Tag Archives: Church

The Beauty of Christ Cathedral


For the many souls outraged over the “decor” of the new Christ Cathedral.

Ponder if you will 

Imagine a new married couple. They purchase their first house. Is that house automatically furnished and full of memories? No. Over time and years, that house is transformed into their home.There are good times and bad, building expansion, downsizing,  and rest.

What makes it a home? The souls who reside in it. Its not the decorations that should grab our attention, but the fact that our Lord now resides here and is inviting all of us to reside with Him also 

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More Facebook Troubles – UPDATE 3 -Victory in Christ



It seems the folks at Facebook are at it again, blocking & locking accounts that contain any Religious information in names. I had opened my account in 2009 and had never had a problem until today, when I was booted out and had to log back in as the information had stated that I changed my password  month ago. To which I had not. As I try to log back in, Facebook now requires me to submit federal issued ID’s that prove who I am,  to which I took a picture of my US Military ID, California Issued DL and a photo of my Lay Carmelite Order ID Card.  About two months ago, I added TOC (Third Order Carmelite) after my name, witch BTW is Margaret, but since birth I have been called Peggy..  I will be 50 years old in December.  I do not have any ID with Peggy on it. Its a known Nickname for the name Margaret just a Mark is for Marcus.

So I complied, and received an email back stating:


According to the Facebook Terms, you must be at least 13 years old to use Facebook. Please wait while we review your ID and confirm that you are eligible to use Facebook.

If you haven’t provided an ID that meets our requirements, please reply to this email and attach a copy of your ID. You can review what types of ID we accept and how to send your attachments over a secure connection here:

I am still unable to log into my Facebook account which I had opened in 2009, 7 years ago, without having to provide ANY ID using the exact information I have always used. For the past few years, religious have been targeted UNJUSTLY by this “Social Media” site and it is notorious for unfair treatment to Priests and Religious Sisters refusing them to use their Religious IDENTITY.  I guess its the Third Orders turn. May our Lord bless them and our Lord have mercy on them.

Funny really, as I had been pondering deleting the account as I am leaving on Retreat this coming weekend. It would have been nice to retrieve seven years of personal photos of my children before hand. After pondering this deeply, I don’t mind being kicked out of social media hell and I truly now can do more work for our Lord at hand as the chain that has been attached to my wrist, chained to the computer, has been cut. Peace. Its not to say there are not a lot of wonderful souls on Facebook that I have gotten to know as I love you very much, but the reality of Life, is not being confined to a smart phone, computer screen or any other electronic gadget that only permits you to talk about things needing to be done. Our Lord’s Kingdom is much bigger and He needs hands to do some work away from what we have adapted to mean “social”.  Social is face to face. I will keep everyone in my prayers, always. The only change is that our Lord has removed the chaos that I obviously did not need, in order for me to do the work He truly needs me to do. I obviously don’t need Facebook. We only need our Lord.

Thank you Lord.

Edit to add: Just returned from Holy Mass and after the events of not just today, but this entire week, and since I became aware of what our Lord is doing to my heart,  with my ENTIRE heart, mind, strength and soul, I shout out, YES LORD I love you more than anything.

Todays Readings & Gospel Saturday, April 9, 2016 (For Sunday April 10th)


Update –

Emal received this morning from Facebook from Email address: privacy+jjlgglaq.aearamnaxy@support.facebook.com :


Thanks for reaching out to us, but unfortunately we can’t confirm you’re the owner of this account.

Please reply with a scan or photo of your government-issued identification that has your name and photo or name and date of birth.

If you’re unable to provide your government-issued ID, please visit the Help Center to learn about the other types of ID we accept

No. I forgive you. God bless you. Shaking the dust from my shoes

“Let us not stay imprisoned within ourselves, but let us break open our sealed tombs to the Lord that He may enter and give us life.” – Pope Francis (Easter Vigil Mass in Rome – 2016)


Entire conversation via FB with my email Removed

REPLY NEEDEDCase #320320655


What you submitted
First name


Last name

Drebena Demetris Toc

Email address or mobile phone number


Date of birth

December 7, 1966


20160409_094721 (1).jpg
We sent you a message


According to the Facebook Terms, you must be at least 13 years old to use Facebook. Please wait while we review your ID and confirm that you are eligible to use Facebook.

If you haven’t provided an ID that meets our requirements, please reply to this email and attach a copy of your ID. You can review what types of ID we accept and how to send your attachments over a secure connection here:


Note that we won’t be able to take any action on this account without a copy of an ID that meets these requirements. Sorry for the inconvenience.

In the meantime, we encourage you to review our Statement of Rights and Responsibilities for more information:


View updates from your Support Inbox: https://fb.me/2arASDeJeY6mOzq

The Facebook Team

What you submitted
I will be 50 December 7th of this year
We sent you a message


Thanks for reaching out to us, but unfortunately we can’t confirm you’re the owner of this account.

Please reply with a scan or photo of your government-issued identification that has your name and photo or name and date of birth.

If you’re unable to provide your government-issued ID, please visit the Help Center to learn about the other types of ID we accept:


Keep in mind that the information on the ID you provide must match the information on the account.

Please cover up any personal information we don’t need to confirm your identity (ex: address, Social Security number) and save the image(s) as a JPEG.

We hope to hear from you so we can help.

View updates from your Support Inbox: https://fb.me/axXCMPYELFeX9d



I received another email from the folks at Facebook….



Thanks for your response. It looks like your name on Facebook doesn’t match the name on the ID(s) you submitted.

To help us confirm that you’re using your authentic name:

1. Log into your Facebook account
2. Follow the on-screen instructions
3. If you still can’t update your name, you’ll be able to fill out a contact form

View updates from your Support Inbox:


Community Operations

Apparently Jesse doesn’t understand that Peg and Margaret are the same name and many souls have their madden name on their accounts along with married names….
I sent them the link to Wikipedia : Peggy Peggy is most commonly a diminutive of the female given name Margaret. It is sometimes spelled Peggie


What I found out during the ban. If you log into ANY Social Media Site with your FB account – If you are Banned from FB – You are in FACT CENCORED from speaking on ANY board who only uses FB logins to register. Fox News, Huff Post, etc., included. You are forced not only out of FB, but forced to create a new email address in order to comment anywhere OUTSIDE of FB as your email address looks as if it has already registered on other sites, due to Facebook holding your information. This is CENSORSHIP and its best NEVER to use your FB account to log into any Social Media site but to use some other form. Not only does FB take possession of your photos, videos and email, but your ability to speak anywhere else on Social Media – This is what is coming. You will not be able to voice anything if you use this site to log on other places outside of Facebook.

This is no different than that of the censorship the Apostles had to deal with from the beginning. Another thing to take into consideration is if you have Credit Card info on Facebook, if a fraud charge is made during your ban, you can NOT log in to dispute it and must go directly to the bank in order to take care of the situation.   Just before I was banned, I purchases some tokens for a game I had played, and was unable to use them and was told I needed to log in to dispute the charges, but could not as I was blocked from dong so. . I also received several updates about birthdays etc, which was silly. If it’s not me, why send updates?

We never know why our Lord leads us to places we just can’t understand, but we do know that in His time, He brings His Light to the entire situation…

I am now back on Facebook (for at short time anyway,  as I leave Friday for my Carmelite silent retreat), under the name that appears on my IDs that no one in the past 50 years of life have ever called me by,  unless they were official documents, police, or I was paying some bill. Social Media trying to make itself OFFICIAL Media. Which is very alarming for the reasons I just posted.

Although, what gives me hope, all my documents with the Catholic Church can be found under Margaret.

Thank you Lord Jesus Christ for the name You have for me. That is the one I look forward answering to.

Peace always.


UPDATE: Victory in Christ – FB has issues with Catholic Religious Identities

Today 4/13./2016

Hi Peg Drebena,

Thanks for verifying your identity. We’ve changed the name on your account to the name that you requested.

If you‘d like to add another name to your account (ex: nickname, maiden name), follow the steps in the Help Center:

View updates from your Support Inbox: (REMOVED)


Community Operations

Father, forgive them, they know not what they do.”

Lord have mercy on us all.

Praise, glory and honor to our Lord Jesus Christ, for all time and all eternity.



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The Temptation Of The Sexual Revolution


Pondering: Vatican II (inside the church) not being the reason souls left the pews, but the temptation of the ‘sexual revolution” (on the outside), being the “apple” many “fell for” that lead souls astray and out of the pews. Therefore our Lord was already prepared to address the needs of a society of souls far off, and the Father meeting them on the road to welcome them back home.

If souls were “obedient” and in love with our Lord, there wouldn’t have been a mass exodus. It’s as if a fear of something other than of our Lord gripped the souls in the pews rather than “trust” and “obedience” to our Lord, which holds all souls in love.. Just as a temptation that “original sin” is a thing of the past grips souls today and holds them in that same lack of “obedience” to God.

BUT “patience obtains all things” and “all things work for the greater glory of God”.

Just pondering….


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Beauty Of Reality


I had a very hard time falling asleep last night as I was pondering the state of the world and what is taking place. Although our hearts can be crushed at times, our love, hope and faith can not. I had posted something to Facebook last night:

We are facing Iran with nukes, US Marines being assassinated by terrorists, children being murdered and body parts harvested for profit, the media practicing Communist censoring tactics, forcing Catholic Nuns to supply birth control because the government no longer considers them to be a “religious group”, All out assault on the Catholic Church by the government, Gender neutrality, destruction of the natural family, homosexual “marriage”, flags being the cause of murdering people and terrorists are not, Kindergartners being taught sex education, Teens able to get an abortion without parental notification but are not Adults, Christians being labeled hate groups…. And the big story is an earthquake MAY wipe out the entire Pacific NW is supposed to worry me? Please. You can’t stop the earthquake. Everything else is the real problem that NEEDS attention and is all self inflected. ASAP. Lord have mercy on us all.

As I lay in bed, unable to sleep and found myself pondering all the things taking place, I began to pray to our Lord. Asking Him why? Asking Him how could so many souls be so lost in “worldliness” and not see true peace in Him? I pondered a post to twitter that i had made in regards to “crickets chirping” from anyone in the state government of California in regards to investigating planned parenthood.

I began to pray the rosary as I lay in bed. My focus was drawn on to the suffering of our Lord amidst the crowds of people who did not believe Him on the road to Calvary. It was horrific to see our Lord spat on and mocked. Ignored and very little compassion shown to Him. What I couldn’t help but see was He also went through the crowds of souls who didn’t care about Him. Didn’t want to hear Him. Had better things to do then repent and believe what He had said and done. I fell asleep and began to dream….

I had the most beautiful dream I have ever had. I was walking in the City of God. I was a princess being courted by our King. Everyone was full of joy. Everyone knew me and was so kind. Kindness radiated for every soul, no matter where I walked. But I didn’t know me. A man approached me and I knew Him to be our Lord without saying a word to me. He offered me everything and I asked Him, “Will you read me this book?”, I don’t know what the book was, and His smile answered. He was dressed for a huge celebration and wanted me to join Him. I kept telling him I needed to get ready. I needed to get dressed. He smiled and I heard in my heart, “Go look”. He knew I was complete, but I couldn’t comprehend what complete entailed. I walked into a small changing room that was full of mirrors. I had thought I was not dressed and ready for this celebration. I had been fumbling around in a purse for lipstick and when I looked up to apply it, nothing was needed. When I looked at myself, I was perfect. He had dressed me in what I had needed. He made me ready for where we needed to go. He provided everything without my even knowing it was already complete, it was done.

I woke up and my eyes fixed on the picture of our Lord in the Eucharist that I have on my dresser. The peace and joy that I had in this dream remained with me when I woke from it. And I still have it this evening. I had this immense ringing in my ears that sounded like crickets as I woke. What came to my heart the second I was aware of the ringing in my ears was Scripture John 8 21:30 with our Lord telling my heart, if they are not listening to Him, don’t listen to the misery they cause for themselves. Offering only Him in their pain. Hear nothing but the chirping crickets. Do not let it drag you into misery yourself. Peace. Faith, hope and love in Christ always.

Today I find myself pondering most of John 8 and knowing in my heart, it is already complete. Souls only need to answer Him, yes or no.

I had a dream I was a princess being courted by our King. When I woke up, it wasn’t a dream but the beauty of reality in living our faith in Him.

Glory, praise and honor to our Lord, Jesus Christ, now and forever. Amen

“Let us understand that God is a Physician and that suffering is a medicine for salvation, not a punishment for damnation.” ~ St. Augustine

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Independence Day From Sinfulness


Saturday July 4th, I will be dedicating to our Holy Mother Mary and first Saturday. I ask you to join me as we celebrate her, our Catholic Faith and TRUE Independence from our sinfulness. I have my flag out already. I will be bringing my children to Holy Mass after we all receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Just an idea I feel needs to be shared.

“In the end, My Immaculate Heart will triumph.” – Our Lady of Fatima


All praise, honor and glory to our Lord, Jesus Christ.

EDIT to add:

Its not a call to abandon hope, nor to hide inside this day, but to celebrate LIFE in Christ. To still enjoy our Lords creation. TO STILL live the life our Lord has given to us and to appreciate Holiness in the Light. Its not that we are NOT still sinners, but rather we know we are and we are TRYING with the grace of God to get back home to our Lord, in TRUE Love. Agape!


“Praise God, from Whom all blessings flow;
Praise Him, all creatures here below;
Praise Him above, ye heavenly host;
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost!


The original photo has been changed at the top of this post. WITHOUT KNOWING, I was flying my Vatican Flag upside down for many many WEEKS. I didn’t know it. Today, I fixed it. Keep in mind ANY flag flown upside down is a sign of “distress” and NOT disrespect. Pray for this nation and the ENTIRE Church.

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I Will Not Worship The Golden Calf



All over the MSM you see “Love Wins” in regards to the same sex marriage law being man made legal in 50 US states. Yes. Love most certainly does win but most do not know who He is yet. I pray that many will receive the grace from our Lord for understanding of who He is.

Again SCOTUS chants “We have no king but Caesar”. Just as it was chanted through the pen for Abortion and now for Marriage. Jesus Christ is MY King, not the USA. It was Saint Augustine of Hippo who stated that “An unjust law is no law at all”. Just as an unjust law is no law at all, so to are the men and woman who enforce the unjust law. So to are those who follow the unjust law. I will not. I OPENLY refuse to worship the “Golden Calf” of the nation. Jesus Christ is my King. “But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.” Joshua 24:15

From the USCCB

“Regardless of what a narrow majority of the Supreme Court may declare at this moment in history, the nature of the human person and marriage remains unchanged and unchangeable. Just as Roe v. Wade did not settle the question of abortion over forty years ago, Obergefell v. Hodges does not settle the question of marriage today. Neither decision is rooted in the truth, and as a result, both will eventually fail. Today the Court is wrong again. It is profoundly immoral and unjust for the government to declare that two people of the same sex can constitute a marriage.”

Please continue to read at the link.

Repent. Pray Divine Office 3X daily. Pray the Rosary daily. Pray before every meal. Attend daily Holy Mass (if you can) and if you can not, participate in it through EWTN rebroadcast. Pray without ceasing. Receive the sacraments frequently. “LOVE one another as I have loved you” – Be not afraid. DO not give into disrepair. Give in only to our Lord Jesus Christ. Teach your children to do the same! LIVE the faith. Don’t just talk about it.

The Sacrament of Marriage will never change.


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“Laudato Si” & “Vision Of Heaven”

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Can’t help but ponder…

Pondering “Laudato Si” and Pope Francis on Twitter in the past few hours:

“I invite all to pause to think about the challenges we face regarding care for our common home. ‪#‎LaudatoSi‬. We need a new dialogue about how we are shaping the future of our planet. #LaudatoSi. There is an intimate relationship between the poor and the fragility of the planet. #LaudatoSi. There is a need to seek other ways of understanding the economy and progress. #LaudatoSi. There is a value proper to each creature. The throwaway culture of today calls for a new lifestyle. #LaudatoSi. “To commit a crime against the natural world is a sin against ourselves and a sin against God.” (Patriarch Bartholomew). The climate is a common good, belonging to all and meant for all. Climate change represents one of the principal challenges facing humanity in our day. #LaudatoSi. The earth, our home, is beginning to look more and more like an immense pile of filth.These problems are closely linked to a throwaway culture. One particularly serious problem is the quality of water available to the poor. #LaudatoSi. The human environment and the natural environment deteriorate together. The deterioration of the environment and of society affect the most vulnerable people on the planet. We have to hear both the cry of the earth and the cry of the poor. #LaudatoSi. To blame population growth, and not an extreme consumerism on the part of some, is one way of refusing to face the issues. A true “ecological debt” exists, particularly between the global north and south. Developed countries ought to help pay this debt by limiting their consumption of nonrenewable energy. There is no room for the globalization of indifference. #LaudatoSi. Economic interests easily end up trumping the common good. The alliance between economy and technology ends up sidelining anything unrelated to its immediate interests. Whatever is fragile, like the environment, is defenceless before the interests of a deified market. We need only to take a frank look at the facts to see that our common home is falling into serious disrepair. #LaudatoSi. The present world system is certainly unsustainable from a number of points of view. #LaudatoSi. Each community has the duty to protect the earth and to ensure its fruitfulness for coming generations. “Creation” has a broader meaning than “nature”; it has to do with God’s loving plan. #LaudatoSi. Every creature is the object of the Father’s tenderness, who gives it its place in the world. A fragile world challenges us to devise intelligent ways of directing, developing and limiting our power. At times more zeal is shown in protecting other species than in defending the equal dignity of human beings. We should be particularly indignant at the enormous inequalities in our midst. #LaudatoSi. We continue to tolerate some considering themselves more worthy than others. Earth is essentially a shared inheritance, whose fruits are meant to benefit everyone. #LaudatoSi. For believers, this becomes a question of fidelity to the Creator. Never has humanity had such power over itself, yet nothing ensures that it will be used wisely. Each age tends to have only a meagre awareness of its own limitations. It is possible that we don’t grasp the gravity of the challenges before us. #LaudatoSi. We are learning all too slowly the lessons of environmental deterioration. #LaudatoSi. By itself the market cannot guarantee integral human development and social inclusion. Scientific and technological progress cannot be equated with the progress of humanity and history. There is an urgent need for us to move forward in a bold cultural revolution. #LaudatoSi. Christian thought sees human beings as possessing a particular dignity above other creatures. The culture of relativism drives one person to take advantage of another, to treat others as mere objects. It is contrary to human dignity to cause animals to suffer or die needlessly. #LaudatoSi. We need an integrated approach to combating poverty and protecting nature. For indigenous communities, land is not a commodity, but a gift from God, a sacred space. Having a home has much to do with a sense of personal dignity and the growth of families. #LaudatoSi. The world we have received also belongs to who will follow us. #LaudatoSi. What kind of world do we want to leave to those who come after us, to children who are now growing up? What is at stake is our own dignity. Leaving an inhabitable planet to future generations is, first and foremost, up to us.”

Peg Pondering Again

Most who will read this will either not understand or call me crazy. I forgive you. Some with a greater gift then I, I hope will read more into it then I can. This vision is so etched on my soul in great detail, it is the only thing on my mind. It has consumed me. After seeing this vision last night, and still being in this world, it has managed to separate two worlds completely. The world in which we live and the world in which we hope to live. I can only see this world we are in as dying and know I am still apart of it but the Kingdom of Heaven is my home and where I belong. There is zero doubt, this vision was a gift of our Holy Mother as it came to me while praying the Glorious Mysteries of the Holy Rosary last…

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All We Need


Last night my family and I attended the San Diego Padres game. We bought tickets through my girls school to sit in a section dedicated to all the school. My youngest child got in some trouble earlier in the day the second I dropped her off for school, so I actually thought of keeping her home and letting my husband and older daughter go.

As we waited for my husband to get home so they could go, I kept hearing in my heart, its a family occasion. My daughter who got in trouble at school had already been punished at school for her behavior and I just was not settled completely what I was deciding. At the last second, I decided that we would all go.

As we go there and made our way to the fantastic seats and began to settle in, my older daughter pretended to be a princess, blew kisses to all and went to throw herself in her seat. Well, much to her surprise she fell back hard. Really hard and smacked her elbow on the arm rest as the seat she though was there had folded up and she slammed into the ground. It hurt. No one from her school had seen what she had done so it saved her little pride moment but she was hurt. We sat for a moment as I checked out her elbow to see what damage had been done and the pain on her face was there. She couldn’t move it and streaked at the thought of moving it.

For the first two innings of the game I comforted her and kept vigil for her and the elbow to see if maybe she had broken something. We couldn’t just jump in the car and go to the hospital to get her checked out as we had taken the train to get to the park. The more the tears flowed the more I became to worry if she had in fact broken something. I got up and walked her to the First Aid station. All we needed was ice.

As we walked through a maze of different directions we go there. Looked through the window and a group of souls opened the door for us. The immediately brought her in and placed her on a medical chair and began asking the questions and checking her out. The nurse and the EMT checked her over and she was given an ice pack to keep any swelling down. They talked to her and had her bend it and move it to see where she had gotten hurt. After a while, then they handed her a Padres hat and a baseball. I was never expecting that.

As I sat there I was flooded with thoughts of our Lord. How much more then will your Heavenly Father give to you? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.

I have worried about so much in my life taking place that I had in the past allowed the worry to replace Life. Even for the benefit of others, as that is the basis for all worry I have had.  Worry does no good. Its the parable of the 10 Virgins that strikes me here. In all that I do for our Lord, I can not give my prayers and works to others to use for their salvation.  God doesn’t have grandchildren. Only you can say yes to the adoption to be His child. I can’t share my holiness with you for your salvation. I can be a model of holiness, but I can not be a fountain. That is reserved for our Lord. You have to become holy using His grace. You have to trim your lamps at all times. Which is done through prayers, receiving the sacraments and obedience to Him. You have to use His grace for your salvation.

When I first noticed and acted upon my conversion of heart, all I was looking for was to go to heaven. When you realize what comes with Heaven, you can only start to understand, all I wanted was an “ice pack”.

My daughter is fine, just a bruise and is playing today, a little more guarded over what she had experienced last night.

Thanks be to God for no broken bones.

Thanks be to God for all His gifts. Thanks be to Jesus Christ our Lord for the gift of Life. Thanks be to the most Holy Spirit for giving gifts of the Father and the Son. All praise and honor and all glory to the most Holy Trinity for You are all we truly need. Amen.

From Catholic Online:

Glory be to the Father,
Who by His almighty power and love created me,
making me in the image and likeness of God.
Glory be to the Son,
Who by His Precious Blood delivered me from hell,
and opened for me the gates of heaven.
Glory be to the Holy Spirit,
Who has sanctified me in the sacrament of Baptism,
and continues to sanctify me
by the graces I receive daily from His bounty.
Glory be to the Three adorable Persons of the Holy Trinity,
now and forever.

One point I feel a need to make..

The San Diego Padres beat the “Pits” burg Pyrites

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Help Not Hinder


A suggestion for Catholic Media outlets, yes, Michael Voris & Church Militant TV, who always find a need to point out what is wrong, what needs to be fixed, what looks dirty….

Rather than complain about the dirt on the floor, don’t you think it would be more helpful to help clean it up? Maybe teach others how to clean it up? Rather than teaching souls how to point at it and blame the “cleaning lady” for not doing a good enough job? Oh No! There is trash on the floor! We have to MOVE!!!!!!!

Don’t we all live in the same house?

If you don’t feel your Priest is doing enough to teach how about asking him if you can help? See if he has other projects that may need your expertise in different ways. Its our job as Laity to teach our children and when we refuse to teach them about the faith, we can’t just toss them to the Priests and say, here, its your problem. It bothers me that we are so quick to point out what the Priest is not doing, and refuse to look within our own homes and community to see where WE can help and not hinder..

If you feel the priests are not doing enough to teach souls about birth control and abortion, etc why are you not helping to teach souls rather then sit there and heckle the priests for not doing enough? Its like pointing how filthy your bedroom is and blaming your mom for your mess. Sloth is a killer…

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Love Or Pride


My family and I walked into Holy Mass today and two little girls from my daughters class walked up to my daughter and asked her if she found a box of tissues. We were set back a bit and my daughter said no. We went to sit in the pew and like every week, my daughters argued over who was going to sit where and my Violet grudgingly slid deeper down the pew instead of grabbing the end of the pew. She began crying and became angry that her sister took HER SEAT. She sits there. It belonged to her and her alone!

As the tears ran down her cheeks from the raging anger that was eating her up about her sister, I reminded her about the two girls that asked her if she found a box of tissues and tried to calm her down and have her think about where we were, and prompted her to think of how it was our Lord was speaking to her. The two girls asking if she found the box of tissues, her getting upset about nothing and crying her eyes out, not having a tissue to wipe them away. Nothing was registering. She couldn’t comprehend what I was telling her. She didn’t want to listen. Her sister took HER seat! She began to tell me about how her sister sat in HER seat LAST WEEK TOO! To which I reminded her that we sat in the middle of the pew last week and everyone was someplace else.

The tears finally ended, focus was regained and Holy Mass began. As I received our Lord today in Holy Communion, He made me cry. It was my turn. I had been contemplating all the things He had been showing me, all the worry I had for others and myself and the state of the world as it is. How He had lead me back to Him and all the beautiful and frighting experiences I have seen and lived through with Him leading the way. I was crying like a baby as He reminded me, “My sheep hear my voice”. Everything that has caused me to worry about others and why no one was listening to me all became the focal point as to why. Why is because if I can here Him, they will too. In His time. When He calls His sheep, they will hear Him. Not me, but Him. A question was then asked of my heart. Is it for pride that I do this, or for Love? I didn’t have to answer as the answer radiated in my heart. That little box of lost tissues made seance again.

Mass had ended and we went for coffee and donuts in the back of the hall. One of the church groups was selling plants. “I am the vine. You are the branches”. My daughters bought two little plants. Our Lord made it perfectly known to me, He already gave me two more little “sprouts” on this “branch” to take care of on His Vine.

As we sat eating and relaxing, I had noticed that a chain on a gate that had been there for a very long time, was no longer there. Although the gate was closed, all I had to do was lean on it as it was no longer locked. I knew it was significant at the time, but it just wasn’t registering. I am only now reminded of last week and The Good Shepherd. “So Jesus said again, “Amen, amen, I say to you, I am the gate for the sheep.”

All glory, praise and honor to our Lord Jesus Christ. Today and forever. Amen

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Answer The Call

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Calling ALL Catholics! Answer The Call! Bishops Call for Nine Days of Prayer, Penance and Pilgrimage for Life

From the USCCB –

On January 22nd and January 25th our nation will remember the 40th anniversary of Roe v. Wade.

Since that tragic decision, more than 55 million children’s lives have been lost to abortion, and the lives of millions of their parents have been shattered.

As part of the bishops’ recent call to prayer, “Nine Days of Prayer, Penance and Pilgrimage” will take place January 19-27, 2013.

This time period, focusing on the theme of pilgrimage, includes:
Blessings of pro-life pilgrims (en español)
(See page 10, 2012 Respect Life Program Liturgy Guide)

Novena – Sign up for daily emails below, or text “9days” to 99000 to receive it through daily text messages!

■Youth and young adult activities (“Pro-Life Profiles” and a high school age video contest)

■Closing Eucharistic Holy Hour

Please go to the link HERE to the USCCB Page and Sign Up to receive daily email messages during the novena!

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One That Restraineth

Pondering tonight, something happening today in our own society. Right now, in our time. Our government pushing its Anti Christian policies on all Christian and other faiths in regards to abortion and birth control.

St. John Chrysostom (c. 347-407) Doctor of the Church
Homilies on Second Thessalonians

“And now ye know that which restraineth, to the end that he may be revealed in his own season. For the mystery of lawlessness doth already work: only there is one that restraineth now, until he be taken out of the way. And then shall be revealed the lawless one, whom the Lord Jesus shall slay with the breath of His mouth, and bring to nought by the manifestation of His coming: even he whose coming is according to the working of Satan.”

ONE may naturally enquire, what is that which withholdeth, and after that would know, why Paul expresses it so obscurely. What then is it that withholdeth, that is, hindereth him from being revealed? Some indeed say, the grace of the Spirit, but others the Roman empire, to whom I most of all accede. Wherefore? Because if he meant to say the Spirit, he would not have spoken obscurely, but plainly, that even now the grace of the Spirit, that is the gifts, withhold him. And otherwise he ought now to have come, if he was about to come when the gifts ceased; for they have long since ceased. But because he said this of the Roman empire, he naturally glanced at it, and speaks covertly and darkly. For he did not wish to bring upon himself superfluous enmities, and useless dangers. … And he did not say that it will be quickly, although he is always saying it–but what? “that he may be revealed in his own season,” he says, “For the mystery of lawlessness doth already work.” He speaks here of Nero, as if he were the type of Antichrist. For he too wished to be thought a god. And he has well said, “the mystery”; that is, it worketh not openly, as the other, nor without shame. For if there was found a man before that time, he means, who was not much behind Antichrist in wickedness, what wonder, if there shall now be one? But he did not also wish to point him out plainly: and this not from cowardice, but instructing us not to bring upon ourselves unnecessary enmities, when there is noting to call for it. So indeed he also says here. “Only there is one that restraineth now, until he be taken out of the way,” that is, when the Roman empire is taken out of the way, then he shall come. And naturally. For as long as the fear of this empire lasts, no one will willingly exit himself, but when that is dissolved, he will attack the anarchy, and endeavor to seize upon the government both of man and of God. For as the kingdoms before this were destroyed, for example, that of the Medes by the Babylonians, that of the Babylonians by the Persians, that of the Persians by the Macedonians, that of the Macedonians by the Romans: so will this also be by the Antichrist, and he by Christ, and it will no longer withhold. And these things Daniel delivered to us with great clearness.

“And then,” he says, “shall be revealed the lawless one.” And what after this? The consolation is at hand. “Whom the Lord Jesus shall slay with the breath of His mouth, and bring to nought by the manifestation of His coming, even he whose coming is according to the working of Satan.”

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Love Jesus, Hate Religion?

Love them both….

Great post over at Pathoes by Frank Weathers titled: Love Jesus, Hate Religion? Fr. Robert Barron Fires Both Barrels. I don’t normally post links to others story’s on this blog, but in this case, I feel I must. This is the response to 22-year-old Jefferson Bethke’s “Why I Hate Religion, But Love Jesus”

Please read the entire story HERE

From Fr. Robert Barron’s Word On Fire
“Addressing the massively popular Why I Hate Religion, but Love Jesus” video, Father Barron fields some questions the viral clip raised, including why the video was so popular, how religion is defined, and how Catholics are to respond.”

Video #2, wherein we learn the meaning if a few words and rediscover a few heresies that many have never heard of, and didn’t even know they were unwittingly following. (Comment kudos to Pathoes)

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Father Corapi

In pondering Father Corapi’s situation and the “Choice” HE is now making, it causes me to ponder my own life and the situations I have been in and put them into perspective of my own life in the faith. Its through our life DES ASTERS, such as the one Father Corapi is and has been going through, that we pull closer to our Lord Jesus Christ and the Catholic Church, and NOT cut ourselves off from it or Our Lord. I’m no stranger to them, through my own bad “Choices” in life but, in the end, now that is, NOTHING can take me away from my Lord or the Church He gave to us. Not even the words and actions of a man like Corapi. James 1:12 (NIV) Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the victor’s crown, the life God has promised to those who love him.”

I beg my readers to read through every one of my posts and SEE the daily struggles I face that have brought me CLOSER to our Lord. My experience in this exile, in regards to Fr. Corapis, is very similar, but his ending is just not the answer.

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:5

When the story first broke, “New Evangelization, Same Old Temptations“,

“we have to take into account that many more scandals will come to light for any other soul on the path to fullness in Christ. It is very easy to be tempted into vainglory when we are faced in today’s world with spreading the message of God. I’m not here to condemn or judge or choose sides in the matter or any that will arise. What I do want to point out is that with the new media, we all have to make sure we do not “Idolize” the presenter of God’s message, but rather KNOW God who allows the soul to bring His message. If we idolize the earthly messenger, we have to understand that we are not giving our full attention to God. Many times we do this every day and when the messenger falls, we to fall with him rather then holding on to God who is the true Messenger, through the work of His Son, to the Holy Spirit which brings the message through the actions of each of us.”

Today, I bring you a message from Father Joe on this situation. Black Sheep Dog or BLACK WOLF? Please read this! I WILL NOT follow the man, Father Corapi, I will follow the word Of Christ Jesus and the Catholic Church He built on the Rock, given to Peter. I will ALWAYS pray for him and those who choose his path, rather then our Lords.

“And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it.” Matthew 16:18


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New Evangelization, Same Old Temptations

With the call for “New Evangelization” we all must take a few steps back, and not to place the soul being used to speak the message, above the true “Messenger” Never forget:

“I am the Lord your God, who brought you up out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery; Do not have any other gods before me. You shall not make for yourself an idol, whether in the form of anything that is in heaven above, or that is on the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, punishing children for the iniquity of parents, to the third and the fourth generation of those who reject me, but showing steadfast love to the thousandth generation of those who love me and keep my commandments.” Exodus 20:2-6

In light of the new scandal or charges being brought against Father Corapi, we have to take into account that many more scandals will come to light for any other soul on the path to fullness in Christ. It is very easy to be tempted into vainglory when we are faced in today’s world with spreading the message of God. I’m not here to condemn or judge or choose sides in the matter or any that will arise. What I do want to point out is that with the new media, we all have to make sure we do not “Idolize” the presenter of God’s message, but rather KNOW God who allows the soul to bring His message. If we idolize the earthly messenger, we have to understand that we are not giving our full attention to God. Many times we do this every day and when the messenger falls, we to fall with him rather then holding on to God who is the true Messenger, through the work of His Son, to the Holy Spirit which brings the message through the actions of each of us.

Matthew 22:36-39

“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’

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Lost In The Deep Dark Night

As dark as it gets…He will lead you out of the dark and the beauty and fullness of His light is so bright and beautiful, once your out of the first blaze, you will treasure Him always above everything on earth. Nothing will stand between your soul and Him again. Sin will try but it will never withstand the power of the heat of His love for you. The key to getting out, is to never stop asking our Lord Jesus Christ, through the Holy Spirit and all His Saints, to guide you out, through prayer, attending mass, confession, and ALL things “Holy”. Once you stop and assume you can find your own way out, you will be eaten alive. The evil one will grab you by your neck in his teeth and shake you until all life is gone. Only because God allows him to because you “Chose” to let him, rather then “Choosing” God and His fullness.

I don’t want to write about this today. There is so much here, that I have not written about yet. After attending mass this morning and hearing today’s first reading, I am filled with so much hope at what I am about to write will somehow help the most lost souls in the deepest darkness and help them to understand, no matter where you are, even when you do not know, God always knows and is there with you. The evil one will try to mask God being with you. Don’t let him. This is the test of faith. When you will hear in your heart from our Lord, “Where are you? What is this that you have done?” He always knows where you are. He is asking you if you know. Be truthful always. His mercy is endless.

In June of 2002, a month before the one year anniversary of my rape, I to cried out to our Lord, to forgive me, to have mercy on me. Alone in one years time, after I was raped, I lost my home, I lost my job, I could no longer take care of my child and had her live with my sister, I was about to lose my mother to cancer, and this world had me convinced, at that time, I was mentally ill because of my faith in Jesus Christ. I could not laugh, cry, hurt, love, just sit there or even be human, without someone asking me if I was taking my “Medication”.I was cut off from worldly possessions and any ties to the people in my life who did not understand our Lord was truly calling me to come back home to Him. I had not yet had times with religious people to speak with concerning my faith. At this time, I hadn’t yet reached out to the Church fully. The Catholic church I was just getting comfortable in, was forty-five miles away by the home I had just lost, and I was told that if I brought myself to a priest at the church of my family, I would bring shame to everyone. In their minds, I was crazy and just needed more medication. I allowed myself to become cut off, by the words and actions of others, cut off from the Church that fed me, and gave me life giving water, my only hope and joy in this world.

I FORGIVE THEM! I hope they can forgive me. I do not expect anyone to understand things that happen between God and a soul. The personal relationship God has with the soul is as individual as the scientific DNA of a human person. He brings TOGETHER all individualistic souls, to complete fullness in ONE BODY, through His Bride, the Church. I DO expect non believers to trust in Him. To place their faith in Him. To learn His ways. Do NOT follow my lack of faith in Him. I was truly crazy this day. I was giving into the evil one. There is no justification for doing this. Despair had taken over.

Before I cried out to our Lord, in what I only now know I was going through for a few years, as my first “Dark Night Of The Soul”, in anger and complete disobedience to God, believing what THIS WORLD thought, I swallowed 230 pills. Immediately after, I broke down and told God I was sorry. I didn’t want to do it. I left my parents home, where I had done this and started walking. Walking anywhere away from there. I had brought so much shame as it was to my family, and to God, I just started walking and begging God for mercy and forgiveness. It was a VERY quiet day. I couldn’t hear a thing. No birds chirping, no wind, no traffic, not another human being in site. No cars driving by as I was walking. I turned a corner and a Hispanic man was in the distance walking towards me. I was sobbing harder the closer he came. I looked at him and told him what I had done. I broke down uncontrollably as he walked with me, never leaving my side, guiding my steps blocks away to a phone. He called 911 to get me help and a family member. He stayed with me and refused to leave my side. He kept me awake as I started to fall asleep. He cried with me at a point. When my family member got there, they refused to believe I did this and told the man and a police officer they were bring me home, that I was just crazy. This man helping me, said NO! I began to lose consciousness.

I woke up in ICU at the local hospital. The VERY FIRST WORDS out of my mouth were praise & GLORY and THANKSGIVING to God for ALLOWING me to live! My mother came to see me in her frail state. She didn’t have much to say to me for doing this unthinkable act. She handed me a piece of paper with a phone number on it. It was to the man who helped me. She wanted me to thank him. She was afraid to tell me his name at first, but when she did, it was as if the world stopped. His name was Jesus.

I called him and thanked him. We became good friends until I left Chicago. I also call on Jesus Christ EVERY DAY, and thank Him. Lord Forgive me for my selfish past…It is only through You that I have a future with You.

I have to end this here.. The world I now live in, because of the LOVE, MERCY and FORGIVENESS of our Lord is a different place now. I did die that day. That selfish person no longer exists. I can only live in this world through Him.

Need help? call 911 IMMEDIATELY
After you receive help for your body, IMMEDIATELY Call a Catholic Priest! Confess the sins that seek to destroy you and cut your life short which are trying to convince you there is no way out. There is an EXIT from where you are now in this life and His name is Jesus Christ.


Pray for the souls in purgatory, who didn’t get the second chance, that I was given.


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A Prayer For The World In Turmoil

Almighty, everlasting God,
Who in Thy beloved Son,
King of the whole world,
hast willed to restore all things anew;
grant in Thy Mercy that all the families of nations,
rent asunder by the wound of sin,
may be subjected to His most gentle rule.
Who with Thee lives and reigns world without end.


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Saint Joseph’s Cathedral: “My Noah’s Ark”

Every year on Christmas Eve, “Santa” without fail, would bring me a model Noah’s Ark. Before I could play with it, after all the wrapping paper was picked up, and sometimes before, I would bug my father to put it together. He would glue the two portions of the ark together, sometimes that night, so I could immediately play with my new toy, when the glue dried. I would sit for hours, laying on my stomach, setting up the animals two by two, pretending I was just as small as the plastic pieces and I was going to enter the ark with them. After all, God was about to destroy the “bad people”. I wondered for hours what it was really like. What it must have looked like and wished I was in Noah’s family during the great flood.

As much as I loved that toy ark and as much joy it brought me, my lack of caring for it was the reason it needed to be replaced yearly. Between the family dog chewing up the animals, slowly, one by one due to my leaving them out or my moms vacuum cleaner sucking them up, and my own destructiveness, they ended up with the same fate of my brothers army men, usually in the vintage hand crank 1940’s ice crusher in the basement. The ark itself, that my father glued together, would always end up in the bottom of the toy box, crushed by the weight of the junk piled on top of it.

The story of Noah was always my favorite as a child. By the age of 10 or so, I became “To Big” to want THAT toy anymore. Quickly forgetting the hours of wondering and joy it brought me. Not much longer after that, unfortunately, my faith, took the exact same path. I won’t go into details regarding my conversion back to the Catholic Church at this time but it has been a solid five years or more, that I am home again. I will say, the day my conversion back home began was on September 23, 1996, just after six at night, when the Lord took the man who glued all those arks together, home. The road back home, in many many ways, was like waiting “for the glue to dry”.

A few weeks before this past Christmas, I was in need of confession. My husband had been working weekends and making it to confession on Saturdays was next to imposable because I would have to bring my two small children with me. Mind you, they are 4 and 5 and them sitting quietly, without mom for any given second, IN church, while mom is in the confessional is WAY to much to ask of them. Something had been weighing very heavy on my soul and I didn’t want to wait for an appointment time with my priest. I looked for any Catholic Church where confession was offered at a different time and found Saint Joseph’s Cathedral. I was so happy for two reasons. One, I found a church and two, I had never been in a cathedral before.

I arrived at the Cathedral 20 minutes before the doors were open. I sat on the front steps and prayed until it was time to go in. When I walked in, my eyes were adjusting to to the light change and I was blinded for a few moments until my eyes adjusted and was overwhelmed with the beauty I was seeing. The extremely large stained glass windows let in the only light at that time, along with the light that came in through the open doors. There were workmen everywhere doing reconstruction work, but it didn’t take away the beauty from this place I was in. I preceded to walk to the confessional and stand in line during this visit. My mind was more on my confession and not where I was confessing. After the sacrament, daily mass was offered and I stayed. When it was over, I knew I didn’t have much time to spend in this beautiful place, and my return back was a must.

My return trip was for daily mass and of course, confession again, a week before Christmas. For the first time in my life, during this trip to the confessional, I was able to hear the words “I absolve you of these sins, and all your sins”, with my heart. I walked out of the confessional, sat in the pew and felt the weight of the world come off my shoulders. I became so relaxed, I stretched my arms across the back of the pew, and tossed my head back, looking up to the ceiling to thank Christ for the joy and peace, and at that exact moment, He took my breath away again. I stared in amazement at the beamed ceiling. The massive roof trusses all exposed, just like Noah’s Ark. I went limp and I remembered the gift I received every Christmas.

I then noticed the small hatch like windows along with the porthole lights just below the roof line, reminiscent of a ship’s. Knowing full well, God’s plan to Noah, did not have these, but wondered if it was God’s plan for me to catch this detail, to remind me of the hours I spent as a child and the “Great Flood” of remembering filled me. I pondered my 40 plus years alive and Noah’s 40 day’s and nights, on his ark, and the rainbow, God’s covenant with man, that he would never destroy the earth in that manner again. But rather with fire. A similar fire I have felt, with the Holy Spirit, purifying my soul, destroying what God did not place in my heart when He created me, on my path back home to the Catholic Church, and in time, into His arms.

Another detail; the marks in the walls. After mass, I looked closer at them. I was overtaken by the thought of the scourging of Jesus. Then I thought again, maybe their just best left in the walls, placed there from all the sins we have committed. Like scars, left in the physical temple as we enter into holy mass to purify the spiritual temple. Either way, with the help of the Holy Spirit, I will not allow myself to become “To Big” to lose that peace, joy and wonderment again. Every time I return there, I am that small child again at Christmas, but now small enough to enter into the “Ark.”

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