It used to be the moment I woke, the awareness of our Lord’s presence abounded. Immediately I would speak to Him in prayer. I had a smile always on my face. It was the so wonderful “honeymoon” of faith. Joy filled my heart, and just before waking, I could hear His voice calling me to wake.
Lately, I seem to be losing the awareness and my thoughts have become rather distorted with “worldly” things and souls. I have been struggling upon waking for the past few weeks, and have noticed the strange distractions of other things, taking the place of Him. I’m not sure why, but I am aware of this taking place and I am fighting it. I can see it for what it is, and I begin to pray the moment the distractions try to overpower me. Jesus, I trust in You, Lord have mercy on me. The awareness is not completely gone, but more like something is trying to come between us to take my attention. Imagine being on a date, and someone coming up to your table and interrupting the private conversation. That is how I can see this distraction.
Earlier tonight, I had posted this with a prayer request for me, as I see my struggle and also know it to be pure grace to see it.
I took my girls out for ice cream tonight. On the way home, there was so much water on the street but it was as if someone was driving in front of me while dumping out a pitcher of water. It soaked the entire lane we were in and it had made its own river flowing onto the freeway. This huge “river” went from the ice cream shop parking lot where we had been, on to the freeway where we needed to go, flowed through and down the exit ramp to our street, through an intersection, where we made a left hand turn and up to our street. It was a HUGE water truck letting out water as it went and we were only a minute or so following behind it.
Just after Evening prayers, our Lord reminded me of that spiritual dryness I had asked for prayers about and I laughed with Him.
“It is the LORD who goes before you; he will be with you and will never fail you or forsake you. So do not fear or be dismayed” Deuteronomy 31:8
It’s so good to hear His voice. Like that water truck, spraying, He waters my soul and dismay is washed away.
Lord be with us, as we are trying to be with You this lent. That we may come to rise with You on the third day.