When we forgive, it stops all the pain caused by the one you are forgiving. It does not however, clean up the mess that was made in how you have been hurt. The person you forgive can no longer cause you any more hurt. The damage is already done. Its what we choose to do with that pain that makes all the difference. When we choose to join that pain with our Lords, it becomes very easy to heal from it. Even in regards to infidelity in marriage.
Although many emotions are flying around and the soul truly feels as if it is on a roller caster it can’t seem to get off, that it doesn’t want to be on, nor asked to get on, forgiveness eases the feelings of being angry, sick, irritated, betrayed, devastated, insignificant and yes, even quieting the need to see the red flags that passed by without noticing.
Spouse sold you? Pretended they didn’t for as long as they were with you? Pretended to love you? Caused you to lose everything? Others persecuted you for it? Crucified you? Yes, our Lord is there with you as it happened to Him first.
When we forgive, we choose mercy for the soul’s we are forgiving. We are not giving them a pass. We give ourselves the pass by choosing not to become exactly that which wounded us.