Fear Of God


Abba Father, I Am Who Am. When my soul is in His presence, I am confident and content in His love. My soul is relaxed and all I can do is love Him back. There is no time to tell Him of the things in which bother me, or things in this world that trouble me. My soul is completely at ease and all I can do is cry with joy at His forgiveness and love for me and the entire world. Once the soul understand this, it never seeks anything but God.

This past Sunday, I was blessed with this contentment that only comes from Him, just after praying the Rosary. When my soul is in this state, I can not remember anything bitter in the world but only the love of neighbor and love of Him. There is a distinct difference in my soul between being in the presence of Abba Father, The Son, whom I know as the Bridegroom and the Holy Spirit. Abba Father IS Papa. I have talked about this before, but can not stress enough the difference. When my soul is with Him, it knows it. There is no pain. There is no fear. There is only contentment.

When my soul is with the Bridegroom, it is like this morning. I know it is Him through the intimacy that my soul shares with Him. I am unsure how to love Him at times, but offer everything anyway, knowing full well, He will take what He wants. My soul burns with desire to do everything for Him. It’s a state of undying love waiting to be reassured that no matter what I do, He loves me anyway. A state of never wanting to hurt Him, but yet, sharing in His hurt and begging for forgiveness for even the least thought of sin that may have been committed, and working fervently without exhaustion to ensure that I never hurt Him again.

When my soul is in the presence of the Holy Spirit, it knows it without a doubt. He is ferocious . He is the Warrior. He mends my ways without care. I sit in deep repentance begging to be forgiven as He has my soul in His hands. The tears of regret that I have strayed from our Lord do not stop, until He says they can. I tremble in fear. There is no other fear in the world that can describe Him. Truth no matter how painful, is the only way in dealing with Him. He will never settle for anything less. This Truth causes the emptying of everything in the soul. Good and bad. It’s as if He comes to collect what He has asked for. Sometimes He stays for a few days, and it causes the soul to repent in such a way that others can not understand. Other times, He just comes for a second, to remind the soul, He will be returning. In all cases, you never forget what He seeks nor He was there. The soul then only wants Truth to ensure when He returns, He will be satisfied. He teaches you what Fear of God is. Not to be afraid of God, but to be afraid of separating ones self from God.

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