Tag Archives: Conversion Of Heart

Prayers For Conversion

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As one soul who excommunicated herself, unknowingly, and did come to the realization of how horrific my own sins were through our Lords grace, that had placed me outside, I pray for the conversion of all Catholics, who blatantly disregard the teachings of our Lord, to follow their own designs.

Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, through the Immaculate Heart of Mary, to Your most Sacred Heart,  I ask you please, my Lord and my God, send your Spirit to bring souls to the realization of their own sinfulness, for their salvation, and for the salvation of those who follow them, that they may be open to true repentance and turn back to You completely,  You most Merciful and Just Lord of all, that they may give all the praise, glory and honor to Our Father in Heaven, where he lives and reigns with You and the Holy Spirit, one God, for all time and all eternity.
— Amen.

 

Bishop Daly Bars ALL Pro-Abortion Catholic Politicians From Receiving Communion

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Praise To You Lord Jesus Christ

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“If it is by the power of God that I cast out devils, says the Lord, then the kingdom of God has come to you already.”

I am grateful Lord, for the trials, tribulations, sufferings and pain.  Praise, glory and honor to you O Lord Jesus Christ. My Lord and my God. Thank you Lord for Your joy and your peace. May I bring this peace and joy that you have placed in the heart of my heart, to all you place on this path in exile and may they also, return to you O Lord with their entire heart. I love you my Lord and my God and know as I am still in exile, I am incapable of loving You more than you love us. Sacred Heart of Jesus, I place all my hope, love, faith and trust in You and I freely give this entire heart in me, that you keep alive, cleaning, beating,  and nurtured by you Lord,  to you, Jesus Christ my King, through the Immaculate Heart of Mary, our Mother. Amen

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Thank You St. John Paul II

Thank you St. Pope John Paul II, for prayers answered…

As I was waking this morning, I couldn’t shake the thought of him, St. Faustina and the abyss of love that has replaced the abyss of misery that was my life.

Thank you Lord for him, for You and for your Divine Mercy.

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The Temptation Of The Sexual Revolution

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Pondering: Vatican II (inside the church) not being the reason souls left the pews, but the temptation of the ‘sexual revolution” (on the outside), being the “apple” many “fell for” that lead souls astray and out of the pews. Therefore our Lord was already prepared to address the needs of a society of souls far off, and the Father meeting them on the road to welcome them back home.

If souls were “obedient” and in love with our Lord, there wouldn’t have been a mass exodus. It’s as if a fear of something other than of our Lord gripped the souls in the pews rather than “trust” and “obedience” to our Lord, which holds all souls in love.. Just as a temptation that “original sin” is a thing of the past grips souls today and holds them in that same lack of “obedience” to God.

BUT “patience obtains all things” and “all things work for the greater glory of God”.

Just pondering….

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Ecology Of Pope Francis – Update

The Global Warming Of Hearts

Please see the edits to the previous post.

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Peg Pondering Again

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Ecology of Pope Francis.

LISTEN UP! What Pope Francis is saying, is when you place love of God, Abba Father, above ALL ELSE, there would be no need to talk about a clean environment, saving abused animals, ending abortion etc. because it would BE CLEANER, they would be “saved” because placing your love for Him above all else, trickles down and shows in your love for all His creation and creatures. “Right Praise” and “Right Worship” becomes doing what is right and just. Faith and works. Its the love relationship.”“If you love me, you will keep my commandments” <–click there

End of rant. It all starts with YOU! “Who do YOU say that I am?” LIVE IT!

E·col·o·gy
ēˈkäləjē/

the branch of biology that deals with the relations of organisms to one another and to their physical surroundings.

Our Lords way of “Global Warming”

EDIT TO ADD: Pope Francis…

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Planned Parenthood and the Loss of Human Dignity

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Remember when they didn’t care about this Child and you will understand why they don’t care about the one in the womb.

‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

Must watch and listen from Bishop elect Robert Barron

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Beauty Of Reality

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I had a very hard time falling asleep last night as I was pondering the state of the world and what is taking place. Although our hearts can be crushed at times, our love, hope and faith can not. I had posted something to Facebook last night:

We are facing Iran with nukes, US Marines being assassinated by terrorists, children being murdered and body parts harvested for profit, the media practicing Communist censoring tactics, forcing Catholic Nuns to supply birth control because the government no longer considers them to be a “religious group”, All out assault on the Catholic Church by the government, Gender neutrality, destruction of the natural family, homosexual “marriage”, flags being the cause of murdering people and terrorists are not, Kindergartners being taught sex education, Teens able to get an abortion without parental notification but are not Adults, Christians being labeled hate groups…. And the big story is an earthquake MAY wipe out the entire Pacific NW is supposed to worry me? Please. You can’t stop the earthquake. Everything else is the real problem that NEEDS attention and is all self inflected. ASAP. Lord have mercy on us all.

As I lay in bed, unable to sleep and found myself pondering all the things taking place, I began to pray to our Lord. Asking Him why? Asking Him how could so many souls be so lost in “worldliness” and not see true peace in Him? I pondered a post to twitter that i had made in regards to “crickets chirping” from anyone in the state government of California in regards to investigating planned parenthood.

I began to pray the rosary as I lay in bed. My focus was drawn on to the suffering of our Lord amidst the crowds of people who did not believe Him on the road to Calvary. It was horrific to see our Lord spat on and mocked. Ignored and very little compassion shown to Him. What I couldn’t help but see was He also went through the crowds of souls who didn’t care about Him. Didn’t want to hear Him. Had better things to do then repent and believe what He had said and done. I fell asleep and began to dream….

I had the most beautiful dream I have ever had. I was walking in the City of God. I was a princess being courted by our King. Everyone was full of joy. Everyone knew me and was so kind. Kindness radiated for every soul, no matter where I walked. But I didn’t know me. A man approached me and I knew Him to be our Lord without saying a word to me. He offered me everything and I asked Him, “Will you read me this book?”, I don’t know what the book was, and His smile answered. He was dressed for a huge celebration and wanted me to join Him. I kept telling him I needed to get ready. I needed to get dressed. He smiled and I heard in my heart, “Go look”. He knew I was complete, but I couldn’t comprehend what complete entailed. I walked into a small changing room that was full of mirrors. I had thought I was not dressed and ready for this celebration. I had been fumbling around in a purse for lipstick and when I looked up to apply it, nothing was needed. When I looked at myself, I was perfect. He had dressed me in what I had needed. He made me ready for where we needed to go. He provided everything without my even knowing it was already complete, it was done.

I woke up and my eyes fixed on the picture of our Lord in the Eucharist that I have on my dresser. The peace and joy that I had in this dream remained with me when I woke from it. And I still have it this evening. I had this immense ringing in my ears that sounded like crickets as I woke. What came to my heart the second I was aware of the ringing in my ears was Scripture John 8 21:30 with our Lord telling my heart, if they are not listening to Him, don’t listen to the misery they cause for themselves. Offering only Him in their pain. Hear nothing but the chirping crickets. Do not let it drag you into misery yourself. Peace. Faith, hope and love in Christ always.

Today I find myself pondering most of John 8 and knowing in my heart, it is already complete. Souls only need to answer Him, yes or no.

I had a dream I was a princess being courted by our King. When I woke up, it wasn’t a dream but the beauty of reality in living our faith in Him.

Glory, praise and honor to our Lord, Jesus Christ, now and forever. Amen

“Let us understand that God is a Physician and that suffering is a medicine for salvation, not a punishment for damnation.” ~ St. Augustine

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Independence Day From Sinfulness

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Saturday July 4th, I will be dedicating to our Holy Mother Mary and first Saturday. I ask you to join me as we celebrate her, our Catholic Faith and TRUE Independence from our sinfulness. I have my flag out already. I will be bringing my children to Holy Mass after we all receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Just an idea I feel needs to be shared.

“In the end, My Immaculate Heart will triumph.” – Our Lady of Fatima

FREEDOM!

All praise, honor and glory to our Lord, Jesus Christ.

EDIT to add:

Its not a call to abandon hope, nor to hide inside this day, but to celebrate LIFE in Christ. To still enjoy our Lords creation. TO STILL live the life our Lord has given to us and to appreciate Holiness in the Light. Its not that we are NOT still sinners, but rather we know we are and we are TRYING with the grace of God to get back home to our Lord, in TRUE Love. Agape!

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“Praise God, from Whom all blessings flow;
Praise Him, all creatures here below;
Praise Him above, ye heavenly host;
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost!
Amen!”

EDIT:

The original photo has been changed at the top of this post. WITHOUT KNOWING, I was flying my Vatican Flag upside down for many many WEEKS. I didn’t know it. Today, I fixed it. Keep in mind ANY flag flown upside down is a sign of “distress” and NOT disrespect. Pray for this nation and the ENTIRE Church.

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I Will Not Worship The Golden Calf

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REPENT…

All over the MSM you see “Love Wins” in regards to the same sex marriage law being man made legal in 50 US states. Yes. Love most certainly does win but most do not know who He is yet. I pray that many will receive the grace from our Lord for understanding of who He is.

Again SCOTUS chants “We have no king but Caesar”. Just as it was chanted through the pen for Abortion and now for Marriage. Jesus Christ is MY King, not the USA. It was Saint Augustine of Hippo who stated that “An unjust law is no law at all”. Just as an unjust law is no law at all, so to are the men and woman who enforce the unjust law. So to are those who follow the unjust law. I will not. I OPENLY refuse to worship the “Golden Calf” of the nation. Jesus Christ is my King. “But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.” Joshua 24:15

From the USCCB

“Regardless of what a narrow majority of the Supreme Court may declare at this moment in history, the nature of the human person and marriage remains unchanged and unchangeable. Just as Roe v. Wade did not settle the question of abortion over forty years ago, Obergefell v. Hodges does not settle the question of marriage today. Neither decision is rooted in the truth, and as a result, both will eventually fail. Today the Court is wrong again. It is profoundly immoral and unjust for the government to declare that two people of the same sex can constitute a marriage.”

Please continue to read at the link.

Repent. Pray Divine Office 3X daily. Pray the Rosary daily. Pray before every meal. Attend daily Holy Mass (if you can) and if you can not, participate in it through EWTN rebroadcast. Pray without ceasing. Receive the sacraments frequently. “LOVE one another as I have loved you” – Be not afraid. DO not give into disrepair. Give in only to our Lord Jesus Christ. Teach your children to do the same! LIVE the faith. Don’t just talk about it.

The Sacrament of Marriage will never change.

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“Laudato Si” & “Vision Of Heaven”

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Can’t help but ponder…

Pondering “Laudato Si” and Pope Francis on Twitter in the past few hours:

“I invite all to pause to think about the challenges we face regarding care for our common home. ‪#‎LaudatoSi‬. We need a new dialogue about how we are shaping the future of our planet. #LaudatoSi. There is an intimate relationship between the poor and the fragility of the planet. #LaudatoSi. There is a need to seek other ways of understanding the economy and progress. #LaudatoSi. There is a value proper to each creature. The throwaway culture of today calls for a new lifestyle. #LaudatoSi. “To commit a crime against the natural world is a sin against ourselves and a sin against God.” (Patriarch Bartholomew). The climate is a common good, belonging to all and meant for all. Climate change represents one of the principal challenges facing humanity in our day. #LaudatoSi. The earth, our home, is beginning to look more and more like an immense pile of filth.These problems are closely linked to a throwaway culture. One particularly serious problem is the quality of water available to the poor. #LaudatoSi. The human environment and the natural environment deteriorate together. The deterioration of the environment and of society affect the most vulnerable people on the planet. We have to hear both the cry of the earth and the cry of the poor. #LaudatoSi. To blame population growth, and not an extreme consumerism on the part of some, is one way of refusing to face the issues. A true “ecological debt” exists, particularly between the global north and south. Developed countries ought to help pay this debt by limiting their consumption of nonrenewable energy. There is no room for the globalization of indifference. #LaudatoSi. Economic interests easily end up trumping the common good. The alliance between economy and technology ends up sidelining anything unrelated to its immediate interests. Whatever is fragile, like the environment, is defenceless before the interests of a deified market. We need only to take a frank look at the facts to see that our common home is falling into serious disrepair. #LaudatoSi. The present world system is certainly unsustainable from a number of points of view. #LaudatoSi. Each community has the duty to protect the earth and to ensure its fruitfulness for coming generations. “Creation” has a broader meaning than “nature”; it has to do with God’s loving plan. #LaudatoSi. Every creature is the object of the Father’s tenderness, who gives it its place in the world. A fragile world challenges us to devise intelligent ways of directing, developing and limiting our power. At times more zeal is shown in protecting other species than in defending the equal dignity of human beings. We should be particularly indignant at the enormous inequalities in our midst. #LaudatoSi. We continue to tolerate some considering themselves more worthy than others. Earth is essentially a shared inheritance, whose fruits are meant to benefit everyone. #LaudatoSi. For believers, this becomes a question of fidelity to the Creator. Never has humanity had such power over itself, yet nothing ensures that it will be used wisely. Each age tends to have only a meagre awareness of its own limitations. It is possible that we don’t grasp the gravity of the challenges before us. #LaudatoSi. We are learning all too slowly the lessons of environmental deterioration. #LaudatoSi. By itself the market cannot guarantee integral human development and social inclusion. Scientific and technological progress cannot be equated with the progress of humanity and history. There is an urgent need for us to move forward in a bold cultural revolution. #LaudatoSi. Christian thought sees human beings as possessing a particular dignity above other creatures. The culture of relativism drives one person to take advantage of another, to treat others as mere objects. It is contrary to human dignity to cause animals to suffer or die needlessly. #LaudatoSi. We need an integrated approach to combating poverty and protecting nature. For indigenous communities, land is not a commodity, but a gift from God, a sacred space. Having a home has much to do with a sense of personal dignity and the growth of families. #LaudatoSi. The world we have received also belongs to who will follow us. #LaudatoSi. What kind of world do we want to leave to those who come after us, to children who are now growing up? What is at stake is our own dignity. Leaving an inhabitable planet to future generations is, first and foremost, up to us.”

Peg Pondering Again

Most who will read this will either not understand or call me crazy. I forgive you. Some with a greater gift then I, I hope will read more into it then I can. This vision is so etched on my soul in great detail, it is the only thing on my mind. It has consumed me. After seeing this vision last night, and still being in this world, it has managed to separate two worlds completely. The world in which we live and the world in which we hope to live. I can only see this world we are in as dying and know I am still apart of it but the Kingdom of Heaven is my home and where I belong. There is zero doubt, this vision was a gift of our Holy Mother as it came to me while praying the Glorious Mysteries of the Holy Rosary last…

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Age Appropriate

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“And behold, I am with you always, until the end of the age.”

On this beautiful feast of Corpus Christi, we were blessed with my youngest daughter making her First Holy Communion yesterday at Holy Mass. It was bitter sweet for me, as I quickly learned that I would never be preparing any more of my children for this beautiful Sacrament. I thought of years past, when Grandparents, Aunts & Uncles, Cousins and EVERYONE would pile into the Church to witness this beautiful Sacrament. There was always a huge family gathering that followed with great food and cards & a big cake. There were only five of us in our family to celebrate this beautiful day for her. My husband, her older sister and my sister & brother-in-law.her Aunt & Uncle, my sister & brother in law, along with myself.

Taking into account most of my family is out of state and my parents have been gone for close to 15 years, I found myself at odds with how things were and how they are today. I was wrestling with the Parable of the Wedding Feast. So many invited, but everyone has something better to do. My husbands family consists of a sister, her baby and husband and his mother here in California, about 50 miles north, who very recently suffered a death of a teen nephew and could not attend. The rest of his family is in London and other parts of the world. We did what we could to make it a special day.

I couldn’t help but ponder the utmost importance of the family’s role in the celebration and how big a part they are in making the child receiving the Sacrament understand its a BIG deal. When many come to celebrate something you have done, seeds are planted not for you, but for future generations to come. For them to make the Sacrament a BIG deal for their children and not lose the reverence for it and our Lord, by family that just can’t be bothered to participate. Therefore my child will understand that if she is given the gift of children later on, she to will do everything to make the Sacrament a Big Deal. Because it is.

In my struggles with not having many attend, I was presented with a thought that its not just about one day. Its about every day. Its a continuing “Celebration” in all time and eternity and as long as our Lord was present, so were all the Holy Angles & Saints. So were all those family members who could not be there for the party here with us, who are now with our Lord.

I find myself today, embracing the “tiny bunch of grapes” left in my home that are present to celebrate not only my daughters First Holy Communion, but for all Holy Communions in the Celebration of the Holy Mass that is ongoing for all time and eternity.

As we continued today, my husband surprised me and the girls with a trip to Greek Fest here in San Diego. We ate great food and seen children dancing and my children played games in the children area. As we sat with them, my youngest pointed to a sign and an area for very small children and said to me: “Mommy? Why can’t I be under 3 so I can play in that place?”. The Holy Spirit inflamed my heart with an answer. I said to her, you are under 3. God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit. Sometimes we have to move on to different areas because we grow. That doesn’t mean your not under 3.(Father, Son & Holy Spirit) You will always be under 3. As long as you stay under 3. As we grow bigger, and we look back, we forget to look back forward to the things we can do and need to do rather then the things we can’t do anymore. God wants to show you new things as you are growing. She completely understood it! She didn’t throw a fit, she moved on. And so did I.

May the Celebration continue!

Glory to God.

EDIT TO ADD: From June 4th, 2015. Pope Francis on Twitter: “We need to build up society in the light of the Beatitudes, walking towards the Kingdom with the least among us.”

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All We Need

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Last night my family and I attended the San Diego Padres game. We bought tickets through my girls school to sit in a section dedicated to all the school. My youngest child got in some trouble earlier in the day the second I dropped her off for school, so I actually thought of keeping her home and letting my husband and older daughter go.

As we waited for my husband to get home so they could go, I kept hearing in my heart, its a family occasion. My daughter who got in trouble at school had already been punished at school for her behavior and I just was not settled completely what I was deciding. At the last second, I decided that we would all go.

As we go there and made our way to the fantastic seats and began to settle in, my older daughter pretended to be a princess, blew kisses to all and went to throw herself in her seat. Well, much to her surprise she fell back hard. Really hard and smacked her elbow on the arm rest as the seat she though was there had folded up and she slammed into the ground. It hurt. No one from her school had seen what she had done so it saved her little pride moment but she was hurt. We sat for a moment as I checked out her elbow to see what damage had been done and the pain on her face was there. She couldn’t move it and streaked at the thought of moving it.

For the first two innings of the game I comforted her and kept vigil for her and the elbow to see if maybe she had broken something. We couldn’t just jump in the car and go to the hospital to get her checked out as we had taken the train to get to the park. The more the tears flowed the more I became to worry if she had in fact broken something. I got up and walked her to the First Aid station. All we needed was ice.

As we walked through a maze of different directions we go there. Looked through the window and a group of souls opened the door for us. The immediately brought her in and placed her on a medical chair and began asking the questions and checking her out. The nurse and the EMT checked her over and she was given an ice pack to keep any swelling down. They talked to her and had her bend it and move it to see where she had gotten hurt. After a while, then they handed her a Padres hat and a baseball. I was never expecting that.

As I sat there I was flooded with thoughts of our Lord. How much more then will your Heavenly Father give to you? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.

I have worried about so much in my life taking place that I had in the past allowed the worry to replace Life. Even for the benefit of others, as that is the basis for all worry I have had.  Worry does no good. Its the parable of the 10 Virgins that strikes me here. In all that I do for our Lord, I can not give my prayers and works to others to use for their salvation.  God doesn’t have grandchildren. Only you can say yes to the adoption to be His child. I can’t share my holiness with you for your salvation. I can be a model of holiness, but I can not be a fountain. That is reserved for our Lord. You have to become holy using His grace. You have to trim your lamps at all times. Which is done through prayers, receiving the sacraments and obedience to Him. You have to use His grace for your salvation.

When I first noticed and acted upon my conversion of heart, all I was looking for was to go to heaven. When you realize what comes with Heaven, you can only start to understand, all I wanted was an “ice pack”.

My daughter is fine, just a bruise and is playing today, a little more guarded over what she had experienced last night.

Thanks be to God for no broken bones.

Thanks be to God for all His gifts. Thanks be to Jesus Christ our Lord for the gift of Life. Thanks be to the most Holy Spirit for giving gifts of the Father and the Son. All praise and honor and all glory to the most Holy Trinity for You are all we truly need. Amen.

From Catholic Online:

Glory be to the Father,
Who by His almighty power and love created me,
making me in the image and likeness of God.
Glory be to the Son,
Who by His Precious Blood delivered me from hell,
and opened for me the gates of heaven.
Glory be to the Holy Spirit,
Who has sanctified me in the sacrament of Baptism,
and continues to sanctify me
by the graces I receive daily from His bounty.
Glory be to the Three adorable Persons of the Holy Trinity,
now and forever.
Amen.

One point I feel a need to make..

The San Diego Padres beat the “Pits” burg Pyrites

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Pentecost

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Come Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of your faithful and kindle in them the fire of your love. Send forth your Spirit and they shall be created. And You shall renew the face of the earth.

O, God, who by the light of the Holy Spirit, did instruct the hearts of the faithful, grant that by the same Holy Spirit we may be truly wise and ever enjoy His consolations, Through Christ Our Lord, Amen.

Happy Birthday!

May we all unwrap the heavenly gifts of the most gracious Holy Spirit, use them all for the glory of God, be grateful and give thanks to our Lord Jesus Christ, for the gift of Himself, to us.

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The Death of Secularism

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Its not the Catholic Church that has failed in Ireland with the passing of same sex Marriage. She never can. It is secularism that blinked exposing itself for the terminal cancer it has always been and many souls are suffering because of it. When our Lord was crucified and put to death, the secular world thought that was the end of Him also. False peace, is what same sex Marriage, abortion, and all that contradicts what is Right and Just in our Lord, is.

The secular world has always contradicted our Lord. It does not mean in any way they win or they can change anything. It means our Lord is Right and Just. Stick with Him. Not them. Do not cling to anything but Him. The gates of hell shall not prevail. Pray for those who persecute you. May they who have been swayed by secularism away from the Truth, be converted back to the Sacred Heart of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Your country can not save you. Your family can not save you. Your friends can not save you. Only Christ can save you. Place your Faith, Hope and Love back in Jesus Christ and nothing else. Repent. Not only Ireland, but everyone. Return to your first Love. God never changes. “Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”

There is a good reason for the upcoming Year of Mercy and our Lord Jesus Christ knows what He is doing.

Repent. Our Lord converted my heart when I was far off from Him, when my ideas of life were actually death to my soul. I pray today for the conversion of all who are still far away from Him through the Immaculate Heart of Mary, our Mother, Spouse of the most Holy Spirit, intercede for us and bring us into the fullness of the Sacred Heart of your Son, our Lord. Amen

Cardinal Wojtyla (Pope John Paul II) in an address during the Eucharistic Congress in 1976 for the Bicentennial celebration of the signing of the Declaration of Independence … said:
“We are now standing in the face of the greatest historical confrontation humanity has ever experienced. I do not think that the wide circle of the American Society, or the whole wide circle of the Christian Community realize this fully. We are now facing the final confrontation between the Church and the anti-church, between the gospel and the anti-gospel, between Christ and the antichrist. The confrontation lies within the plans of Divine Providence. It is, therefore, in God’s Plan, and it must be a trial which the Church must take up, and face courageously

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Penitent

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In the heart of every sinner, there truly is a dragon slayer by the name of Jesus Christ. A dragon is not a myth but a reality in sin. The war being waged within the soul against the powers of this world becomes manifest when the sinner repents, or turns away from self, therefore becoming the penitent and uniting with the Dragon Slayer and not the dragon.

At that moment the soul can identify, submit and surrender completely to the voice and actions of our Lord Jesus Christ. In order to slay this dragon of sinfulness, every gift of the Holy Spirit of our Lord must be used for the purpose it was given, and not for self. Every repentant sinner is called to the Army of Christ, not to slay one another, but rather to slay the dragon of sin that seeks to destroy all souls.

The Penitent becomes what our Lord created, a dragon slayer, and not dragon fodder.

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Our Lady

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Last night, I attended Exposition of our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament, for the soul purpose of what took place in my life today. Handing myself fully over to Him.

I entered the Chapel of St. John of the Cross, and came face to face with our Lord. I thanked him for all He had done for me and to me through my conversion of heart. I poured myself out to Him and simply asked Him if He would allow me to enter under the Mantle of Our Lady of Mount Carmel. As I finished praying, I felt this tickle under my nose and sneezed. All I could hear in my heart was “God bless you”.

To someone who doesn’t understand His presence completely taking over my life, it’s a meaningless thing that occurred. To me, this so simple action would have been nothing more than a sneeze after prayers, if it hadn’t been told to me a long time before. I knew in my heart, our Lord truly called me with the words, “God bless you”.

Looking back through my enter conversion, not able to comprehend our Lord calling to me in so many ways and thinking I was in “Trouble”, struggling with what so many call “Scrupulosity” as it was, for most of this, I instantly knew how to “Trust Him”. The evil one would never use a soul to repent of ones evilness, nor call them to come and sit in front of the Blessed Sacrament to be near our Lord and empty ones self of all “self”, receive the sacraments, attend daily Mass let alone, enter the Third Order of Our Lady of Mount Carmel. I’m not trying to blow my own horn here, the glory is our Lords. The honor is our Lords. Everything belongs to Him. “Ad maiorem Dei gloriam”. To the greater glory of God.

Today, this morning, I was received under Our Lady’s Mantle. The mantle of Our Lady of Mount Carmel. Many years ago,going back to the point of least “distraction”, as I attended confession for a sin that caused me great pains for many years, my penance was to sit in front of our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament. As I did, I was reduced into a blubbering pool of tears at how I refused to listen to Him in my youth. How I refused to confess that one sin for fear. As I looked up between sobbing, I seen the face of our Lord in the Eucharist. There was no doubt it was Him with His Crown of Thorns very visible to me. There were many others in the room with me and they did not see, was I was “Seeing”. I then seen myself as a child of about 3. I don’t profess to know what this means other than our Lord loves me too.

When our Lord “opens eyes” for the first time, there is utter horror at the fact we have been so sinful and rotting in our sins. But the greater horror is that we have hurt our Lord so painfully. You NEVER seek to hurt Him again. Our “environment of sinfulness” becomes a place we never wish or hope to be. To see ones self in this way causes the soul to pull closer and closer to Him, and away from that world we once lived in, along with a deep repentance of all our sins. Not just the big ones. All sins. You begin to say NO to yourself, and yes to all our Lord commands and all He has said and done. The “appetite” for pleasures changes from flesh, to “Spirit” as the soul realizes the reality that all “pleasure” comes from our Lord. One doesn’t seek vanity, or fortune or fame. As all those things that man can give, and do, never replace or replenish the soul for this desire for all things holy. All things change! God never does. He remains as He is.

He becomes the “Object of all Desire”. You turn from self, and turn to Him as His grace replaces self. The key is to act upon it. It’s easy to see why so many refuse to believe in Him. It’s quite simple. Because they don’t want to. There isn’t a PLACE in His “Kingdom” that any soul can escape Him and His mercy He is offering to all souls. All it takes is denying self, and accepting Him. ALL of Him.

Mama Mary is the shinning example of His Grace. The first question: “How can this be, since I have no relations with a man?” In thinking of this passage in scripture and pondering it, how can anyone of us believe in Him, if we refuse to have a “Relationship” with Him. Unless we say yes, the only relation will be with self. The world shook around her, and His “Kingdom Within” that was brought forth to the world, was the first peek into the “Kingdom” she was told of, through His Grace, by saying yes and acting on it! She remained in “His Kingdom Within” with not only constantly saying yes Lord, but acting on it, even to the day she told Him, “They have no wine”.

Accepting the sorrows as knowing, this to shall pass no matter how great the sorrow may be, she did not remain in the sorrow, nor allow it to take hold of her, as He remained with Her in Spirit, guiding her through it. Therefore she was there to strengthen and guide the Apostles, when that same Spirit came to them, to guide them through and not cling to it but to the Spirit and become one. I have learned that the greatest use for His grace, is humility. Placing ones self last as Mama Mary does. She does not seek to be known, rather she seeks to glorify God. She does not seek self. She seeks simply to do the will of God because she loves Him.

“Do not be afraid” were the words first offered to our Holy Mother as are the words today, to each soul from our Lord who turn to Him.

Thank you Mama, Our Lady of Mount Carmel, for saying yes.

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World’s End

Will with Pen

Before the end, have your will changed, after the end, there is no changing it.

My world ended when my conversion back home to my Lord began way back in 1998. The life I was leading is gone. The “worldly” ambitious dreams I had are gone. The false peace, is gone! The life I wanted is nothing I want now. I can only keep focused on the life after this one, WITH Him. I can only prepare for the day He comes and there is absolutely no strain to do so. It brings me only joy to do it and to ponder it. It is a total pursuit of holiness now because I am now yoked to Him and not to selfish ambition. Its He doing all the work and I am following His lead. It is living because I love Him. It is accepting the suffering through this life, because His suffering is now mine. My will, is that His will be done. It is doing everything for Him, not because He has done everything for me, but because the love is pure and nothing like it has ever come close to me in this world as His love has. He is all I want. He is all I have and with Him, I have everything.

With all the talk about the mayan end of the world, all I can say is: “No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.” Matthew 24:36

This is not to say, He wont be back. He will. The question is not when but rather, are you going to be ready? Are you going to change your will? Will you give Him everything? I do.

psalm5110

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Thanks Mom

Today, June 4th would have been my mom’s 81st birthday. She passed away June 24th, 2002 after a long eight year and tiresome battle with lung cancer. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. -. Job 1:21

My mothers death was a very dramatic turning point in my family. The security of mom & dad was gone. My father had passed away in 1996, also due to lung cancer witch left a serious gaping hole in a family that was very closely knit. From that point on, it was as if that tight knit quickly became unraveled. Each strand going in a different direction to be used in a new garment.

Her cancer diagnosis came a year before my fathers death. From the second I got the news of her illness in 1995, nothing was ever the same again. It became very apparent to me, God is in control, not us. I prayed very hard that day, and every day following, for the first time in a very long time. I asked God to please let it be me instead of her.

As the years passed, my mom was in and out of the hospital many times close to death and so many times pulling out of its grip, I grew closer to her then I have ever at any time in my life. Of course, we only love deeper when we are about to lose someone. Also at this time, I had no clue what God was doing to me. It seemed as if I had one foot nailed to the floor and I was walking in a circle, getting punched in the face every other step I took in that circle. Shattering everything I thought was good and exposing it as not good at all. Everything I had always known, was being taken away. What at the time looked so evil, I only up until a couple of years ago, realized was so great, only God could do these things. God was allowing my backside to be kicked. With good reason. I was being “Sifted like wheat” for the first time. By the time He was done with me, I had nothing left but my faith in Him.

At that time, I lost my job, had to sell my home, couldn’t afford to take care of my daughter so she went to live with a sister. Her father refused to take her in. I ended up moving in with my mom to take care of her the January before her death in June, and due to so many of my own personal problems, I couldn’t take care of her either. My mom, just a few months from death, moved into my sisters home I believe in April after a hospitalization. A sister who is a nurse. I was trying to escape from a horrible emotionally abusive relationship, dealing with my rape trial on the horizon and several other things. Before her hospitalization I had taken my mom at her request, to an “Anointing of the Sick” mass, to which she told me, I needed to be anointed also, as I was suffering so greatly from mental issues on top of everything else. Little did I know at the time, the effects of that anointing, brought dramatic change. I slowly began to let everything that disturbed me, go. My mom was the only one I ever spoke to in great detail about faith, after my dad had passed away. She was the one who told me “Never lose your faith”.

A few weeks before her death, my mother bought me an airline ticket to Vegas. My sister who was living in San Diego was going to be there on business and my mother wanted me to get out of Chicago for a few days to just relax. On her deathbed, she asked my sister from San Diego to take me in to get me away from Chicago and away from everything to start new. At her funeral, my sister asked me to move to San Diego. I had always felt San Diego calling me to move there but never thought it would come to be. I had so many bills to take care of and the deal with my sister was to have them paid off, then I would move in with her. After her death, I took that trip to Vegas. I don’t gamble but I did there. I brought only fifty dollars with me and when I got home, I had close to five thousand. I knew my mom and God were with us. I paid off all my bills immediately, packed up my car with very little and left. I arrived in August of 2002 and I met my husband in April of 2003. God blessed us with our fist child, Violet, named after my mom, born on June 24th, just three years to the day of my mom’s passing. The Lord taketh away and the Lord giveth.

I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. John 14:18

Little did I know that day that I found out I was going to lose my mom, He heard me. He didn’t take me physically yet, as I am still here, but rather answered my prayer with a conversion of heart. I see her in my thoughts I keep in my heart every day. One day, I will see her face to face again.

Thanks Mom. I never lost my faith. Nor will I ever.

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A Slow Walk Through Purgatory

I just broke into tears because I read something that I have been going through since 1998. I have NEVER been able to place it into this paragraph that has capture the essence of it all.

From the article: All Sin Is Disgusting

“If you want a truly Lenten experience, then pray earnestly that the Holy Spirit will reveal to you the damage that your sins have done. And then hold onto your butts, because it’s going to be a horrible ride. Don’t forget to pray for hope and healing at the same time, nothing hurts more than looking your own guilt in the face.”

It is a horrible ride. A very SLOW walk through purgatory. The ONLY THING that has kept my sanity throughout my entire experience is KNOWING it is REAL and so builds my faith and LOVE for Christ and I can only hold onto the mercy of God and pray continually.

Every second I am alive is spent in constant repentance leaving self behind, thinking only of others.

EDIT TO ADD:

It truly is: “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?” A blessing in disguise

At least while I am here, I get reprieve! I can SEE His grace at work. I can see it in the Church! I can see Him in EVERYTHING! When the reprieves come, its a beautiful peace. Its a constant ride that doesn’t end until He says “It is finished”.

From the agony in the Garden: “”My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death,” he said to them. “Stay here and keep watch.” Mark 14:34

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My Tribulation

My tribulation, is knowing our Lord with my entire heart, mind, soul & body. In knowing He is with us and not being able to express Him deeply enough to others. In seeing Him EVERY DAY in every second of my life, and not being able to share this great Joy with the entire world all together. With undeniable proof in my life He is real, and having most of the world tell me, its only in my mind. The greatest sadness and joy is knowing Him, while others do not.

BELIEVE IT! REPENT: ” I want love, not sacrifice; knowledge of God, not holocausts.”

This mornings universals, are ABSOLUTE TRUTH! I heard this for the first time today and undoubtedly know this for fact.

To the sinner, God has said this:
Why do you recite my statutes?
Why do you dare to speak my covenant?
For you hate what I teach you,
and reject what I tell you.
…The moment you saw a thief, you joined him;
you threw in your lot with adulterers.
You spoke evil with your mouth,
and your tongue made plans to deceive.
Solemnly seated, you denounced your own brother;
you poured forth hatred against your own mother’s son.
All this you did, and I was silent;
so you thought that I was just like you.
But I will reprove you –
I will confront you with all you have done.
Understand this, you who forget God;
lest I tear you apart, with no-one there to save you.
Whoever offers up a sacrifice of praise gives me true honour;
whoever follows a sinless path in life will be shown the salvation of God.
Glory be to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit,
as it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be,
world without end.
Amen.
I want love, not sacrifice; knowledge of God, not holocausts.

I believe nothing can happen that will outweigh the supreme advantage of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For Him I have accepted the loss of everything, and I look on everything as so much rubbish if only I can have Christ and be given a place in Him. I am no longer trying for perfection by my own efforts, but I want only the perfection that comes through faith in Christ and is from God and based on faith. All I want is to know Christ and the power of His resurrection and to share His sufferings by reproducing the pattern of His death. That is the way I can hope to take my place in the resurrection of the dead. Not that I have become perfect yet: I have not yet won, but I am still running, trying to capture the prize for which Christ Jesus captured me. I am far from thinking that I have already won. All I can say is that I forget the past and I strain ahead for what is still to come. I am racing for the finish, for the prize to which God calls us upward to receive in Christ Jesus. We who are called “perfect” must all think in this way.
Philippians 3:8-15

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What Is A Conversion Of Heart?

Found a link to the answer to this question, and others that arise during the journey back home…

The Conversion of the Heart to God

Q. What is repentance?
A. Repentance, which is also called penance, is the sincere conversion of the heart from sin to God. To understand this, we must observe, that in sin there are two great evils, which Almighty God himself describes with astonishment in these words, “Be astonished, O ye heavens! at this – for my people have done two evils; they have forsaken me, the fountain of living water, and have digged to themselves cisterns, broken cisterns, that can hold no water,” Jerem. ii. 12. In every mortal sin, there are two enormous evils, to wit, the turning away from God, infinitely good, and the very fountain of goodness and life, and the embracing, in his stead, the monster sin, by the allurement of some deceitful appearance of an imaginary happiness, justly compared to a broken cistern that can hold no water, but only filth. Wherefore repentance, which is the opposite of sin, and the destroyer of sin, must have these two opposite conditions, the turning away from sin with horror, detestation, and sorrow, for having offended so great a God, and the returning back to God, to embrace him by love, and faithfully to obey his holy law.

EDIT TO ADD 2/25/15
The link above is to Catholic Doors and I just found this about them: Website Review: Catholic Doors Ministry

For the answer to the question:
Five Ways to Practice Conversion
FR. ED BROOM, OMV
Be converted, the kingdom of God is at hand.

These are the first world we hear from the lips of Our Blessed Savior as He initiates His Public ministry. Conversion in Greek is Metanoia, meaning change of heart. The core of the teaching of the Precursor of Jesus, St. John the Baptist, was the same, “Be converted because the Kingdom of God is at hand.” Furthermore, St. Peter and the Apostles also preached the call to conversion. Therefore, if the greatest of all prophets, the first Pope, and Jesus Himself preached the urgency of conversion then indeed it must be important!

The Church, the Mystical Body of Christ, reiterates this message in various forms and seasons. At the start of the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, after greeting the people, the priest invites himself and the whole congregation to pause briefly for an examination of conscience. On what? Our communal and personal recognition of sin and humble invocation that God would have mercy on us and help us to undergo metanoia—conversion of life.

Ways that we can undergo a true conversion of life
The following are ways that we can delve deep into our souls and strive for a sincere and deep conversion of life! However, we must always remember that true conversion of life is more God’s work in our souls than our doing! We must collaborate with the grace of the Lord!

1. Memory. Our memory is in need of constant purification. St. Paul exhorts us to put on the mind of Christ; then he says that you have the mind of Christ. Past wounds in our early years, addictions that enslaved, abuses either physical, emotional, social or moral—all of these must be brought to the Lord for a deep healing and conversion. One short but powerful suggestion: THE WORD OF GOD! The Word of God is powerful like a two-edged sword that separates bone from marrow. The daily reading of the Word of God in prayerful meditation can result in the conversion of the mind. One more step: memorize Sacred Scripture! If you like this analogy: what chlorine is and does to a swimming pool (cleansing and purifying) the Word of God can do to the human mind. Lord, may your Word be a light for my path and a torch for my steps!

2. Eyes. Our eyes need constant vigilance and control. Unfortunately, the most powerful addiction in the United States is that of pornography. Children are exposed to this ravenous and merciless wolf at a very tender age. Studies show that pornography can be more powerful than the addiction to drugs. A recovering gang member, drug-addict and alcoholic rejoiced that he was able to conquer all the above vices. However, he could not detach himself from the addiction to pornography. Three suggestions to attain this metanoia/conversion.

At the crack of dawn upon waking, to consecrate one’s whole being— especially the eyes—to the Immaculate Heart of Mary.
Second, when tempted invoke the Precious Blood of Jesus as a shield against the fiery darts of the devil.
Lastly, visit the Blessed Sacrament exposed and contemplate the Eucharistic heart of Jesus. In the words of the Psalmist: “Look to the Lord and be radiant with joy.”
3. Tongue. Our tongue has to be controlled constantly! Saint James reminds us poignantly that we should be slow to speak and quick to listen. Jesus reminds us that every word that issues from our mouth will be subject to judgment. Also the Lord tells us that from the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. Three concrete suggestions to attain conversion of our mouth, a transformation of our speech. First, we should get in the habit of speaking more to God and less to people. Second, we should learn to hold back our impulses and think before we speak. Finally, apply the Golden Rule of Jesus to speech. Do to others what you would have them do to you; say to others what you would like them say to you! Following this advice we are on the highway to converting our tongue!

4. Intentions. Being honest with ourselves we must humble admit that our intentions are often mixed. Even in the best of actions are hidden some self-seeking, self-love and vanity. Sincere examination of conscience will highlight this truth! In the Diary of Saint Faustina, time and time again Jesus manifests His desire that she always have purity of intention, that her actions be done to please Him and for the honor and glory of God. The Bible points out that man sees the appearance but God reads the heart. In the Sermon on the Mount Jesus strictly warns us not to do our actions to be seen and praised by man. Remember! Do your actions such that your right hand does not even know what your left hand is doing. Your father who sees in secret will recompense you.

The motto of St. Ignatius, the founder of the Company of Jesus (the Jesuits) is four letters: A.M.D.G. —Ad Maiorem Dei Gloriam—meaning, for the greater glory of God. That indeed should be the motivating principle that drives all of our actions in life! One concrete suggestion to obtain the conversion/metanoia of our intentions— Give all to Jesus through the hands of Mary. In the classic of St. Louis de Montfort, True Devotion to Mary, St. Louis presents a scene in which a pauper desires to present the King with an apple. The apple is not of the best, nor is the pauper the most worthy of admiration. However there is a secret to access to the heart of the King—the love the King has for his Queen. If the pauper can reach the Queen and give her the apple, then her Highness will take the apple, polish it, place it on a golden platter next to a beautiful flower and present it to the King. Then the King will accept it. Why? Not because of the pauper but because of the powerful and irresistible persuasion of the Queen. If we place our intentions in the Immaculate Heart of Mary then she purifies, embellishes and corrects our distorted motives!

5. Heart. Last but not least we all must go through a daily conversion of the very center of our being— our heart. Jesus says that from the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. The human heart can contain within it the most noble of intentions, but the human heart can also embrace the most despicable of desires! Constant conversion/metanoia of heart is necessary on a daily basis!

What might be the most efficacious means to undergo a true conversion of heart? Simple and to the point: FERVENT AND PASSIONATE DAILY HOLY COMMUNION! In Holy Communion we receive the totality of Jesus: His Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity. Therefore, if we receive His Body, that means we also receive His Sacred Heart. In the most Sacred Heart of Jesus can be found all of the most sublime virtues and to the highest degree of holiness and perfection.

Faith, hope, charity, patience, purity, meekness, obedience, mortification, fortitude— just to mention a few, are some of the virtues present in the Sacred Heart of Jesus. These virtues are present in every Consecrated Host that we can receive in Holy Communion on a daily basis. In a real sense, we can undergo a daily spiritual HEART-TRANSPLANT every time we receive Holy Communion with faith, devotion and love. Beyond a shadow of doubt, Holy Communion received with the proper dispositions is by far the most efficacious channel to arrive at a true conversion of heart. Our Lord’s loving Heart burns and consumes all that is ugly and ignoble in our hearts so that we can truly say with the Apostle Saint Paul: “It is no longer I who live but Christ who lives in me!”

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Washing The Kitchen Floor With The Holy Spirit

My typical Saturday…with only one difference. I got my lazy but off the computer for a break to wash my kitchen floor and had a friendly chat with the Holy Spirit while doing so. It went something like this:

Holy Spirit: Hey Peg?

Me: Yes?

Holy Spirit: Remember back when you were so distraught and didn’t have anyone left to turn to regarding the state of your soul and the mortal sins you were covered in? Remember when your eyes were so swollen from crying, thinking that God would never forgive you and that He must be punishing you, and you thought God hated you?

Me: Yes. I’ll never forget that day. Or the days that followed.

Holy Spirit: Remember when you dropped everything you were doing, got in your car, drove to find any Catholic Church, and parked your car, walked in and sat in the pew, and broke down in tears again, begging God to forgive you?

Me: Yes. I don’t know how I got there or how I brought myself to do that.

Holy Spirit: Remember there was only one other person in that church, that just happened to be open? A church building where the doors were not locked? Remember then after sitting in tears, the Catholic Priest who just happened to be there, who just happened to tap you on the shoulder and ask you if he could help you?

Me: Yes. I was lucky that day!!

Holy Spirit: Luck? HAHA! Remember it being as if the Priest was pulling your teeth, for him to get you to confess your sins? Remember Him asking you if you would like to confess them and you did everything you could not to and told him that God would never forgive you but you confessed your sins anyway?

Me: Yes. For many years after, I struggled with thinking He was very angry with me. I walked out that day thinking, pfft, yeah. My life then was hell. I hated being there but didn’t know how to get out. I wasn’t sure if I could. In the state of hell that is. I didn’t want to leave the church.

Holy Spirit: Do you understand now, it was I who was with you, before you acted on my Love for you and you decided to go? Do you know now that it was I who carried you out of that hell you were living in and continue to keep you from there? Do you know now, that is God’s Grace? Do you know now, it was I who planted the seeds of repentance? I who made it possible for you to find the open church? I who made sure the Priest was there for you? I who was with you when you left and stayed with you? I who am STILL with you? I who Love you? I who made everything so EASILY possible for you to return to me? All you did was listen and followed your heart, where I can always be found. Do you know now how much God loves you? How much God loves ALL his children?

Me: I do now. Thank you Lord!

More like the Holy Spirit washing the floor with me…..

*Self Knowledge

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