Monthly Archives: June 2013

In My Tribe – EDIT TO ADD

med bag

I found a remarkable feather, big one, a few days ago. I thought about Jesus as our “Chief”. While praying evening prayers last night, from Carmel’s Call,

Psalm 122 –

3 Jerusalem is built like a city
that is closely compacted together.
4 That is where the tribes go up—
the tribes of the Lord—

Immediately passing before my eyes was my pyx and leather holder. I had forgotten that when I was VERY little, I loved Native Americans. I had wanted so badly to be a “Medicine Man”. I had a little pouch that I would pretend was my medicine bag, placing little things in it pretending it could cure anyone of anything. Here our Lord was showing me, in fact, He has allowed me to be one of His. Only our Lord knew this about me, and only our Lord could remind me of a memory that had been lost for many years.

“I am the Lord, who test the mind and heart; I give each man what his conduct deserves”

EDIT TO ADD: Its a turkey feather…. “Thanksgiving”

Edit to add, Feast of St. Peter & St. Paul… June 29, 2013

I was unsure if I could make the meeting tomorrow at St. Joseph Cathedral to become an Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion there, because I could not find a baby sitter for my young children and the thought of them making it through it, without becoming a distraction to others, concerned me.. So our Lord through Father Dave Leon, this morning, announced after Mass at Little Flower Haven, he needed one to help serve in USD Medical Center… Our Lord called my name and now I will be helping Father Dave and the Carmelites do just that.

“The angel of the Lord will rescue those who fear him.”

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No More Fish Bowl


I would love to say that this will be my last post on this blog, but I just can’t do that yet. Not until I see our Lord face to Face. I am however, taking a break from Facebook, twitter and blogging to be mom. To adhere to my first vocation. Wife and mom. Since the Marriage of myself and my husband in the Catholic Church back on May 4, 2013, there have been many serious changes taking place in my life. Due to being asked to do something I could not do because of my faith in our Lord, I believe I have been presented with an exit from our Lord to leave the ministry’s behind at my old parish as nothing was being addressed as far as concerns for them and the people of my old parish. A door became open for me to leave and I did just that. I am still in formation for the Third Order of Carmel and will remain with it as long as our Lord is calling me to this beautiful place. I still attend Adoration and will continue as He is my love. It has been almost a week and all the things I had been asking for, for the benefit of the ministry’s after my leaving, is now, as I hear, taking place. Sometimes we stand in the way of progress and don’t even know it until our Lord moves us to another place, still in His heart. I was asked to say in them as the reason of my departure was a misunderstanding. Rather then go back, where I knew nothing would change for the better of the community, I left the door open and kept walking. I am now at a new parish as truly feel our Lord calling me to do EVERYTHING I had done at my old parish, in love for Him, and do it now in my own home for my children, husband and maybe down the road, where He is calling me to. I feel at this time I need to keep many things in my heart but still be a shinning light for my family in the faith. Until He calls me to write again.

In many ways I began to feel as if I was outgrowing this “Fish Bowl”. I could no longer attend Holy Mass without someone coming up to me with a question during Holy Mass and that was just too much for me. I live to help others, but not at the expense of the Holy Mass, the faith or our Lord. If a soul is being called to distract another DURING Mass for any question, then the help they need is much greater than I can give. Yes, He is removing me from “This Fishbowl” and placing me in a much bigger one, free from the nibbling and picking on in a much larger tank. Free to worship again. I forgive them and pray always for everyone… Thy will be done O Lord. Thy will.


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Can You Hear Me?


One thing I have been doing since my conversion is listening. Listening and paying attention to not only what is going on around me, but hanging on every word of our Lord, so I could listen to the souls around me and become part of their solution, on the journey home for all of us, rather then add to the confusion. The problem I tend to see is that when I am in pain, there is isolation. I have not found the heart besides our Lords that is willing to listen to me. Willing to hear and feel the excruciating pain that I have in this “place”. A good Facebook Priest friend had posted this today and it echo’s exactly what we need, I need, from our Spiritual Directors and all our Priests, religious and Laity. Not to mention in our own homes and family’s. To often we become distracted by our own idea of what someone is trying to say, we fail to listen to what they are actually saying and rather then hear them, we place our own words in their mouths thinking we got it right, when the reality is, its totally wrong.

So many times I have tried to explain to my Pastor things that have been happening, be it in the Parish Community or in my personal life that need serious attention and more often then not, I get the same response, “I don’t have time right now, go tell ____________________ (fill in the blank). Leaving the Ministry’s placed in my hands, falling into a state of serious needs. And of course the next response when something goes wrong is, Why didn’t you tell me……

I often wonder, how many souls are in hell today because someone didn’t have time to listen to them….

“A pervasive societal narcissism threatens to seep down into the minds of us all…The antidote to narcissism and the perennial core of ministry begins very simply: listen. But listen not as a reference to ourselves…We listen by moving out of ourselves trying to connect, to really understand, to live with the other…When you really listen to someone, just for a moment, you sense a deeper connection, heart to heart. The other person senses the deep connection as well. They no longer feel alone. And this connection, this burst of grace, stays with you; it stays with them…True listening requires from us a willingness to open ourselves to the other, heart to heart. When we feel their pain; we feel echoes of our own pain. When we are vulnerable, we open ourselves to being hurt. We are exposed and this can be frightening. I think that this is one reason why we do not listen. We do not want to get involved, to risk our hearts. But this is the price to get the ‘smell of the sheep’ on us. Benedict XVI spoke to us of loneliness. He said that real total loneliness, ‘which is not penetrated and transformed by another,’ is ‘what theology calls hell.’ Hell is isolation. Ministry breaks through this isolation. It form a human bond. This bond between us human beings is the building block of unity and community. It is thus the building block of heaven. If hell is isolation, heaven is communion.”
-Msgr Stephen Rossetti, at the Commencement Address at St Mary’s Seminary, Baltimore, MD

The simplest form of mercy, is to listen to another soul. Another form of mercy is to embrace them with the words our Lord gives to us.

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“Spiritual Warfare Prayer”


All through the power of our Lord Jesus Christ…..

“Spiritual Warfare Prayer”

Lord Jesus, I ask you today to cover Me and my family, the whole world, especially our military and our priest, with your precious blood and protection. Uncover any hidden plot of the enemy before it has a chance to take root or effect or do any harm. Alert us to any hidden plots against us and provide in advance a peaceful solution to any damage the enemy tries to do. Bind and make mute any evil spirits that try to manifest or attach themselves to us in any way. We ask you to please hide from the enemy the personal plans and ministries you have for us, so he has no access or knowledge of them. Let no weapon formed against us be able to prosper.

In the name of Jesus Christ, I rebuke any curses, hexes or spells sent against us. I bind all interplay, interaction and communication of evil spirits, and I claim the protection of the shed blood of Jesus Christ on_________. I ask you , Lord, to please send St. Michael, the Archangel, to drive out all the evil spirits who roam the earth and give St. Michael the authority to send all evil spirits straight to the recesses of hell, where they will remain forever.

Lord Jesus, I also ask you to please let the waters of our baptism flow back through our bloodlines to cleanse us of any evil or unwanted tendencies or traits that we may have inherited from our ancestors. And lastly, Lord, I ask you to please bless my enemies by sending your Holy Spirit to lead them to repentance and conversion.

We thank you, Lord, and we praise you. Lord, for your boundless mercy and protection. Amen.

This prayer could be said everyday. Anywhere and everywhere you go.

Evil spirit, I bind you in the Name of Jesus Christ, and command you to go to the foot of the cross.

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The Dead Fly

SHJ Coffee

I have been under great pressure lately during this “Dark Night of the Spirit” and have placed my full trust and faith in our Lord. I have not been able to look at anything without seeing “confusion”, speak to anyone without jumping to conclusions, in my thoughts and seeing things only as I believe our Lord is asking of me. I can only see the “confusion” as total evil trying to pull me away from our Lord and into something I can not get out of. The confusion is not working. “Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’

Last Friday at Mass, although I KNEW our Priest had said the prayers of “Consecration of the Eucharist”, as I went to receive our Lord, he became distracted by something and never said the words “The Body of Christ”. I said Amen, anyway, at the time and only over the weekend, pondered the reason why I said Amen. Did I say it because it is habit? Or did I say Amen because I TRULY believe He is present? After receiving Him, I went back to the pew and was tossed into a deep darkness where the evil one tried to tell me, it was just me that our Lord was not present for. I began to panic. I got up and went to receive our Lord in the Precious Blood, thinking maybe if I heard the words then, would be okay. As the person in front of we went to receive Him in the Precious Blood, the cup became empty and I could not receive Him. I sat back down and began to question myself. Was He there? Did I receive Him? There was a darkness I had never seen covering me in fear. It tried to trouble me more and more and Mass was over.

As Mass ended I remembered I had to bring our Lord to the woman who used to run the Adoration Chapel before becoming to frail to perform her duty’s and thus it was handed over to me. Although I had our Lord with me on the trip to her home, that darkness was trying to pit my faith In Him against Him. I kept shaking my head and pondering the events as they took place, arriving at the woman’s home. I entered and just seeing her in her frail state was reminded I had a job to do. After sharing our Lord with her, I picked up her prayer book and opened it to a random page. The prayer and “pondering” were on how the evil one tries to distract us from truth, replacing Truth with confusion. After praying with her and reading out loud the chapter from her book, I told her the story of my experience that had just happened. After ward, informing her, that it did not matter if Father had not said the words “The Body of Christ”, as our Lord said it first, in the beginning. Our Lord was and Is present in the Eucharist, and always shall be. Be it that the Priest did not say it at that second, He came down at the consecration of the bread and wine, into the Body and Blood. He is there no matter how distracted we became.

Many other things have taken place this weekend to try and upset my love for our Lord, but in every instance, He has been right there with consolations, filling me with His joy, no matter how my lack of faith in this instance and all was and has been tested.

I was just cleaning up some dishes laying around and picked up my coffee cup from this morning. Mind you, it has the picture of the Sacred Heart of Jesus on it. As I looked into it with the little coffee left in the bottom, there was laying a dead fly. I couldn’t help but laugh. The dead fly representing Satan and his lies was dead. Killed by our Lord with just the slightest amount of liquid in the bottom of the mug.

That little tiny amount of faith that I had from long ago, in our Lord, came through and grew into something much greater in the love I have for Him, because He loved us first. Although I had received Him, I needed to receive Him in word also. And we need to be reminded of that, all the time. The distraction will always be there, like clanging gongs surrounding me but faith in Him and not myself, is where it needs to be put into action EVERY second, so only His peace and Glory can resound. The consolations in this place I am in, have themselves become distraction in many ways. I do not seek them anymore although they are there. I only seek Him who grants them because I truly love Him. I need to work on this and try not distracting myself, swatting at flies.

Be not afraid..

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10

Efficacious Novena to the Sacred Heart of Jesus

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Our King

Jesus King

This is our King. This is how its done, world. It is He, who we must worship, not the things of this world.

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