Tag Archives: Confession

Third Week Of Advent

891685_10202908353337894_1795995171_o

Closing out the Second week of Advent, I was able to attend our parish Penance Service. For the first time in many weeks, I was able to make a clean and beautiful confession. I entered into the Sacrament with nothing to lose and everything to gain. Half way through confession, I began to cry like a baby. Many things I had not seen before had come to light in my heart, and it was so wonderful to finally let go of the many false hopes I had had and become nothing again.

I had found many things this week which needed to be addressed within. The first being that little room I had created within for our Lord and I, to rest. It was as if so much of the world and its noise had entered into that solitude, that I had to strain just to hear Him. Our Lord reminded me of something I had not been doing in my daily routine, since I had begun testing for MS. He had shown me what was missing, therefor handing me the key to that room, which seemed to be locked with me on the outside.

Since my injury, I had been missing daily Mass. It became painful to sit in the pew, so I had not gone, but rather began to watch the televised Mass. Over time, distractions came, and something else or nothing was on, as I simply turned the television off.  It became very clear to me this week, that my presence at Daily Mass, is truly essential to the spiritual well being of my soul. Its been almost two years of testing and the first year, seen me locked in my bed, or in a chair. I had begun physical therapy a year into this condition, and regained the use of my hands, built up strength and became able to do most things again, limiting the amount of weight I can carry, but still able to move and do most chores. As I did, I began to slip into old habits where I lost patience with others, and began to do things which bothered my interior life. Mainly seeing things I began doing not being as charitable as I had been, nor as I know I could be. Why was this happening? Well, because I had addressed the body, without addressing the spirit. I was working out and doing things externally without thinking about the spiritual needs of my soul and the presence of our Lord in the Eucharist, which became a daily necessity! I was missing Him.

With this Third Week of Advent, and that light upon the pink candle, may we come to realize the importance of our Lord’s real presence within us, and keep the fire within lit, by Him, with Him and through Him. Least we become like smoldering wicks, cooled in a time when His flame of Love can be found, as He is the One they said would come.

May all come to drink, feast and rely on Him who Is!

“My spirit has become dry because it forgets to feed on You.” – St. John of the Cross

 

 

 

Leave a comment

Filed under Reflections, Uncategorized

It’s Dead – Sacrament of Confession Remains Sealed


“St. Margaret of Antioch slaying the dragon”

The author of SB 360 did not have the votes he needed to succeed. The bill has been pulled from committee.

Join: KEEP THE SEAL

St. Margaret of Antioch, pray for us.
Our Lady of Mount Carmel, pray for us
Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on us all.

California confession law dropped

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Being Convicted And Our Guilt: The Advocate

gavel

When our Lord said He would send us an Advocate, one must first ask, what is an Advocate?

ad·vo·cate
noun
/ˈadvəkət/
a person who publicly supports or recommends a particular cause or policy.

If I was a criminal, which we all truly are in the spiritual sense, as we are all guilty sinners, I am granted the right to an Attorney.  When our Lord told us He would send an Advocate, this is in fact the Holy Spirit. What does this mean to us? He is here to guide, and help us in the many internal and external struggles we face, to stay on the right path and not to be lead astray by what we are lacking. If I were to represent myself in a court of law, without ANY knowledge or understanding of the Law, where would I be sent for many years by the Judge who knows all? If I chose to represent myself, am I not doing what our Lord told us not to do? Would I therefore be pleading “Innocent” when in fact I am guilty? Would I look to be insane by the Judge and then would I not actually BE insane by NOT taking the advise and direction of the Advocate our Lord has appointed to me?

The very moment we do something wrong, we know it to be wrong, because our “conscious” tells us it is wrong. In the deep chambers of this conscious, resides the Advocate. As we act on the wrong decision and sin, we are convicted. This is a moment of grace. A moment to be CONVERTED. A moment in which our stone hearts, can be changed to flesh. When we continue on that wrong path, we are walking away from the Advocate there to help, and we begin to build a mountain of guilt.  What is a soul to do with guilt? How does one get rid of it? We can try to repress or suppress it, but over years, it becomes something that consumes and rots us from the inside out. By the time it manifests externally, which mind you, does not take very long as others can see guilt a mile away, even when we choose not to and think we have wonderfully hidden it,  it becomes a burden that eats away at our relations with others through depression, anxiety and anger. Left very long or not very long at all, depending on the sensitivity of the soul, it shows itself as mania, hysteria, psychosis, and many times takes us into suicide and or murder.

How then is a soul to rid ones self of its own guilt? By embracing the guilt. Embracing it and you take it to the dumpster and walk away from it. If I am appointed an Attorney for a trial, am I not to tell my Attorney everything that has taken place to ensure a “Light” sentence? Our Lord knows our guilt. No one gets away with murder. No one gets away with anything. Sin is sin and the wages of all sin is death. Guilt and holding on to the guilt of our sins, is that millstone around our necks. How is that millstone shattered? By taking the Counsel that has been appointed to us by our Lord. Do everything He tells you. Beginning with a great Confession. The act of confessing, is the beginning of cleaning up the guilt we have accumulated or if you would hoarding guilt, for years and years. You know that our Lord has told us that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit. When our interiors are packed with sin and guilt, it makes it very difficult to find anything, let alone that room where the Advocate is located. Confessing our sins and turning away from them, is how we clean up that interior in order to find that hidden room under the exorbitant amount  of guilt we buried Him under.

What to do while we are being convicted? Silence, contemplation and prayer. Have you ever been told to shut up and listen for your own good? This is the time to do just that. Speak when He directs you to. Say what He is advising you to say. Act, as He is directing you to act. He is here to help you. It is mercy He seeks for you. Even when the worst most horrific things about you are being revealed. The horror of it all, is no horror to Him who already knows. The horror of it all, is to YOU who thought you had hidden it and thought it would just all go away. Like a parent who catches their child with their hand in the cookie jar, you are so busted. And He still loves you. Like a rat in a trap, squirming to be released,  in everything you have ever done. And He loves all His creatures. The Advocate will NOT release you. The question remains, “Do you love me?”.

The Advocate will advise you to plead GUILTY and not to continue in the guilt, but to keep clean, live a model life until your court case is heard. His advice is always to REPENT and believe in the Gospel. Not yourself.  It is the Judge who will do the releasing and sentencing, and we hope it might just be for time served, if you begin to serve the sentence before you stand in front of the Judge.

Welcome the Advocate with open arms. Don’t do what you know is not good. Do not push Him away. Pray for Him to come to you, and help you to make it through it all.

Come Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of your faithful and kindle in them the fire of your love. Send forth your Spirit and they shall be created. And You shall renew the face of the earth. O, God, who by the light of the Holy Spirit, did instruct the hearts of the faithful, grant that by the same Holy Spirit we may be truly wise and ever enjoy His consolations, Through Christ Our Lord, Amen.

Here is a wonderful video by Venerable Bishop Fulton John Sheen. For some reason, it will not play from the beginning. Please, watch it from the start, not half way through.

Leave a comment

Filed under Reflections

Confession And Transfiguration

20150131_151010

This morning, I had seen a post on Facebook by a wonderful priest, with a hashtag’s  #Confession  #IGotNervousToo 

I felt compelled to write about my return to the Sacrament of Confession after not having gone for 30 years, with a photo of the Church I had attended, which was Sts. Peter and Paul, Cary IL. I will share the story below:

My first time going to confession after years, I didn’t know I was even going to confession. Something in my heart told me go to the church. SO I did. It had been about 30 years. I walked into an empty Church. No one there but a woman turning off the lights. I began to cry sitting there thinking about how miserable of a life I had been living and would never even be accepted here. I got a tap on the shoulder and it was a Priest. He sat with me for about a good hour. 20 minutes of which we just talked. Then he asked me if I would like to confess my sins. I didn’t even know what I was doing. I said yes. July 1998. It was a rocky road at first, but now? I make sure to go at least every other week. #IGotNervousToo#Confession

Tonight as I was pondering my Carmelite Lectio Divina, I was struck with awe. From the time I had returned, I had always thought that my old Parish, looked very similar to a tent on the inside. I loved that Parish and the Priest who heard my confession. It was a welcome home that I would never forget. I have written a lot in this blog about the struggles and suffering I have faced for the past 20 years, which drew me to leave there and head out on a journey, in which ever day, brought me through many sufferings but into the arms of our Lord, in a way I could never deny.

I had to go back to my post on Facebook to add:

Oh my goodness! I had always thought that this Church looked like a tent! As I pondered my Lectio Divina tonight – “Peter wants to build three tents, because it was the sixth day of the feast of tents. This was a very popular feast of six days that celebrated the gift of the Law of God and the forty years spent in the desert. ” – How I wish I could have stayed in this parish! I loved it so! But our Lord was not finished with me!  Praise be to our LORD 

Back then,  I couldn’t yet, understand the Cross.

38537733_675934786097081_227001653092417536_n

 

1 Comment

Filed under Reflections, Uncategorized

Eucharist, Passover, First Born, Death & Life

page3_blog_entry0_1

Pondering…

At Passover: Exodus 12 “For on this same night I will go through Egypt, striking down every firstborn in the land, human being and beast alike, and executing judgment on all the gods of Egypt—I, the LORD! But for you the blood will mark the houses where you are. Seeing the blood, I will pass over you; thereby, when I strike the land of Egypt, no destructive blow will come upon you. This day will be a day of remembrance for you, which your future generations will celebrate with pilgrimage to the LORD; you will celebrate it as a statute forever.”

Last Supper: Mark 14 “While they were eating, he took bread, said the blessing, broke it, and gave it to them, and said, “Take it; this is my body.” 23 Then he took a cup, gave thanks, and gave it to them, and they all drank from it. He said to them, 1 Corinthians 11 –  “This cup is the new covenant in my blood. Do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of me.”

Therefore whoever eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord unworthily will have to answer for the body and blood of the Lord. A person should examine himself,and so eat the bread and drink the cup. For anyone who eats and drinks without discerning the body, eats and drinks judgment on himself. That is why many among you are ill and infirm, and a considerable number are dying.

27f5e6094cae75c0decbf4db4d9bd017

The Blood of the Lamb… Our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit. Shouldn’t our Lord’s precious blood always cover the doorposts to our temple, just as the doorposts were covered in the blood of a lamb during Passover. Ensuring that the angel of death pass us by? Where is this Precious Blood to be found but in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Where redemption is found to the soul who seeks repenting.

How do we receive our Lord in the Eucharist? Is it in a clean temple? Do we prepare to receive Him by examination of our conscious? Do we look deep into how we are living and ask if it is the way we were called to live by our Lord or is it a sinful life we called ourselves to live? Do we repent and seek reconciliation first? If the door posts are not covered in His Precious Blood, are we inviting death instead of Life?

Our Lord is the First Born from the dead. He is the First and the Last. He is the only begotten Son, sacrificed for us on the cross for the forgiveness of our sins.. No other Sacrifice has covered our sins.

Repent.

Cohabitation And Holy Communion

 

Leave a comment

Filed under Reflections, Uncategorized

Old Man And The New Man

P35

 

Once an old man spread rumors that his neighbor was a thief. As a result, the young man was arrested.
Days later the young man was proven innocent. After being released he sued the old man for wrongly accusing him.
In the court the old man told the Judge:
“They were just comments, didn’t harm anyone.”
The judge told the old man:
“Write all the things you said about him on a piece of paper. Tear it up on the way home and throw away the pieces. Tomorrow, come back to hear the sentence.”
Next day, the judge told the old man:
“Before receiving the sentence, you will have to go out and gather all the pieces of paper that you threw out yesterday.”
The old man said:
“I can’t do that! The wind spread them and I won’t know where to find them.”
The judge then replied:
“The same way, simple comments may destroy the honor of a man to such an extent that one is not able to fix it. If you can’t speak well of someone, rather don’t say anything.”

*”Let’s all be masters of our words rather than being slaves of our words.”*


“Write everything down, on the way home, tear it up and throw away the pieces” <— Its very important to understand, we just don’t cast it (sin) to the wind where it is taken all over and others read it and are influenced by it to do the same. We place it in the trash can when we get home. That “trash can” is the confessional and you know where home is. And when you place it there, leave it there.

When I read this above, which was shared on Facebook by a Catholic Priest,  I can see myself as both the young man and the old man. The “old self” and the “new self”.

And what is a soul to do? Trust in our Lord. Place your faith in our Lord. Hope in our Lord. Believe Him. Love Him.

 

Leave a comment

Filed under Reflections, Uncategorized

Why We March – Day 8 #iStand4Life

his-image
Intercession

For an end to the use of the death penalty in our country.

JUSTICE! I want JUSTICE! Perfect justice is a conversion of heart..

Beloved, do not look for revenge but leave room for the wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” – Romans 12:19

When we look to our Lord, mercy and justice go hand and hand. What is more beautiful justice, to end another life or to convert the heart of that soul who’s been blinded by their own injustice to others? To see ones sin and turn from it to do good and not sin, is justice served. By taking away life, justice is there by taken away in the means that the soul is unable to make amends for that injustice committed.

How often to we look at others who have hurt us and say from our hearts,  “if you could only see how you are hurting.”. By taking away a life, we are not allowing that person to see, in their time, given to them by God, but rather taking justice into our own hands.Taking away the gift of repentance. Taking into our own hands and exercising the Sovereignty of God in a way that is contrary to God.

“Do I find pleasure in the death of the wicked—oracle of the Lord GOD? Do I not rejoice when they turn from their evil way and live? And if the just turn from justice and do evil, like all the abominations the wicked do, can they do this evil and still live? None of the justice they did shall be remembered, because they acted treacherously and committed these sins; because of this, they shall die”  Ezekiel 18:23-24

Please read my story: The Power of Forgiveness

 

 

 

Leave a comment

Filed under Prayers, Reflections, Uncategorized

Why We March – Day 2 #IStand4Life

divinemercy

Repent and believe in the Good News…

*Because January 22, 2017 falls on a Sunday, the annual “Day of Prayer for the Legal Protection of Unborn Children” is observed Monday, January 23 in 2017.

#9DaysforLife with @USCCB Day 2

How to pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet via EWTN

Leave a comment

Filed under Prayers, Reflections, Uncategorized

Free Climate Change Education

Side

adam-and-eve-in-the-garden-of-eden-1530

RE: Priests ‘should learn about climate change as part of their formation’

Two sides of the education:

Side one..

Climate Change & Global Warming = Garbage science of secular propaganda where man believes he can control the climate by buying it away & making tons of money selling it to consumers (AKA suckers) feeding off fears of global destruction.

“Money is in some respects like fire; it is a very excellent servant but a terrible master. ” – P. T. Barnum

Now..

Side two…

side-wound

Our Lords “Global Warming” & Changing the Climate within = a serious conversion of heart, turning from sin and towards Him, loving Him first and realizing the natural desire of love (Before the fall of Adam & Eve) is love one another which includes taking care of (nurturing) ALL CREATION & Creatures of God’s, for future generations for the glory of God and not self…

From the CCC
God creates an ordered and good world
299 Because God creates through wisdom, his creation is ordered: “You have arranged all things by measure and number and weight.”151 The universe, created in and by the eternal Word, the “image of the invisible God”, is destined for and addressed to man, himself created in the “image of God” and called to a personal relationship with God.152 Our human understanding, which shares in the light of the divine intellect, can understand what God tells us by means of his creation, though not without great effort and only in a spirit of humility and respect before the Creator and his work.153 Because creation comes forth from God’s goodness, it shares in that goodness – “And God saw that it was good. . . very good” 154- for God willed creation as a gift addressed to man, an inheritance destined for and entrusted to him. On many occasions the Church has had to defend the goodness of creation, including that of the physical world. 155

God upholds and sustains creation.
301 With creation, God does not abandon his creatures to themselves. He not only gives them being and existence, but also, and at every moment, upholds and sustains them in being, enables them to act and brings them to their final end. Recognizing this utter dependence with respect to the Creator is a source of wisdom and freedom, of joy and confidence:

For you love all things that exist, and detest none of the things that you have made; for you would not have made anything if you had hated it. How would anything have endured, if you had not willed it? Or how would anything not called forth by you have been preserved? You spare all things, for they are yours, O Lord, you who love the living. 160

 

Psalm 104

I

1 Bless the LORD, my soul!

LORD, my God, you are great indeed!

You are clothed with majesty and splendor,

2 robed in light as with a cloak.

You spread out the heavens like a tent;

3 setting the beams of your chambers upon the waters.

You make the clouds your chariot;

traveling on the wings of the wind.

4 You make the winds your messengers;

flaming fire, your ministers.

II

5 You fixed the earth on its foundation,

so it can never be shaken.

6 The deeps covered it like a garment;

above the mountains stood the waters.

7 At your rebuke they took flight;

at the sound of your thunder they fled.

8 They rushed up the mountains, down the valleys

to the place you had fixed for them.

9 You set a limit they cannot pass;

never again will they cover the earth.

III

10 You made springs flow in wadies

that wind among the mountains.

11 They give drink to every beast of the field;

here wild asses quench their thirst.

12 Beside them the birds of heaven nest;

among the branches they sing.

13You water the mountains from your chambers;

from the fruit of your labor the earth abounds.

14 You make the grass grow for the cattle

and plants for people’s work

to bring forth food from the earth,

15wine to gladden their hearts,

oil to make their faces shine,

and bread to sustain the human heart.

16 The trees of the LORD drink their fill,

the cedars of Lebanon, which you planted.

17 There the birds build their nests;

the stork in the junipers, its home.

18 The high mountains are for wild goats;

the rocky cliffs, a refuge for badgers.

IV

19 You made the moon to mark the seasons,

the sun that knows the hour of its setting.

20 You bring darkness and night falls,

then all the animals of the forest wander about.

21 Young lions roar for prey;

they seek their food from God.

22 When the sun rises, they steal away

and settle down in their dens.

23 People go out to their work,

to their labor till evening falls.

V

24 How varied are your works, LORD!

In wisdom you have made them all;

the earth is full of your creatures.

25 There is the sea, great and wide!

It teems with countless beings,

living things both large and small.

26 There ships ply their course

and Leviathan, whom you formed to play with.

VI

27 All of these look to you

to give them food in due time.

28 When you give it to them, they gather;

when you open your hand, they are well filled.

29 When you hide your face, they panic.

Take away their breath, they perish

and return to the dust.

30 Send forth your spirit, they are created

and you renew the face of the earth.

VII

31 May the glory of the LORD endure forever;

may the LORD be glad in his works!

32 Who looks at the earth and it trembles,

touches the mountains and they smoke!

33 I will sing to the LORD all my life;

I will sing praise to my God while I live.

34 May my meditation be pleasing to him;

I will rejoice in the LORD.

35 May sinners vanish from the earth,

and the wicked be no more.

Bless the LORD, my soul! Hallelujah!

End of education

Thank you & God bless you always

EDIT TO ADD:

The media loves to stir the pot. Here is the actual document issued today. Tell me where exactly that headline at the top of this post, is the only thing covered in the actual Document released today. Its a very small portion, and once again, headlines get readers, even if the content and information is miniscule:

The Gift Of Priestly Vocation

Vatican issues new guidelines for priestly formation

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Holy Week Direct From Heaven

20160321_113535 (1)

I have written quite often about my conversion concerning the day my dad entered into eternal life. It was September 23, 1996, the feast of St. Padre Pio and my dad had been the glue that held my family, brothers and sisters and myself together. Since his death, many have left the Catholic faith and went off doing what ever. In all honestly, since I moved out to California I had lost contact with most of them and focused on what I had asked in that prayer.

The night my dad died, as he lay dying, I prayed that he would talk to our Lord and get me back home to Him. Here we are, 2016 and after extensive repenting and getting back in communion, I will be making my first Profession in the Third Order Of Carmel, TOC on October 1.

This morning at Holy Mass, during the Homily, my priest had told us that the main objective of our duties this Holy Week, was New Evangelization to those within our own Family’s who had left the faith. I sat with my head hung low as I knew this job that had just been presented to me, would be extremely difficult, as my brothers and sisters in my own family, along with nieces and nephews and even my own oldest daughter, have left the faith. Along with cousins, and others. Outside of an older sister of mine, the entire family stopped believing in Him and the faith we all grew up into and went their own ways. It has been extremely painful for me in many ways as I have been viewed by them as the crazy one. One never to be listened to. From the onset of my Conversion of Heart, I can not stop listening to our Lord, nor will I. I left them all and continued to cling to our Lord and the only Truth left in this world. And here we are.

This morning after Holy Mass, I took our Lord in the Eucharist to a few souls in the Nursing Home and had a conversation with an elderly friend of mine named Lilly, who is also a professed member of my Carmelite family.

We spoke about the topic of New Evangelization to family, and I had expressed to her that the only way anyone would ever listen to me, in my own family or home, was if I were dead. After leaving her, I prayed and realized I am dead to them. The person they knew no longer exists and they still won’t listen.

I arrived at home and the mail man had come. I noticed two packages and brought them in without even looking to see who they were addressed for. I assumed they were for my daughter and husband. As I was placing them on the table, I noticed my name on one of them. The return address was my sister whom I don’t talk to much anymore. I opened the package and cried when I seen what it was. Here in a package addressed to me was a message never intended for me, but for all my brothers and sisters who have left the faith. Directly from my dad.

20160321_113553

Inside the box I found my dad’s First Holy Communion Certificate dated May 21, 1936 along with his personal prayer book. I read the letter attached from my sister which stated, she had found these in an envelop with my dad’s personal items, marked specifically, “Important Papers”. I knew just how important they are but unfortunately, my sister didn’t understand who they were meant for. This package was a direct message from my dad to my brothers and sisters who had left the faith. The “Important Paper” with your name on it. Remember YOUR Baptism. Remember YOUR First Holy Communion. Remember YOUR Confirmation. Remember OUR Lord. Remember OUR First Love. Return to Him. There is nothing else on the face of the earth more important than our faith. I also knew my dad needed me share this with them. They refuse to listen to me, I pray they listen to him. I pray they return to our Lord also. I pray all my Catholic Family return back home to Him, with their entire heart, mind, soul and strength. There is no greater Love than His for you. Repent. The door is open. Homecoming is just one confession away. I love you and I pray for all my brothers and sisters. St. Constantine the Great, pray for us.

All praise, glory and honor to our Lord, Jesus Christ. Amen.

EDIT TO ADD: After I had written this today, a tweet came across from the USCCB that just filled me with our Lord’s love.

 

untitled.png

From tonight’s Divine Office: Evening Prayer

“Listen, O daughter, give ear to my words:
forget your own people and your father’s house.
So will the king desire your beauty:
He is your lord, pay homage to him.”

1 Comment

Filed under Mercy, Prayers, Reflections, Uncategorized

Polls

pictures-of-crosses-jesus-1127718-wallpaper

 

The only polls that ever mattered, or will…. Hint – Stick with the One in the center.

For through the law I died to the law, that I might live for God. I have been crucified with Christ; yet I live, no longer I, but Christ lives in me; insofar as I now live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son of God who has loved me and given himself up for me.

 

Leave a comment

Filed under Reflections, Uncategorized

Praise To You Lord Jesus Christ

sun-behind-dark-clouds-featured-w740x493

 

“If it is by the power of God that I cast out devils, says the Lord, then the kingdom of God has come to you already.”

I am grateful Lord, for the trials, tribulations, sufferings and pain.  Praise, glory and honor to you O Lord Jesus Christ. My Lord and my God. Thank you Lord for Your joy and your peace. May I bring this peace and joy that you have placed in the heart of my heart, to all you place on this path in exile and may they also, return to you O Lord with their entire heart. I love you my Lord and my God and know as I am still in exile, I am incapable of loving You more than you love us. Sacred Heart of Jesus, I place all my hope, love, faith and trust in You and I freely give this entire heart in me, that you keep alive, cleaning, beating,  and nurtured by you Lord,  to you, Jesus Christ my King, through the Immaculate Heart of Mary, our Mother. Amen

Leave a comment

Filed under Reflections, Uncategorized

JOY And Thanksgiving

Lights

 

An estimated 2 million people took part in the procession at the Eucharistic Congress.

I pray for all souls to bring our Lord back, in such splendor, into your hearts.

My Lord and my God

Words can not describe the JOY in my heart and soul, watching the video below.

 

For the full story: CLICK HERE

 

CaA8Z4lUcAAIBLU

1 Comment

Filed under Prayers, Reflections, Uncategorized

9 Days For Life – Day 9

12573768_1225018214181823_8262159417674134760_n

For today’s Novena, please CLICK HERE

Life is worth living

12345567_10208566196820445_991565699286897056_n

Leave a comment

Filed under Prayers, Reflections, Uncategorized

9 Days For Life – Day 6

12495011_1225007610849550_4006400929326069913_n

For today’s Novena please CLICK LINK

12509141_10208854057856791_745195252060081279_n

Lord Jesus Christ, Spouse of my soul, I ask You through the intercession of St. Agnes to keep my soul undefiled, from all sins of the flesh, sins against Your precious Body and Blood, that have inundated the world in which we are only in exile for a short while, for the purpose of pleasing You for all eternity; I ask also for the protection of the children, whom You O Lord have given to me as innocent little souls, for that same protection to all my family, therefor oh Spouse of my soul, to bring into this world a stronger Culture of Life in which the protection of innocence of all in exile is obtained. St. Agnes, patron of young girls, chastity, rape survivors, and the Children of Mary, pray for us. Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on us all, hear us crying out to you O Lord for your Merciful healing from all that displeases Thee. Amen

(Via Catholic OnLine) Prayer for the Virtue of Chastity

Jesus, Fortress of mankind, You are Immaculate as God and Man! Bless me with Your infinite graces, That I may remain in a state of purity. Strengthen my body, spirit and soul To continually reflect Your chastity. Protect my soul in its daily struggles, Guiding it to ponder on Your Godliness. Defend me from the forces of evil, Those that seek to acquire my soul: I am truly Yours forever and ever. Holy is my King, the Conqueror of sin!

Overcoming Pornography Addiction

Leave a comment

Filed under Prayers, Reflections, Uncategorized

Powerball?

b539bf0e15b66fa0371908b3b27150b4

Eucharist. Greater payout for all eternity than a 1.5 billion dollar powerball ticket.

Pure joy.

Leave a comment

Filed under Reflections, Uncategorized

Tangles Of The World

SAMSUNG

As I sat in front of our Lord in Exposition Friday night, I began to ponder my entire life in general. I could see it among a tangled mess of fishing line, but it was different. What used to be tangled and trapped, was now a ball of line in a tangled mess, in my hands. I began to ponder the mess and see the knots in this mess, thinking of how, if it could be even remotely possible, to sit and untie all those horrible knots of sin. I asked our Lord how I could even remotely confess this mess and in prayer, He gave me the roots of that entire mess which caused my leaving Him in the first place.

A few weeks ago, I began to pray a novena I had not prayed before, Unfailing Novena To The Virgin Mary Untier of Knots. As I began, I placed my entire self into her hands, giving her everything I have seen, everything I was confused over, everything that had lead me astray and everything I had done. It was our Holy Mother in this Novena, who cut me lose from that tangled mess I had tangled myself in. When she placed it in my hands and I was able to see, I was unsure what to do with it. How could I fix this? It was our Lord in Exposition who made it clear to me, that all that sin was worthless and can not be used for anything. That “line of thought” I had was nothing but a mess and it was now in my hands to do what is right and just with it. In asking our Lord and in Him giving me the “roots”, of the cause, pride, covetousness and lust, I knew the only course of action to take, was to place it in His hands in His beautiful Sacrament of Confession, where He could toss it away, never to be used again by me or others, to never become tangled again in. This isn’t something we can just toss away ourselves by thinking we will never become tangled again because we are curious creatures and we forget the things that hurt us, hurt others also.

When we become tangled in a sinful “line of thought” it becomes a mess we tangle and capture others in, dragging them down into the deep sins we commit. Unless we are cut loose completely, the evil one tugs us back down, bringing others with us, no matter how close to our Lord we become. When we hand it to our Lord in His Sacrament of Confession, He cuts the line, He burns it and it can never be used against us again, and we become free.

I am grateful to our Lord for His gifts, especially the gift of His Mother to us, who teaches us how to use the NEW “line of thought” through her beautiful model.

Jesus Christ is my King.

Pondering 2 Peter Chapter 2

Leave a comment

Filed under Prayers, Reflections, Uncategorized

The Temptation Of The Sexual Revolution

temptation_650_375

Pondering: Vatican II (inside the church) not being the reason souls left the pews, but the temptation of the ‘sexual revolution” (on the outside), being the “apple” many “fell for” that lead souls astray and out of the pews. Therefore our Lord was already prepared to address the needs of a society of souls far off, and the Father meeting them on the road to welcome them back home.

If souls were “obedient” and in love with our Lord, there wouldn’t have been a mass exodus. It’s as if a fear of something other than of our Lord gripped the souls in the pews rather than “trust” and “obedience” to our Lord, which holds all souls in love.. Just as a temptation that “original sin” is a thing of the past grips souls today and holds them in that same lack of “obedience” to God.

BUT “patience obtains all things” and “all things work for the greater glory of God”.

Just pondering….

3 Comments

Filed under Mercy, Reflections

Small Things

B4D9C0FC53C94E8BA211B3CD61DCE633

As I began making dinner tonight, after not feeling very well, I started gathering all I needed for dinner that was supposed to be made last night. I have had a fever and not sure what my body is doing again, and my children & husband escaped to a school function so I was left with a lot of ingredients, and no need to use them, or to cook yesterday.

Tonight, I’m preparing a pasta & shrimp meal with garlic & shallots, green onions and some lemons. I love cooking with our Lord as I am in “conversation” with Him through prayer. Simply asking Him, okay, what do we add here and should I use this and He points the little things out to me. It makes for a beautiful way to prepare a meal when the family is off doing what they are doing and allows me time away to enjoy the little consultations that our Lord gives to me.

Tonight as the meal is simmering in the pan, our Lord allowed me reflect on the topic of conversation that has been on everyone’s mind in regards to receiving Him at Holy Mass. I had shared my story before, but tonight as I began to ponder it, He made me laugh so hard and filled me with His joy. A few days ago, I had brought my girls to the mall and we entered into a store called Bath and Body Works. To be honest, I don’t much care for their products as that’s just not where I find simple pleasures, and this is in no way a plug, but its funny how things work in the end, and give glory to our Lord, even when the world doesn’t understand what it did, or is doing.

I allowed my daughter to purchase a few things that she liked and as we made our way to the back of the store, I notice next to the register, a bottle of hand soap named “Lemoncello”. I laughed because I had heard this story a few months ago: Rome prepares for Holy Year of Mercy – with ice cream. I purchased the limoncello soap.

Back to making dinner and pondering with our Lord, all the ingredients were in the pan, and now were ready to simply simmer. I walked to the sink and began to wash my hands. As I used the soap, I noticed the name: Bath and Body Works. I smiled as our Lord began to remind me again. Bath meaning Confession, as the Sacrament of Confession is the “shower for your soul” and Body meaning Eucharist, His Body in a state of grace, followed by “Works”. It works. Peace. “This is the time for mercy.” “Gather in my name”, not scatter.

Its a great consultation to have Him cooking with me in this home, I look forward to going to His home for our next meal together.

Praise, glory and honor to our Lord.

Praying for conversions back to our Lord now,and always, especially for the coming of the Holy Year of Mercy.

Leave a comment

Filed under Mercy, Reflections, Uncategorized

Ecology Of Pope Francis – Update

The Global Warming Of Hearts

Please see the edits to the previous post.

CQZ-bckVEAAH41d

Peg Pondering Again

landscape-waterfall

Ecology of Pope Francis.

LISTEN UP! What Pope Francis is saying, is when you place love of God, Abba Father, above ALL ELSE, there would be no need to talk about a clean environment, saving abused animals, ending abortion etc. because it would BE CLEANER, they would be “saved” because placing your love for Him above all else, trickles down and shows in your love for all His creation and creatures. “Right Praise” and “Right Worship” becomes doing what is right and just. Faith and works. Its the love relationship.”“If you love me, you will keep my commandments” <–click there

End of rant. It all starts with YOU! “Who do YOU say that I am?” LIVE IT!

E·col·o·gy
ēˈkäləjē/

the branch of biology that deals with the relations of organisms to one another and to their physical surroundings.

Our Lords way of “Global Warming”

EDIT TO ADD: Pope Francis…

View original post 20 more words

Leave a comment

Filed under God, Holy Mass, Holy Spirit, Hope, Jesus Christ, Love, Mercy

Beauty Of Reality

588095f2693d964beb308faf2064ab43

I had a very hard time falling asleep last night as I was pondering the state of the world and what is taking place. Although our hearts can be crushed at times, our love, hope and faith can not. I had posted something to Facebook last night:

We are facing Iran with nukes, US Marines being assassinated by terrorists, children being murdered and body parts harvested for profit, the media practicing Communist censoring tactics, forcing Catholic Nuns to supply birth control because the government no longer considers them to be a “religious group”, All out assault on the Catholic Church by the government, Gender neutrality, destruction of the natural family, homosexual “marriage”, flags being the cause of murdering people and terrorists are not, Kindergartners being taught sex education, Teens able to get an abortion without parental notification but are not Adults, Christians being labeled hate groups…. And the big story is an earthquake MAY wipe out the entire Pacific NW is supposed to worry me? Please. You can’t stop the earthquake. Everything else is the real problem that NEEDS attention and is all self inflected. ASAP. Lord have mercy on us all.

As I lay in bed, unable to sleep and found myself pondering all the things taking place, I began to pray to our Lord. Asking Him why? Asking Him how could so many souls be so lost in “worldliness” and not see true peace in Him? I pondered a post to twitter that i had made in regards to “crickets chirping” from anyone in the state government of California in regards to investigating planned parenthood.

I began to pray the rosary as I lay in bed. My focus was drawn on to the suffering of our Lord amidst the crowds of people who did not believe Him on the road to Calvary. It was horrific to see our Lord spat on and mocked. Ignored and very little compassion shown to Him. What I couldn’t help but see was He also went through the crowds of souls who didn’t care about Him. Didn’t want to hear Him. Had better things to do then repent and believe what He had said and done. I fell asleep and began to dream….

I had the most beautiful dream I have ever had. I was walking in the City of God. I was a princess being courted by our King. Everyone was full of joy. Everyone knew me and was so kind. Kindness radiated for every soul, no matter where I walked. But I didn’t know me. A man approached me and I knew Him to be our Lord without saying a word to me. He offered me everything and I asked Him, “Will you read me this book?”, I don’t know what the book was, and His smile answered. He was dressed for a huge celebration and wanted me to join Him. I kept telling him I needed to get ready. I needed to get dressed. He smiled and I heard in my heart, “Go look”. He knew I was complete, but I couldn’t comprehend what complete entailed. I walked into a small changing room that was full of mirrors. I had thought I was not dressed and ready for this celebration. I had been fumbling around in a purse for lipstick and when I looked up to apply it, nothing was needed. When I looked at myself, I was perfect. He had dressed me in what I had needed. He made me ready for where we needed to go. He provided everything without my even knowing it was already complete, it was done.

I woke up and my eyes fixed on the picture of our Lord in the Eucharist that I have on my dresser. The peace and joy that I had in this dream remained with me when I woke from it. And I still have it this evening. I had this immense ringing in my ears that sounded like crickets as I woke. What came to my heart the second I was aware of the ringing in my ears was Scripture John 8 21:30 with our Lord telling my heart, if they are not listening to Him, don’t listen to the misery they cause for themselves. Offering only Him in their pain. Hear nothing but the chirping crickets. Do not let it drag you into misery yourself. Peace. Faith, hope and love in Christ always.

Today I find myself pondering most of John 8 and knowing in my heart, it is already complete. Souls only need to answer Him, yes or no.

I had a dream I was a princess being courted by our King. When I woke up, it wasn’t a dream but the beauty of reality in living our faith in Him.

Glory, praise and honor to our Lord, Jesus Christ, now and forever. Amen

“Let us understand that God is a Physician and that suffering is a medicine for salvation, not a punishment for damnation.” ~ St. Augustine

Leave a comment

Filed under Prayers, Reflections

Occupy Him

11403418_1023075937704609_6523235092808138434_n

Receive the Sacraments, especially Confession, as often as you can. Not when you feel like it or when its required. Sit with Him in Adoration. Spend time with Him.

From a FB Friend.

Occupy Him
Pray your time zone
Divine Mercy at 3:00 PM daily.
Also the Rosary

Repent. Tell God how sorry you are. Ask Him for forgiveness. None of us is without sin.

He loves you more then you can ever love Him.

Leave a comment

Filed under Prayers

Independence Day From Sinfulness

11695340_10207457036292125_947304448569329523_n

Saturday July 4th, I will be dedicating to our Holy Mother Mary and first Saturday. I ask you to join me as we celebrate her, our Catholic Faith and TRUE Independence from our sinfulness. I have my flag out already. I will be bringing my children to Holy Mass after we all receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Just an idea I feel needs to be shared.

“In the end, My Immaculate Heart will triumph.” – Our Lady of Fatima

FREEDOM!

All praise, honor and glory to our Lord, Jesus Christ.

EDIT to add:

Its not a call to abandon hope, nor to hide inside this day, but to celebrate LIFE in Christ. To still enjoy our Lords creation. TO STILL live the life our Lord has given to us and to appreciate Holiness in the Light. Its not that we are NOT still sinners, but rather we know we are and we are TRYING with the grace of God to get back home to our Lord, in TRUE Love. Agape!

11695846_10207456922289275_6412187377273130109_n

“Praise God, from Whom all blessings flow;
Praise Him, all creatures here below;
Praise Him above, ye heavenly host;
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost!
Amen!”

EDIT:

The original photo has been changed at the top of this post. WITHOUT KNOWING, I was flying my Vatican Flag upside down for many many WEEKS. I didn’t know it. Today, I fixed it. Keep in mind ANY flag flown upside down is a sign of “distress” and NOT disrespect. Pray for this nation and the ENTIRE Church.

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

I Will Not Worship The Golden Calf

sv-semeistvo

REPENT…

All over the MSM you see “Love Wins” in regards to the same sex marriage law being man made legal in 50 US states. Yes. Love most certainly does win but most do not know who He is yet. I pray that many will receive the grace from our Lord for understanding of who He is.

Again SCOTUS chants “We have no king but Caesar”. Just as it was chanted through the pen for Abortion and now for Marriage. Jesus Christ is MY King, not the USA. It was Saint Augustine of Hippo who stated that “An unjust law is no law at all”. Just as an unjust law is no law at all, so to are the men and woman who enforce the unjust law. So to are those who follow the unjust law. I will not. I OPENLY refuse to worship the “Golden Calf” of the nation. Jesus Christ is my King. “But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.” Joshua 24:15

From the USCCB

“Regardless of what a narrow majority of the Supreme Court may declare at this moment in history, the nature of the human person and marriage remains unchanged and unchangeable. Just as Roe v. Wade did not settle the question of abortion over forty years ago, Obergefell v. Hodges does not settle the question of marriage today. Neither decision is rooted in the truth, and as a result, both will eventually fail. Today the Court is wrong again. It is profoundly immoral and unjust for the government to declare that two people of the same sex can constitute a marriage.”

Please continue to read at the link.

Repent. Pray Divine Office 3X daily. Pray the Rosary daily. Pray before every meal. Attend daily Holy Mass (if you can) and if you can not, participate in it through EWTN rebroadcast. Pray without ceasing. Receive the sacraments frequently. “LOVE one another as I have loved you” – Be not afraid. DO not give into disrepair. Give in only to our Lord Jesus Christ. Teach your children to do the same! LIVE the faith. Don’t just talk about it.

The Sacrament of Marriage will never change.

SacramentofMarriage

Leave a comment

Filed under Prayers, Reflections

Age Appropriate

Glenbeigh_St._James'_Church_Nave_Triple_Window_Omnis_Honor_et_Gloria_2012_09_09

“And behold, I am with you always, until the end of the age.”

On this beautiful feast of Corpus Christi, we were blessed with my youngest daughter making her First Holy Communion yesterday at Holy Mass. It was bitter sweet for me, as I quickly learned that I would never be preparing any more of my children for this beautiful Sacrament. I thought of years past, when Grandparents, Aunts & Uncles, Cousins and EVERYONE would pile into the Church to witness this beautiful Sacrament. There was always a huge family gathering that followed with great food and cards & a big cake. There were only five of us in our family to celebrate this beautiful day for her. My husband, her older sister and my sister & brother-in-law.her Aunt & Uncle, my sister & brother in law, along with myself.

Taking into account most of my family is out of state and my parents have been gone for close to 15 years, I found myself at odds with how things were and how they are today. I was wrestling with the Parable of the Wedding Feast. So many invited, but everyone has something better to do. My husbands family consists of a sister, her baby and husband and his mother here in California, about 50 miles north, who very recently suffered a death of a teen nephew and could not attend. The rest of his family is in London and other parts of the world. We did what we could to make it a special day.

I couldn’t help but ponder the utmost importance of the family’s role in the celebration and how big a part they are in making the child receiving the Sacrament understand its a BIG deal. When many come to celebrate something you have done, seeds are planted not for you, but for future generations to come. For them to make the Sacrament a BIG deal for their children and not lose the reverence for it and our Lord, by family that just can’t be bothered to participate. Therefore my child will understand that if she is given the gift of children later on, she to will do everything to make the Sacrament a Big Deal. Because it is.

In my struggles with not having many attend, I was presented with a thought that its not just about one day. Its about every day. Its a continuing “Celebration” in all time and eternity and as long as our Lord was present, so were all the Holy Angles & Saints. So were all those family members who could not be there for the party here with us, who are now with our Lord.

I find myself today, embracing the “tiny bunch of grapes” left in my home that are present to celebrate not only my daughters First Holy Communion, but for all Holy Communions in the Celebration of the Holy Mass that is ongoing for all time and eternity.

As we continued today, my husband surprised me and the girls with a trip to Greek Fest here in San Diego. We ate great food and seen children dancing and my children played games in the children area. As we sat with them, my youngest pointed to a sign and an area for very small children and said to me: “Mommy? Why can’t I be under 3 so I can play in that place?”. The Holy Spirit inflamed my heart with an answer. I said to her, you are under 3. God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit. Sometimes we have to move on to different areas because we grow. That doesn’t mean your not under 3.(Father, Son & Holy Spirit) You will always be under 3. As long as you stay under 3. As we grow bigger, and we look back, we forget to look back forward to the things we can do and need to do rather then the things we can’t do anymore. God wants to show you new things as you are growing. She completely understood it! She didn’t throw a fit, she moved on. And so did I.

May the Celebration continue!

Glory to God.

EDIT TO ADD: From June 4th, 2015. Pope Francis on Twitter: “We need to build up society in the light of the Beatitudes, walking towards the Kingdom with the least among us.”

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

All We Need

Holy_Trinity-300x277

Last night my family and I attended the San Diego Padres game. We bought tickets through my girls school to sit in a section dedicated to all the school. My youngest child got in some trouble earlier in the day the second I dropped her off for school, so I actually thought of keeping her home and letting my husband and older daughter go.

As we waited for my husband to get home so they could go, I kept hearing in my heart, its a family occasion. My daughter who got in trouble at school had already been punished at school for her behavior and I just was not settled completely what I was deciding. At the last second, I decided that we would all go.

As we go there and made our way to the fantastic seats and began to settle in, my older daughter pretended to be a princess, blew kisses to all and went to throw herself in her seat. Well, much to her surprise she fell back hard. Really hard and smacked her elbow on the arm rest as the seat she though was there had folded up and she slammed into the ground. It hurt. No one from her school had seen what she had done so it saved her little pride moment but she was hurt. We sat for a moment as I checked out her elbow to see what damage had been done and the pain on her face was there. She couldn’t move it and streaked at the thought of moving it.

For the first two innings of the game I comforted her and kept vigil for her and the elbow to see if maybe she had broken something. We couldn’t just jump in the car and go to the hospital to get her checked out as we had taken the train to get to the park. The more the tears flowed the more I became to worry if she had in fact broken something. I got up and walked her to the First Aid station. All we needed was ice.

As we walked through a maze of different directions we go there. Looked through the window and a group of souls opened the door for us. The immediately brought her in and placed her on a medical chair and began asking the questions and checking her out. The nurse and the EMT checked her over and she was given an ice pack to keep any swelling down. They talked to her and had her bend it and move it to see where she had gotten hurt. After a while, then they handed her a Padres hat and a baseball. I was never expecting that.

As I sat there I was flooded with thoughts of our Lord. How much more then will your Heavenly Father give to you? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.

I have worried about so much in my life taking place that I had in the past allowed the worry to replace Life. Even for the benefit of others, as that is the basis for all worry I have had.  Worry does no good. Its the parable of the 10 Virgins that strikes me here. In all that I do for our Lord, I can not give my prayers and works to others to use for their salvation.  God doesn’t have grandchildren. Only you can say yes to the adoption to be His child. I can’t share my holiness with you for your salvation. I can be a model of holiness, but I can not be a fountain. That is reserved for our Lord. You have to become holy using His grace. You have to trim your lamps at all times. Which is done through prayers, receiving the sacraments and obedience to Him. You have to use His grace for your salvation.

When I first noticed and acted upon my conversion of heart, all I was looking for was to go to heaven. When you realize what comes with Heaven, you can only start to understand, all I wanted was an “ice pack”.

My daughter is fine, just a bruise and is playing today, a little more guarded over what she had experienced last night.

Thanks be to God for no broken bones.

Thanks be to God for all His gifts. Thanks be to Jesus Christ our Lord for the gift of Life. Thanks be to the most Holy Spirit for giving gifts of the Father and the Son. All praise and honor and all glory to the most Holy Trinity for You are all we truly need. Amen.

From Catholic Online:

Glory be to the Father,
Who by His almighty power and love created me,
making me in the image and likeness of God.
Glory be to the Son,
Who by His Precious Blood delivered me from hell,
and opened for me the gates of heaven.
Glory be to the Holy Spirit,
Who has sanctified me in the sacrament of Baptism,
and continues to sanctify me
by the graces I receive daily from His bounty.
Glory be to the Three adorable Persons of the Holy Trinity,
now and forever.
Amen.

One point I feel a need to make..

The San Diego Padres beat the “Pits” burg Pyrites

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

The Death of Secularism

images (40)

Its not the Catholic Church that has failed in Ireland with the passing of same sex Marriage. She never can. It is secularism that blinked exposing itself for the terminal cancer it has always been and many souls are suffering because of it. When our Lord was crucified and put to death, the secular world thought that was the end of Him also. False peace, is what same sex Marriage, abortion, and all that contradicts what is Right and Just in our Lord, is.

The secular world has always contradicted our Lord. It does not mean in any way they win or they can change anything. It means our Lord is Right and Just. Stick with Him. Not them. Do not cling to anything but Him. The gates of hell shall not prevail. Pray for those who persecute you. May they who have been swayed by secularism away from the Truth, be converted back to the Sacred Heart of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Your country can not save you. Your family can not save you. Your friends can not save you. Only Christ can save you. Place your Faith, Hope and Love back in Jesus Christ and nothing else. Repent. Not only Ireland, but everyone. Return to your first Love. God never changes. “Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”

There is a good reason for the upcoming Year of Mercy and our Lord Jesus Christ knows what He is doing.

Repent. Our Lord converted my heart when I was far off from Him, when my ideas of life were actually death to my soul. I pray today for the conversion of all who are still far away from Him through the Immaculate Heart of Mary, our Mother, Spouse of the most Holy Spirit, intercede for us and bring us into the fullness of the Sacred Heart of your Son, our Lord. Amen

Cardinal Wojtyla (Pope John Paul II) in an address during the Eucharistic Congress in 1976 for the Bicentennial celebration of the signing of the Declaration of Independence … said:
“We are now standing in the face of the greatest historical confrontation humanity has ever experienced. I do not think that the wide circle of the American Society, or the whole wide circle of the Christian Community realize this fully. We are now facing the final confrontation between the Church and the anti-church, between the gospel and the anti-gospel, between Christ and the antichrist. The confrontation lies within the plans of Divine Providence. It is, therefore, in God’s Plan, and it must be a trial which the Church must take up, and face courageously

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Penitent

keep-calm-and-slay-dragons-1

In the heart of every sinner, there truly is a dragon slayer by the name of Jesus Christ. A dragon is not a myth but a reality in sin. The war being waged within the soul against the powers of this world becomes manifest when the sinner repents, or turns away from self, therefore becoming the penitent and uniting with the Dragon Slayer and not the dragon.

At that moment the soul can identify, submit and surrender completely to the voice and actions of our Lord Jesus Christ. In order to slay this dragon of sinfulness, every gift of the Holy Spirit of our Lord must be used for the purpose it was given, and not for self. Every repentant sinner is called to the Army of Christ, not to slay one another, but rather to slay the dragon of sin that seeks to destroy all souls.

The Penitent becomes what our Lord created, a dragon slayer, and not dragon fodder.

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Practice

pEACE bIBLE

A very strange thing happened the other day. Someone who left the faith told me, “I read the bible many times and it did nothing for me”. Humm, I thought..

Technically, the bible doesn’t do anything for anyone, if it’s not applied. Although Sacred, and most definitely the Word of God, it’s what YOU do with it that matters. You can read “Sacred Scripture” until the end of eternity, but until you actually “practice” what He is saying, it doesn’t do anything. Until it is “Applied” to the “wounds” it’s not going to “heal”. I may make you desire to read more, but “practice” makes “perfect.” When its “applied” the Word becomes Flesh and dwells within you.

Imagine receiving a “prescription” from the “Doctor”, getting it filled (buying a bible), reading the “Directions” and not taking the “Medicine” but simply placing it in the cupboard waiting for results.

A person can study medicine their entire life, but until they actually “practice” medicine, all the reading, all the studying, all the tests and most assuredly all the degrees earned, all the time spent learning, means nothing and becomes dust. When put into “practice”, it blossoms. It becomes “alive”. You live it and grow with it. It becomes your life. You eat, sleep, dream and live “medicine”. You continue to “grow”, to study more while practicing and applying..

Thus, there is no difference “practicing” the faith, you become One with God…

“How do you get to Carnegie Hall?” “Practice”.

Living the faith, is practicing the faith. “Applying” the faith in every aspect of life. Never missing a dose of the “Medicine” from the “Doctor” of your soul..

Leave a comment

Filed under Reflections, Uncategorized

Repent Repent Repent – UPDATE

Jesus_Said_Repent

UPDATE 4/11/2019 at the bottom of this page: Praise, glory and honor to our Lord, Jesus Christ. 

I shared my story with two Catholic Priests recently. I don’t like talking about this but I know there is someone who can be helped by this. No. I am not crazy. No matter how much the world refuses to believe that God is our Creator. I believe a Saint of our Lord said it best: “My job is to inform, not to convince.” Saint Bernadette Soubirous. I see this all day in my life. Jesus Christ is God. He is present in the Eucharist. He has called me to repent and return to Him. I shared this story in the past with for other Catholic Priests over the past 5 years. I don’t know why this is, all I know is where it has lead me to. Back home to the Catholic Church. Repent. Return to your first love.

What I have written with the help of the Holy Spirit. This is etched on my memory and our Lord has made it very difficult for me to forget any of the details. I did add a few details to this as I wanted to make it a little clearer for understanding.

Thank you So much Fathers for just listening and reading this. I don’t expect anything but the glory and honor of my entire conversion and all the events of my life, to be given to God as He knows everything. He allows everything because we have free will to choose to do His will and I full accept, no matter what may come to me.

In 1998, I had an experience that changed my entire life. I have to give you some background as I know it’s important. I have confessed every sin and I know I have been forgiven, as I now go to confession at least every 10 days. I am also in formation with the Third Order of Carmel, and pray every second I am conscious. When the event in 1998 occurred, I was a covered in mortal sins. I had broken every commandment. Every one of them including murder through abortion. I had for many years not been practicing our Catholic Faith and had not gone to confession for over 25 plus years. I still believed in God, but was in a state of despair and had been since a VERY young age. I’m not making excuses for my sinful behavior nor trying to justify it. It’s just something that needs to be revealed as this horrifically sinful person no longer exists because our Lord has truly changed my heart. I am still a sinner a repentant one.

I had fallen in love with a picture of the Sacred Heart of Jesus at about the age of 8 or 9 years old. I was reminded recently by the Holy Spirit, (in the past 5 years) about how at a younger age, I would sit in my parents basement at the earliest age of about 4 or 5 and look through the old cabinet they had of books. My favorite for a long time was a book of nothing but Gregorian Chant from the Liturgy of the Hours. It was very old and all in Latin. I didn’t know what it was or how to read it. I would just sit and stare at the pages and ask God to give me the ability to read it. I used to think of how hard it was to be “big” to have to learn all this stuff. Later on, I found an old handbook from the Legion of Mary. I was about 6 and thought it was something bad, because it was all about Mary and not our Lord. I didn’t understand it and when I asked my mom, she rolled her eyes and told me just leave that alone. I thought it was something really bad against God and thought my family was doing bad things. In my rebellion at the age of 9, I used to go back to it and read it sometimes out loud in spite of what my mom told me. There is so much more to this part, but I have to keep this on track and will go back to this point.
Back to the age of 8 with the picture of the Sacred Heart of our Lord. I would hide in my room and play records for Him and sing to Him as I didn’t have many friends. Things started to happen. I would hear things in my heart and this voice would tell me things that then they would happen in real life. It scared me. I was very young and the voice scared me very much. It would tell me things that my family was going to do and they would happen. At that time, one night, I had a dream that a bunch of clouds came and picked me up. I had no power to do anything but they brought me to the way I would walk on the way to school, about a block away from St. Maria Goretti. It left me terrified as I didn’t know what this was. Today when I pray the Rosary, I am often reminded of this dream while praying the mystery of the Ascension of our Lord. and I had asked my father if it was okay for me to call our Lord my boyfriend and to think of Him in this way. My dad told me it was a sin to do so. (I have LONG ago forgiven my dad for this as I know he truly didn’t understand that our Lord was more than likely calling me to religious life and neither did I) I felt that our Lord hated me at this time, because of what I had done. Especially when things started to happen. It broke my heart but I got rid of the picture and stopped talking to him. I thought I was dammed to hell and stated to think the devil then must be my friend since God hated me for what I had done. I spent some of my early life (pre teen and teen years) casting spells, telling the devil I would sell my soul for _____________ (fill in the blank) and turning to evil thinking it was “cool”. It was anything but. I was miserable. I was angry all the time. I lived for most of my life thinking something was seriously wrong with me. I was depressed and a VERY sick soul. I grew out of this “evil” things stage and continued on into what I thought was life. I had NO self esteem. I hated my life. I thought everyone on earth was better than me because I believed I was “so hated by God.” I was very promiscuous thinking having sex with anyone was love and that they would love me which is sad because at the age of 11, I believed without a doubt that when a man and woman had relations, it meant they were married for life. I asked one of my older sisters about it and she laughed at me. Little to say, I grew up with no true teaching of the Catholic Faith except for having to go to church every Sunday. Confession? After graduating from Catholic grade school, (1981) when I had to go, I never went again until 2001. My mom did take my little brother and me to see Pope John Paul II in Chicago, Grant Park in 1979 and to be honest, it was amazing! I was blessed by him from his Pope Mobile, as he was driving past and it left me in a state of peace I can never describe in words. As soon as I was brought back into contact with my brother & mom that peace quickly left but I had never forgot that day. I also have to mention that my mom’s uncle was a Catholic Priest in Slovakia, who survived the Nazis and then the Communist Occupation. He spent a few days in prison for just being a Catholic Priest but the Communists released him and he continued to celebrate Holy Mass daily, underground. I was awe struck by him for most of my life. He was a role model for me who I loved dearly and I had only met him 3 times and we never spoke the same language. I just heard stories about him and he was kept tight in my heart and still is today. He passed away in 1981. I was never able to express my love for our Lord in my home growing up. I was to afraid because my brothers & sisters made fun of me all the time. So I just stopped talking and became angry and full of hate back at them. When I was about 4 years old, my Great Uncle, the Catholic Priest came in to celebrate my Grandparents Wedding Anniversary. I met him for the first time and ran to him as he was standing next to my Grandfather and told him I wanted to be a princess. I wanted him to take me home to Slovakia to I could learn how to be a princess and live with the Priests and Nuns because they all live in Castles. My grandfather told him what I had said and my Great Uncle told my Parents to please keep an eye on me that there was something very big here. I fell through the cracks anyway. I had such a deep love for God then. I would talk to Him all the time.
Getting the day in May of 98. After living a very worldly life, I had been going through some very rough times. I had lost my dad to Cancer in 96 and my mother had been diagnosed with the same cancer a year before my father’s death and was facing death herself. I had been living with a man who left his wife to be with me, who of course, was abusing me in the same way he had abused her. I forgive him and EVEYONE I have to mention here as it’s not about anything I hold against anyone as I don’t hold anything against anyone, ever since this day in 1998. I forgive everyone including myself. That is not why I am speaking of this and I am in no way seeing ANY amount of sympathy. It’s all related to my conversion back to the Catholic Church and to Our Lord.

In 1998, two years after I lost my dad to cancer, a series of events took place in which I had great remorse for the way I had been living. I had written a letter to the wife of the man I had been living with, apologizing to her for my part in the destruction of their marriage and it was ripping y heart out about thinking about how much I hurt her. The man I was with did NOT like that I had done this. The night my father died, September 23, 1996, I had said to him, although he was unconscious, to put in the good word for me to God that I was going to need some help. As soon as my dad passed, INSTANTLY I said our loud, I need to change my life. And it started the change.

I can’t tell you if what happened to me was a dream, or actually took place in May of 1998. All the events of this day are etched on my soul and I am reminded VIVIDLE every second of this conversation that took place this day. I don’t know “WHO” this was all I know is where it lead me to since this took place and that is back to the Church and to our Lord in such a way I can never live without Him and Her again!

I was at work and my boss called me into his office. He told me he needed to talk to me about something very serious and that someone had been saying very bad things about me. I thought he was going to fire me. I thought I did something wrong and I couldn’t imagine what It would have been. I sat down and he said before he started he wanted to know if I wanted someone in with me to hear about what he had to say. I said yes. Call in David. David worked for my boss Al in a another smaller landscaping company he had. I thought Dave was handsome but we were just co-workers. I just couldn’t think of anyone else to say. He called him in and David didn’t say a word. My boss began to tell me that someone was saying very nasty things about me and saying that I had been doing some very nasty things. I asked him who this was and he said it doesn’t matter I just want to know if this is true what I am hearing about you. I said I want to see who is saying such things and he and David opened his office door and pointed to someone sitting in a chair in his waiting room. I looked at the man as he raised his head to me. My boss asked me if I knew him. I was COMPLETELY chilled in fear. I began to shake in utter terror and my body shook in fear. A gripping fear of total horror and every bone in my body, every part of me rattled. I ran and grabbed David and hid behind him. I couldn’t escape what I had seen. David commanded me at that second, “Don’t be afraid”. The second my ears heard this the terror left me and I was no longer afraid. I stood there grabbing on to him and I wouldn’t let go. I immediately stood up straight and at attention. My boss repeated to me, do you know him? I said NO! I have never seen him before in my life. My boss Al then told David, throw him out of here and get him out of my sight. David left and my boss began to tell me that “Someone” had a bet and I was part of it. He told me he wanted to get in on it and with that I asked if David should be here? He said okay and called him back in. With that, Al, my boss said he would be right back and left me alone with David. David began to ask me questions. The questions he asked me were very personal and he knew the answers before I would give them. All the answers came from my heart. He asked me about my sins. He knew them. All of them since I was old enough to remember. He didn’t care about them. He only cared about the answer I was giving. I knew in my heart, this was not my boss, nor David my co-worker I was with. I didn’t know who they were but I just listened to my heart when answering them. There was this DEEP love I felt for David at this time as I was telling him everything in my soul that he had already knew. I broke down for a moment in the middle of the conversation and resumed again with him. He also said he knew these guys that had a bet. He wanted to be in on this bet also and wanted me to help settle it. I kept asking about this bet but he wouldn’t tell me. He said the winner would be richer than anyone could ever imagine. He wanted to tip the scales and make it easy and wanted me to help him and that he knew this guy who was giving him all the answers. I don’t know how or why, but I brought God into the conversation. I said that would be cheating what he was asking me and that God wouldn’t like that especially if so much money was involved and we had the answers before anyone else did. He smiled and asked me if I liked my life. I said no. I hated it. I was so unhappy. He asked me what would make me happy. I said I just want to go to heaven. I just want to go to heaven. He then asked me what my idea of heaven was. I said I don’t know. He said again, what do you think it would be like in heaven and why do you think it would make you happy. I said I don’t know. God knows. I want what God wants for me. He knows better than I do. We talked more about my idea of heaven which was far from being anything heaven would be today, knowing my faith now. David began to tell me things. He said he had a good friend who wanted his wife back. He said someone got in the way of their relationship and she left him because of a misunderstanding. I said I would do everything to help him if I could. As I had told him about how I had been a part of an adulterous relationship and I had sent a letter of apology to the woman. He told me there was two roads to take to get there. A high road with is very hard and a low road with is easier but not much more easier as it was still very difficult to navigate both of them. I said I would take the high road. He continued asking me questions about everything from my family, their children, the country, the world, priests, religious persons, Saints and so much more. He told me things about what was going to take place. He asked me how I felt about gays, gay marriage, and everything our society is now going through. I answered his question without any idea of what I was saying as I thought this was just a random conversation and I began to say things without even thinking. He said well that does it. You can’t help me. I said but wait! I didn’t answer with my heart. We went over everything again and I answered everything with sincerity. It was like we were talking for HOURS. When He told me about the two roads, the high road was me becoming a religious. The low road was me getting married and having children and I only see that now as I type this. He then told me someone loved me very much. I told him that love was very important because I didn’t know what it was or how to love. He said he knew someone who loved me very much. I asked him who it was. He said someone from my past. I couldn’t imagine who it was. He said it was an old boyfriend I had. He said he wanted me back. I had no clue who he could be talking about. By this time we had talked about so much nothing made any sense and I was in such a state of exhaustion. I asked him if he was the guy and he said NO. But I hope my guy wins. I asked him who his guy was and he said your friend’s son. I said my friend? He said yes. I was your friend David, his son. I said who is his son? What is his name? He looked at me and said one day I would know what he was saying. I understand this now as “Son of David”. He asked me who was in heaven and I said God. He said no, who is in heaven? I said Jesus? He started asking me about the picture I had of this guy when I was young and I sand I had a lot of pictures and I had no clue what he was talking about. He looked at me and said, you truly don’t remember! I said no. I don’t. His mouth opened wide for a bit and he said to me, someone is going to come to you and remind you. He then said to me he will know you as Mary. I became frightened and yelled at him because I thought he was referring to our Holy Mother and wanted me to do something against her. I said you can’t DO that! We already have a Mary in Heaven. No one can be her. No one! I was so angry. I said to him Okay! If all these things you are telling me DON’T happen then what? You still want to get together? He didn’t like that. He said to me this better work or we will all be tossed into the abyss. I asked him then the good one? Or the Bad one. He didn’t remember telling me about the “Good Abyss” . I only know the Good Abyss now as the one St. Faustina spoke about in Divine Mercy. Who I never knew about truly until 2007 or so.

There was much more said between the two of us and even when Al , my boss who had been absent returned. I’m ended this here for now and going to tell you that EVERYTHING David and AL has told me from that day has taken place, for the most part. He knew who I was going to get married to. The names of my children. How people were going to die and when. World events. Presidents elected. Popes elected. The name of EVERY church and the priests I would encounter. He actually called some of them friends of his. We went over the ENTIRE Legion of Mary Handbook together, ADDING: (I didn’t remember this until AFTER I had joined the Legion of Mary in 2011 and I was reminded of the prayers we talked about and how I used to pray in my parents basement) and I had no clue what it was when he was telling me the prayers. He just told me one day I would be reminded. We went through every mystery of the rosary and I couldn’t understand why the Annunciation was called the Annunciation and not the Visitation. He told me about a prayer that would remind me of this day every time I prayed it and it was the Angelus. EVERY time I pray it, I understand EXACTLY what it means and what Mama Mary must have gone through as every second of my life is a constant reminder of this day in may of 1998. ADDED: (As I am sure Mama Mary knew the exact same things that were revealed to her after the fact and held them in her heart) When the conversation was over, Al told me that if I came back to him to ask him about the conversation he was going to deny it ever took place. ADDED: ( I didn’t know if this was a dream or had actually taken place. I did confront my boss at a later day and he had no clue what I was talking about. He didn’t remember any meeting like this) When David was present, Al was gone. When David spoke with me, Al was gone. They were only together for that one instance to ask me if I knew who that horrible soul was. When I had finished with David, and I was back in Al’s office, I sat in a chair and was so tired. He said awe, look at you. Your starving. Your exhausted. You need help. I was so tired. It was as if I had been running and running. I could barely speak anymore. He began to tell me he cared for me. He said to me, You better do all these things you have been asked to do and I said to him why do you care? He said I’m your father I care about you. I became enraged! I jumped out of the chair and said to him, in his face, you are NOT my father. I asked him then are you Ernest my father? Because that is my dad and you know he died and it’s been very hard on me. He said no. I said with just as much anger, are you God? He said no. I said then you’re not my father! He then said to me, I care about you like a father. There is so much more but I’m not sure if it will matter. The outcome is the same.

I don’t know what will happen. I can’t predict the future. All I know is everything that was told to me, is taking place every second and I am reminded every second that our Lord is with us. Every conversation I have has been told to me that it would take place. Everything I write, I was told to and told that I would. The house I live in. The family I have now. All had been told would be. It keeps me in a state of repentance and how I know this is not hell, is that there is great joy and I receive consolations from Abba Father that no one can take away. I have grown to not look for them, but rather understand everything at this point is a consolation from Him and all I want is Him, although His conciliations are wonderful, I want Him. When I pray there is great joy. He allows me to see visions. I seen the face of our Lord in the Eucharist and then myself when I was about 4 years old. . When I am at Mass, when I am in prayer and seeing things manifest that bring me closer to our Lord. Not my interpretation of Him, but Him. In His word. When I was little I fell in love with His picture. With who I wanted Him to be. Today, I have fallen in love with Him through His Word. In the Eucharist and in Who He Is. In His sacraments. All of this taking place after the fact 99.9% of the time of the events. In His Holy Church. In His Priests. In every soul on earth, I can see Him even when He is being denied by the very souls I can see His actions in.

Two weeks after this conversation in June of 1998, everything that they had said to me, started to happen. I thought I was losing my mind in the beginning as when this all started to take place, I tried to tell people who were NOT religious but very worldly and my entire family believed I was crazy. I told them things in a way that at the time I didn’t have the gift of understanding yet. I casted my pearls’ before swine. And the world made sure I was labeled as crazy. With the grace of God, I have overcome it all. I have a love so deep for every soul on earth. Friends, family, enemies, strangers. Makes no difference. I love them. I forgive them for they know not what they do, as I too had no idea of what I was doing. How much pain I had inflicted on our Lord. I have a new outlook and it truly is our Lord.
All glory and honor to God.
PAX
Peg Demetris

All I know now is that I love our Lord above all else. I love my neighbor as myself. I believe, I pray, I hope and I don’t try to worry about the events that I see as I can not change anything. I simply accept our Lord Jesus Christ as my savior and hope to spend eternity with Him. I pray this helps the most frightened souls pull closer to our Lord and His mercy.

QUESTIONS that were asked of me:

PRIEST #1 But Peg, who was the old man?

The old man? If your asking me Father who the old Boyfriend was, I know without a doubt, it truly is the Sacred Heart of our Lord. Although I had fallen in love with His picture, I longed to know about our Lord. At that time in my life, I knew “of Him” being Jesus Christ, but I didn’t know Him being our Lord. Today I do.

EDIT TO ADD: The “Old Man” is Zachariah! This is my “slip” I LOVE our LORD! St. John the Baptist, pray for us!

Priest #2 And who was David?

Father – I still don’t know who “David” was. I still don’t know who “Al” was. It was as if they both were speaking to me in parables. EVERYTHING was symbolic. Everything had a meaning beyond my understanding, but I knew how to respond. I can only assume our Lord was speaking through me to them, when I finally started to speak through my heart. of what they were saying and being in the state I was in, I had no clue what it was all about. I was still living a worldly life and most of what they both had said to me, I see happening around me all the time. Its as if the both of them are at my side, walking me all the way home. At times I sometimes feel like I may have them in my grasp and I am dragging them back home. Al had said something to me at that time about how I was going to be given a watch. I was going to be given blocks and they were his. I was going to be given a drink of water. This “guy” was going to build a house for me. I said I didn’t want anything but to go to heaven. He looked at me deeply and said you better keep these things or at least the watch. The water I know is a reference to The Woman at the Well. The watch? “Keep Watch”. The blocks? Last week at my Formation Meeting with the Third Order of Carmel, I was given paper work on the Structure of the Carmelite Rule. My formation director made copies of everything and placed what she needed to hand out where everyone would be seated. It was random where we sat. She spoke about the block being the Foundation, the four walls, and that was all we should have at that point. As I looked at my paperwork, I had the Foundation Blocks, The four walls and the Roof. I mentioned it to her and she had no idea how I could have gotten it all as she didn’t think she had that copy. She asked me to please share all that I had with them later. Carmelite Spirituality is based on the Rule of St. Albert. I never knew what any of this was back then in 98. When I first started to read the Rule of St. Albert, I was in awe. I had been living this rule for many years already and I didn’t even know what I was doing. The House? Do I even need to go there? 2 Corinthians 5:1 Do I dare say it was him? (EDIT TO ADD: I truly do not know who EITHER of them were 100%.)

Something else he (Al) said was I was he (this Guy) was going to send me to school and I was going to be tested. A bunch of people were going to pray for me that I would pass. I don’t want to assume here but I truly hope instead. This was a reference to St. Peter and the conversation with our Lord about Satan wanting to sift him as wheat. But our Lord prayed for him. One of the last things he said to me was I needed to return to my father. He already knew I was coming and when I get there he was going to put a ring on my finger. “The Prodigal Son”.

I HOPE: I know who “David” is and was! My guardian Angel! “Beware lest ye scandalize any of these little ones, for their angels in heaven see the face of My Father.” Glory to God! (EDIT TO AD: but I do not know)

I may be wrong about both of them and who they were. I don’t know. All I know is where this has lead me to and the daily suffering that I have united to our Lords. One day, I hope to know but I understand it wont matter one bit if I am able to spend eternity with our Lord. This is how my conversion of heat truly began and is ongoing. Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us. Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me a sinner. Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on us all.

I love you.

St. Michael, St. Raphael, and St. Gabriel: PRAY FOR US, Protect us, heal us, In the most HOLY NAME of Jesus Christ I pray. Amen

Psalms, chapter 91

1 You who dwell in the shelter of the Most High,*

who abide in the shade of the Almighty,*

2 Say to the LORD, “My refuge and fortress,

my God in whom I trust.”a

3 He will rescue you from the fowler’s snare,

from the destroying plague,

4 He will shelter you with his pinions,

and under his wings you may take refuge;b

his faithfulness is a protecting shield.

5 You shall not fear the terror of the night

nor the arrow that flies by day,c

6 Nor the pestilence that roams in darkness,

nor the plague that ravages at noon.d

7 Though a thousand fall at your side,

ten thousand at your right hand,

near you it shall not come.

8 You need simply watch;

the punishment of the wicked you will see.e

9 Because you have the LORD for your refuge

and have made the Most High your stronghold,

10 No evil shall befall you,

no affliction come near your tent.f

11* For he commands his angels with regard to you,g

to guard you wherever you go.h

12 With their hands they shall support you,

lest you strike your foot against a stone.i

13 You can tread upon the asp and the viper,

trample the lion and the dragon.j

II

14 Because he clings to me I will deliver him;

because he knows my name I will set him on high.k

15 He will call upon me and I will answer;l

I will be with him in distress;m

I will deliver him and give him honor.

16 With length of days I will satisfy him,

and fill him with my saving power.

EDIT TO ADD: 4/11/2019

As I attended our Parish Mission and Penance Service last night, our Lord revealed this to me.

Our Lord was there, and with me. He revealed it to me, at the moment the Mission Priest was speaking to us about a Team of Landscapers. You have a property, overgrown with weeds, trees not producing fruit, and your house looks like hell broke lose. All of a sudden, a truck pulls up, a bunch of guys jump out and in less than 30 minutes, its transformed into paradise.

It was during this moment I turned to my daughter, as I was overcome with the moment of our Lords Resurrection, and the revelation that St. Mary Magdalene realized she was not speaking to the Gardener, but to our Lord. 

I turned to my daughter, smiled and said \Rabbouni, The second the words left my lips, my eyes widened as they focused on the Altar & The Tabernacle. Everything about that moment 20 plus years ago, became clear.  Peace

 

6 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized