arise during the journey back home…

The Conversion of the Heart to God

Q. What is repentance?
A. Repentance, which is also called penance, is the sincere conversion of the heart from sin to God. To understand this, we must observe, that in sin there are two great evils, which Almighty God himself describes with astonishment in these words, “Be astonished, O ye heavens! at this – for my people have done two evils; they have forsaken me, the fountain of living water, and have digged to themselves cisterns, broken cisterns, that can hold no water,” Jerem. ii. 12. In every mortal sin, there are two enormous evils, to wit, the turning away from God, infinitely good, and the very fountain of goodness and life, and the embracing, in his stead, the monster sin, by the allurement of some deceitful appearance of an imaginary happiness, justly compared to a broken cistern that can hold no water, but only filth. Wherefore repentance, which is the opposite of sin, and the destroyer of sin, must have these two opposite conditions, the turning away from sin with horror, detestation, and sorrow, for having offended so great a God, and the returning back to God, to embrace him by love, and faithfully to obey his holy law.

EDIT TO ADD 2/25/15
The link above is to Catholic Doors and I just found this about them: Website Review: Catholic Doors Ministry

For the answer to the question:
Five Ways to Practice Conversion
FR. ED BROOM, OMV
Be converted, the kingdom of God is at hand.

These are the first world we hear from the lips of Our Blessed Savior as He initiates His Public ministry. Conversion in Greek is Metanoia, meaning change of heart. The core of the teaching of the Precursor of Jesus, St. John the Baptist, was the same, “Be converted because the Kingdom of God is at hand.” Furthermore, St. Peter and the Apostles also preached the call to conversion. Therefore, if the greatest of all prophets, the first Pope, and Jesus Himself preached the urgency of conversion then indeed it must be important!

The Church, the Mystical Body of Christ, reiterates this message in various forms and seasons. At the start of the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, after greeting the people, the priest invites himself and the whole congregation to pause briefly for an examination of conscience. On what? Our communal and personal recognition of sin and humble invocation that God would have mercy on us and help us to undergo metanoia—conversion of life.

Ways that we can undergo a true conversion of life
The following are ways that we can delve deep into our souls and strive for a sincere and deep conversion of life! However, we must always remember that true conversion of life is more God’s work in our souls than our doing! We must collaborate with the grace of the Lord!

1. Memory. Our memory is in need of constant purification. St. Paul exhorts us to put on the mind of Christ; then he says that you have the mind of Christ. Past wounds in our early years, addictions that enslaved, abuses either physical, emotional, social or moral—all of these must be brought to the Lord for a deep healing and conversion. One short but powerful suggestion: THE WORD OF GOD! The Word of God is powerful like a two-edged sword that separates bone from marrow. The daily reading of the Word of God in prayerful meditation can result in the conversion of the mind. One more step: memorize Sacred Scripture! If you like this analogy: what chlorine is and does to a swimming pool (cleansing and purifying) the Word of God can do to the human mind. Lord, may your Word be a light for my path and a torch for my steps!

2. Eyes. Our eyes need constant vigilance and control. Unfortunately, the most powerful addiction in the United States is that of pornography. Children are exposed to this ravenous and merciless wolf at a very tender age. Studies show that pornography can be more powerful than the addiction to drugs. A recovering gang member, drug-addict and alcoholic rejoiced that he was able to conquer all the above vices. However, he could not detach himself from the addiction to pornography. Three suggestions to attain this metanoia/conversion.

At the crack of dawn upon waking, to consecrate one’s whole being— especially the eyes—to the Immaculate Heart of Mary.
Second, when tempted invoke the Precious Blood of Jesus as a shield against the fiery darts of the devil.
Lastly, visit the Blessed Sacrament exposed and contemplate the Eucharistic heart of Jesus. In the words of the Psalmist: “Look to the Lord and be radiant with joy.”
3. Tongue. Our tongue has to be controlled constantly! Saint James reminds us poignantly that we should be slow to speak and quick to listen. Jesus reminds us that every word that issues from our mouth will be subject to judgment. Also the Lord tells us that from the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. Three concrete suggestions to attain conversion of our mouth, a transformation of our speech. First, we should get in the habit of speaking more to God and less to people. Second, we should learn to hold back our impulses and think before we speak. Finally, apply the Golden Rule of Jesus to speech. Do to others what you would have them do to you; say to others what you would like them say to you! Following this advice we are on the highway to converting our tongue!

4. Intentions. Being honest with ourselves we must humble admit that our intentions are often mixed. Even in the best of actions are hidden some self-seeking, self-love and vanity. Sincere examination of conscience will highlight this truth! In the Diary of Saint Faustina, time and time again Jesus manifests His desire that she always have purity of intention, that her actions be done to please Him and for the honor and glory of God. The Bible points out that man sees the appearance but God reads the heart. In the Sermon on the Mount Jesus strictly warns us not to do our actions to be seen and praised by man. Remember! Do your actions such that your right hand does not even know what your left hand is doing. Your father who sees in secret will recompense you.

The motto of St. Ignatius, the founder of the Company of Jesus (the Jesuits) is four letters: A.M.D.G. —Ad Maiorem Dei Gloriam—meaning, for the greater glory of God. That indeed should be the motivating principle that drives all of our actions in life! One concrete suggestion to obtain the conversion/metanoia of our intentions— Give all to Jesus through the hands of Mary. In the classic of St. Louis de Montfort, True Devotion to Mary, St. Louis presents a scene in which a pauper desires to present the King with an apple. The apple is not of the best, nor is the pauper the most worthy of admiration. However there is a secret to access to the heart of the King—the love the King has for his Queen. If the pauper can reach the Queen and give her the apple, then her Highness will take the apple, polish it, place it on a golden platter next to a beautiful flower and present it to the King. Then the King will accept it. Why? Not because of the pauper but because of the powerful and irresistible persuasion of the Queen. If we place our intentions in the Immaculate Heart of Mary then she purifies, embellishes and corrects our distorted motives!

5. Heart. Last but not least we all must go through a daily conversion of the very center of our being— our heart. Jesus says that from the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. The human heart can contain within it the most noble of intentions, but the human heart can also embrace the most despicable of desires! Constant conversion/metanoia of heart is necessary on a daily basis!

What might be the most efficacious means to undergo a true conversion of heart? Simple and to the point: FERVENT AND PASSIONATE DAILY HOLY COMMUNION! In Holy Communion we receive the totality of Jesus: His Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity. Therefore, if we receive His Body, that means we also receive His Sacred Heart. In the most Sacred Heart of Jesus can be found all of the most sublime virtues and to the highest degree of holiness and perfection.

Faith, hope, charity, patience, purity, meekness, obedience, mortification, fortitude— just to mention a few, are some of the virtues present in the Sacred Heart of Jesus. These virtues are present in every Consecrated Host that we can receive in Holy Communion on a daily basis. In a real sense, we can undergo a daily spiritual HEART-TRANSPLANT every time we receive Holy Communion with faith, devotion and love. Beyond a shadow of doubt, Holy Communion received with the proper dispositions is by far the most efficacious channel to arrive at a true conversion of heart. Our Lord’s loving Heart burns and consumes all that is ugly and ignoble in our hearts so that we can truly say with the Apostle Saint Paul: “It is no longer I who live but Christ who lives in me!”

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Finding Christ In Contemporary Music

“Breathe into me Holy Spirit, that all my thoughts may be holy. Move in me, Holy Spirit, that my work, too, may be holy. Attract my heart, Holy Spirit, that I may love only what is holy. Strengthen me, Holy Spirit, that I may defend all that is holy. Protect me, Holy Spirit, that I always may be holy.”

I don’t know when it happened, but I have found life to be so much easier, when I started looking for our Lord everywhere. Before my conversion of heart began, I would never think to listen to music and ponder Jesus. Especially love songs and most all contemporary music. In that world I left behind, my selfishness would drive my thoughts to that of anyone but our Lord in most regards.I would hear a love song and think of who I was dating or wanted to date at the time.It was all about me. Now, it’s all about Him. I never thought to place that song on my lips and ponder of Our Lord singing it to all the souls he loves, or I to Him. To a limit that is. There is a lot of music lyrics out there these days, personally, I would never repeat.

The older love songs haven’t changed and in my thoughts, it all comes back to Him. He is love after all.When you knock, the door opens and its a beautiful place to be. Every love song ever written….

Just one in particular that moves me in such a way…

With you I can see past the lies and greed in this burned out city
With you I can run from the shell-shocked demons dancin’ in my head
You give me strength when my legs are tired
You feed my soul when I’m uninspired

With you I can speak in a voice that rings with love and mercy
With you I can stay no matter where the howlin’ wind of change may blow
I lie in bed and I watch you sleep
There is no dream that I would not keep with you – with you

There is no face that I love as much
There is no dream that I could not touch with you with you with you with you

With you I can love with a heat that defies explanation
With you I can sleep like an infant held up in his mother’s arms
I know you well and you know me too
There’s no hope so lost that it can’t be touched with you

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Ash Wednesday

REPENT!

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Lent

I often ponder “Repentance”. In my heart, I can see its effects, not as a way I hope to be, but as a way I should be right now.

Rend Your Heart Joel 2:12-13

12 “Even now,” declares the LORD,
“return to me with all your heart,
with fasting and weeping and mourning.”
13 Rend your heart
and not your garments.
Return to the LORD your God,
for he is gracious and compassionate,
slow to anger and abounding in love,
and he relents from sending calamity.

Great advice on how important it is, not to give up more, but to do more from Rev. James Martin, S.J. Catholic priest and author, The Jesuit Guide to (Almost) Everything.

Bothering to Love: One Priest’s Modest Proposal for Lent

Here are some great quotes I felt needed to be shared today:

“Are you capable of risking your life for someone? Do it for Christ.”~Venerable Pope John Paul II

“My child, I have need of victims, and strong victims, who by their sufferings, tribulations, and difficulties, make amends for sinners and for their ingratitude.” Saint Gemma Galgani, letters

“Love wants to suffer for the Beloved… Love wants to expiate the sins that have so deeply penetrated mankind. Love wants to make up for the lack of love among those who sin. Love wants to relieve the debt of suffering that sinners owe to God. Love wants to give God what sinners are depriving Him of by their sins.” Servant of God Fr. John Hardon

Whoever wishes to be my follower must deny his very self, take up his cross each day, and follow in my steps. Luke 9:23

To change and to change for the better are two different things. – German proverb

Go and learn what the Scriptures mean when they say, `Instead of offering sacrifices to me, I want you to be merciful to others.’ I didn’t come to invite good people to be my followers. I came to invite sinners. – Matthew 9:13

Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and shun evil. – Proverbs 3:7

God’s kindness leads you toward repentance.-Romans 2:4

Confession is the first step to repentance. English Proverb

If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man’s life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility. – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Ah! if you only knew the peace there is in an accepted sorrow. – Jeanne de la Motte-Guyton

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Beads Of The Sacred Heart

Taken from EWTN

Beads of the Sacred Heart
As there is nothing so ingenious as love, several great saints in their great eagerness to make, each day, numerous acts of their favorite virtues according to the various inspirations of grace, have Invented several kinds of chaplets composed of acts of these virtues. After their example, the beads of the Sacred Heart has been formed. It is composed of five large beads and thirty-three small ones in honor thirty-three years Our Lord spent on earth.
Instead of the Creed the following prayer may be said.
Soul of Jesus Christ, sanctify me.
Heart of Jesus, inflame me with love. Body of Jesus Christ, save me
Blood of Jesus Christ, inebriate me.
Water our of the Side of Christ, wash me.
Passion of Christ, strengthen me.

O good Jesus, hear me. Within Thy Wounds, hide me. Let me not be separated from Thee. Defend me from the malignant enemy. At the hour of death, call me And bid me to come unto Thee That with the Saints, I may praise Thee For all eternity.
Amen.
Before each large bead say:
Jesus most meek, make my heart like unto Thine.
On each large bead say:
We adore Thee, O Jesus, who hast been afflicted in the Garden of Gethsemani and who still in our time art outraged in the Blessed Sacrament by the impious conduct of men. O most amiable Saviour, we recognize that Thou alone art Holy, Thou alone art Lord, Thou alone art Most High.
On each small bead say:
I adore Thee, O most Sacred Heart of Jesus, inflame my heart with the divine love with which Thine Own is all on fire.
At the end of the beads say an Our Father and a Hail Mary, and the following prayer:
O Lord Jesus Christ, who by an ineffable miracle of love, hast deigned to give Thy Heart to men to serve as their nourishment, in order thereby to gain their hearts, graciously hear our humble prayers, and pardon us for the sins of which we confess ourselves guilty before Thee. Cast an eye of compassion and mercy upon those towards whom Thou dost condescend to direct the affections of Thine amiable Heart. And since we desire to honor Thee in the adorable Mystery of the Altar to the utmost of our power and to render Thee most pleasing homage and for that intention, weep for and detest from the bottom of our hearts all the outrages, contempt, mockery, sacrileges, and other acts of impiety which ungrateful men in every part of the world have committed against Thee, enkindle therefore in our hearts this divine love with which Thine Own is inflamed, and inspire us with sentiments like unto Thine, in order that we may be able worthily to praise for all praise for all eternity the love with which this Sacred Heart burns for us. This is our prayer to Thee who livest and reignest with the Father, in unity of the Holy Spirit forever and ever. Amen

Read more here

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True Love – UPDATE

Originally blogged on 3/5/2011

My devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus began at a very young age, and I didn’t even know it. As a matter of fact, I forgot all about it until the Holy Spirit reminded me about it last fall. It was something I had blocked in my memory because of fear. Fear I had been committing a grave sin at a very young age. By falling in love with Him.

Shortly after my first Holy Communion, I received a picture of the Sacred Heart Of Jesus. I honestly do not remember where the photo came from but I think my great uncle, who was a priest, gave it to me, with a rosary and a marble statue with a metal plaque bearing the image of the Last Supper. He had also celebrated the mass for my communion, during my grandparents fiftieth wedding anniversary. No matter how I received it, I fell in love with His face and kept it for some time. No matter what I was doing during the day, hanging out with my friends in front of the house, or doing stuff around the house, I would go into my bedroom and gaze into His eyes, believing if only in my child sized brain, He was my “Boyfriend”. Like more teens & girls do today, with celebrity’s photos. Then walk back to my friends or what ever and pretend to be what “They” wanted me to be. I wasn’t exactly a “Good Kid”. Most everything in my youth, I repent for now. I call it the added weight to my “Cross” I carry back to our Lord. Not the sins, but the pain I know that I caused Him. Keep in mind, I had only fallen in love with His face, not knowing Him through His word and loving Him for what “I THOUGHT” rather than for what I now know Him to be.

One day, as I was looking into His eyes, when I escaped from the world and I could just see His face, I became overcome by guilt and thought, He is God Peg.. Who are you to call Him a “boyfriend”. So I asked someone. An adult, who told me no. I knew in my heart He was with me. I felt him throughout my entire body. I could hear Him saying in my heart “You are far to young, one day I will come to you”. My stupidity and pride blocked these words leading me on a path that not many return from. I got rid of the picture of the Sacred Heart of our Lord that I had fallen in love with, believing I was not good enough, with much angst and started to become, what the world wanted me to be. I was an angry child after that. Nothing could make me happy. I remember giving the picture to my mother and telling her to keep it, thinking He couldn’t love me. I ran away from Him, like the naked man in the garden, the night before His execution, disobedient to everything, heading into the world, without my “Sheet”. Afraid to stay when He needed me to learn, and grow up in my faith. My love for Him, was not perfect yet. I did not love Him fully.I’m not making excuses, there is no excuse. Only my repenting.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.” 1 Corinthians 13:4

I was impatient, I was mean to others, I envied anything and anyone better than me, I boasted and lied to make myself look better and I allowed my pride to get the better of my faith in Him. Worst of all, I did these things, knowing He was still with me. When I did these dreadful things, I could hear Him telling me NO until one day, I could only hear myself, becoming deaf to Our Lord. Thus, moving forward to committing the ugliest mortal sins, that only He can scrub clean from my soul, through my sorrow and repenting. Repenting does not mean to just say your sorry, it means to change your entire way you are living, and live through Him and not just lip service.

Being on the path back to Him, I have found, true love and see that love growing stronger and stronger. An unbreakable Love. Love for everything He is. Love for His word, His forgiveness and His church. Through His church, I can touch, taste, hear and see Him. As that love began to build, slowly I was able to see Him in total strangers. It has been a very slow process, but one in which I am so grateful. It was only this past year, that I discovered again, the photo of the Sacred Heart of Jesus, in which I loved as a child and now love with every fiber of my being, fully and maturely, not based on what He “Looks Like”, but how He is.

Edit to add: July 1, 2014

So much has taken place since this post, since the day I walked away from our Lord at that young age to now in how He has done so much to get me back home.. Yesterday, all I could think of was our Lord and how all I wanted to do was attend Holy Mass. I got home from work, and was listening to music, pondering… The time for Mass was getting closer and a song started to play. One I had not heard in many years and never truly listed to the lyrics. I did yesterday. My heart burst when I understood the lyrics and that particular time in my life I had walked away from Him, because I did not know how to love. Bringing me back to yesterday, and how He not only taught me how to Love Him, but to understand He will never leave me.. Keep in mind, you have to read my entire blog to understand how long it has taken to get back home…

I ran all the way “Home”, and the door was open, waiting for me..
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This is the song:

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Other Prayers To The Sacred Heart Of Jesus

Act of Reparation to the Sacred Heart of Jesus

O Jesus, divine Savior, deign to cast a look of mercy upon Your children, who assemble in the same spirit of faith, reparation, and love, and come to deplore their own infidelities, and those of all poor sinners, their brethren.
May we touch Your divine Heart by the unanimous and solemn promises we are about to make and obtain mercy for ourselves, for the world, and for all who are so unhappy as not to love You. We all promise that for the future:
For the forgetfulness and ingratitude of men, *(We will console you O Lord)
For the way You are deserted in Your holy tabernacle,
For the crimes of sinners,
For the hatred of the impious,
For the blasphemies uttered against You,
For the sacrileges that profane Your Sacrament of Love,
For the outrages against Your divinity,
For the injuries of which You are the adorable Victim,
For the coldness of the greater part of your children,
For the contempt of your loving invitation,
For the infidelity of those who called themselves Your friends,
For the abuse of Your grace,
For our own unfaithfulness,
For the incomprehensible hardness of our hearts,
For our long delay in loving You,
For our tepidity in Your holy service,
For Your bitter sadness at the loss of souls,
For Your long waiting at the door of our hearts,
For the heartless scorn that grieves You,
For Your loving sighs,
For Your loving tears,
For Your loving imprisonment,
For Your loving death,

* We will console you, 0 Lord
Let us pray

0 Jesus! divine Savior, from whose Heart comes forth this bitter complaint, “I looked for one that would comfort me, and I found none,” graciously accept the feeble consolation we offer You, and aid us so powerfully by your grace, that we may, for the time to come, shun more and more all that can displease You, and prove ourselves in everything, and everywhere, and forever Your most faithful and devoted servants. We ask it through Your Sacred Heart, O Lord, who live and reign with the Father and the Holy Spirit one God, world without end. Amen.

Traditional Prayer of Reparation

Most loving Jesus, when I consider your tender heart and see it full of mercy and tenderness toward sinners, my own heart is filled with joy and confidence that I shall be so kindly welcomed by You. Unfortunately, how many times have I sinned! But now, with Peter and with Magdalene, I weep for my sins and detest them because they offend You, infinite Goodness. Mercifully grant me pardon for them all; and let me die rather than offend You again; at least let me live only to love You in return. Amen. (Raccolta n. 255)
Traditional Prayer of Reparation

My loving Jesus, out of the grateful love I bear you, and to make reparation for my unfaithfulness to grace, I give You my heart, and I consecrate myself wholly to You; and with Your help I purpose to sin no more. Amen. (Raccolta, n. 260)

Traditional Prayer of Reparation from the Irish

Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on me.
O God, forgive me for all the sins of my life;
The sins of my youth and the sins of my age,
The sins of my body and the sins of my soul,
The sins I have confessed and the sins I have forgotten,
The sins against others in thought, word, and deed,
My sins of omission.
0, my God, I am sorry for all my sins, because you are so good;
And I will not sin again with the help of God.
God be merciful to me, a sinner.
Divine Heart of Jesus, convert sinners, save the dying,
Deliver the holy souls in purgatory.

Contemporary Prayer of Reparation

Lord Jesus, who loves us so much: we have not loved You as we easily might have, nor served You enough in our neighbor as we could have. We are truly sorry for this unfaithful love and promise to do better in the future. Because You accept everything that we do in God’s grace, when done in a spirit of love and obedience, as reparation, we now offer You and Your Heart our every thought, word, deed, and suffering in union with Your own sufferings. Join our Reparation to that which You ceaselessly offer to the Father in the Mass and in the silence of the tabernacle. Help us to suffer lovingly and to aid those who suffer. Make Your redemptive love fruitful in the hearts of all those who will die today, so that all of us may love You for ever in heaven. Amen.

Daily Prayer to the Sacred Heart

0 Sacred Heart of Jesus, mercifully accept the prayer which I now make to You for help in the moment of my death, when at its approach all my senses shall fail me.
When, therefore, 0 kind and merciful Jesus, my weary and downcast eyes can no longer look up to You, be mindful of the loving gaze which I now turn to You, and have mercy on me, a sinner.
When my parched lips can no longer kiss your most sacred wounds, remember that hour those kisses which I now imprint on You, and have mercy on me, a sinner.
When my cold hands can no longer embrace Your cross, forget not the affection with which I embrace it now, and have mercy upon me, a sinner. When my swollen and lifeless tongue can no longer speak, remember that I called upon You now, Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, to you I commend my soul.
0 Sacred Heart of Jesus, filled with infinite love, broken by my ingratitude and pierced by my many sins and yet loving you still, accept this act of consecration that I make to You of all that I am and all that I have. Take every faculty of my soul and body, draw me day by day near and nearer to Your Sacred Heart, and there, as I can bear the lesson, teach me Your blessed way.
0 Sacred Heart of Jesus, Incarnate Son of God, who for our salvation did vouchsafe to be born in a stable, to pass Your life in poverty, trials, and misery, and to die amid the sufferings of the cross, I entreat You, in the hour of my death to say to Your divine Father, “Father forgive Him”; Say to my soul, “This day you to shall be with me in Paradise.” My God, my God forsake me not in that hour. “I thirst”-truly, my God, my soul thirsts after You, who are the fountain of living waters. My life passes like a shadow; yet a little while and all will be consummated. Wherefore, my adorable Savior from this moment, and for all eternity, “into your hands I commend my spirit.” Lord Jesus, receive my soul.
O Queen of the Holy Rosary and most kind and loving Mother of Perpetual Help, in memory of your Seven Sorrows, intercede for us with your divine Son and beg Him, in honor of His precious blood and sacred passion and death upon the cross, to forgive our sins and grant us the grace of a holy and happy death. Amen. (Say one Our Father, Hail Mary, and Glory Be.)

Prayer for the Forgiveness of Daily Neglects

Eternal Father, I offer the Sacred Heart of Jesus with all its love, all its sufferings of and all its merits:
First-To expiate all the sins I have committed this day and during all my life. (Glory Be)
Second-To purify the good I have done badly this day and during all my life. (Glory Be.)
Third-To supply for the good I ought to have done and I have neglected this day and during all my life. (Glory Be.)

0 Sacred Heart of Jesus,
I Place My Trust in Thee

O Sacred Heart of Jesus, I place my trust in Thee,
Whatever may befall me, Lord, though dark the hour may be;
In all my woes, in all my joys, though nought but grief I see,
O Sacred Heart of Jesus, I place my trust in Thee.
When those I loved have passed away, and I am sore distressed,
0 Sacred Heart of Jesus, I fly toThee for rest.
In all my trials, great or small, my confidence shall be
Unshaken as I cry, dear Lord, I place my trust in Thee.
This is my one sweet prayer, dear Lord, my faith, my trust, my love,
But most of all in that last hour, when death points up above,
O sweet Savior, may Thy face smile on my soul all free.
Oh may I cry with rapturous love, I’ve placed my trust inThee.

Offerings

0 Sacred Heart of my savior, I offer you this action (or suffering) for all the intentions for which You offer Yourself at this moment upon the altar to God Your Father.
0 Jesus, who immolates Yourself at this moment upon the altar for the salvation of the whole world, I unite myself to You and (this sacrifice, this sorrow, this cross) to Your holy sacrifice, so that it may glorify Your Father, and be availing for the salvation of the world.
Let us go and die with Him. Let us lay down at least that portion of our life which He demands of us: some selfish interest, some frivolous pleasure, some perverse inclination, and let us unite this slight sacrifice to the loving immolation of our Jesus mystically dying upon the Eucharistic altar at the very moment we are making our sacrifice, and helping us to make it lovingly.
0 Jesus, immolating Yourself at this moment upon the altar, make us love you more and more.
O Jesus, who immolates Yourself at this moment for the salvation of the whole world, inflame the whole world with the fire of Your love.

Prayer to the Sacred Heart for Priests

Remember, 0 most loving Heart of Jesus, that they for whom I pray are those for whom You prayed so earnestly the night before Your death. These are they to whom You look to continue with You in Your sorrows when others forsake You, who share Your griefs and have inherited your persecutions, according to Your word: That the servant is not greater than his Lord. Remember, O Heart of Jesus, that they are the objects of the world’s hatred and Satan’s deadliest snares. Keep them then, 0 Jesus, in the safe citadel of Your Sacred Heart and there let them be sanctified in truth. May they be one with you and one among themselves, and grant that multitudes may be brought through their word to believe in You and love You.

Prayer to the Eternal Father

0 eternal Father, through the divine Heart of Jesus, I adore You for all those adore you not; I love You for all those who do not love you. I go in spirit through the whole world to seek for souls redeemed by the blood of Jesus. I embrace them in order to present them to You in His Sacred Heart, and in union with your merciful Heart, I ask for their conversion.
Bl. Marie de l’Incarnation
Jesus is the only true friend of our hearts.
St. Margaret Mary

Prayer before an Image or Picture of the Sacred Heart

O Sacred Heart of Jesus, pour out Your benedictions upon the Holy Church, upon its priests, and upon all its children. Sustain the just, convert the sinners, assist the dying, deliver the souls in purgatory, and extend over all hearts the sweet empire of Your love. Amen.

Prayer To Obtain a Conversion or Any Spiritual Favor

Lord, all hearts are in Your hands; You can bend as You will the most stubborn, and soften the most obdurate. Do that honor this day to the precious blood, the merits, the sacred wounds, the holy name, and loving Heart of Your beloved Son, of granting a conversion of N.N. (or of bestowing such a grace, etc..).

Short Litany of Aspirations

May I prove to You my love, O heart of Jesus, by a spirit of self-sacrifice for your interests.
May I cheerfully make every sacrifice You demand of me, 0 heart of my Jesus.
May the sacrifices You ask of me glorify You, *
May each sacrifice made forYour love draw me nearer to You,
By increasing in the spirit of self-sacrifice, may I become more like You.
May the sacrifices I make be agreeable to You,
May each sacrifice win one soul to You,
May each sacrifice prevent one mortal sin,
May each sacrifice earn a special grace for some soul,
May each sacrifice merit a holy death for some soul,
May each sacrifice relieve a soul in purgatory,
May each sacrifice ascend as a prayer to You,
May each sacrifice be as a hymn of praise to You,
May Your Holy Spirit instruct me more and more in the spirit of self-sacrifice,
May the spirit of self-sacrifice increase in our family,
May the same spirit be propagated throughout the whole Church, 0 Heart of my Jesus,
And may it hasten the Church’s triumph.

O Lanb of God, sacrificed for us, give us a spirit of self-sacrifice.

O Lamb of God, daily immolating Yourself upon the altar for us, give us grace to immolate our wills for Your sake.
O Lamb of God, dying for us, give us grace to die to all that wounds your Sacred Heart.
* O Heart of My Jesus
Prayer

O Lord Jesus Christ, whose whole life was one continual sacrifice for the glory of Your Father and the salvation of our souls, grant us the grace to find our joy in making sacrifices for You and for the interests of Your Sacred Heart. Amen.

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