Daily Archives: December 10, 2012

Fear Of God

Fear

Abba Father, I Am Who Am. When my soul is in His presence, I am confident and content in His love. My soul is relaxed and all I can do is love Him back. There is no time to tell Him of the things in which bother me, or things in this world that trouble me. My soul is completely at ease and all I can do is cry with joy at His forgiveness and love for me and the entire world. Once the soul understand this, it never seeks anything but God.

This past Sunday, I was blessed with this contentment that only comes from Him, just after praying the Rosary. When my soul is in this state, I can not remember anything bitter in the world but only the love of neighbor and love of Him. There is a distinct difference in my soul between being in the presence of Abba Father, The Son, whom I know as the Bridegroom and the Holy Spirit. Abba Father IS Papa. I have talked about this before, but can not stress enough the difference. When my soul is with Him, it knows it. There is no pain. There is no fear. There is only contentment.

When my soul is with the Bridegroom, it is like this morning. I know it is Him through the intimacy that my soul shares with Him. I am unsure how to love Him at times, but offer everything anyway, knowing full well, He will take what He wants. My soul burns with desire to do everything for Him. It’s a state of undying love waiting to be reassured that no matter what I do, He loves me anyway. A state of never wanting to hurt Him, but yet, sharing in His hurt and begging for forgiveness for even the least thought of sin that may have been committed, and working fervently without exhaustion to ensure that I never hurt Him again.

When my soul is in the presence of the Holy Spirit, it knows it without a doubt. He is ferocious . He is the Warrior. He mends my ways without care. I sit in deep repentance begging to be forgiven as He has my soul in His hands. The tears of regret that I have strayed from our Lord do not stop, until He says they can. I tremble in fear. There is no other fear in the world that can describe Him. Truth no matter how painful, is the only way in dealing with Him. He will never settle for anything less. This Truth causes the emptying of everything in the soul. Good and bad. It’s as if He comes to collect what He has asked for. Sometimes He stays for a few days, and it causes the soul to repent in such a way that others can not understand. Other times, He just comes for a second, to remind the soul, He will be returning. In all cases, you never forget what He seeks nor He was there. The soul then only wants Truth to ensure when He returns, He will be satisfied. He teaches you what Fear of God is. Not to be afraid of God, but to be afraid of separating ones self from God.

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Intimacy With Christ

conviction

Far to often when the world uses the word intimacy, is confused with sexual behavior. Intimacy is a step above friendship. It is personal detailed knowledge of another that no one else can fathom or understand. Its knowing what makes a “clock” tick rather than showing it off for its outer beauty. I can sit here all day and tell you I love our Lord and as many who read this will say sure, I love Him too. As I am sure you do. It’s when that love for Christ becomes manifested in our daily lives, where we can see Him speaking to us personally and we speak back, that the relationship becomes intimate. When our entire being becomes entangled in the workings of the Holy Trinity, and we desire this and our life is only of serving Him no matter what crosses our path. It’s the “One Track Mind” heading in the direction of Heaven, passing by all creation, to come face to face with the Creator, just for the simple task to place a kiss upon His lips. My one and only reason for living, being for Him.

Today while cleaning out the old literature in the back of the church, I came across a prayer card with the picture of St. Michael the Archangel. I smiled and taking a push-pin, hung it up on the bulletin board while saying “Always”. I then began to feel around in an area I could not see into. I found a little toy of Spongebob sealed in plastic. I laughed so hard. I then walked up to the front of the Altar on to the right side, seen something laying on the ground. It was a small broken off piece of a blue crayon. I picked it up and tossed it into the garbage. For any other soul, these events would seem like nothing. Between our Lord and I, it was Him telling me, I Am here with you, I hear you and I love you.

St. Michael the Archangel: I have a deep and profound respect and love for him. My entire sinful life, even when I was not as faithful, when I did not think I was worth saving, if I were not to make it to heaven, I would hope it were he to crush me. Now in my repentance, I call on him for our Lords protection. Always.

The broken piece of blue crayon: It’s much harder to describe this. The blue is my favorite color. The tiny piece represents, in my repentance, what I would use to write about my love for our Lord and how I speak to Him daily, with still keeping much in my heart. I would have to use it sparingly.

The toy: Well, I truly have had a “Road to Damascus” conversion, and although older, the cartoon below will fill in the blanks.

paul

Like I said, its just a deep understanding….

I then came to the tabernacle, got to one knee and said, I love you.

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