Tag Archives: Cross

Confession And Transfiguration


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This morning, I had seen a post on Facebook by a wonderful priest, with a hashtag’s  #Confession  #IGotNervousToo 

I felt compelled to write about my return to the Sacrament of Confession after not having gone for 30 years, with a photo of the Church I had attended, which was Sts. Peter and Paul, Cary IL. I will share the story below:

My first time going to confession after years, I didn’t know I was even going to confession. Something in my heart told me go to the church. SO I did. It had been about 30 years. I walked into an empty Church. No one there but a woman turning off the lights. I began to cry sitting there thinking about how miserable of a life I had been living and would never even be accepted here. I got a tap on the shoulder and it was a Priest. He sat with me for about a good hour. 20 minutes of which we just talked. Then he asked me if I would like to confess my sins. I didn’t even know what I was doing. I said yes. July 1998. It was a rocky road at first, but now? I make sure to go at least every other week. #IGotNervousToo#Confession

Tonight as I was pondering my Carmelite Lectio Divina, I was struck with awe. From the time I had returned, I had always thought that my old Parish, looked very similar to a tent on the inside. I loved that Parish and the Priest who heard my confession. It was a welcome home that I would never forget. I have written a lot in this blog about the struggles and suffering I have faced for the past 20 years, which drew me to leave there and head out on a journey, in which ever day, brought me through many sufferings but into the arms of our Lord, in a way I could never deny.

I had to go back to my post on Facebook to add:

Oh my goodness! I had always thought that this Church looked like a tent! As I pondered my Lectio Divina tonight – “Peter wants to build three tents, because it was the sixth day of the feast of tents. This was a very popular feast of six days that celebrated the gift of the Law of God and the forty years spent in the desert. ” – How I wish I could have stayed in this parish! I loved it so! But our Lord was not finished with me!  Praise be to our LORD 

Back then,  I couldn’t yet, understand the Cross.

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Be Gone


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For longer than I can remember, I have come to accept the evil one has taken control of my dreams. Hear me out. But he can only set the stage. He can not control the content, nor the direction. I only know this because I have not been able to stop dreaming about someone in my past. This person is NEVER in my thoughts, words, desires nor is his name ever on my lips. I could care less about this particular person or where he is or doing. I forgave him and prayed for his conversion. He was someone who I loved very much and was hurt by immensely but I had forgiven him and moved on.

I KNOW the evil one is doing this because of the state of my soul at the time I was with this person. The evil one keeps trying to bring this person back into my thoughts and actions, by trying to make me do things that in my stupidity while with this person I would have done without even thinking, and I find it rather funny because the devil is showing his cards and he lost. I forgave this man for doing what he had done to me. I released him. Its obvious, the devil hasn’t gotten the memo. I had also repented deeply for being that person and our Lord is showing me, who He intended me to be. No more to chase after the things and people that used to hold me back from who He, our Lord, needed me to be. Who He created me to be. I love our Lord.

Every time I dream about this person, it’s always in his home where he can control the situation. Its his turf and I am unwelcome. It’s always the same. The house is falling down and held together by garbage that he treasured over me. He is always very plastic in his actions to me and is always waiting for someone other than me to come over and my being there is just another inconvenience. The only reason I am there ever in my dream is a mystery. Last night was different. He told me, you can stay here with me, I missed you and my response back to him, but I don’t love you that way. I don’t want to be with you.I never want to be with you.

Prayers please, that these dreams stop already. I haven’t lost any sleep over them, because our Lord is protecting me. I do love this person as if I didn’t, I would have never forgiven him nor would I pray for him and his family. But I do not want to dream about him anymore. He is NOT my dream boy and that ship sailed a long time ago.

I know I am battling Satan. I may not ever be able to defeat Satan.. but I, through Christ have defeated my sins and death. That is enough… Game over “It was you who saved us, Lord: we will praise your name without ceasing.”
Glory to God.

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My Cross


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We all have many crosses our Lord has handed to us in this life. Not one is equal to the next nor equal to someone else’s that they must carry. They are similar in appearance but in how we carry them, comes with each of our lives and the things we encounter daily, and how we accept our Lords cross in how we carry them. We can choose to place more weight on them with a standard that our Lord Himself would never place on us, or we can simply look at the cross He carried and accept that no matter how heavy ours may be, His was and is, the only one that matters. It does not mean we place our crosses down, but rather pick them up with hope in Him that He will always be there to help us carry them with much greater ease.

In my daily walk I find myself looking to Mama Mary and the cross she was handed the day she said yes to Abba Father. That simple yes to God’s will brought not only our Lord into all our lives, but the weight of His cross added onto Mama Mary’s life. She became one again not only maternally but spiritually. They become one not only as a mother and child as she carried Him in her womb, but the entire span of His life with her, and all of us, even now. There is no doubt she was told all that would take place in the life of her Son and our Lord. Holding all this in her heart daily, until He came for her at her assumption.

The day my conversion began, started with a yes. In my heart, a yes to Abba Father and no other. With my yes to Abba Father, came a yes to ALL He wills. Good, bad, makes no difference as the outcome is always good for His will to be made manifest into our lives. I would love to sit here and say it’s almost as if” our Lord has had His watchful eye on me every step I have taken, since this all began, but, to say that is bringing doubt into the picture. Rather, I know for a fact, our Lord has had His watchful eye on me every step I have taken, since this all began as everything told to me that day my conversion began, has been taking place daily, after the fact of me being able to see it. Therefore seeing Him at work in my life at every turn, at every step. Knowing without a doubt, He is here. Not knowing exactly what I am to do with this but only to accept it as it came with my yes, to Abba Father.

I place all the same hope that Mama Mary had at the uttering of the word yes, to my end so to spend eternity with my Lord and her with all the holy Angels and Saints of our Lord Jesus Christ. With much less perfection as I am not full of grace, but am only as full as Abba Father has allowed me to be through His merciful Son. Not equating myself to her in any way, but seeing her as the perfect soul to emulate in a world of imperfection.

When we look at our Lord on the crucifix, it’s very difficult to look at our own cross and with a clear heart and mind to utter the words, mine is much greater. It’s actually laughable to even think that somehow my cross could be heavier than theirs. Therefore making my cross a simple paper crucifix that I have been called to carry. The Words of our Lord on that simple cross carry the weight and the Holy Spirit of our Lord keeps it all in check to ensure, the glory is given to Him, for the glory and honor of all I have seen, lived and encountered throughout my entire life, belongs to the most Holy and Divine Trinity.

When we undergo so many trials and suffering in this life, its meant for all of us cast our eyes upon Him on His beautiful cross and to pull closer to Him to listen to His Word. We do not belong here to stay for eternity but only belong with Him in paradise.

Today is the Triumph of the Cross. May we all simply say yes Abba Father, and do all He has asked of us. To love and serve Him in all that we do, every day we are here in exile.

September 14

The Exaltation of the Holy Cross

Feast

“Have this mind among yourselves, which was in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form he humbled himself and became obedient unto death, even death on a cross,” (Phil.2:5-8). [1]

Today we honor the Exaltation of the Holy Cross and Jesus’ triumph upon it. In today’s feast, we are reminded of God’s plan of Salvation and His work to raise up humankind through the saving power of Jesus Christ. In Christ on the Cross, sin is overcome and we are offered a new life, with Christ at the center. According to a traditional account, the relics of the holy cross were discovered by St. Helena, mother of Constantine the Great, in 326 when she was on a pilgrimage in Jerusalem. The relics were captured by Persians but later returned in 628 and now reside at the Church of the Holy Sepulchre. [2][3][4]

Written by Sarah Ciotti
Reviewed by Fr. Hugh Feiss, OSB, STD
[1]Revised Standard Version s.v., “Philippians, The Letter of Saint Paul to the.”
[2] Catholicpedia: The Original Catholic Encyclopedia (1917) for iPhone, iPad, and iPod Touch. s.v. “Archeology of the Cross and Crucifix.”
[3] Benedict XVI, Homily, September 15, 2008.
[4] John Paul II, Homily, September 14, 1988.

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Staurogram


Staurogram

I attended Holy Mass today at St. Joseph Cathedral and had a vision. Upon entering the Cathedral, I walked up to the tabernacle of our Lord and knelt down to pray. I see in front of me a Staurogram. It was not from me and even when I closed my eyes, it was still there. It was everywhere I looked. I looked down on the carpet and it was there also. Very bright light just gleamed on the red carpet in the shape of the Staurogram. As I stood up it disappeared and I took my seat in the pew and waited for Mass to begin. Glory to God!

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Tree Of Life


Adoration was in our day chapel this morning as yesterday was the Feast of The Sacred Heart of Jesus and today, Immaculate Heart of Mary. I was alone with our Lord and my eyes and attention were fixed on the Blessed Sacrament. When my soul took a break away, I tossed my head back and looked up to see our Lord on His cross. What captured my eye for the first time was His “Adam’s Apple”. I immediately was taken to the book of Genesis. “In the beginning” of the garden, Eve tempted Adam with “The forbidden fruit”, here this morning, in the wee small hours, I was gazing upon the “First Fruit of Life” hanging on the “Tree of Life”. The “New Adam” offering life, not temptation. “Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil”. “I tell you the truth, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you” (John 6:53)

His “Adam’s Apple”, nurished from the truth, love, mercy, forgivness and suffering from His Sacred Heart, through his throat, and exiting His sweet lips for the world to hear, “Taste and see that the LORD is good. Oh, the joys of those who take refuge in him”. (Psalm 34:8)

“Return to your First Love”

“Come to Me, all you who are weary and find life burdensome, and I will refresh you.” —Mt 11:28

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Father Corapi


In pondering Father Corapi’s situation and the “Choice” HE is now making, it causes me to ponder my own life and the situations I have been in and put them into perspective of my own life in the faith. Its through our life DES ASTERS, such as the one Father Corapi is and has been going through, that we pull closer to our Lord Jesus Christ and the Catholic Church, and NOT cut ourselves off from it or Our Lord. I’m no stranger to them, through my own bad “Choices” in life but, in the end, now that is, NOTHING can take me away from my Lord or the Church He gave to us. Not even the words and actions of a man like Corapi. James 1:12 (NIV) Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the victor’s crown, the life God has promised to those who love him.”

I beg my readers to read through every one of my posts and SEE the daily struggles I face that have brought me CLOSER to our Lord. My experience in this exile, in regards to Fr. Corapis, is very similar, but his ending is just not the answer.

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:5

When the story first broke, “New Evangelization, Same Old Temptations“,

“we have to take into account that many more scandals will come to light for any other soul on the path to fullness in Christ. It is very easy to be tempted into vainglory when we are faced in today’s world with spreading the message of God. I’m not here to condemn or judge or choose sides in the matter or any that will arise. What I do want to point out is that with the new media, we all have to make sure we do not “Idolize” the presenter of God’s message, but rather KNOW God who allows the soul to bring His message. If we idolize the earthly messenger, we have to understand that we are not giving our full attention to God. Many times we do this every day and when the messenger falls, we to fall with him rather then holding on to God who is the true Messenger, through the work of His Son, to the Holy Spirit which brings the message through the actions of each of us.”

Today, I bring you a message from Father Joe on this situation. Black Sheep Dog or BLACK WOLF? Please read this! I WILL NOT follow the man, Father Corapi, I will follow the word Of Christ Jesus and the Catholic Church He built on the Rock, given to Peter. I will ALWAYS pray for him and those who choose his path, rather then our Lords.

“And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it.” Matthew 16:18

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With A Loud Cry, Jesus Breathed His Last


“At that moment the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. The earth shook and the rocks split.” Matthew 27:51

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