Monthly Archives: March 2014

Be Gone

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For longer than I can remember, I have come to accept the evil one has taken control of my dreams. Hear me out. But he can only set the stage. He can not control the content, nor the direction. I only know this because I have not been able to stop dreaming about someone in my past. This person is NEVER in my thoughts, words, desires nor is his name ever on my lips. I could care less about this particular person or where he is or doing. I forgave him and prayed for his conversion. He was someone who I loved very much and was hurt by immensely but I had forgiven him and moved on.

I KNOW the evil one is doing this because of the state of my soul at the time I was with this person. The evil one keeps trying to bring this person back into my thoughts and actions, by trying to make me do things that in my stupidity while with this person I would have done without even thinking, and I find it rather funny because the devil is showing his cards and he lost. I forgave this man for doing what he had done to me. I released him. Its obvious, the devil hasn’t gotten the memo. I had also repented deeply for being that person and our Lord is showing me, who He intended me to be. No more to chase after the things and people that used to hold me back from who He, our Lord, needed me to be. Who He created me to be. I love our Lord.

Every time I dream about this person, it’s always in his home where he can control the situation. Its his turf and I am unwelcome. It’s always the same. The house is falling down and held together by garbage that he treasured over me. He is always very plastic in his actions to me and is always waiting for someone other than me to come over and my being there is just another inconvenience. The only reason I am there ever in my dream is a mystery. Last night was different. He told me, you can stay here with me, I missed you and my response back to him, but I don’t love you that way. I don’t want to be with you.I never want to be with you.

Prayers please, that these dreams stop already. I haven’t lost any sleep over them, because our Lord is protecting me. I do love this person as if I didn’t, I would have never forgiven him nor would I pray for him and his family. But I do not want to dream about him anymore. He is NOT my dream boy and that ship sailed a long time ago.

I know I am battling Satan. I may not ever be able to defeat Satan.. but I, through Christ have defeated my sins and death. That is enough… Game over “It was you who saved us, Lord: we will praise your name without ceasing.”
Glory to God.

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Healing Well

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Its Saturday and now two days after my surgery. I want to thank all my readers for your prayers for me. Its been a wonderful couple of days spent in total prayer, while all this has been taking place.

I’ll share with you a bit…

I had planned on attending Holy Mass before my surgery on Thursday as it was scheduled for 11:00 AM. My plans did not pan out. I wanted to attend Mass, get anointed and receive our Lord only then to be shuttled away to the hospital for my surgery.

It seems our Lord had different plans. My doctor’s office called on Monday to inform me that the time had changed and I needed to be at the hospital by 5:30 AM on Thursday morning. So I made a point of getting to Holy Mass on Wednesday morning, received our Lord and was anointed before going in for all my preliminary tests. I had planned on receiving the sacrament of Confession Wednesday night and was still able to do so. I do understand that receiving the Anointing of the Sick wipes away all my sins and at that moment I was covered, but seeing that the Sacrament of Confession was available, and I knew there were things I felt I needed to say, I went.

I arrived at the church and as I began to walk into the hall, I could smell incense. I smiled as I walked in not expecting to see what I was seeing. It was our Lord in Exposition! Keep in mind, this particular church had suffered a fire at the hands of an arsonist in October and was not able to use the Sacristy. Our Lord was in Exposition on what used to be the Schools stage. As I write this now, I understand our Lord speaking to me and telling me that He is not pretending. He was never “acting” when he said “Take, eat; this is My body.” And when He had taken a cup and given thanks, He gave it to them, saying, “Drink from it, all of you for this is My blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for forgiveness of sins.”. What He is doing to me and others is not pretend. Its not an act as the world would assume it to be, but an act of God.

The Sacrament of Confession was still offered and two Priests were available. It was as if I had seen the Holy Trinity of Healing in the presence of our Lord in the Eucharist, in the Priests hearing confessions and in His words not only of Absolution of sins but in every single word He had said.

This truly is Him. In all the years I had been chasing after what I wanted to see Him to be, what I wanted Him to be, this is truly who He is. Simplicity.

I was able to spend time with Him that night before my surgery and it was beautiful. I have been in prayer ever since. When I woke up in recovery, the surgical team asked me if I needed anything and the first thing off my lips was yes! I need a Catholic Priest to bring me my Lord. I’m sure I threw them for a loop because the look on their faces was somewhat puzzled. I knew that our Lord was there with us, but I couldn’t control my tongue. Someone needed to hear what I had said..

I can’t tell you how beautiful this past few days have been. Thursday night as I lay in bed, my pain medication began to wear off and the bedroom door was closed. I couldn’t yell because the pain was rather high. I asked our Lord to please send my husband to bring me pain meds and not five seconds later, I heard my husband walking down the hall, and he entered my room to ask me if I needed anything. I knew in an instant, that was our Lord answering prayer, very quickly.

Glory to God! One more thing before I go back to resting that I need to say, and this goes for the body and soul, you never realize how sick you are until you begin to heal. When the soul can see even the slightest change for the better, the soul makes every effort to pull closer to God. When the body sees how sick it is, it makes every attempt to become healed…

Until later, God bless you all and thank you for your prayers. Keep them coming and I continue to pray for all of you! I love you!

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Lent 2014

Lent quote from Pope Francis 2014

Reflect, Repent, Regain, Rebuild….. Remain!

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