I recently started reading Saint Louis Marie de Montfort’s book, God Alone. Its funny really, because I have been putting it off for a while. I have been afraid to read it, because of my fear of my attention being taken away from our Lord and placed on our Holy Mother Mary. I’m not that far into the book, only a few pages really, and have to admit, I found it amazing that I share the same fear that our Holy Father, Blessed John Paul II had.
“the reading of the treatise of the True Devotion to the Blessed Virgin was a turning point in my life (at a time when he was secretly studying for the priesthood). Whereas I had initially been afraid lest devotion to Mary might detract from that due to Jesus instead of giving Him his rightful place, I realized, when reading the treatise of Grignion de Montfort, that such was not the case. Our interior relationship with the Mother of God is a result of our association with the mystery of Christ.” Blessed John Paul II
Funny really, as I am a member of the Legion of Mary and have spent the past year doing our Mothers work, be it in Nursing Homes or with the elderly, the dying and sick. Also, in the past few days, I have started the daily consecration to the Immaculate Hart of Mary. I have seen my devotion to her blossom and my understanding of her grow. I can’t help but protect her when she is put down by others who don’t know her and yet I fear her. This truly humble woman who totally gave up her life and will to God. I have pondered deeply Mama Mary’s devotion to her true Spouse, the Holy Spirit along with her devotion and love to her Son, our Lord in so many ways learning more and more about the humility she had and how it made way for God to entire fully into her life. Simply by saying yes, she shared in the divine plan of my redemption and the redemption of all mankind. I don’t know what I am doing or how I am doing it, in my faith, but there is a constant reminder that Mama Mary is the model for me to follow.
Yesterday, I was given a day to spend with my children and husband at the fair. It was a long day of carnival rides, eating good junk food but also, spent in deep solitude, in prayer. Although we spent the day at the fair as a family, my husband barely said any words to me. At times I feel as if I am an empty shell to him, and serve him no purpose to even be a part of this family. Every suggestion to do something, fell on deaf ears with little response from him. While standing in line with the girls for rides or shows, he would walk away and not even tell me to come with to wait with him for the girls to get off rides. I pondered deeply Mama Mary and what would she do? I didn’t argue. I didn’t lose my temper. I just said yes. Yes to being ignored, and my husband and children being placed first. The day that was set aside for the family, became the day of understanding for me, that my faith and hope will rest in God, no matter what tries to upset me. With this faith comes great suffering in this life but my hope is not in this world but rather in the next. Amazing reality is and quite ironic that the theme for the fair this year is “Out Of This World“. I have never in my life felt more out of this world. More out of communion with the world and IN communion with God.
When we arrived home last night, it was rather late and I laid down to say my prayers. I began to fall asleep while reciting the Rosary and someplace between sleep and wake, I heard a distinct woman’s voice call my name. Not just once, but twice. I had never heard this voice before and truly thought it was Mama Mary waking me up to finish my prayers. I awoke and finished to the sound of water rushing. For some reason, at 11:15 PM, our sprinklers turned on and refused to shut off. I can only hope it is the flood gate of grace that has broken wide open, that Mama Mary is now sharing with me.