Monthly Archives: April 2011

My Husbands Stripes

I don’t remember where I was but traveling the road with Mark, my husband. He wanted to get a new window cling at the exchange because, his words, he worked so hard for his stripes. Granted, he served 23.5 years in the US Marines. He did work hard for them.

I immediately thought of my true spouse, Our Lord Jesus Christ. The “Bridegroom”. How He had earned His “stripes” through a scourging. It just didn’t equal and never can.

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Feed My Ducks

After Mass this morning, I took Sister Soledad to Home Depot and then to Rite Aid. My husband took our girls to the Padres game and gave me the day to think. I took a ride to an old fishing hole. It used to be a water reclamation area now turned into a recreation park, with 7 lakes. I packed my Shakespeare rod, purchased some worms and took my packed lunch. Turkey & cheese on pita bread. I walked to a picnic bench and sat down next to the water. There was a mommy duck with 9 brand new baby’s. Something told me to buy duck food while I was at the bait shop and I did. The mommy & baby’s were fed well with the cracked corn.

I prayed to our LORD Jesus Christ deeply.

I sat for a moment watching the beauty of God’s creation, eating my lunch and praying. As I looked around I noticed the park I had known for some time, had changed. The islands in the middle of the lake that used to be tropical were cut down. The palms were replaced with new trees. Almost sanitized and dry. On the bank of one of the islands, was a turtle that seems to be waving his flipper.

I prayed more intently and a flock of ducks came out of the water. Quacking up a storm. I heard that voice in my heart say, feed my ducks. I shared my lunch with some of them, then took a little walk. I walked to the bank and I took the worms I had purchased and tossed them into the water. Just before I did, I seen a big fish. I never tossed a line in, just the worms. Then I walked back to my car, packed it up and went to see our LORD in adoration.

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Quiet Children

“The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom; all who follow his precepts have good understanding. To him belongs eternal praise.” Psalm 111:10

On October 8, 2010, I attended the most beautiful Mass I had seen, in quite some time. It was 9:00 AM on a Friday and it happened to be the children Mass at my daughters school. As I entered there were children practicing their singing at the altar. They listened intently to their teacher. Sitting in the pews, were very patient little ones who did not make a peep. You could hear a pin drop. It wasn’t social time, it was time to pray.

The only sound before Mass, after the children finished singing, was the running water in the Baptismal font. There was reverence for our LORD. Not one prayer kneeler was dropped, not a cough was heard, nor a sneeze. It was the perfect Mass and the pews were filled with children. The Awe for our LORD was stunning.

The contrast
I attended Mass yesterday morning at 6 AM. The problem is, Mass did not begin until 6:30. I had a half an hour to pray before breakfast with my LORD. No problem there! I live for the time I get to spend with Him. As I sat in the pew and started taking in my surroundings, trying to focus on what my LORD needed me to focus on, I was abruptly interrupted by constant chatter, then out of no where, two women began praying the rosary out loud at the top of their lungs. I don’t have a problem at all with praying the Rosary. I do however, believe our LORD comes first. Time spent in quiet prayer and contemplation of what we need to present to our Lord before Mass is essential. It “Cleanses the palate” before the feast! Also, a quite conversation before the day begins with the “Spouse”, sets the tone for the rest of the day.

As I sat trying to focus on our LORD, the prayer kneelers began to fall hard. Several women began to speak loudly to people just getting to Mass, what song would be sung. You could hear the aggravation in their voices and unhappiness to the announcement of the song. As to the one who made the announcement of the song to be sung, it was HER choice! And no one was going to change her mind! Obviously, some didn’t like the pick. It was continual disruption, for the half hour I had with Him.

Just before Mass begun, Father came out to inspect the altar. He was not happy. Someone blew out the Easter candle and it was unlit. Father informed all in attendance why he was not happy after mass, in regards to the candle. It is EASTER WEEK. How soon some forget.

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Be Still

“Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”

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Math Of Faith

X + P = ❤

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Do Not Be Afraid

“Then Jesus said to them, ‘Do not be afraid; go and tell my brothers that they must leave for Galilee; they will see me there.”

Ever ponder what it must have been like to SEE our LORD risen with the women and the apostles? Notice how it always takes them a few moments to pick up on “Who” they are seeing? The TRUE followers, the LOVES know their LORD. He opens their eyes to see Him because the EYES are the gateway to the SOUL. They know Him and He knows them. You can see it in the eyes. This is how I am able to “See” Him today. Its possessing a sense unlike any other. But it is not just a sensation that they can see Him. He is truly there.

“I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me” John 10:14

EDIT TO ADD:

I just returned from this BEAUTIFUL Easter Monday Mass. A better way to put what I had stated above is in this way:

Every time our LORD fell on the road to Calvary, He fell in LOVE.

The way His “Sheep” know Him is like taking a page from “The Princess and the Pea”. She could not sleep, because something as small as a pea, distracted her. She didn’t know what it was, but knew it was there to keep her awake.

Thank you LORD Jesus Christ, for all the “flowers”

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Disfigured By Sin

Imagine if every soul on earth could see what they looked like full of sin. No make up in this world could cover up the scars. Only Christ can through a conversion of heart to Him.

Last nights reading, one of my favorites….
Disfigured by sin…

Isaiah 52:13-53:12

See, my servant will prosper,
he shall be lifted up, exalted, rise to great heights.
As the crowds were appalled on seeing him
– so disfigured did he look
that he seemed no longer human –
so will the crowds be astonished at him,
and kings stand speechless before him;
for they shall see something never told
and witness something never heard before:
‘Who could believe what we have heard,
and to whom has the power of the Lord been revealed?’

Like a sapling he grew up in front of us,
like a root in arid ground.
Without beauty, without majesty we saw him,
no looks to attract our eyes;
a thing despised and rejected by men,
a man of sorrows and familiar with suffering,
a man to make people screen their faces;
he was despised and we took no account of him.

And yet ours were the sufferings he bore,
ours the sorrows he carried.
But we, we thought of him as someone punished,
struck by God, and brought low.
Yet he was pierced through for our faults,
crushed for our sins.
On him lies a punishment that brings us peace,
and through his wounds we are healed.

We had all gone astray like sheep,
each taking his own way,
and the Lord burdened him
with the sins of all of us.
Harshly dealt with, he bore it humbly,
he never opened his mouth,
like a lamb that is led to the slaughter-house,
like a sheep that is dumb before its shearers
never opening its mouth.

By force and by law he was taken;
would anyone plead his cause?
Yes, he was torn away from the land of the living;
for our faults struck down in death.
They gave him a grave with the wicked,
a tomb with the rich,
though he had done no wrong
and there had been no perjury in his mouth.

The Lord has been pleased to crush him with suffering.
If he offers his life in atonement,
he shall see his heirs, he shall have a long life
and through him what the Lord wishes will be done.

His soul’s anguish over
he shall see the light and be content.
By his sufferings shall my servant justify many,
taking their faults on himself.

Hence I will grant whole hordes for his tribute,
he shall divide the spoil with the mighty,
for surrendering himself to death
and letting himself be taken for a sinner,
while he was bearing the faults of many
and praying all the time for sinners.

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In The Quiet

“And he that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things new.”

Beauty From Pain

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“Follow Me”

“Follow Me”

“Then Jesus said to his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.” Matthew 16:24

Its an order, not a suggestion for salvation. Pick up your cross and follow Him. He is the road map to salvation. He is the road. He is the way and the truth and the light. He is Jesus Christ. He is the only way to the Father. He is life.

In order to defeat evil, Christ shows us the way. The battle of good VS evil is a “Civil War” of good & evil in each individual soul that needs to be won for the common good of all humanity and can be because of the Resurrection of Jesus Christ. It is a “Civil War” in each soul that makes itself known in our actions towards one another. If you love sin and the evil inside how can you love one another as He so loves us? The battle is raging inside and is need of attention because its spilling onto the streets of society.

The war is not with your “neighbor” but yourself.

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With A Loud Cry, Jesus Breathed His Last

“At that moment the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. The earth shook and the rocks split.” Matthew 27:51

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No Soul Left Behind

Since I could not attend adoration yesterday morning, I found myself in the prayer labyrinth. Before I started my prayer walk, I went over to the grotto where our statue of Bernette is with Our Lady of Lourdes. I prayed to her and told her I had fallen madly in love with her Son. We ended up having a very long conversation. I smiled and walked to where the start of the labyrinth was and on my way, I found blessed palms laying on the ground. They were intertwined with one another and someone spent time to do so. I picked them up as I could never leave them just laying on the ground. They were with me my entire journey. As I got to the center of the labyrinth, I knelt down and began to pray. As I did, I noticed another blessed palm, tucked into one of the lamps, out of normal sight. I left it there and finished my prayers.

While attending the Mass of the Lords Supper, I remembered the blessed palm that needed help. I was filled with an overwhelming desire to not leave that palm behind in the elements. It had been blessed and did not belong anywhere but in a place of honor.

After mass & a brief adoration, I walked outside and it was quite dark. There were many people around as mass had just concluded. Some watched as I walked to the center of the labyrinth which was unlit. I knelt down and felt around under the lamp in which I had seen the palm. I could not see but managed to take hold of it and was so happy I had found it. I couldn’t help but look up to the sky and smile as I said, “Like a thief in the night”. No one knew what I was doing and how important it was for me not to leave that palm behind. Like the Chrism used at baptism, that leaves the mark of the LORD on each soul indefinitely, identifying us as His, was the way I seen this palm. It had become lost and belonged to our Lord. That drive I had in me to get it, is the same drive our Lord has to go get His souls when they become lost. Or, “No soul left behind”.

Mark 13:2 “And Jesus answering said unto him, Seest thou these great buildings? there shall not be left one stone upon another, that shall not be thrown down.”

“turn your ear to me, make haste. Be for me a rock-fastness, a fortified citadel to save me.”

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Humility

Our own pride discourages Him from washing our feet. Once our pride is gone, He can do His best work.

John 13:1-15

It was before the festival of the Passover, and Jesus knew that the hour had come for him to pass from this world to the Father. He had always loved those who were his in the world, but now he showed how perfect his love was.
They were at supper, and the devil had already put it into the mind of Judas Iscariot son of Simon, to betray him. Jesus knew that the Father had put everything into his hands, and that he had come from God and was returning to God, and he got up from table, removed his outer garment and, taking a towel, wrapped it round his waist; he then poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples’ feet and to wipe them with the towel he was wearing. He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, ‘Lord, are you going to wash my feet?’ Jesus answered, ‘At the moment you do not know what I am doing, but later you will understand.’ ‘Never!’ said Peter ‘You shall never wash my feet.’ Jesus replied, ‘If I do not wash you, you can have nothing in common with me.’ ‘Then, Lord,’ said Simon Peter ‘not only my feet, but my hands and my head as well!’ Jesus said, ‘No one who has taken a bath needs washing, he is clean all over. You too are clean, though not all of you are.’ He knew who was going to betray him, that was why he said, ‘though not all of you are.’
When he had washed their feet and put on his clothes again he went back to the table. ‘Do you understand’ he said ‘what I have done to you? You call me Master and Lord, and rightly; so I am. If I, then, the Lord and Master, have washed your feet, you should wash each other’s feet. I have given you an example so that you may copy what I have done to you.’

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The Elephants Trunk

“There is a Hindu story comparing the mind to the trunk of an elephant – restless, inquisitive, always straying. In India, elephants are sometimes taken in religious processions through the streets to the temple. The streets are crooked and narrow, lined on either side with fruit and vegetable stalls. Along comes the elephant with his restless trunk, and in one sinuous motion, he grabs a whole bunch of bananas. He opens his cavernous mouth, and tosses the bananas in – stalk and all. From the next stall he picks up a coconut and tosses it in after the bananas. No threats or promises can make this restless trunk settle down. But the wise elephant trainer will give that trunk a short bamboo stick to hold. Then the elephant will walk along proudly, holding the bamboo stick in front like a drum major with a baton. He doesn’t steal bananas and coconuts now, because his trunk has something to hold onto.”

Over last weekend, I spent the morning after mass on Saturday, in front of an abortion clinic on Miramar Road, praying with a group of 50 or so others. The decision to go and do this was a hard one. I had always wanted to but had in the past, blocked myself from participating because I would often feel like a hypocrite. I went and it was the most uplifting experience I had ever participated in. I had confessed my sin many years ago and only now have forgiven myself. I had always felt that I had so much to offer in regard to praying with so much love but that “Elephant” would always be in the room to point out my shortcomings. As I pulled up in front of this clinic and parked my car, walking to greet the others, I noticed to the left of the abortion clinic a store named “The Elephants Trunk”. I smiled when I noticed it. I confessed that years ago & focused more on the prayers that were needed for souls about to make the same deadly mistake I had years before. If only the women walking into this place understood the significance of that store just a few doors down, the decision would already have been made to keep their child.

“6 Then answered the LORD unto Job out of the whirlwind, and said,
7 Gird up thy loins now like a man: I will demand of thee, and declare thou unto me.
8 Wilt thou also disannul my judgment? wilt thou condemn me, that thou mayest be righteous?
9 Hast thou an arm like God? or canst thou thunder with a voice like him?
10 Deck thyself now with majesty and excellency; and array thyself with glory and beauty.
11 Cast abroad the rage of thy wrath: and behold every one that is proud, and abase him.
12 Look on every one that is proud, and bring him low; and tread down the wicked in their place.
13 Hide them in the dust together; and bind their faces in secret.
14 Then will I also confess unto thee that thine own right hand can save thee. 15 Behold now behemoth, which I made with thee; he eateth grass as an ox.
16 Lo now, his strength is in his loins, and his force is in the navel of his belly.
17 He moveth his tail like a cedar: the sinews of his stones are wrapped together.
18 His bones are as strong pieces of brass; his bones are like bars of iron.
19 He is the chief of the ways of God: he that made him can make his sword to
approach unto him.”
20 Surely the mountains bring him forth food, where all the beasts of the field play.
21 He lieth under the shady trees, in the covert of the reed, and fens.
22 The shady trees cover him with their shadow; the willows of the brook compass him about.
23 Behold, he drinketh up a river, and hasteth not: he trusteth that he can
draw up Jordan into his mouth.
24 He taketh it with his eyes: his nose pierceth through snares.” Job 40 6-24

I think of the “Elephant” as our Lord. Through the Holy Spirit, knocking over our guilt and making it more apparent and less likely to be hidden from our own eyes. Until we address the underlying problem, and fix it, how can we even attempt to fix others? Ensure that “Stick” is always in the elephants trunk. Meaning, keep yourself clean and avoid sinful behavior or that “Elephant” will never let you rest.

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Empty Tabernacle

As I attended Mass this morning, I quickly discovered, today would be the last day until Sunday to See my Lord in Adoration. All the Eucharist were distributed at the end of Mass and I was blessed to receive Him four times! Although my cup runneth over, I can not run to Him for He is not there…. It was the kiss good by but not forever. Until the day of Glory is at hand… after the passion. I just returned from mass, and I already miss Him.

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A Slow Walk Through Purgatory

I just broke into tears because I read something that I have been going through since 1998. I have NEVER been able to place it into this paragraph that has capture the essence of it all.

From the article: All Sin Is Disgusting

“If you want a truly Lenten experience, then pray earnestly that the Holy Spirit will reveal to you the damage that your sins have done. And then hold onto your butts, because it’s going to be a horrible ride. Don’t forget to pray for hope and healing at the same time, nothing hurts more than looking your own guilt in the face.”

It is a horrible ride. A very SLOW walk through purgatory. The ONLY THING that has kept my sanity throughout my entire experience is KNOWING it is REAL and so builds my faith and LOVE for Christ and I can only hold onto the mercy of God and pray continually.

Every second I am alive is spent in constant repentance leaving self behind, thinking only of others.

EDIT TO ADD:

It truly is: “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?” A blessing in disguise

At least while I am here, I get reprieve! I can SEE His grace at work. I can see it in the Church! I can see Him in EVERYTHING! When the reprieves come, its a beautiful peace. Its a constant ride that doesn’t end until He says “It is finished”.

From the agony in the Garden: “”My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death,” he said to them. “Stay here and keep watch.” Mark 14:34

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A Fishing Lure

Who ever said He only calls me at midnight wasn’t kidding. Usually He lets me sleep until way after Two AM. In this case, He is “The Friend At Midnight

As I was woken up, I was compelled to write this. Mind you it is still just 1:30 AM.

A day or so ago, while in deep prayer, I heard that little voice inside ask, What kind of instrument would you be? It was reverting back to a LONG time ago, before I knew what that was. And to be honest, I had to chuckle a bit, because back in the day before my conversion began, the answer I would have given and have, would be make me a drum.

As I look back through the pages to where I am now, that little voice waking me this morning put the pieces together and the Fisherman’s lure seems to be the answer.

“Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will make you fishers of men.” Matthew 4:19

He created this lure. Hammering it until its just right. Bending it into place. He placed His treble hook in her and tied His line to her. He cast her to the furthest reaches of the abyss. She drifted where every type of sin took a bite from her and the waters were filth of mortal sin. After time, He reeled her back in, slowly. Bring her back to be cleaned off, then placed back into the tackle box. Its not the lures job to know the amount of fish caught, for only the Fisherman knows that.

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Thoughts Of Our Holy Mother

I am overwhelmed by the thought of our Holy Mother, not only at the foot of her Son’s cross, but knowing about the scourging taking place. Seeing Him carry that heavy cross. Knowing He was on the route to death, before the revelation of the Glory.

My God, did I do this to my son, simply by saying yes.

I assume she could not know of the events, even being asked beforehand by the Archangel Gabriel, until seconds after they were taking place. As she kept everything in her heart. I can only see the burden of her yes, resting so heavenly on her Immaculate heart, that it could only want to break.

Sister Lisa has a WONDERFUL post over at her blog, that should be read and pondered. Passion of Christ and Mary’s Role

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Love God First

“He answered: Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and,’Love your neighbor as yourself.'” Luke 10:27

How do you LOVE what you can not see? Easy. You can see Him. God takes the ordinary things of this world and makes them holy. He works through material things to show Himself to the world and to bring people back to Himself. Not only that, “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.” Genesis 1:27

So how do we love God first? First I have to suggest, get to know Him. Find out who He Is! He is not your buddy. Hes not a Republican, Democrat, Liberal, Conservative, Home Boy, Community Organizer etc. He is God, “I am who am”! Second, we reject, or place our wants last. We place His “Wants” first. Therefor our “Needs” become clearer. Does God want us to do what makes us happy? Or does God want us to do what makes Him happy? He wants us to do what makes Him happy first and by doing so, we become happy by living in freedom from sin. There is no greater happiness or peace! We become obedient to Him and not to self. We in time, walk away from the sins that blinded us into “Thinking” we were in the right for committing them or “Justifying” our sins for our own benefit. Sins then appear before they can be committed and thus the trap can not catch us and we learn to avoid them.

As for loving our neighbor? In Everything you do, do it for God. When you hug your children, act as if you are hugging God. When you speak to others, act as if you are speaking to God. When you are cooking a meal, act as if you are cooking for God. When you are driving to work, act as if every person driving along side of you is God. And when they “Get on your nerves”? KNOW this to be a test from God. Treat them with love and kindness ANYWAY. LOVE them anyway! Toss away the temptation to treat them, ALL of them in any unkind way.

““The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’” Matthew 25:40

Don’t worship them! Worship God and the rest will fall into place. Know they are sinners just as we all are, but they have a soul created by God, in His image.

By doing this, it will build up strength to apply MORE to the love you have for God. Or, build the love you have for him. Just like exercise for the body takes time for results, so do spiritual exorcises and once you stop, it all goes back to where you were before. It builds the souls Fortitude: mental and emotional strength in facing difficulty, adversity, danger, or temptation courageously. Grow in humility by destroying all worthless pride.

Practice the beatitudes, then perfect them.

“The Beatitudes depict the countenance of Jesus Christ and portray His charity.” —Catechism of the Catholic Church, (CCC) 1717

The Beatitudes “are the paradoxical promises that sustain hope in the midst of tribulation.” —CCC, 1717

“The Beatitudes reveal the goal of human existence, the ultimate end of human acts.” —CCC, 1719

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Take Me Home To Him Elijah

Take me home To Our Lord Elijah
Take me to His LOVE, my Beloved
Take me to His Mansion
Take me to my room
The room He me made for me

Take me to my Father, Abba
Take me to His Mercy
Lead the way Elijah
Hold my hand and never let go

Permit me LOVE with Joy and Hope
My sisters made in Thee O Lord Jesus Christ
As you open the door on which I knock
To see Your face and know Your grace
Is with me evermore

Take me home Elijah
Lead the way to Him who Is
For I am only sorrowful
In need of Mercy from Thee

Place me where you need me Lord
My Hope is your Love embrace
In Thine hand away from harm
Where death no longer trumps

For you alone are Holy Lord
You alone are God
Most Holy Spirit be my guide
Through PEACE for evermore

Just part of what I needed to say from an earlier post – read here

1 Corinthians 2

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Palm Sunday: Hosanna!


Oh to only be a palm fron that day Our Lord entered Jerusalem, placed at His feet, comforting His entry..

“When they drew near Jerusalem and came to Bethphage on the Mount of Olives, Jesus sent two disciples, saying to them, “Go into the village opposite you, and immediately you will find an ass tethered, and a colt with her. 3 Untie them and bring them here to me. And if anyone should say anything to you, reply, ‘The master has need of them.’ Then he will send them at once.”

This happened so that what had been spoken through the prophet might be fulfilled:
“Say to daughter Zion, ‘Behold, your king comes to you, meek and riding on an ass, and on a colt, the foal of a beast of burden.'” The disciples went and did as Jesus had ordered them. They brought the ass and the colt and laid their cloaks over them, and he sat upon them. The very large crowd spread their cloaks on the road, while others cut branches from the trees and strewed them on the road.

The crowds preceding him and those following kept crying out and saying: “Hosanna to the Son of David; blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord; hosanna in the highest.” And when he entered Jerusalem the whole city was shaken 8 and asked, “Who is this?”

And the crowds replied, “This is Jesus the prophet, from Nazareth in Galilee.” Matt 21 1-11

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My Place Of Refuge

“Yahweh is my rock and my fortress, my deliverer is my God. I take refuge in him, my rock, my shield, my saving strength, my stronghold, my place of refuge” Psalms – Chapter 18 2

I no longer exist. The “Me” I used to be, is dead. I can only live through Christ. Everything I do is for our Lord. One Love, one sacrifice, one Glory all His. The pains I experience throughout my life are now nothing. His sacrifice is everything. He is my all. He is my Lord Jesus Christ.

My soul is so entangled with the True Vine, there is no escape from the love I have been consumed by. He chokes out all evil and the soul becomes captivated to only Him. All the love I can give is trumped by His love. Through His love for each soul, a new universe is created for each. When this happens, the explosion of the senses is overwhelming that no words exist to describe it. The interior of my being is all consumed by Him. The solitude on the outside can only be what our Lord also experienced in the garden of Gethsemane, and through His life as man. Knowing full, our existence here in physical body is terminal for now but our soul is His for eternity, to be united to His becoming one body. The beauty and fullness is one that I can only shout from the rooftops and hope the world opens up to Him and tosses away the physical and holds on tight to the true spiritual nature of Our King.

I wait and work in this world, in this body for Him. Every time you empty yourself and hand him all the LOVE you can find, He returns with ten times more to you that can not be matched. It is not based on just “Believing” but rather FACT He is King of Glory. My place of refuge is in my RISEN LORD.

I apologize but I can not hold back today, the LOVE I have for my LORD.

“I called to Yahweh in my anguish, I cried for help to my God; from his Temple he heard my voice, my cry came to his ears.”

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Alleluia!

“He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay.” Matthew 28:6

Our Lords message today is, I LOVE YOU. The same message He has been trying to tell us all, forever.

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The Dove VS The Cat

A few days ago, as I was napping, I heard the flutter of very strong wings. I thought as I was coming out of the napping haze, it sounds like a bird in my room. I opened my eyes and sure enough, it was a little Turtle Dove trying to escape the clutches of the cat. I sprang from bed and caught this poor little thing before the cat could do anymore damage. I looked him over and he seamed quite healthy. I couldn’t imagine how he was captured by the cat and dragged into my room. I walked him outside and opened my hands to free him. He wouldn’t budge. The poor dove was to weak to fly. I built a makeshift nest in an old glass tank with a mesh cover, realizing my little friend needed a room for the night to recuperate.

I woke early the next morning and after my prayers, headed to the little nest to check on my friend. He was very alert and I could tell, eager to check out and be on his merry way. I reached into the tank and he, became quite alert. So I walked his entire nest outside and opened the nest door and he flew away.

I couldn’t help but ponder the entire incident as the Holy Spirit VS evil and how we must stay awake to hear our Beloveds call, least His words be muted to our ears by the evil one never to be heard again.

My little friend…

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‘Woman, Where Are They?’

I can not tell you how beautiful today’s Mass this morning has been for me. My words can never express the pure BEAUTY of the LOVE our Lord has for the soul. Today at mass, I could see our Lord, The Master Carpenter with the hammer in one of his firm hands and His chisel in His other, strike at the block of wood that is my soul, knocking off the sin or the weight that should not be there, forming me into who He is creating me to be.The sin splintering into fragments, not to be used for anything but dust to the floor, to be swept away.

How long I have carried this extra weight that should not be there. Added only by my accuser, the evil one. And where is he? Running to the hills at the sight of Our Lord Jesus Christ who has overcome him. Through my repentance, I can see now my Lord asks me also, ‘Woman, Where Are They? Go and do not sin any more.’

Today’s gospel reading: John 8:1-11 Christ and the adulterous woman

When God sheds light on the sinners conscious, the sinner repents. Fully! Or should I say, is given the GRACE to repent by God. This is mercy. When that light is shed, the accuser, or evil one, also see it and try to steal that light by adding darkness to it and TRY to seduce the soul into thinking it is not God’s mercy but His accusations and JUSTICE. Although God is Just, it is His MERCY He is offering first.

When our LORD wrote with His finger in the dust, “And he gave unto Moses, when he had made an end of communing with him upon mount Sinai, two tables of testimony, tables of stone, written with the finger of God.” Our LORD wrote the law in the sand leaving the sins to the wind to blow away…

Our Lord here, was also giving the accusers the time to throw themselves at His feet and beg for mercy, because they had seen with their own “Conscious” the sins they also had committed. Rather then do so, they walked away, carrying the weight of their sins with them.

Where are the accusers of all our sins after we confess them? Constantly bringing them up in the conscience to NOT commit them again, is the Holy Spirit, so we keep an eye on the path to our Lord. Constantly bringing them up to TEMPT us, is the accusers. The ones who are guilty themselves who do not repent.

In my personal reflection on this scripture, I look around and can see no one accusing me anymore, but rather who was accusing me, and can finally stand up, and walk closer to Him again in repentance.

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A ‘Heroic Act’ Of Charity

From Catholic Tradition:
DEVOTION TO THE SOULS IN PURGATORY AND THE DEVOTION TO THE SACRED HEART

Among the devotions which should form a crown of honor around the Sacred Heart, St. Margaret Mary gives a privileged place to devotion to the Souls in Purgatory. She herself had an extraordinary devotion to these Souls and called them her good suffering friends. The revelations which she received about the sufferings of these Souls, about our Divine Lord’s tender love for them and His eager desire for their deliverance, of the great efficacy of the devotion to the Sacred Heart for their early release, and the fact that St. Margaret Mary, the apostle of the public devotion to the Sacred Heart, combined these two devotions so intimately in her own person, indicate that there is such a close connection between the two devotions that the devotion to the Souls in Purgatory may be said to form a part of the devotion to the Sacred Heart. Her extraordinary compassion for these suffering Souls may be said to be a share of the compassion of the Divine Heart for them; she called the devotion to the Sacred Heart the sovereign remedy for their relief.

It is a remarkable fact that our Divine Lord demanded of the two pioneers of the public devotion to His Sacred Heart an act of consecration of themselves to It, and a total donation in favor of the Souls in Purgatory of all the satisfactory merits of their lives and of all the prayers, Masses and good works offered for them after their death, and that they were the first to make this heroic offering.

St. Margaret Mary was in constant communication with the Souls in Purgatory; our Divine Lord allowed many privileged Souls among them to visit her, to tell her of their great sufferings and what it was that caused them, and to appear to her in glory after their deliverance. Towards the end of her life this became known outside the convent and people came to inquire from her about their deceased friends. While she usually declined to give any reply at the time of the inquiry, later on she sometimes declared that such a person was now in Heaven and exhorted the relatives of others to continue their prayers.

MARVELOUS EFFICACY OF THE DEVOTION TO THE SACRED HEART TO SUCCOR THE SOULS IN PURGATORY

“Would that people knew;’ writes St. Margaret Mary, “with what eagerness the poor Souls in Purgatory ask for this new remedy which is so powerful to relieve their sufferings. They call the Devotion to the Sacred Heart the ‘Sovereign remedy,’ and ask particularly for Masses in honor of the Sacred Heart of Jesus.”

ST. MARGARET MARY RECOMMENDS NOVENAS IN HONOR OF THE SACRED HEART FOR THE SOULS IN PURGATORY

Writing to Mother de Saumaise she says: “There is a Soul in Purgatory that I cannot comfort as much as I desire. She told me to apply to you and ask you to have three Masses said for her, and, in addition, to offer your Rosary and all the practices of our holy rule for nine days, and a general
Communion. She said that these things would greatly alleviate her pains and that she would not be ungrateful.”

ST. MARGARET MARY WAS ACCUSTOMED TO OFFER HER PRAYERS TO OUR BLESSED LADY THROUGH THE SOULS IN PURGATORY, AND IN A LETTER TO MOTHER GREFIÉ SHE EXPLAINS THE REASON:

“It is not through any want of confidence in Our Blessed Lady that we ask the help of the Holy Souls in Purgatory; it is in order that they may join their supplications to ours and offer them up to this Good Mother to obtain for us the continuation of her maternal assistance. By doing so we confess that, after God, it is from the Blessed Virgin that all good comes to us.”
Of all the practices for the relief of the Holy Souls, the most efficacious is that which is called “the Heroic Act of Charity,” which, as already stated, both St. Margaret Mary and Blessed Claude de la Colombiere made at our Divine Lord’s request. It consists in offering up in favor of the Souls in Purgatory all our satisfactory merits and all the indulgences we can gain during our lives, and all the prayers, Masses and good works offered for us after our death, thus reserving nothing for ourselves and trusting completely in the mercy of the Sacred Heart of Jesus. St. Margaret Mary makes reference to it in several of her letters.

PRAYER FOR THE HOLY SOULS

O Divine Heart of Jesus, grant I pray Thee, eternal rest to the Souls in Purgatory, the final grace to those who are about to die this day, true repentance to sinners, the light of faith to pagans, and Thy blessing to me and to all who are dear to me. To Thee, therefore, O Most Merciful Heart of Jesus, I commend all these souls, and in their behalf I offer unto Thee all Thy merits in union with the merits of Thy Most Blessed Mother and of all the Angels and Saints, together with all the Masses, Communions, prayers and good works which are this day being offered throughout Christendom.
O Most Holy Heart of Jesus, shower Thy blessings in abundant measure upon the Thy Holy Church, upon the Supreme Pontiff and upon all the clergy; to the just grant perseverance; convert sinners; enlighten unbelievers; bless our relations, friends and benefactors; assist the dying; deliver the Holy Souls in Purgatory; and extend over all hearts the sweet empire of Thy love. Amen.

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The Pain Of Abortion

The pain a soul feels after having an abortion is endless. No amount of suffering a woman can feel by HAVING a child under any circumstance, can ever compare to the pain she has after taking the life of her own child. Evey relationship with every person she comes in contact with after making the decision to have one, is compromised. The emotional and psychological problems are enormous and burdensome and to add it to the cross she already carry’s is a tremendous amount of weight, most times then not, just to heavy to carry alone. Everything in the woman’s life in this world after having an abortion, reminds her of the day she took her own child’s life. The pain NEVER goes away. How do I know? I fell for the empty rhetoric at one time in my life, that the baby growing inside of me, was not human.

In March of 1993, while having an affair with a married man fifteen years older then myself, for already two years, I found out I was pregnant. I was already a single mom with a six year old daughter from a marriage that should have never taken place, struggling to make ends meet. No one knew I was having this affair and I was all alone. What I thought was “Love” I had felt for this man, was anything but love as I can see so clearly now. I sat him down and told him I was pregnant. His response was he wasn’t about to leave his wife. They had been married for over twenty years and he couldn’t do that to her. Rather then go with my motherly INSTINCT to protect this beautiful life of the child growing inside of me, I told him that I would see my doctor and discuss abortion.

The day I met with my doctor, the same doctor that had delivered me, he confirmed I was pregnant and only about four to five weeks along. I told him the situation and that I was considering abortion. He said ok and left me sitting on the examination table as he walked out of the room. As I sat there on the examination table, I heard that voice in my heart. DON’T DO THIS! This is not you! And I changed my mind. I couldn’t go through with this horrific thing I was thinking about doing. It was done! I was going to have this child and all the pain and suffering I would have to endure bringing another child into this world even without the funds to do so. It was time to face the music of the life I was leading.

The nurse came into the examination room and told me to roll up my sleeve. I did and she jabbed me with a needle. I asked her what she had just given me and she said it was “Vitamins”. I then told her after, I changed my mind and I was going to be going through with the pregnancy. Her very stern and angry face melted into one of horror. I quickly learned, it was not vitamins she gave me, but a shot to kill the baby and cause a miscarriage. I NEVER knew having an abortion was just one shot away. I always thought it was a serious medical procedure that would take time to think about because it would have to be planned out ahead of time. It wasn’t. It was all contained in that shot the nurse had already given me, after I had changed my mind. My stupidity, led to the murder of my child, at my hands. My lack of understanding the SERIOUSNESS of the situation all came to light.

She left the room and my doctor came back in. He held my hands and said it was to late and that it was in God’s hands now. I ended up losing the baby two days later. Alone, at home, without anyone knowing the pain I was going through. Nor the pain this little innocent life felt. It was official. I committed murder.

Not a day has passed that I don’t think about my “little soul” in heaven. I am constantly reminded about this little one every time I see children, pregnant women, birthday party’s and even still now, in my own children. During the time of this event in my life, I tried to block it out as much as I could. In doing so, the relationship I had with my daughter faltered because I could not bare to look at her and NOT see the child who I took out of this world. The psychological and emotional effects took their toll. How could anyone want me now, knowing what I had done? How could I explain to my daughter that she could have had a baby brother or sister but I murdered the baby. The effects of abortion on the soul of the woman who has had one, is a pain she will carry with her through her entire life. The baby just doesn’t “Go Away” and the woman is NOT left to continue on in her life. The baby goes away and the woman carry’s that event forever. Nothing can change the facts.

As many years that have passed, I always think about how old my child would be now. What they would have looked like. Who’s life they would have influenced. My child would be entering college this year. Just this past Christmas, my five year old daughter gave me a present that shook my soul. It was an innocent gift she had made in school for me. Her teacher had drawn her arms and hands and glued them onto a heart. The little hands were my five year-olds hands, imprinted in red tempera paint. When I opened the gift, I burst into tears and hugged her so tight. I couldn’t stop crying. Seeing the little red hands reminded me of the little one I have in heaven and what I had done. You see, the pain never does go away.

In my conversion of heart, coming back to the Catholic Church, just confessing this grave sin eased the burden I carry. It is a forgivable act and through repentance and working WITH the graces our Lord STILL pours on the soul, it becomes lighter to carry when you know Our Lord STILL loves us. I didn’t have the counseling made available now to help women who have had abortions. At the time, the evil one had me believing I was damned to hell because of this act. I only know now, that is NOT true! Rachel’s Vineyard is one such organization that WILL HELP you! You do not have to suffer alone.

Never NEVER let anyone tell you that baby inside of you is just a blob of tissue. What they don’t tell you is how the loss of that “Blob” at your own hands, causes a woman so much pain and so much emotional damage, not to mention the damage done to the body. If my child was just as they say, I wouldn’t have this weight on my soul. Obviously its more then just a blob. The consequences of taking that “Blob” last a lifetime. Get INFORMED! And then inform everyone. Abortion is just a sanitized name for murder.

No matter when the pregnancy ends, conception is the beginning of motherhood.

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My Heart Bleeds For You

How many times in my life, I have heard these words, “My Heart Bleeds For You” from very sarcastic hearts along the way… It always seams as if this world is not lacking insincerity when your down and out. Seems someone was always there to rub there fingers together and tell you, “Hear that? Its the smallest violin playing my heart bleeds for you..”

Today, I heard those words again, along with the violin. They did not come from insincerity, but in front of The Blessed Sacrament. I let the world get to me today and rather then sit and let it get me more then it has, I went to visit our Lord in Adoration. Today is First Friday and the significance is astounding: The First Friday Devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus.:

“The First Friday of each month was designated by our Savior Himself as a day to be
consecrated to honoring His Sacred Heart…. As the object of this devotion is to make our Savior Jesus Christ ardently and perfectly loved, and to make reparation for the outrages offered to Him in the past, as well as for those which he daily receives in the Blessed Eucharist…Jesus Christ merits our love at all times, but alas! He is despised and outraged in the Sacrament of His love at all times, and so people should at all times make reparation to Him.
We should then adore Jesus Christ in this august Sacrament, make a fervent act of love to Jesus in the tabernacle, thank Him for having instituted this Mystery of love, express our sorrow at seeing Him so abandoned, and resolve to visit Him as soon as possible and love Him unceasingly.
Attendance at the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass is assuredly the best means of honoring and loving the adorable Heart of Jesus. ”

So the world started getting to me today, and I was moved to tears. I drove over to adoration to spend time with Our Lord and the Adoration of Our Lord was being held in the Day Chapel and not in the Adoration Chapel, because today is First Friday.

There were a few people there, so I walked around some chairs and knelt down to pray. As I began to tell our Lord about my “Bad Day” and how it was truly getting to me, how I needed strength, from the main Church came the sound of a violin. I Thought of my mom, because she used to play and then thought about how I myself had used the words in a selfish way to people, “My Heart Bleeds For you”. I was so caught up in my self pity, it didn’t hit me until the ride home, that today is First Friday. Our Lord had strengthened me by using some not so innocent slang, to tell me, He in fact was with me and telling me so. The reason the world was getting to me today, is a matter of faith. I thank My Lord! I could not LOVE Him more!

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