This morning, I had seen a post on Facebook by a wonderful priest, with a hashtag’s  #Confession  #IGotNervousToo 

I felt compelled to write about my return to the Sacrament of Confession after not having gone for 30 years, with a photo of the Church I had attended, which was Sts. Peter and Paul, Cary IL. I will share the story below:

My first time going to confession after years, I didn’t know I was even going to confession. Something in my heart told me go to the church. SO I did. It had been about 30 years. I walked into an empty Church. No one there but a woman turning off the lights. I began to cry sitting there thinking about how miserable of a life I had been living and would never even be accepted here. I got a tap on the shoulder and it was a Priest. He sat with me for about a good hour. 20 minutes of which we just talked. Then he asked me if I would like to confess my sins. I didn’t even know what I was doing. I said yes. July 1998. It was a rocky road at first, but now? I make sure to go at least every other week. #IGotNervousToo#Confession

Tonight as I was pondering my Carmelite Lectio Divina, I was struck with awe. From the time I had returned, I had always thought that my old Parish, looked very similar to a tent on the inside. I loved that Parish and the Priest who heard my confession. It was a welcome home that I would never forget. I have written a lot in this blog about the struggles and suffering I have faced for the past 20 years, which drew me to leave there and head out on a journey, in which ever day, brought me through many sufferings but into the arms of our Lord, in a way I could never deny.

I had to go back to my post on Facebook to add:

Oh my goodness! I had always thought that this Church looked like a tent! As I pondered my Lectio Divina tonight – “Peter wants to build three tents, because it was the sixth day of the feast of tents. This was a very popular feast of six days that celebrated the gift of the Law of God and the forty years spent in the desert. ” – How I wish I could have stayed in this parish! I loved it so! But our Lord was not finished with me!  Praise be to our LORD 

Back then,  I couldn’t yet, understand the Cross.