No ads, no donations. I don’t place my thoughts here for ANY monetary reason.
My motivation is my King, Jesus Christ. I’m here for reasons I will see, when I go home.
Last seen coated in mortal sin. Heading for eternal damnation.
Taken by a “Thief In The Night”
No Reward. Not interested in her return.
I have finally reached a very comfortable point on my road back home. Funny how I can’t even look at photos of myself without thanking God for my conversion. The photos bring back memories that make me realize just how lost I truly was. It to me is a testament to God’s mercy.
I found a photo of my husband and I, just weeks after we had met. I have been praying so intently for a personal issue to God concerning my husband & I and this evening at dinner with my girls, I believe He answered me.
I have been struggling so hard with the “What If” factor regarding “Did I miss my chance God?” The “Chance”? Rather then the vocation of Marriage, dedicating my entire life to God as a religious Sister. There is NO DOUBT I would join a religious order if events in my life were different. Or should I say, if I had not had such a hardened heart once upon a time. I can say without a doubt, my husband was placed in my life, so I could HEAR God calling to me. It was the only way for Him to get my attention. He tried everything else. I just didn’t listen. Now the price I pay, is realizing that I belong to God and would have no problem dedicating my life to Him, but now have my husband under circumstances NOT in line with Catholic teaching.
I was married in the Catholic Church when I was 20 and pregnant. I won’t go into details, but I will say, I didn’t want to do it. I was married for less then six months before papers were filed for a civil divorce. I was divorced just before my 21st birthday. I never filed for an annulment in the Catholic Church, until 2 1/2 years ago. I married my current husband in of ALL places, Caesars Palace, Vegas, Nevada. If your rolling your eyes, I am too. Its not bad enough I divorced and remarried but to get married THERE? “Render unto Caesar”.
Lets bring God back into this post. I don’t believe for a second, our Lord was very happy with me at this union in such a way. As a matter of fact, I know He wasn’t. I should have followed the correct path by filing for the annulment, waiting, THEN having the marriage performed in the Catholic Church. Be it that He was not happy, through His mercy, he blessed us with three children anyway. One we lost while I was at just 7 weeks pregnant, who was a twin to my youngest Chloe. It was through the children God blessed us with, I started remembering how important faith was and started back on the road to Him, after another brief diversion.
As it stands now, my husband & I have been living as brother and sister since my total conversion back to the Catholic Church, until the annulment is complete and a decision is reached. Our relationship is based completely on trust and faith in God. It is not a easy life and it is full of many difficulty’s but its the right thing to do in regards to “Obedience” to God. Its an understood “Chastity” between two people who understand God comes first. I thank God for placing him in my life to get my attention. We have already decided that if the outcome is not in our favor, we will continue to live in this way, as brother and sister, until our children are grown. Then I will dedicate my life to a religious order. If they will take me.
I don’t want to pick on Toyota, my mom drove a one so I’m not picking on them, but their logo best represents to me a false Halo. Placing our worldly wants, no matter what they might be, above the needs of God for our soul and potential Sainthood.
Halo or Sainthood? A question I ask myself all the time to keep myself in check.
Let me clarify.
For me, to seek a “Halo” is to seek the appreciation and acceptance of others by making my Christian life known to man for superficial praise. OR making myself look worthy to God, for others sake, to be worthy to be called a saint rather then living the life He called me to live because He requires me to live as Christ lived.
In this aspect, when I find myself looking to the future of my life with Him in heaven, I need to constantly place Him first. Rather then chasing after the “carrot” at the end of the stick in my life of faith, which would be the “Halo” to make myself known to others. Then ALLOWING God to make my works known. If God whats you to be a well know Saint of His, He most definitely will let your works be known. I do not have to. The more I try, the more I am placing my wants above our Lords.
Sainthood is doing the work our Lord asks of you, for nothing in return, except the LOVE you have for him. No name recognition can replace the love and joy in the soul, when yours is joined with His. Thus, placing your wants last, and placing the love for God first, which manifests itself in the love you have for every soul on earth.
“We are all called to be Saints”
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
Prayer to Our Lady of Fatima
Dearest Mother, Queen of the Holy Rosary, who came to Fatima to reveal to all mankind the Divine plan for true Christian peace, of prayer, penance, and consecration, grant an abundance of grace, strength, and guidance to the members of Thy Fatima Crusade, here present and throughout the world. Inspire us to great zeal, oh great Mediatrix of All Graces, that we may be effective instruments in spreading devotion to Thy Rosary; that we may be faithful in wearing Thy scapular; that we may inspire our brothers in Christ to a life of sacrifice, penance, and modesty, and finally, that we may help to bring about that wonderful day when all men, through consecration to Thy Immaculate Heart, shall be one in Christ. Amen.
Hymn to Our Lady of Fatima
Dear Lady of Fatima,
We come on bended knee,
To beg Your intercession,
For peace and unity.
Dear Mary, won’t You show us,
The right and shining way,
We pledge our love and offer You,
A Rosary each day.
You promised at Fatima,
Each time that You appeared,
To help us if we pray to You,
To banish war and fear.
Dear Lady, on First Saturdays,
We ask Your guiding hand,
For grace and guidance here on earth,
And protection for our land.
Act of Reparation to the Immaculate Heart of Mary
Most Holy Virgin, and our beloved Mother, we listen with grief to the complaints of thy Immaculate Heart, surrounded with thorns which ungrateful men place therein at every moment by their blasphemies and ingratitude. Moved by the ardent desire of loving thee as our Mother and of promoting true devotion to thy Immaculate Heart, we prostrate ourselves at thy feet to prove the sorrow we feel for the grief that men cause thee and to atone by means of our prayers and sacrifices for the offenses with which men return thy tender love. Obtain for them and for us the pardon of so many sins. A word from thee will obtain grace and forgiveness for us all. Hasten O Lady, the conversion of sinners, that they may love Jesus and cease to offend God, already so much offended, and thus avoid eternal punishment. Turn thine eyes of mercy toward us so that henceforth we may love God with all our hearts while on earth and enjoy Him forever in Heaven. Amen.
Act of Consecration to the Immaculate Heart of Mary
O Immaculate Heart of Mary, Queen of Heaven and earth and tender Mother of men, in accordance with thy ardent wish made known at Fatima, I consecrate to thee myself, my brethren, my country and the whole human race. Reign over us and teach us how to make the Heart of Jesus reign and triumph in us and around us as It has reigned and triumphed in thee.
Reign over us, dearest Mother, that we may be thine in prosperity and in adversity; in joy and in sorrow; in health and in sickness; in life and in death. O most compassionate Heart of Mary, Queen of Virgins, watch over our minds and our hearts and preserve them from the deluge of impurity which thou didst lament so sorrowfully at Fatima. We want to be pure like thee. We want to atone for the many sins committed against Jesus and thee. We want to call down upon our country and the whole world the peace of God in justice and charity.
Therefore, we now promise to imitate thy virtues by the practice of a Christian life without regard to human respect. We resolve to receive Holy Communion on the First Saturday of every month and to offer thee five decades of the Rosary each day together with our sacrifices in a spirit of reparation and penance. Amen.
O Jesus, through the Immaculate Heart of Mary (kiss Scapular), in reparation for my sins, I offer Thee all of my prayers, works, joys, and sufferings of this day and of my entire life, for all the intentions of Thy Most Sacred Heart, in union with the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, validly and licitly offered this day throughout the world, the infinite graces and merits thereof to be dispensed in accord with Thy Divine Will for the salvation of souls, the conversion of poor sinners, and the special intention recommended for this month by our Bishop.