Category Archives: Mercy

National Day of Remembrance For Children Murdered by Abortion

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The largest-ever National Day of Remembrance for Aborted Children is just two days away. Saturday, September 14, 2019

Memorial services will be held at over 180 locations nationwide. Find one near you here: http://abortionmemorials.com/sites.php

If you have had an abortion or are suffering due to your partner having one, please know you are not alone. What you have done, is forgivable.  If you are Catholic, please seek our Lord in the Confessional. He will help you heal.

You can also contact Rachel’s Vineyard.

Rachel’s Vineyard is a safe place to renew, rebuild and redeem hearts broken by abortion. Weekend retreats offer you a supportive, confidential and non-judgmental environment where women and men can express, release and reconcile painful post-abortive emotions to begin the process of restoration, renewal and healing.

 

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The Violence In Society And Abortion

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How many times do we hear, “If only God would intervene __________________  (fill in the blank) wouldn’t have happened..

The problem is not God, but the refusal of God. What most don’t seem to see today, is that He has intervened. He sent His only begotten Son, who suffered, died and rose from the dead for us. The problem is not that God isn’t doing anything, but rather not everyone is listening to Him or following Him.

Can we not see how far this society has fallen into the selfishness and lack of empathy people have today for one another and all creation? Its only a symptom of a much larger problem. Who can I cheat to get ahead for my own selfish ambition is the platform for most of our politicians today. Classrooms are full of students assaulting teachers instead of learning. Elderly are beaten on the streets, and sometimes within their own homes, simply for being elderly. Foster care is full of children abandoned by parents. Churches, Synagogues & Mosques are attacked and people blame the faith instead of the lack of faith these attackers have.. Relationships and family’s have become something some change out no different than they change out their phones for a “better” one. You hear daily the call for more & more abortion on demand, because people refuse to take responsibility for their reckless behavior. And we can’t figure out why people can be so cruel to animals?

Repent and believe in the Gospel.

Today from Denver Catholic – via Archbishop Aquila:

Curtail our culture of violence by addressing abortion

 

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The Human Race And Racism

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The foundation of all racism in the world, is giving society’s the decision to choose who is, and who is not, a human being. 

 

End abortion. End Racism. Human Rights.

 

 

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Invalid Marriages

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I’m not buying the headlines today. Are Many Marriages Today Invalid? January 29th, 2005, I married my husband in Cesar’s Palace Las Vegas. Being Roman Catholic and he Greek Orthodox, it wasn’t until my serious conversion of heart, I took into account how serious of an offence this was against our Lord. We had both been married before. I love this man tremendously. Please read Cohabitation And Holy Communion, in which I have spoken about this before.

Today, after being married in the Catholic Church on May 4th, 20013, which I hold very dear to my heart and soul, we are continuing on in our marriage after a serious threat to all marriage. That being infidelity. I will not go into detail as the wounds are deep and we need time, prayers and patience to heal from this. I have forgiven my spouse and meant it. As I have also forgiven the other soul involved. We came very close to divorce. So close that we were just one day away from filing. It was pride and anger that lead to the decision to grab hold of an attorney and it was humility and love that made the decision to forgive and work through all the pain and suffering to continue on. The one thing for me that I just couldn’t stop pondering was how so many today “pretend”. Pretend everything. Marriage is not pretend. Vows are not pretend. The Church is not pretend. Our Lord is not pretend.

Back on June 3rd, the weekend before our filing was to be done, I prayed through the Immaculate Heart of Mary to our Lords Sacred Heart and I wrote:

What’s funny is, in all this divorce stuff, does a torn up piece of paper by the state mean anything to God? You can spend thousands of dollars in court to get a divorce and it can never amount to one drop of our Lord’s blood and a vow made with Him. So..Nope. I don’t believe it does. I made a vow to our Lord and Mark in the Church and I intend to keep it with God. I didn’t go through the annulment process and marry my husband in the church to have the state say your no longer married. My door will always be open for Mark to return, if he so chooses, and I pray our Lord converts his heart as He has mine, but I’m not holding my breath. So lets flush 20K down the toilet and Mark can continue to pretend he is not married. I will live still, as I know, I still am. End of story. Peace.

When I sought my attorney, so many signs were present. It was so easy to get one. It was even easy for this unemployed mother with no income to obtain a five thousand dollar retainer for them when we had been financially strapped for years. Something was wrong with this. It was far to easy and happening way to fast. This I knew in my heart was not from our Lord. I had heard in my heart that God hates divorce.

The following day, my husband moved back home with us and the process of healing began. As it is still today and will be for some time. I love him very much. As I love our Lord very much. And our Lord loves each of us first.

All I can say today, when I took my vow, I meant every word. I always intended to hold true to that vow no matter what. Even today under the serious issues we have faced and the continuing fallout from them. I said it before and I will say it again. I meant EVERY WORD of my vow to my husband and our Lord and I will never allow the state, if my husband should choose to leave and divorce me, to say that I am no longer married when it was to God, my husband and the state that I professed my vows of Marriage. Even if it should mean to live in a state of chastity and celibacy, we are called to that same chastity IN the sacrament of Marriage and being single. We are living in a world of souls playing “make believe” where nothing really matters and nothing means anything which couldn’t be farther from the Truth. The Truth is, humility, love, commitment, integrity and sincerity is needed for any Marriage to succeed. Beatitudes are to be lived. No matter what happens. That vow is also to our Lord. Look and see what our Lord said about how a man should love his wife and how a woman should love her husband and DO IT. Do it as your souls are Married to our Lord and live the vow as you are Married to our Lord. St. Thomas More, pray for us.

St. Monica pray for us.
St. Rita Of Cascia, pray for us.
Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us
Sacred Heart of Jesus, I place all my trust in you
Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on us all

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Healing Deep Wounds

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When we forgive, it stops all the pain caused by the one you are forgiving. It does not however, clean up the mess that was made in how you have been hurt. The person you forgive can no longer cause you any more hurt. The damage is already done. Its what we choose to do with that pain that makes all the difference. When we choose to join that pain with our Lords, it becomes very easy to heal from it. Even in regards to infidelity in marriage.

Although many emotions are flying around and the soul truly feels as if it is on a roller caster it can’t seem to get off, that it doesn’t want to be on, nor asked to get on, forgiveness eases the feelings of being angry, sick, irritated, betrayed, devastated, insignificant and yes, even quieting the need to see the red flags that passed by without noticing.

Spouse sold you? Pretended they didn’t for as long as they were with you? Pretended to love you? Caused you to lose everything? Others persecuted you for it? Crucified you? Yes, our Lord is there with you as it happened to Him first.

[Then Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, they know not what they do.”] They divided his garments by casting lots.

When we forgive, we choose mercy for the soul’s we are forgiving. We are not giving them a pass. We give ourselves the pass by choosing not to become exactly that which wounded us.

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Forgiveness And Family Reconciliation

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Very timely pondering from my retreat which took place on April 15 through the 17 that truly needs to be shared. May it bring healing to many.

Forgiveness and Family Reconciliation

[Adapted and reorganized from personal notes from a talk given by Fr. Peter Mary on 16 April 2016 as part of a retreat given at the El Carmelo Retreat House in Redlands, California.]

Question:

Do I have someone I need to forgive? Do I need to forgive myself?

How do I begin the process of forgiveness?

We are obligated to be merciful because God was merciful to us first.

Repay God’s mercy to us by being merciful to others.

The Lord’s Prayer (Mt 6:5-15) is explicit. Our forgiveness from the Father is conditioned upon our forgiveness of others.

St. Teresa of Avila’s Way of Perfection (chap. 36).

Defining Forgiveness:

What Forgiveness Is:

Forgiveness is act of will and intellect.

Forgiveness is a process which takes time and practice. That’s why it seems hard.

Forgiveness is a free gift.

It does not depend upon the actions or response of the offender.

It is distinct from reconciliation, a further step, which includes the offender.

What Forgiveness Is Not:

Forgiveness is separate from any need to challenge the offender’s destructive behavior.

Forgiveness does not guarantee we forget.

Forgiveness does not remove the pain.

Fruits of Forgiveness:

Forgiving leads to joyful living and peace.

Not forgiving leads to other problems.

It can lead to loneliness and isolation due to an inability to trust others.

It can destroy clear thinking.

It can destroy physical and mental health. The body and mind are connected.

Recognizing Who to forgive:

Consider the people within your own family.

Consider the people you need to forgive.

Consider the people who annoy you.

It is not possible to completely avoid people who annoy us. Trying to ignore them leads to loneliness and isolation.

We need to transform the annoyances.

Principles for Practicing Forgiveness:

Recognize you could be wrong or have misunderstood.

Take into account the difficulties the offender might have had in their life.

Weak offenders may be incapable of forgiving. Forgiveness does not depend upon the offender reciprocating.

Be careful not to limit forgiveness by placing conditions.

Recall how Jesus embraced the pain of his passion and the cross.

Good can come out of evil especially if we imitate the cross. We need to transform evil. (purification of memories is dealt by St John of the Cross in the Ascent.)

Forgive the offender immediately.

Depend upon God’s love to empower your forgiveness.

Nine Practices to Develop Forgiveness:

1. Pray for those you need to forgive.

2. Pray for your ability to forgive.

3. Receive regular confession in gratitude for God’s mercy on you.

4. Receive regular reception of the Eucharist for God’s mercy to be present within you.

5. Become more aware of a tendency to see only the bad in people and strive to see the good.

6. Imagine yourself into the other person’s situation and the pain and hurt they may have felt.

7. Avoid unreasonable expectations of yourself and others.

8. Be honest about yourself that you could be wrong.

9. Examine your conscience to recognize progress.

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Michael Voris And Limiting God – EDIT UPDATE

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What ever allegations Mr. Voris is making in regards to the NY Archdiocese, is not the reason for my posting this story. As it stands, New York archdiocese denies allegation that it sought to smear Michael Voris.  Please do not use this as a launching pad to promote more hate, allegations or discord against the Bishops, Church or anyone else. I simply sought to extend a hand to a man who seemed to be in pain. I will continue to pray for EVERYONE in this matter and will as I always do, pray for everyone. Peace. Its never good to jump to conclusions. We all need to stop and pray for one another. To love one another. I truly do, love you all.

“I give you a new commandment: love one another.
As I have loved you, so you also should love one another.
This is how all will know that you are my disciples,
if you have love for one another.”

________________________________________________

April 22, 2016

I have never been a fan of Michael Voris nor Church Militant. But I tell you from my heart, as a penitent myself, I truly respect him for this video as what he is saying is absolutely true about the power of our Lord for the worst of the worst sinners NO ONE loved or could love, but our Lord. God bless him.

Our Lord BEAUTIFULLY uses our past, to fish for souls still in the past we left behind with His grace, and in His own way. When we are open about our past and honest that it IS in the past and no longer who we are, as our Lord “makes all things new”, there is more for our Lord to use, to bring souls closer to Him. Otherwise we are “Limiting God” on what He can use and can not use.

We always have our own idea of where we think our Lord is calling us and what He is asking us to do. Our limited view says what we think, but our Lord is not limited to our view or understanding..

 

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Sheep Rattle

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I promised my daughters that I would bring them something home from my Retreat this weekend. I purchased two sheep rattles on my way home. Although I knew what I was bringing them was much more than stuffed toys. What they can’t see yet, but I do clearly, is their mom is coming back with a firm guard on the lambs our Lord has given to me to give back to Him. Just as the Good Shepherd lays down His life for His sheep, so I must lay down my life for the lambs our Lord has entrusted me with, to care for until I can no longer. This is the job of a mom. This is the vocation of Motherhood. Yes, I care for all the souls placed in my life, but my top priority is for the two lambs in my own pen. As was my parents job when I was a “lamb”.

The story of my becoming aware of my conversion is one in which took place when my dad lay dying. When we are at a loss as to what we can do, our Lord is ever there to guide us. At that moment, as he was dying, I shook and prayed. Never thinking anything about it until it all became clear. We should never fear death, as we should only have fear of our Lord as we are living.

As I arrived home yesterday afternoon from the beautiful retreat, I handed my daughters their little sheep. A little while later my daughter Violet came to me as said with excitement “Mommy! It rattles!”.  Immediately the words flowed back to her. I began to tell her that she should always, for the rest of her life, remember and never forget that she has received our Lord in the Eucharist. That she was in fact a “sheep”. When ever she gets lost, no matter how far she walks away from our Lord, our Lord can hear her shake from the inside. The second she becomes afraid, she should remember that our Lord always knows where she is because she has Him everywhere she goes and just like that little rattling sheep, He hears her and will lead her back home too. She should never be afraid of the Shepherd and should tell Him everything through the sacrament of Reconciliation. In the Confessional, so she knows for a fact, He healed her when she gets into the tangles or covered in burs of sin, which are poisonous. Then to never get into those tangles again but to stay close to Him. Walking His path.

“Behold, I am sending you like sheep in the midst of wolves; so be shrewd as serpents and simple as doves.”

 

 

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Requesting Prayers For Cathleen

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I am asking my readers to please pray for Virginia and Cathleen. Mother and daughter, both in the winter of life.

Virginia is an elderly woman who I am visiting every Monday, as I bring our Lord in the Eucharist to her. She is currently in a nursing facility and unable to care for herself. She informed me that her daughter Cathleen had been diagnosed with advanced Ovarian Cancer a year ago. She was doing much better and looked like she may survive after receiving Anointing of the Sick. Last week as I visited Virginia, she had advised me that her daughter had called her and told her she was not doing very well again and didn’t think she would be able to see her again as she believed her time in exile was almost over and believed our Lord would be taking her very soon.

I had put out a prayer request on facebok last week, seeking prayers for them both. As I visited Virginia today, Cathleen is still with us but still in need of our prayers.

I beg you, in your charity, please remember them both in your prayers. Along with all women who suffer with Ovarian Cancer. Thank you.

 

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AMORIS LAETITIA – Read It

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Its best to read it and all of it, along with all the actual documents the  Popes write,  than to read what the main stream media wants you to think it says. Its also a good idea to pray to our Lord and ask Him for the gift of understanding so you can see what is being said with your entire heart and not just what you want to see.

 

Please see here:

POST-SYNODAL APOSTOLIC EXHORTATION
AMORIS LAETITIA
OF THE HOLY FATHER
FRANCIS
TO BISHOPS, PRIESTS AND DEACONS
CONSECRATED PERSONS
CHRISTIAN MARRIED COUPLES
AND ALL THE LAY FAITHFUL
ON LOVE IN THE FAMILY

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Don’t Run Away – Be Not Afraid

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I find it beautiful that when our Lord makes known His presence, its after a time of reflecting that we are able to put it all together and say without a doubt, after He has already been in the moment we are experiencing, I know that was you Lord.  He makes it very clear by doing this, that we are not to cling to the moment, nor the people in it with us, but rather too Him  and understand that He truly is always with us, sometimes hidden, when we forget He is in the Tabernacle and in His time, we come to see Him in many different ways in our lives.

Imagine being the soldiers at the tomb during His glorious resurrection. Imagine the anxiety of the soldiers who at one point were simply doing their job and the very next were faced with something so profound, the only thing they could do besides face it, was to run in fear. Imagine the fear that would cause a hardened trained solder to abandon his post. Imagine knowing that you are a soldier appointed to guard a post and leaving that post meant absolute death for not following the orders of your superiors.

Through my entire awareness of my conversion of heart, I have been presented with so many forms of anxiety and it was only when I learned how to depend on our Lord for everything that that the anxiety’s I was facing became nothing more than temptations to run away from the cross our Lord was asking me to carry with Him. Many times through this, when the pressure was at its greatest and I just couldn’t take any more of the pain I was seeing in others, that they never even noticed in themselves, and in the pain it was causing me to see it, I would be tempted to toss it all aside and run away. Anywhere away from it all. When we do that, we find out very quickly that no matter where we run to, its already there too. The reason its already there is because its our Lord calling you to help Him. Calling you to cling to Him. Calling you to pick up that cross of daily life and walk through all the destruction and misery that is attacking you, to walk through with Him, the valley of the shadow of death and into Life. Life in Him and with Him.

There is nothing more peaceful that a soul can do than to call out to our Lord while in the midst of the turmoil with your entire heart, calling to Him: “Jesus I trust in You”. He always answers as He is already there. “Be not afraid”.  To the true believer, all the heavy fog of anxiety (fight or flight) and despair (run away) blows away and is replaced by His calm (fight for Him). If you are one with Him, handing Him all of it and not clinging to what you can’t let go of, you are able to see Him as the Storm that is raging all around and He pulls you into His Eye where there is silence, peace and joy. Like a hurricane, in the eye of the storm there is always calm. Its what is on the outside of the eye that is being blown about and scattered. Its not to say we don’t enter into the turbulence that surrounds, but we know we are anchored in Him and we have Him as our Life line back to the calm, in order to help those overcome by their own fears of destruction and anxiety’s of daily life.

Keep me as the apple of your eye;

hide me in the shadow of your wings – Psalm 17:8

How do we stay in the Eye of God? Love. We don’t run away. We don’t leave our post. We face all things with faith in Him. We walk through our lives as He on the via dolorosa with Him until we come to the end, in which He says “It is finished”.

Up until yesterday my husband and I had been experiencing a rough patch in our relationship. I had been struggling a lot lately with not being able to see our Lord in those within my own home and particularly in my husband. Much like the woman who went to the tomb, I know our Lord is here someplace, I just couldn’t find Him. As I wrote yesterday, I spoke about how my morning offering was very different. Something beautifully different. Before my husband left for work, he hugged me and smiled. For the first time in many years, it was genuine. It was a genuine hug in love and not just because that was what a husband did. Its been very difficult but our Lord has given my husband so much grace and I can see Him working through him.  I can see our Lord working in him, trying to wake him up, but I had not seen my husband turn to Him and say yes Lord. That smile on his face was one I had not seen for some time and when he left, all I wanted to do was to see that smile when he came back. We must always remember that even though we can’t see, through faith, we trust Him, no matter how painful it may be.

This morning as I write this, after the events of yesterday, after of the events I have faced to date, after it has all unfolded and the very moment is now memory, the entire Resurrection of our Lord at that moment outside of His tomb, is in my heart in that hug and smile, and now I can see and shout with all certainty in JOY, “‘Rabbuni!’” I know with my entire heart, that was you. I picked up this cross, and all of them in this life that I give completely to You, with You and carry them all in love with You. Sacred Heart of Jesus, I trust in You.

Praise, glory and honor to You O Lord, for all time and eternity. Amen

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So Much Suffering

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This morning, the second I opened my eyes and began to pray, I was filled with a desire to take up to our Lord all the suffering of my family, friends and enemies. I began my Morning Offering and added to it, the suffering of those who do not know You Lord and the suffering of those who do not know how to place their suffering with Yours on the Cross.

I prayed:

Sweet Jesus, through the Immaculate Heart of Mary to your most Sacred Heart, I offer you all my prayers, my works, my joys, my sorrows, my suffering and those of my friends, enemies, and those who do not know you nor how to join theirs too You and unite them all to the Blessed Sacrament in the Tabernacles throughout the entire world, offered in the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass for all the intentions of Your most Sacred Heart, for all the intentions of our Holy Father Pope Francis, for the Holy Souls in purgatory and for the conversion of hearts. Amen

I pray the morning offering every day as I open my eyes but there was something special about this morning. Something different. TO truly unite the suffering of others who do not know Him, was something that burned with me and filled me with His peace.  As I got out of bed and ran through a few things this morning, my husband woke and came to me with something that bothered him. I hugged him and remembered that prayer this morning and knew that embrace with him, was the peace he was looking for. He didn’t carry on about it but was able to let it go and get on with his day. He was smiling when he left for work this morning and it is my desire for him to return with that same smile.

Last night, we spent the evening with friends who came in from out of town. There was a lot of anxiety in a few of the conversations from a few souls talking to me about how they were looking for peace in their lives.  In one conversation that I had with a friend of my mother in law, as she tried to speak to me about different things, truly pagan things, my mother in law kept chiming in with things that just kept upsetting the conversation we were trying to have and at every turn I could see her misery in her own life. I knew that no matter what I would say to her to try and bring her peace, was not going to happen as she just wasn’t open to peace. In order to have peace, we must be open to receiving it. That doesn’t mean we no longer offer it, we offer it more intensely. As she continued, I was able to interject our Lords own words which took the negative running rabid and tossed it off the cliff. The conversation became easy and ended with her friends stating it was time to leave.

There was something else going on here last night and I could see people I knew for many years looking for something but in all the wrong places. Not only could I see that they couldn’t find our Lord’s body, but they couldn’t even see His tomb. They couldn’t remember His name. They couldn’t remember what He had done and looked for Him, His peace and joy in places where only an essence of it was left, because someone attached a “New and Improved” label on it, and not in His fullness. They didn’t want to find His body, his tomb, His suffering in our lives.  They had forgotten the simple things and were tied up in things that can never bring peace and joy.  When we are suffering in the slightest way, we must remember that even what we call our suffering is not ours, but our Lord’s on His Cross for you and His call to come back home to Him.

I prayed Divine Mercy Novena with my daughter when we arrived back home and found consolation in who the fifth day was to be dedicated to.

Today bring to Me the Souls of those who have separated themselves from My Church” and immerse them in the ocean of My mercy. During My bitter Passion they tore at My Body and Heart, that is, My Church. As they return to unity with the Church My wounds heal and in this way they alleviate My Passion.”  

There are so many Lord. There are so many. Mostly those who do not want to grip the Cross rather seek to grab onto anything but the Cross. May the suffering souls in this world, learn to unite all with You O Lord.

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The Fifteen Mysteries

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“Our Lord spent 30 years of His life obeying, three years teaching, three hours redeeming! But how did He redeem? Suppose a golden chalice is stolen from an altar and beaten into a large ash tray. Before that gold can be returned to the altar, it must be thrown into a fire, where the dross is burned away; then the chalice must be recast, and finally blessed and restored to its holy use. Sinful man is like that chalice which was delivered over to profane uses. He lost his Godlike resemblance and his high destiny as a child of God. So our blessed Lord took unto Himself a human nature, making it stand for all of us, plunged it into the fires of Calvary to have the dross of sin burned and purged away. Then, by rising from the dead, He became the new head of the new humanity, according to which we are all to be patterned. The cross reveals that unless there is a Good Friday in our lives, there will never be an Easter Sunday. Unless there is a crown of thorns, there will never be the halo of light. Unless there is the scourged body, there will never be a glorified one. Death to the lower self is the condition of resurrection to the higher self. The world says to us, as it said to Him on the cross: ‘Come down, and we will believe!’ But if He came down, He never would have saved us. It is human to come down; it is divine to hang there. A broken heart, O Saviour of the world, is love’s best cradle! Smite my own, as Moses did the rock, that Thy love may enter in!” – Venerable Archbishop Fulton Sheen (The Fifteen Mysteries)

A blessed and glorious Easter to all.

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May our Lord Jesus Christ, roll away the stones from our hearts and those of the entire world this Easter and replace them with His Flesh and Blood. Sacred Heart of Jesus, I place all my faith, trust and hope in You through the Immaculate Heart of our Holy Mother Mary. Amen

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Thank You Mama: Holy Saturday

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“And Mary kept all these things, reflecting on them in her heart”

Just as our Lord was created for this, Mama, as were you. I thank our Lord for the gift of you, Immaculate Conception, to strengthen us, not only in that dreaded time of darkness, but in all time. On His Cross, as He spoke the words, “Woman, behold thy son. Son, behold thy mother.”, you “O most beautiful flower of Mt. Carmel, fruitful vine, splendor of Heaven”, became our Mother.

From the Annunciation and the moment of your yes, it was your yes that carry’s all your children through the dark and into the Light of your Son, as your Son, our Lord, carries us through to our Father.

Thank you Mama, our Mother, O Most Beautiful Woman who the Holy Spirit had already descended upon to strengthen the Children of God in our days of darkness. Happy Mother’s Day. I love you.

I pray for all souls today, who do not know our Lord or what He has done. I pray Mama through your intercession, that all souls pull closer to listen, repent and to believe Him and in Him. “And the One seated on the throne said, “Behold, I make all things new.”

 

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Holy Week Direct From Heaven

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I have written quite often about my conversion concerning the day my dad entered into eternal life. It was September 23, 1996, the feast of St. Padre Pio and my dad had been the glue that held my family, brothers and sisters and myself together. Since his death, many have left the Catholic faith and went off doing what ever. In all honestly, since I moved out to California I had lost contact with most of them and focused on what I had asked in that prayer.

The night my dad died, as he lay dying, I prayed that he would talk to our Lord and get me back home to Him. Here we are, 2016 and after extensive repenting and getting back in communion, I will be making my first Profession in the Third Order Of Carmel, TOC on October 1.

This morning at Holy Mass, during the Homily, my priest had told us that the main objective of our duties this Holy Week, was New Evangelization to those within our own Family’s who had left the faith. I sat with my head hung low as I knew this job that had just been presented to me, would be extremely difficult, as my brothers and sisters in my own family, along with nieces and nephews and even my own oldest daughter, have left the faith. Along with cousins, and others. Outside of an older sister of mine, the entire family stopped believing in Him and the faith we all grew up into and went their own ways. It has been extremely painful for me in many ways as I have been viewed by them as the crazy one. One never to be listened to. From the onset of my Conversion of Heart, I can not stop listening to our Lord, nor will I. I left them all and continued to cling to our Lord and the only Truth left in this world. And here we are.

This morning after Holy Mass, I took our Lord in the Eucharist to a few souls in the Nursing Home and had a conversation with an elderly friend of mine named Lilly, who is also a professed member of my Carmelite family.

We spoke about the topic of New Evangelization to family, and I had expressed to her that the only way anyone would ever listen to me, in my own family or home, was if I were dead. After leaving her, I prayed and realized I am dead to them. The person they knew no longer exists and they still won’t listen.

I arrived at home and the mail man had come. I noticed two packages and brought them in without even looking to see who they were addressed for. I assumed they were for my daughter and husband. As I was placing them on the table, I noticed my name on one of them. The return address was my sister whom I don’t talk to much anymore. I opened the package and cried when I seen what it was. Here in a package addressed to me was a message never intended for me, but for all my brothers and sisters who have left the faith. Directly from my dad.

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Inside the box I found my dad’s First Holy Communion Certificate dated May 21, 1936 along with his personal prayer book. I read the letter attached from my sister which stated, she had found these in an envelop with my dad’s personal items, marked specifically, “Important Papers”. I knew just how important they are but unfortunately, my sister didn’t understand who they were meant for. This package was a direct message from my dad to my brothers and sisters who had left the faith. The “Important Paper” with your name on it. Remember YOUR Baptism. Remember YOUR First Holy Communion. Remember YOUR Confirmation. Remember OUR Lord. Remember OUR First Love. Return to Him. There is nothing else on the face of the earth more important than our faith. I also knew my dad needed me share this with them. They refuse to listen to me, I pray they listen to him. I pray they return to our Lord also. I pray all my Catholic Family return back home to Him, with their entire heart, mind, soul and strength. There is no greater Love than His for you. Repent. The door is open. Homecoming is just one confession away. I love you and I pray for all my brothers and sisters. St. Constantine the Great, pray for us.

All praise, glory and honor to our Lord, Jesus Christ. Amen.

EDIT TO ADD: After I had written this today, a tweet came across from the USCCB that just filled me with our Lord’s love.

 

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From tonight’s Divine Office: Evening Prayer

“Listen, O daughter, give ear to my words:
forget your own people and your father’s house.
So will the king desire your beauty:
He is your lord, pay homage to him.”

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Contemplating The Lord’s Passion

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Tuesday March 8, as I was on my way to visit a few souls I have been bringing our Lord in the Eucharist, who reside in a Nursing Home, I had my radio on in my car and heard a song I hadn’t heard for some time. “Make You Feel My Love” by Bob Dylan.  As I listen to this song, various stages of our Lords passion came to my mind and heart, in such a way as I knew He was sharing His Life with me as I deeply seek to share every aspect of mine with Him…

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When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I could offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love

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When the evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one there to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love

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I know you haven’t made your mind up yet
But I would never do you wrong
I’ve known it from the moment that we met
No doubt in my mind where you belong

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I’d go hungry, I’d go black and blue
I’d go crawling down the avenue
There’s nothing that I wouldn’t do
To make you feel my love

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The storms are raging on the rollin’ sea
And on the highway of regret
The winds of change are blowing wild and free
You ain’t seen nothing like me yet

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I could make you happy, make your dreams come true
Nothing that I wouldn’t do
Go to the ends of the earth for you
To make you feel my love

And its as simple as saying, yes Lord and doing everything He tells you. Once you know Him, you see Him everywhere…

Beautiful refection this morning from Saint Leo the Great from Divine Office

Second reading
From a sermon by Saint Leo the Great, pope
Contemplating the Lord’s passion

True reverence for the Lord’s passion means fixing the eyes of our heart on Jesus crucified and recognizing in him our own humanity.

The earth — our earthly nature — should tremble at the suffering of its Redeemer. The rocks — the hearts of unbelievers — should burst asunder. The dead, imprisoned in the tombs of their mortality, should come forth, the massive stones now ripped apart. Foreshadowings of the future resurrection should appear in the holy city, the Church of God: what is to happen to our bodies should now take place in our hearts.

No one, however weak, is denied a share in the victory of the cross. No one is beyond the help of the prayer of Christ. His prayer brought benefit to the multitude that raged against him. How much more does it bring to those who turn to him in repentance. Ignorance has been destroyed, obstinacy has been overcome. The sacred blood of Christ has quenched the flaming sword that barred access to the tree of life. The age-old night of sin has given place to the true light.

The Christian people are invited to share the riches of paradise. All who have been reborn have the way open before them to return to their native land, from which they had been exiled. Unless indeed they close off for themselves the path that could be opened before the faith of a thief.

The business of this life should not preoccupy us with its anxiety and pride, so that we no longer strive with all the love of our heart to be like our Redeemer, and to follow his example. Everything that he did or suffered was for our salvation: he wanted his body to share the goodness of its head.

First of all, in taking our human nature while remaining God, so that the Word became man, he left no member of the human race, the unbeliever excepted, without a share in his mercy. Who does not share a common nature with Christ if he has welcomed Christ, who took our nature, and is reborn in the Spirit through whom Christ was conceived?

Again, who cannot recognize in Christ his own infirmities? Who would not recognize that Christ’s eating and sleeping, his sadness and his shedding of tears of love are marks of the nature of a slave?

It was this nature of a slave that had to be healed of its ancient wounds and cleansed of the defilement of sin. For that reason the only-begotten Son of God became also the son of man. He was to have both the reality of a human nature and the fullness of the godhead.

The body that lay lifeless in the tomb is ours. The body that rose again on the third day is ours. The body that ascended above all the heights of heaven to the right hand of the Father’s glory is ours. If then we walk in the way of his commandments, and are not ashamed to acknowledge the price he paid for our salvation in a lowly body, we too are to rise to share his glory. The promise he made will be fulfilled in the sight of all: Whoever acknowledges me before men, I too will acknowledge him before my Father who is in heaven.

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Word And Deed Working Together In Harmony

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Today’s message from Pope Francis comes after a morning I have spent bringing our Lord in the Eucharist to a Nursing Facility.

As I heard our Holy Fathers message, I was reminded of another video I posted this morning on my Facebook page. One where I did not see a Rhythmic Gymnast, but rather how word, deed and our Lord’s grace come together to fulfill the needs of the weakest among us. We should be “flexible” not “ridged” to His voice, and His grace, willing to say yes to Him, without thinking of self first,  at a moments notice. Allowing Him to do the work, though us in exile. Just as we do the work in exile, through Him. Praise, glory and honor to our Lord.

 

Pope Francis: God is real, too many Christians are fake

 

 

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UPDATE 5: Water Well Needed For Mission In Africa – THANK YOU Lord!

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Fr. Joe & The Gofundme donation online link is working again if you would like to continue to donate to help family’s truly in need.

See Here: Father Joe’s Water Well

Thank you so much for helping and may our Lord bless you always

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“Thank you to all for the outpouring of money and effort on behalf of Father Joe’s parish. Recently we have been blessed to have been introduced to a contractor who has done charitable work in Kenya for similar communities. By God’s grace fresh water may soon be a reality at a fraction of our original budget. We are presently linking this fund to an account for transfer to Father Joe and there is a temporary hold on contributions for a few days. It will be open again very soon. Thank you for your continued generosity and prayers.”

Praise, glory and honor to God for prayers answered!

I was thirsty and you gave me drink”

Fr. Joseph Mungai was visiting the USA for a short time and is in need for his mission in Africa. His parishioners are in need of a well. They do not have clean drinking water and help is needed. Women must travel a 5k distance to a water source and often times are attacked on the way. Sometimes forced into paying for the water with their bodies. Water for sex has become common practice through the region as  obtaining clean drinking water is very hard to come by and unscrupulous vendors are not in short supply.

I have a very serious request for my readers. If you are able to donate to help build a well, for family’s in Africa, please help our cause. EDIT TO ADD:

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There are no coincidences. This is a painting that has hung on my wall for close to 7 years. “The Woman At The Well”. Please help us to build the well for clean drinking water in this mission so the women are not raped and forced into providing sex in return for clean water. I am a rape survivor. It was our Lord who taught me how to survive it, lead me through it and forgive the person who had done this. It is paramount for me to ensure no other woman be forced to endure this selfish act. For the price it would cost you to have your car detailed or your dog groomed, you can save a life and provide clean drinking water for many souls in need. Please consider donating or at least pray, for souls to come forward to build this well. Share this with someone who may be able to afford to donate.

“Lent is a time for reconsidering our feelings, for letting our eyes be opened to injustice, to open our hearts to those suffering.” – Pope Francis

According to the CDC, over 1 billion people are currently forced to use water from hazardous resources for cooking, bathing and consumption. Approximately half of this vulnerable population are children.

 

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Any amount would be appreciated. God bless you. If you can not donate, please share this story to help spread the word about the need for this well.

If you would like to donate online, please go to: Father Joe’s Water Well on GoFundMe

 He is also available on Twitter, if  you have any questions to ask him: @frjoemungai  #YearOfMercyWell

If you would like to send a donation, please do so. Donations can be made to:

Sr Larraine c/o Year of Mercy Well

11714 Main Street, Middletown Ky 40357 

Contact: 502 – 356-9281 or Larraine@waterwithblessings.org

The video below is part of Father Mungai’s community who are definitely in great need of fresh water.

 

St. Kateri Tekakwitha, pray for us. Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on us all.

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Operation Storm Heaven

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This is a photo from Life Magazine of the 1961 Rosary Crusade that took place in San Francisco through the work of Servant of God, Father Patrick Peyton .

Catholic Action For Faith and Family is the place to sign up for Operation Storm Heaven.

From their link: SIGN UP HERE

During this Holy Year of Mercy, let us join Cardinal Burke in a spiritual crusade to storm Heaven with prayers to dispel confusion and:

bring Hope to souls and minds throughout America and the world;
provide spiritual support in the struggle against the temptations of discouragement;
to protect our families and our Faith;
to stop the advance of evil in our society;
and to flood souls with Grace and Light and Truth.

Also, see the interview here of Cardinal Burke discussing Operation Storm Heaven

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Walk For Life Charity Event

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Walk For Life!

This weekend, the Parish I belong to and our Pro Life Ministry held our Annual “Baby Shower” Charity Event to collect items for women and children in need. We hold this event every year in hopes of collecting items for women who have decided not to abort their children and donate the items to various Pro Life Pregnancy Centers in the area.

As the event ended yesterday, I volunteered to bring some items to Pregnancy Care Center east of San Diego , in El Cajon California. They are currently trying to build another location to provide pro-life services for women in the southern region of San Diego.

As I arrived with the donated items, they were holding their open house and truly didn’t have a place to put all the donated items. I advised them that I would be more then willing to return today to drop them off.

They normally were not open on Mondays, but in ringing the bell, I was greeted by the Executive Director, Josh McClure who was able to graciously take the donated things. He advised me of their upcoming charity event. One in which he hopes to get as many Groups to walk as Groups to raise funds to build the new facility to take care of the woman who do choose life. The date of this event happens to fall on the date that I had lost my own child to abortion. I could not let this go without sharing this event and I pray they can help as many women as they can, NOT to make the decision I did. If you are in the San Diego area, I please ask you and your entire group to join in this wonderful event to help save a life! It truly is a matter of life and death to our precious children in the womb.

From their site:

Walk For Life: 

March 12 @ 8:30 am12:00 pm

Each spring, Pregnancy Care Clinic holds an annual, “stroller to wheelchair” Walk for Life fundraiser. Participants obtain sponsors who pledge a total amount for walker’s participation in the event. This, in turn, helps raise important funds for the ongoing operation of the Clinic. On the day of the event, walkers will gather at Santee Lakes and Walk for Life while praying to end abortion in this country. Those not able to attend can walk on their own wherever they are-so this is truly something everyone can do. Not only is the Walk a fun and fit way to raise money for the Clinic, but it also makes a statement, letting the world know that the Culture of Life is alive and well in San Diego County! Please join us immediately following the Walk for a celebratory picnic. THE HOT DOGS ARE ON US! Call (619)442-4357 or email Robin Brust for more information.

V.I.P. (Very Important Points)

  • Saturday – March 12, 2016 at Santee Lakes 9310 Fanita Parkway, Santee CA 92071   Registration begins at 8:30 AM. Walk begins at 9:30 AM.
  • Directions: From the 125 & 52 freeways, exit Mission Gorge Road, heading east. Turn left on Carlton Hills Blvd, then left on Carlton Oaks Drive. Turn right on Fanita Parkway. Entrance will be on the left.
  • Parking is prepaid for participants. Registration is at the north end of  Lake 5 in the picnic structure.
  • It’s a 2 mile walk (2 laps around the lake). Your sponsors will support you with a single, generous, tax-deductible gift for your participation in the walk instead of being sponsored per mile.
  • If it rains, bring an umbrella—the event will not be cancelled. If you are unable to come to the walk, no problem. You may turn in your form and walk on your own whenever and wherever it is convenient.
  • Each person raising $200 in pledges will receive a free Walk t-shirt.
  • Each person raising $500 in pledges will receive a free Pregnancy Care Clinic Sweat Shirt.
  • Recruit a sponsored walker and receive a Precious Feet pin plus be entered in the raffle drawing for a Kindle Fire Tablet.
  • Recruiter with the highest number of on-line registered sponsored walkers on their team wins an Amazon Fire TV receiver unit.
  • After the walk, stick around for a picnic with your church or team.
  • Click Here to register online and create your own Walk Fundraising Page.
  • Click Here to download a pledge form to register your sponsors.

We’re cooking the hot dogs – you bring the chips!

 

 

 

 

 

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9 Days For Life – Day 8

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For today’s Novena please CLICK HERE

Life Matters: Domestic Violence

The Angelus

The Angel of the Lord declared to Mary:
And she conceived of the Holy Spirit.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee; blessed art thou among women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of
our death. Amen.

Behold the handmaid of the Lord: Be it done unto me according to Thy word.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee; blessed art thou among women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of
our death. Amen.

And the Word was made Flesh: And dwelt among us.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee; blessed art thou among women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of
our death. Amen.


Pray for us, O Holy Mother of God, that we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.

Let us pray:

Pour forth, we beseech Thee, O Lord, Thy grace into our hearts; that we, to whom the incarnation of Christ, Thy Son, was made known by the message of an angel, may by His Passion and Cross be brought to the glory of His Resurrection, through the same Christ Our Lord.

Amen

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9 Days For Life – Day 7

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For today’s Novena please CLICK LINK
The only healing I have found, is through our Lord Jesus Christ and the much needed Sacraments He gave to us to act on and grab hold of the mercy and forgiveness He is offering to each and every soul on earth.

Please read my story here, originally written on JANUARY 23, 2012. Slipping Away – Post Abortion Syndrome

There is a bit of a discussion of late in regards to the graphic images being used of the innocent children taken through abortion. If you have read the link I posted in regards to my story, you will understand that seeing the images of aborted children is horrific. What is more horrific, is not seeing them at all in public, and still seeing them in every day actions. It brings to light the grim reality of what we are doing.

I will post a comment I made yesterday, before I seen what today’s Novena contained. There is a Light in the dark.

Ask yourself, what would happen if we removed the graphic image of our Lord Crucified from our faith because it was to gruesome? What does that image of our Lord invoke? What does the thought of His battered and bruised body cause us to do? Repent. The second we remove Christ Crucified from our worship is the second its no longer Him and He is reduced to a sanitized idea of what He did for us. Its no different for the smallest among us. The reality’s of abortion have been removed from society and its turned into a sanitized idea, no longer seen as the murder of an innocent child. They need to be seen and heard in entirety for the reality to set in. I am post abortive. Before the images came to be used, I would see them anyway as I struggled from time to time with the sin I had committed as I see it now as a way for our Lord to being me to repent deeper and understand the MERCY He is offering through His forgiveness. The images are not doing a disservice nor are they a lack of respect for the children taken. By ending Abortion completely and making it unthinkable to do, they give glory to our Lord for the slaughter of the innocence finally ending.

Lord, I remember You Crucified as I see the children of abortion. May their images bring an end to the slaughter of the least among us. May they bring about repentance to the providers and to all effected by abortion. May these same souls feel the gentleness and compassion in your healing touch and they reach out in need for You. Amen

The USCCB has further links on this Novena for Help and Healing

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9 Days For Life – Day 5

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For today’s Novena, please CLICK LINK

As a survivor of a violet crime, I have seen what can take place to a person first hand, who has fallen deeply into things that carry no respect for self, nor others through actions that no human being with the fear of God could ever carry out. It was by the grace of our Lord that I survived, and by the grace of our Lord that I could forgive and move closer to Him, as I know it was Him who carried me out and through it. It is that same grace today that I praise Him. It is that same grace He offers to ALL of us, to be accepted or denied. Forgiveness does not mean we allow violent criminals to walk free from the harm they have caused, but allows the healing of that crime that was committed to begin.

I can never support the death penalty as it does not open a door for repentance in this life, for the survivor or the criminal. Nor does taking the life of another take away the harm, pain and suffering it has caused. It happened and I have to live with it. The only recourse, be it for me or them, is to forgive them so both can keep walking with the same ability to turn toward our Lord and seek forgiveness through repentance. It is not for me to ponder nor spend any time worrying if my attacker has repented or not, as we both, one day will have to face our Lord. I pray for my attacker as I pray for everyone. “Father, forgive them, they know not what they do.”

I have written about my attack and the early aftermath here. Please read: The Power Of Forgiveness

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Mercy In Motion

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“I was naked and you gave me clothing” – Matthew 25:36

This is #MercyInMotion

Click link below
WATCH: NYC subway rider gives shirt off his back to shivering man

Please see Moments of Mercy HERE

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Epiphany

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Our family began this day, blessing the door to our home….

20 + C + M + B + 16

Please see: Chalking the Door: Blessing Your Home for Epiphany

The family gathers to ask God’s blessing on their home and on those who live in or visit the home. It is an invitation for Jesus to be a daily guest in our home, our comings and goings, our conversations, our work and play, our joys and sorrows.

A traditional way of doing this is to use chalk to write above the home’s entrance, 20 + C + M + B + 16. The letters C, M, B have two meanings. They are the initials of the traditional names of the three magi: Caspar, Melchior, and Balthazar. They also abbreviate the Latin words Christus mansionem benedicat, “May Christ bless the house.” The “+” signs represent the cross and 2016 is the year.

Leading up to this beautiful Solemnity, yesterday I was able to hang up a few items in our freshly painted hallway. We had been without any doors on our rooms for a few years and my husband surprised me a few weeks ago, by purchasing some and having them hung. Without my knowing about it. A few days before installation of the doors, “out of the blue”, I decided that the hallway was painted way to dark and needed a fresh coat of white paint. As I informed my husband of the decision to paint, he chuckled thinking I knew he had someone coming to install new doors. I did not know and went about painting. When I finished, he had informed me of what he was planning.

My girls before bedtime often forget that we pray before bed as they are captivated by the world around them. We needed something to remind my girls that before bed, we pray the rosary together. A visual they would see besides my constant calling to them for prayer. We did this in the hallway leading to the bedrooms.

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Close to three years ago, I had received a gift from my Formation Director, of a hand drawn Manuscript Illustration of the Magnificat from a Carmelite Nun, from our home in Aylesford Priory. She had given it to me as a welcome gift upon entering into the Third Order Of Carmel. I was in awe at the gift, but I had never known exactly where I should hang it. It sat on my dresser for as many years and I found myself asking our Blessed Mother what I should do. Last night, it all came together…

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I knew at once, it belonged above the Rosary’s we would use to pray together with.

A few months back, I was asked to make a Rosary by a friend. It had been a while since I had made one,and my hands and fingers usually didn’t work well with the motions it takes to create them. I said yes anyway. I also told him God willing, I would do it for him. I was able to make one, and the make more, and more and more. Its turned into a beautiful little calling to do this work. Especially since its difficult for my hands to do this, but while I am creating them, I am praying them, and focusing on our Lord and not my hands, but His. The little rosary I had made for a friend, turned into a Ministry in which I have sent them to city’s across the USA, to Africa, Malaysia, and other parts of the world.

All from a simple yes to God.

There are many more pieces that I can place into this story today, but as our Holy Mother did, I feel a need to do also. To ponder them in my heart. Not in fear of how the last twenty of so years of our Lords converting my heart have come together in this life. Nor the journey in searching for Him, but in Awe of the Epiphany.

“May Christ bless the house.”

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New Year, New Life

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Welcome 2016! As just as this past year, glory praise and honor to our Lord for allowing us all to live to see it come and 2015 go. To be able to be charitable to the least among us and to share thoughts and experiences with you all.

The health concerns I had, are no longer a concern and to God be the glory. All the results of my tests came back and cleared me for any concern for serious illness, although painful muscle spasms in the bile ducts are to blame for a multitude of problems I have experienced for a few years now. Its a condition know as SOD <— See the link. All controllable with the correct medication. I pray for souls who also have this condition as its not easy to detect and family often times lose patience with you when the tests you undergo come back negative but the pain and miserable condition of your life in this pain and suffering, continues.

With this new year comes new life for me. A life now, that has placed all the issues of medical concern behind with hopes of living an even more a deeper life in Christ. I pray now, for greater changes in my home life as my children are becoming older and feel a bigger need to up our family prayer life. As of now, my children & I pray the Rosary daily and we actually look forward to this time we are granted to pray together. I feel a need to introduce Divine Office to them, just Vespers to start, before we pray the Rosary to together. That is my goal for 2016. To help my children learn the faith in a deeper, lasting way, to help them in their lives to come.

As we begin 2016, I have come to realize this year and the years to come, have nothing to do with me and need to be dedicated through the service of our Lord for others. Use me Lord, and do with me as You see fit. All glory, praise and honor is Yours. Amen

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Outrage And Offending

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The words we don’t hear enough today, backed up by action. “I’m sorry” and “I forgive you”.

The entire world today seems to be on an “Escalator”. The anger and outrage at everything is so thick, you can see it like a fog rolling in, forgetting that not every “escalator” goes up when we get on.

Newton’s Third Law: For every action there is an equal and opposite re-action. Looking at this today in society, one can easily assess that for every action there is blown out of proportion over re-action.

“You offended me” is the phrase of the day and one that can be only followed by “I’m calling my attorneys”. Or, “You don’t deserve to live because you offended me”. That last line can be seen from the gang ridden streets of Chicago all the way to the Middle East, as its no different. Society as a whole, is staring to mimic a perpetual sandbox fight of six year olds in which everyone throws their sucker in the sand and stomps away to get the older brother to beat up the perceived evil kid who called someone a name or dare to knock down a “sand castle” created.

To be “Offended” is to be resentful or annoyed, typically as a result of a perceived insult. What is behind that? Pride. A deep rooted, nasty, maggoty pride that needs to be cut out completely. To do this takes humility.

When I hear souls today try to use the key trigger words like, Crusades, Molestation by Priests, Inquisition and the anti-Catholic mantra of the day, as a means of looking for anything they can grasp, as a means to make the entire faith look bad, or offend me personally, I pity them for the simple fact of what they can not see, that my faith isn’t based on the mistakes nor sins, little or big, of anyone. My faith is built on and in, the Love that Jesus Christ has for us all. On His cross, the words that left His lips, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”.

What comes with forgiveness? Forgiveness is the biggest, baddest weapon on the face of this earth. There is nothing stronger then it when it is given for and out of love for the other. It cuts to the heart of the problem and allows two souls to speak and not scream. It immediately deescalates all situations in which the soul can be placed in when it is received from the party it is given to. When it is not received, the soul giving it, not only places it firmly in our Lords hands, but receives the peace needed from our Lord to continue without any need for the receiver to acknowledge the forgiveness given as the soul understand it has done all it could and peace is achieved.

May our Lord bring His peace this Christmas, to all who seek it, through humility, in saying we are sorry, showing we are sorry and accepting the forgiveness that is given.

Blessed Teresa of Calcutta, pray for us

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The Waiting

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On this past Sunday, my family and I were blessed to attend Holy Mass at Mission Basilica San Diego de Alcala, which has been deemed as a Holy Door pilgrimage site. I had found this out about a week ago, while attending Holy Mass on my birthday, which turned out to be a Holy Mass celebrated for the Immaculate Conception.

My health problems have been flaring up, even in recent days, so for me to actually make it, with my entire family, on the day the Holy Door was blessed and opened, along with attending Holy Mass after, I consider a HUGE gift of our Lord. I cried. For many years, close to twenty, of asking, seeking, wondering, repenting, lamenting, praying and crying, became rejoicing. Its not to say that simply by me walking through that door means my conversion of heart is over, but it reached a point in letting go. Letting go of the past and accepting the mercy and justice of our Lord. It reached a “growing” point that only our Lord can measure.

Saturday night before hand, I found myself looking at different religious art on the internet. This is something I love to do. My husband and I don’t have much money, so being able to see the beautiful paintings and other items on the internet gives me an outlet, to spend time with our Lord in a way that is very personal. We scroll through different sites and He leads me through different countries and far away museums showing me all the wonderful artwork that I would never be able to see in any other way. We found this painting below, of our Lord as the Holy Child in the Tabernacle.

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Going back to Sunday’s Holy Mass, along with walking through the Holy Door. Fr. Peter came out and the doors were shut. Holy Mass began outside, he blessed the doors, the hammer hit them and they were opened so Mass could continue. The crowd processed inside through them and Holy Mass continued. As Father began his Homily, it was all about “The Waiting”. He mentioned a list of things we wait for, and as he did, I whispered to my husband, I had been waiting for this day for close to twenty years. I would love to say that every Holy Mass I have ever attended is etched in the forefront of my memory, but all have not. There are many! But, not all of them can hold a position like this one has.

When father continued his “Waiting” homily, I listened intently putting in perspective of the past 2015 years since our Lord rose from the dead. In the last, minuscule in comparison, 49 years of my life. then again in the “waiting” to receive our Lord in the Eucharist while out of communion. Waiting for doctors test results. Waiting to have tests done. Coming around then, to the mercy of our Lord, for giving me the time to wait.

As Holy Mass concluded, I found myself in His peace. There was a moment when I realized I had a busy week ahead with Doctor appointments and forgot all about the pain I was having. I thought how beautiful it would be, to be able to receive Anointing of the Sick, since I had just received our Lord and walked through the Holy Doors. It had been a while since I had receive Anointing and being that my condition may need surgery, what a beautiful day to have this done. It wasn’t as if I NEEDED to get this done NOW. That “feeling” wasn’t present. I was not pushing for this. It was as if it was a suggustion to my soul that really became something I should do, but, only if it could be done, it would be good.

As we were leaving the Church, I told my husband I was going to ask Father if I could receive Anointing. I waited for the crowd to pass me by, and when it became thin and father wasn’t bombarded with souls, with only a few souls left, I approached Father and asked him. He told me he had to be at the airport within thirty minutes to catch a flight and told me, VERY humbly and graciously, that I could call the office in the morning and one of the other priests would be able to do just that for me ASAP since my first appointment was on Tuesday. He told me he would DEFINITELY keep me in his prayers as he was about to rush off. I pray no one takes this as a NON act of Mercy as I can see, it truly was our Lord at work through him, telling me no. I was at peace with his answer, and thought how I would be able to just attend the next day, and ask my Parish Priest for the Sacrament. My family and I left and had a few moments at home, “waiting”, before my older daughter had to be at our home Parish for singing in Festival of Carols.

As we arrived at our Parish, the Church was a bit dark as we walked in, I dipped my hand in the holy water font and genuflected turning to our Lord in the Tabernacle. To my surprise, the doors of the Tabernacle were wide open, and our Lord had been moved for this event. We took our seats in the pews, and “waited”. After a few moments, I noticed my Pastor mingle with others. I went to him and asked him, if he had time after, if he could give me the Sacrament of Anointing of the Sick. He graciously said yes that it wouldn’t be a problem.

The caroling was beautiful and at times, everyone in attendance was asked to stand and sing along. Between carols, we reflected on scripture readings and Gospels, ending the afternoon with a beautiful sense and understanding of the magnitude and meaning of our Lords birth, and the time spent by many souls “waiting” for Him, before His birth.

When all was over, my “waiting” for the Sacrament of Anointing of the Sick, was over as well. Father called me to the back of the Church. We were standing next to the Baptismal Font facing the Altar. I looked up the aisle to the Tabernacle of our Lord, behind the Altar which the doors were wide open. As Father began the prayers over me, that painting of the Holy Child Jesus in the Tabernacle, very vividly, came to mind. Some things, with His grace, you just know.

Praise, honor and glory to our Lord, Jesus Christ, now and forever.

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Return To Your First Love

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Forgive me for not posting anything for this picture. I am in awe. Here is a link. Please read.

Mary and the Sword by Bishop Fulton J. Sheen 1952

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No Sting

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This morning I am filled with a peace that only our Lord can give and I am grateful. This wonderful peace today is born from knowing that no matter what may come, in Christ, nothing can take away the JOY of knowing He is Lord. “Oh, give thanks to the LORD, for He is good! For His mercy endures forever.”

Last night, I was experiencing some great pain from what ever is going on inside my body and was troubled to see how my not being able to carry out some duties as mom and wife, was starting to weigh on my husband. My children filled the gap between us that was growing wider, with arguing about frivolous things. As I called for peace in this home, no one but our Lord heard my cry.

I was informed by my doctor that the blood work was back and they were ruling out anything wrong (cancer or disease) with my liver and pancreas, which to me, was great news. However, they have not ruled out a penetrating ulcer, which makes total sense with the amount of anti-inflammatory medicine I take for my spinal issues. Ulcer penetration is a complication in which the ulcer erodes through the intestinal wall without digestive fluid leaking into the abdomen. Instead, the ulcer penetrates into an adjoining organ, such as the pancreas or liver. The signs of penetration are more severe pain without rhythmicity or periodicity, and the spread of the pain to the lower back.

Next Tuesday, I have an appointment to find out more as more tests are scheduled. In the mean time, I have to ignore the pain and suffering because other things need attention. My children and my husband. That doesn’t mean our Lord is ignoring me. On the contrary, I am finding Him with me, every second as my pain and suffering is joined to His. As He is giving me His attention, I find it crucial now, to give that same attention to them.

No one on earth could ever understand fully, the position, place and condition a soul is in,nor the experiences, good and bad, they are going through completely, except our Lord. Its as if its just Him and me now, as I am sure its always been but I just couldn’t see it, walking through this entire experience, forgetting self and trying to bring peace in this home, in this family that just can’t see what is going on here. When I can see this, I can see my children and husband in the Light. I can understand more, the things that they can’t understand yet. Rather than become distant and uncaring to their needs, I am more and more careful in regards to how I attend to them. Mercy being the key. As our Lord pours His mercy on me, I am just a funnel in which that same mercy pours down into this home, on to my husband and children. Even when it is not reciprocated from them, as they are vessels also, that will hold it, until He determines when they shall need and use it through remembering if they choose through free will to do so with His grace. That is the peace and joy I have today. It is His, our Lords.

Pondering, “What you sow is not brought to life unless it dies.” Oh how true this is.

Where, O death, is your victory?
Where, O death, is your sting?”

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