I promised my daughters that I would bring them something home from my Retreat this weekend. I purchased two sheep rattles on my way home. Although I knew what I was bringing them was much more than stuffed toys. What they can’t see yet, but I do clearly, is their mom is coming back with a firm guard on the lambs our Lord has given to me to give back to Him. Just as the Good Shepherd lays down His life for His sheep, so I must lay down my life for the lambs our Lord has entrusted me with, to care for until I can no longer. This is the job of a mom. This is the vocation of Motherhood. Yes, I care for all the souls placed in my life, but my top priority is for the two lambs in my own pen. As was my parents job when I was a “lamb”.
The story of my becoming aware of my conversion is one in which took place when my dad lay dying. When we are at a loss as to what we can do, our Lord is ever there to guide us. At that moment, as he was dying, I shook and prayed. Never thinking anything about it until it all became clear. We should never fear death, as we should only have fear of our Lord as we are living.
As I arrived home yesterday afternoon from the beautiful retreat, I handed my daughters their little sheep. A little while later my daughter Violet came to me as said with excitement “Mommy! It rattles!”. Immediately the words flowed back to her. I began to tell her that she should always, for the rest of her life, remember and never forget that she has received our Lord in the Eucharist. That she was in fact a “sheep”. When ever she gets lost, no matter how far she walks away from our Lord, our Lord can hear her shake from the inside. The second she becomes afraid, she should remember that our Lord always knows where she is because she has Him everywhere she goes and just like that little rattling sheep, He hears her and will lead her back home too. She should never be afraid of the Shepherd and should tell Him everything through the sacrament of Reconciliation. In the Confessional, so she knows for a fact, He healed her when she gets into the tangles or covered in burs of sin, which are poisonous. Then to never get into those tangles again but to stay close to Him. Walking His path.
“Behold, I am sending you like sheep in the midst of wolves; so be shrewd as serpents and simple as doves.”