Just over a year ago, my husbands niece was born. They named her Lilly. Keep in mind one of the greatest sufferings I have had to bear is my husband just had not been converted back home at the same rate as I have. I will not go further with this. After Lilly was born, my sister-in-law decided to have my husband be her God Father. I had mixed feeling about this. I was concerned for Lilly as my husband was still very worldly. I pray for him continually and I love him very much. There is a reason our Lord gave us BOTH the grace to make it through the Annulment Process and enter into Marriage. See my post: Cohabitation And Holy Communion and after making it through this, I truly had started to grow to understand that I can not change anyone, and that only our Lord could.
I had been asking him for months, to please go to confession before becoming God Father. He continually put it off until this week I had asked him on Friday, as the Baptism was set for Sunday, did you go? He said no. He was too busy. Well, my patience had run out in this matter. I didn’t want to be a part of a sacrament that mean nothing to him as he was about to take a vital role in the spiritual life of another. I told him I would not be going. I went into the yard and began to plant flowers. (Impatiens of all things) I prayed and planted, becoming more upset that anyone could have such disregard for what they were taking on. Keep in mind, my husband is Greek Orthodox. I’m not that familiar with the faith but I have this drive in me from our Lord to ensure my husband gets to heaven. I love him very much. I know our Lord placed him in my life for a reason. I also, through my faith believe we are truly bound to our Lord and married WITH Him. It’s very painful to see one you love so dearly not allowing our Lord to love him. I was blinded my own IDEA that I could somehow control what was taking place in HIS spiritual life.
I dusted the dirt off and went inside. I changed and left, upset, for Adoration. As I sat in front of our Lord I asked Him what I could do? What should I do? I prayed. My cell phone rang and I left the Church to see what it was. It was a wrong number. I shut off the phone and went back in and began to pray again. I felt so horrible that I had distracted others. I apologized to our Lord for not remembering to turn off the phone. My shoulders drooped and I felt very deflated. I told our Lord I never wanted to embarrass Him. I never wanted to do anything that would be shameful to Him. I love Him very much. Sometimes I may try to hard and I never mean to hurt Him or anyone. I left, and headed back home.
As I entered the house, I was crying a bit as I was under a feeling of total defeat. I wasn’t sure where our Lord wanted me nor what He needed me to do. I wasn’t sure what any of this was about anymore but I resigned myself to the faith He knew what He was doing and I trust Him and His mercy. I have HOPE! Along with Faith & Love. As painful as they may all be at times, they truly are priceless.
My husband didn’t say a word and I entered back into the yard. I sat down and began to ponder. Defeated. I looked down at the flower bed I had just planted, and seen that someone had sprinkled seeds among the flowers I had planted. The seed being a sort of grass seed. At first I began to cry hard. All the work I had done was ruined. Then like that, BAM! The Parable of the Weeds among the Wheat.
I was at peace. I understood in that second, our Lord had answered my prayer. I was still a bit aggregated that someone had done this, but over time, I forgave and told my husband, I would be going Sunday to the Baptism. I knew, everything in God’s time, not mine.
Sunday came, I attended Holy Mass at our old Roman Catholic parish, with my daughters, and after we left for the Baptism. The Greek Orthodox Priest had told every what was needed and the Baptism commenced. As I watched, I became awe-struck, as my husband renounce Satan, all his works, and entered back into the faith himself, along with this little sweet child. I had never seen my husband pray. I had never seen him in the Light. Our Lord was bringing two in at the same time. One through renewal and the other as new. My heart began to fly. I was so overjoyed and thanked our Lord that He had shown me so much. After the Baptism my husband went to confession. I will not go into details as this is something I do not have the grace to write about. I can tell you there was an explosion of LOVE between my husband and I that only God could ignite. I continue to pray unceasingly for him and will always. I don’t know where this may lead him, but everything starts someplace. Like the second the weds and the wheat sprout, NO ONE knows which is which, BUT God, until it is unmistakable. That flame that I had carried for our Lord in faith, had been lit in my husband’s soul. Our Lord used the birth of a child to do this once again.. St. Augustine said it best: “Faith is to believe what you do not see; the reward of this faith is to see what you believe.”
This Friday is the Feast of the Assumption of our Blessed Mother. I can not help but already smell the Lilly’s left behind.
Glory to God. Praise be to God.
Our Lady of Mount Carmel, pray for us
St. John the Baptist, pray for us.