Who Am I ??
Lets start off by telling you who I am not. I am not a theologian nor a scholar. I do not have a college degree. I’m not a doctor, lawyer, butcher, baker or candlestick maker. I’m not rich by any worldly standard. I am not currently holding down a paying job and have ZERO income outside of my husband bringing home his pay. I don’t care for television, movies or news. I left the political banter between left right and center behind. I could care less about what the latest fashions are along with the who’s who in Hollywood. If I say something that is NOT true to the Catholic Church, forgive me, because it is only out of my lack of “knowledge”. Outside of a Bible study group I had attended for over two years, I do not have formal training in scripture from an accredited school.
Taking into account, my handwriting is miserable and I have a hard time reading what I write and my spelling is another issue, this is my attempt to place my thoughts someplace, where they can be read and shared with who ever wants to read them. When our Lord really started reshaping my heart, I was in the middle of trying to become a Military and Political blogger, finding myself conflicted between the world I wanted and the one I knew our Lord was calling me to enter into with Him. You can’t fight Him. You can try but the more you hear Him, and adhere to the Truth, you find yourself just following where He needs you, as you distinctly learn the value and meaning of what Love really is. Its priceless.
I am a sinner. I am a child of God. A Catholic who returned home, running as fast as I could, back to the only Truth left in this world, breaking in my new “wineskin”. I am faithful to the magisterium and discerning The Secular Order of Our Lady of Mount Carmel, (TOC). (This October 1, 2016, I made my First Profession into TOC). I am honest and speak from my heart. I am an open book. I am a wife, a with 2 small children and one adult child, and two children no longer in this world. I live for our Lord through attending daily Holy Mass along with Eucharist Adoration. I am a former Treasurer, Mystical Rose Praesidium Of The Legion Of Mary located at St. John of the Cross Catholic Church, Lemon Grove CA. Along with Captain of the Perpetual Adoration Chapel. Along with being placed in charge of the Altar Society. I am currently working in my new Parish with the Pro Life Association, along with continuing Formation with TOC, and committing myself to the Vocation of Marriage and Motherhood. My youngest child is on the Autism Spectrum and is truly a life long challenge in which I truly have been blessed by our Lord. Its a heavy cross to carry, only in regards to the souls who don’t understand autism.
I spend most of my day with my best Friend, Teacher, Love of my soul, God, Father, Beloved, LORD Jesus Christ, in prayer. I think deeply about holy scripture, “Ponder”, and place my thoughts on paper. Thus! Peg Pondering Again. Most of my blog has been a document of what I have been walking through with our Lord in my conversion of heart. I seek no glory, praise, or honor as to give it all to our Lord. I pray it brings peace.
I am a rape survivor an forgive my attacker and pray for him. Forgiveness is lighter to carry than revenge and hate is a tarry mess that takes too much energy along with being to heavy to carry. For me not to forgive my attacker, or anyone, to me, would be equal to me sending a soul to hell, along with my own. The thought of being responsible for NOT offering forgiveness and maybe banishing someone from God, including myself, is the most frightening thought I have. It’s just not worth the risk.
“If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.” Mark 8:34
I live to serve others. I have found so much joy in this way of life. The greatest happiness I know, is to hear my children praying. I believe strongly, I have only been entrusted to take care of them as they are not mine to keep. They belong to God.
I barely survived the secular world and the poison it offered me. Through my faults, my lack of faith in God, I attempted suicide years back, waking up in an ICU, crying my eyes out and thanking God for saying to me, by allowing me to survive it, telling me NO. It’s not your time and this is not the way. You belong to me, not the evil one.
I will say until the day the Lord takes me home, do not believe for a split second that a child with a soul, created by God, through a man and a woman, is just a mass of tissue that can be tossed out like the daily trash or that there is nothing wrong with abortion. Everything is wrong with abortion and when one is performed, two lives are senselessly taken, and can never be replaced.
The person I was, is no more and I thank God daily. The soul I am now, is but by the grace of God. If ANYTHING on the pages of this blog are found in ANY WAY disobedient to the teachings of the Roman Catholic Church, to our Lord or ANYONE in the Authority of the Roman Catholic Church, tell me and it WILL be deleted. I am in love with our Lord and His Church.
(Today, July 12, 2014, I was formally received into the Third Order of Our Lady of Mount Carmel.)
disclaimer: All sins spoken by me in this blog, have been confessed beforehand, to a Catholic Priest! I HIGHLY suggest it!
My name is Peg Demetris. I welcome you to this site. May God bless everyone who enters here and know, I keep you and yours in my prayers, always.
With Christians, a poetical view of things is a duty. We are bid to color all things with hues of faith, to see a divine meaning in every event.
– Blessed Cardinal John Henry Newman