“I have great sorrow and unceasing anguish in my heart. For I could wish that I myself were accursed and cut off from Christ for the sake of my brothers, my kinsmen according to the flesh.” Romans 9:3
When I see my family members, my friends, new and old, when I look into the face of anyone, I beg God to give me the grace to tell them what He wants me to say. Sometimes He does, and sometimes, I just look at them with so much anguish in my heart, I don’t know what to say. Living the faith can be excruciatingly painful at times. Especially when you see people you love, those you know and those you do not, living in such a way you know is wrong. When you continually search your own heart first, you grasp a better understanding as to why they do what they do, because you yourself have done these things, before you knew God. Its a love for neighbor over self, but not above the love you have for God.
At every turn lately, its seems this love is unwanted by those I share it with. Its as if they are to busy with the world to want anything God is offering. The only joy I find anymore, is the joy given to me by God. I have never asked anyone to believe in me, but rather to believe in God. The cross is a heavy one, often dragging on the ground, tilling the ground behind as I walk. I don’t know why our Lord shares this with me.
God knows and I will share it to the end, even in times when they don’t want it.
This must be the valley of tears I heard so much about…