Tag Archives: Fear Of God

Fear Him

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What do homosexuals, masons, communists, socialists, and ______________ (fill in the blank) all have in common, that so many fear may have infiltrated the Catholic Church?

Be it that the Church has been “infiltrated” or not, its been infiltrated by SINNERS since our Lord founded it, 2000 years ago. He is the Head. “Be not afraid”. He has been dealing with US SINNERS before He was Conceived. As He deals with us today and the Church remains. Fear only Him.

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Thank You St. John Paul II

Thank you St. Pope John Paul II, for prayers answered…

As I was waking this morning, I couldn’t shake the thought of him, St. Faustina and the abyss of love that has replaced the abyss of misery that was my life.

Thank you Lord for him, for You and for your Divine Mercy.

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The Temptation Of The Sexual Revolution

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Pondering: Vatican II (inside the church) not being the reason souls left the pews, but the temptation of the ‘sexual revolution” (on the outside), being the “apple” many “fell for” that lead souls astray and out of the pews. Therefore our Lord was already prepared to address the needs of a society of souls far off, and the Father meeting them on the road to welcome them back home.

If souls were “obedient” and in love with our Lord, there wouldn’t have been a mass exodus. It’s as if a fear of something other than of our Lord gripped the souls in the pews rather than “trust” and “obedience” to our Lord, which holds all souls in love.. Just as a temptation that “original sin” is a thing of the past grips souls today and holds them in that same lack of “obedience” to God.

BUT “patience obtains all things” and “all things work for the greater glory of God”.

Just pondering….

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Ecology Of Pope Francis – Update

The Global Warming Of Hearts

Please see the edits to the previous post.

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Peg Pondering Again

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Ecology of Pope Francis.

LISTEN UP! What Pope Francis is saying, is when you place love of God, Abba Father, above ALL ELSE, there would be no need to talk about a clean environment, saving abused animals, ending abortion etc. because it would BE CLEANER, they would be “saved” because placing your love for Him above all else, trickles down and shows in your love for all His creation and creatures. “Right Praise” and “Right Worship” becomes doing what is right and just. Faith and works. Its the love relationship.”“If you love me, you will keep my commandments” <–click there

End of rant. It all starts with YOU! “Who do YOU say that I am?” LIVE IT!

E·col·o·gy
ēˈkäləjē/

the branch of biology that deals with the relations of organisms to one another and to their physical surroundings.

Our Lords way of “Global Warming”

EDIT TO ADD: Pope Francis…

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Planned Parenthood and the Loss of Human Dignity

Jesus-Crucifixion

Remember when they didn’t care about this Child and you will understand why they don’t care about the one in the womb.

‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

Must watch and listen from Bishop elect Robert Barron

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Independence Day From Sinfulness

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Saturday July 4th, I will be dedicating to our Holy Mother Mary and first Saturday. I ask you to join me as we celebrate her, our Catholic Faith and TRUE Independence from our sinfulness. I have my flag out already. I will be bringing my children to Holy Mass after we all receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Just an idea I feel needs to be shared.

“In the end, My Immaculate Heart will triumph.” – Our Lady of Fatima

FREEDOM!

All praise, honor and glory to our Lord, Jesus Christ.

EDIT to add:

Its not a call to abandon hope, nor to hide inside this day, but to celebrate LIFE in Christ. To still enjoy our Lords creation. TO STILL live the life our Lord has given to us and to appreciate Holiness in the Light. Its not that we are NOT still sinners, but rather we know we are and we are TRYING with the grace of God to get back home to our Lord, in TRUE Love. Agape!

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“Praise God, from Whom all blessings flow;
Praise Him, all creatures here below;
Praise Him above, ye heavenly host;
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost!
Amen!”

EDIT:

The original photo has been changed at the top of this post. WITHOUT KNOWING, I was flying my Vatican Flag upside down for many many WEEKS. I didn’t know it. Today, I fixed it. Keep in mind ANY flag flown upside down is a sign of “distress” and NOT disrespect. Pray for this nation and the ENTIRE Church.

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I Will Not Worship The Golden Calf

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REPENT…

All over the MSM you see “Love Wins” in regards to the same sex marriage law being man made legal in 50 US states. Yes. Love most certainly does win but most do not know who He is yet. I pray that many will receive the grace from our Lord for understanding of who He is.

Again SCOTUS chants “We have no king but Caesar”. Just as it was chanted through the pen for Abortion and now for Marriage. Jesus Christ is MY King, not the USA. It was Saint Augustine of Hippo who stated that “An unjust law is no law at all”. Just as an unjust law is no law at all, so to are the men and woman who enforce the unjust law. So to are those who follow the unjust law. I will not. I OPENLY refuse to worship the “Golden Calf” of the nation. Jesus Christ is my King. “But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.” Joshua 24:15

From the USCCB

“Regardless of what a narrow majority of the Supreme Court may declare at this moment in history, the nature of the human person and marriage remains unchanged and unchangeable. Just as Roe v. Wade did not settle the question of abortion over forty years ago, Obergefell v. Hodges does not settle the question of marriage today. Neither decision is rooted in the truth, and as a result, both will eventually fail. Today the Court is wrong again. It is profoundly immoral and unjust for the government to declare that two people of the same sex can constitute a marriage.”

Please continue to read at the link.

Repent. Pray Divine Office 3X daily. Pray the Rosary daily. Pray before every meal. Attend daily Holy Mass (if you can) and if you can not, participate in it through EWTN rebroadcast. Pray without ceasing. Receive the sacraments frequently. “LOVE one another as I have loved you” – Be not afraid. DO not give into disrepair. Give in only to our Lord Jesus Christ. Teach your children to do the same! LIVE the faith. Don’t just talk about it.

The Sacrament of Marriage will never change.

SacramentofMarriage

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“Laudato Si” & “Vision Of Heaven”

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Can’t help but ponder…

Pondering “Laudato Si” and Pope Francis on Twitter in the past few hours:

“I invite all to pause to think about the challenges we face regarding care for our common home. ‪#‎LaudatoSi‬. We need a new dialogue about how we are shaping the future of our planet. #LaudatoSi. There is an intimate relationship between the poor and the fragility of the planet. #LaudatoSi. There is a need to seek other ways of understanding the economy and progress. #LaudatoSi. There is a value proper to each creature. The throwaway culture of today calls for a new lifestyle. #LaudatoSi. “To commit a crime against the natural world is a sin against ourselves and a sin against God.” (Patriarch Bartholomew). The climate is a common good, belonging to all and meant for all. Climate change represents one of the principal challenges facing humanity in our day. #LaudatoSi. The earth, our home, is beginning to look more and more like an immense pile of filth.These problems are closely linked to a throwaway culture. One particularly serious problem is the quality of water available to the poor. #LaudatoSi. The human environment and the natural environment deteriorate together. The deterioration of the environment and of society affect the most vulnerable people on the planet. We have to hear both the cry of the earth and the cry of the poor. #LaudatoSi. To blame population growth, and not an extreme consumerism on the part of some, is one way of refusing to face the issues. A true “ecological debt” exists, particularly between the global north and south. Developed countries ought to help pay this debt by limiting their consumption of nonrenewable energy. There is no room for the globalization of indifference. #LaudatoSi. Economic interests easily end up trumping the common good. The alliance between economy and technology ends up sidelining anything unrelated to its immediate interests. Whatever is fragile, like the environment, is defenceless before the interests of a deified market. We need only to take a frank look at the facts to see that our common home is falling into serious disrepair. #LaudatoSi. The present world system is certainly unsustainable from a number of points of view. #LaudatoSi. Each community has the duty to protect the earth and to ensure its fruitfulness for coming generations. “Creation” has a broader meaning than “nature”; it has to do with God’s loving plan. #LaudatoSi. Every creature is the object of the Father’s tenderness, who gives it its place in the world. A fragile world challenges us to devise intelligent ways of directing, developing and limiting our power. At times more zeal is shown in protecting other species than in defending the equal dignity of human beings. We should be particularly indignant at the enormous inequalities in our midst. #LaudatoSi. We continue to tolerate some considering themselves more worthy than others. Earth is essentially a shared inheritance, whose fruits are meant to benefit everyone. #LaudatoSi. For believers, this becomes a question of fidelity to the Creator. Never has humanity had such power over itself, yet nothing ensures that it will be used wisely. Each age tends to have only a meagre awareness of its own limitations. It is possible that we don’t grasp the gravity of the challenges before us. #LaudatoSi. We are learning all too slowly the lessons of environmental deterioration. #LaudatoSi. By itself the market cannot guarantee integral human development and social inclusion. Scientific and technological progress cannot be equated with the progress of humanity and history. There is an urgent need for us to move forward in a bold cultural revolution. #LaudatoSi. Christian thought sees human beings as possessing a particular dignity above other creatures. The culture of relativism drives one person to take advantage of another, to treat others as mere objects. It is contrary to human dignity to cause animals to suffer or die needlessly. #LaudatoSi. We need an integrated approach to combating poverty and protecting nature. For indigenous communities, land is not a commodity, but a gift from God, a sacred space. Having a home has much to do with a sense of personal dignity and the growth of families. #LaudatoSi. The world we have received also belongs to who will follow us. #LaudatoSi. What kind of world do we want to leave to those who come after us, to children who are now growing up? What is at stake is our own dignity. Leaving an inhabitable planet to future generations is, first and foremost, up to us.”

Peg Pondering Again

Most who will read this will either not understand or call me crazy. I forgive you. Some with a greater gift then I, I hope will read more into it then I can. This vision is so etched on my soul in great detail, it is the only thing on my mind. It has consumed me. After seeing this vision last night, and still being in this world, it has managed to separate two worlds completely. The world in which we live and the world in which we hope to live. I can only see this world we are in as dying and know I am still apart of it but the Kingdom of Heaven is my home and where I belong. There is zero doubt, this vision was a gift of our Holy Mother as it came to me while praying the Glorious Mysteries of the Holy Rosary last…

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Age Appropriate

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“And behold, I am with you always, until the end of the age.”

On this beautiful feast of Corpus Christi, we were blessed with my youngest daughter making her First Holy Communion yesterday at Holy Mass. It was bitter sweet for me, as I quickly learned that I would never be preparing any more of my children for this beautiful Sacrament. I thought of years past, when Grandparents, Aunts & Uncles, Cousins and EVERYONE would pile into the Church to witness this beautiful Sacrament. There was always a huge family gathering that followed with great food and cards & a big cake. There were only five of us in our family to celebrate this beautiful day for her. My husband, her older sister and my sister & brother-in-law.her Aunt & Uncle, my sister & brother in law, along with myself.

Taking into account most of my family is out of state and my parents have been gone for close to 15 years, I found myself at odds with how things were and how they are today. I was wrestling with the Parable of the Wedding Feast. So many invited, but everyone has something better to do. My husbands family consists of a sister, her baby and husband and his mother here in California, about 50 miles north, who very recently suffered a death of a teen nephew and could not attend. The rest of his family is in London and other parts of the world. We did what we could to make it a special day.

I couldn’t help but ponder the utmost importance of the family’s role in the celebration and how big a part they are in making the child receiving the Sacrament understand its a BIG deal. When many come to celebrate something you have done, seeds are planted not for you, but for future generations to come. For them to make the Sacrament a BIG deal for their children and not lose the reverence for it and our Lord, by family that just can’t be bothered to participate. Therefore my child will understand that if she is given the gift of children later on, she to will do everything to make the Sacrament a Big Deal. Because it is.

In my struggles with not having many attend, I was presented with a thought that its not just about one day. Its about every day. Its a continuing “Celebration” in all time and eternity and as long as our Lord was present, so were all the Holy Angles & Saints. So were all those family members who could not be there for the party here with us, who are now with our Lord.

I find myself today, embracing the “tiny bunch of grapes” left in my home that are present to celebrate not only my daughters First Holy Communion, but for all Holy Communions in the Celebration of the Holy Mass that is ongoing for all time and eternity.

As we continued today, my husband surprised me and the girls with a trip to Greek Fest here in San Diego. We ate great food and seen children dancing and my children played games in the children area. As we sat with them, my youngest pointed to a sign and an area for very small children and said to me: “Mommy? Why can’t I be under 3 so I can play in that place?”. The Holy Spirit inflamed my heart with an answer. I said to her, you are under 3. God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit. Sometimes we have to move on to different areas because we grow. That doesn’t mean your not under 3.(Father, Son & Holy Spirit) You will always be under 3. As long as you stay under 3. As we grow bigger, and we look back, we forget to look back forward to the things we can do and need to do rather then the things we can’t do anymore. God wants to show you new things as you are growing. She completely understood it! She didn’t throw a fit, she moved on. And so did I.

May the Celebration continue!

Glory to God.

EDIT TO ADD: From June 4th, 2015. Pope Francis on Twitter: “We need to build up society in the light of the Beatitudes, walking towards the Kingdom with the least among us.”

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All We Need

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Last night my family and I attended the San Diego Padres game. We bought tickets through my girls school to sit in a section dedicated to all the school. My youngest child got in some trouble earlier in the day the second I dropped her off for school, so I actually thought of keeping her home and letting my husband and older daughter go.

As we waited for my husband to get home so they could go, I kept hearing in my heart, its a family occasion. My daughter who got in trouble at school had already been punished at school for her behavior and I just was not settled completely what I was deciding. At the last second, I decided that we would all go.

As we go there and made our way to the fantastic seats and began to settle in, my older daughter pretended to be a princess, blew kisses to all and went to throw herself in her seat. Well, much to her surprise she fell back hard. Really hard and smacked her elbow on the arm rest as the seat she though was there had folded up and she slammed into the ground. It hurt. No one from her school had seen what she had done so it saved her little pride moment but she was hurt. We sat for a moment as I checked out her elbow to see what damage had been done and the pain on her face was there. She couldn’t move it and streaked at the thought of moving it.

For the first two innings of the game I comforted her and kept vigil for her and the elbow to see if maybe she had broken something. We couldn’t just jump in the car and go to the hospital to get her checked out as we had taken the train to get to the park. The more the tears flowed the more I became to worry if she had in fact broken something. I got up and walked her to the First Aid station. All we needed was ice.

As we walked through a maze of different directions we go there. Looked through the window and a group of souls opened the door for us. The immediately brought her in and placed her on a medical chair and began asking the questions and checking her out. The nurse and the EMT checked her over and she was given an ice pack to keep any swelling down. They talked to her and had her bend it and move it to see where she had gotten hurt. After a while, then they handed her a Padres hat and a baseball. I was never expecting that.

As I sat there I was flooded with thoughts of our Lord. How much more then will your Heavenly Father give to you? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.

I have worried about so much in my life taking place that I had in the past allowed the worry to replace Life. Even for the benefit of others, as that is the basis for all worry I have had.  Worry does no good. Its the parable of the 10 Virgins that strikes me here. In all that I do for our Lord, I can not give my prayers and works to others to use for their salvation.  God doesn’t have grandchildren. Only you can say yes to the adoption to be His child. I can’t share my holiness with you for your salvation. I can be a model of holiness, but I can not be a fountain. That is reserved for our Lord. You have to become holy using His grace. You have to trim your lamps at all times. Which is done through prayers, receiving the sacraments and obedience to Him. You have to use His grace for your salvation.

When I first noticed and acted upon my conversion of heart, all I was looking for was to go to heaven. When you realize what comes with Heaven, you can only start to understand, all I wanted was an “ice pack”.

My daughter is fine, just a bruise and is playing today, a little more guarded over what she had experienced last night.

Thanks be to God for no broken bones.

Thanks be to God for all His gifts. Thanks be to Jesus Christ our Lord for the gift of Life. Thanks be to the most Holy Spirit for giving gifts of the Father and the Son. All praise and honor and all glory to the most Holy Trinity for You are all we truly need. Amen.

From Catholic Online:

Glory be to the Father,
Who by His almighty power and love created me,
making me in the image and likeness of God.
Glory be to the Son,
Who by His Precious Blood delivered me from hell,
and opened for me the gates of heaven.
Glory be to the Holy Spirit,
Who has sanctified me in the sacrament of Baptism,
and continues to sanctify me
by the graces I receive daily from His bounty.
Glory be to the Three adorable Persons of the Holy Trinity,
now and forever.
Amen.

One point I feel a need to make..

The San Diego Padres beat the “Pits” burg Pyrites

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Pentecost

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Come Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of your faithful and kindle in them the fire of your love. Send forth your Spirit and they shall be created. And You shall renew the face of the earth.

O, God, who by the light of the Holy Spirit, did instruct the hearts of the faithful, grant that by the same Holy Spirit we may be truly wise and ever enjoy His consolations, Through Christ Our Lord, Amen.

Happy Birthday!

May we all unwrap the heavenly gifts of the most gracious Holy Spirit, use them all for the glory of God, be grateful and give thanks to our Lord Jesus Christ, for the gift of Himself, to us.

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Stewardship Not Idolatry

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Pondering…

“Then God said: Let us make human beings in our image, after our likeness. Let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, the birds of the air, the tame animals, all the wild animals, and all the creatures that crawl on the earth. God created mankind in his image;
in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them” God blessed them and God said to them: Be fertile and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it.Have dominion over the fish of the sea, the birds of the air, and all the living things that crawl on the earth.”

Jesus came to save humans, not animals. Man was created in the IMAGE of God. Thereby establishing that man has a soul and that soul is an eternal being as the Holy Trinity is eternal. By saving man from his sins, man would in fact be “stewards” once more in Love to all creation through placing love for God above all else. If man who has been given dominion over all creatures deducts that he is no better than animals without souls, he will live like an animal as he equates himself to a dog, ape or cat or any other creature, which do not possess intellect, he is excusing himself from the RESPONSIBILITY of being steward to all creation. Man is excluding himself from the responsibility to nurture and be held responsible for his actions which does NOT mean justification for his actions and lack there of and taking on the lesser form of creation. Therefore, not caring for the sick, the young, the unborn but equating Human Life to that of survival of the fittest through selfish ambition and seeing abortion and euthanasia for humans as a necessity as any pet kept, rather than as dreadfully sinful. He is in fact stating, “Am I my brother’s keeper?”, asserting no love for anything other than self. He proves that his love for animals or any created thing is out of selfishness, or disordered love, and is much greater than that for his own brothers and sisters and even himself. Its worshiping creation over that of the Creator which in fact is idolatry.

From USCCB:

Obstacles to Stewardship
People who want to live as Christian disciples and Christian stewards face serious obstacles. In the United States and other nations, a dominant secular culture often contradicts religious convictions about the meaning of life. This culture frequently encourages us to focus on ourselves and our pleasures.

At times, we can find it far too easy to ignore spiritual realities and to deny religion a role in shaping human and social values. As Catholics who have entered into the mainstream of American society and experienced its advantages, many of us also have been adversely influenced by this secular culture. We know what it is to struggle against selfishness and greed, and we realize that it is harder for many today to accept the challenge of being a Christian steward. It is essential, therefore, that we make a special effort to understand the true meaning of stewardship and live accordingly.

Our Lord Jesus Christ came to us as we are, human. He did not come to us as a goldfish nor a cat or dog.

If you seek to save ________________ (fill in the blank) you have to save souls first.

Philippians 2 1:11

Plea for Unity and Humility.
1
If there is any encouragement in Christ, any solace in love, any participation in the Spirit, any compassion and mercy,
2
complete my joy by being of the same mind, with the same love, united in heart, thinking one thing.
3
Do nothing out of selfishness or out of vainglory; rather, humbly regard others as more important than yourselves,
4
each looking out not for his own interests, but [also] everyone for those of others.
5
Have among yourselves the same attitude that is also yours in Christ Jesus,
6
Who, though he was in the form of God,
did not regard equality with God something to be grasped.
7
Rather, he emptied himself,
taking the form of a slave,
coming in human likeness;
and found human in appearance,
8
he humbled himself,
becoming obedient to death, even death on a cross.
9
Because of this, God greatly exalted him
and bestowed on him the name
that is above every name,
10
that at the name of Jesus
every knee should bend,
of those in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
11
and every tongue confess that
Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.

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Penitent

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In the heart of every sinner, there truly is a dragon slayer by the name of Jesus Christ. A dragon is not a myth but a reality in sin. The war being waged within the soul against the powers of this world becomes manifest when the sinner repents, or turns away from self, therefore becoming the penitent and uniting with the Dragon Slayer and not the dragon.

At that moment the soul can identify, submit and surrender completely to the voice and actions of our Lord Jesus Christ. In order to slay this dragon of sinfulness, every gift of the Holy Spirit of our Lord must be used for the purpose it was given, and not for self. Every repentant sinner is called to the Army of Christ, not to slay one another, but rather to slay the dragon of sin that seeks to destroy all souls.

The Penitent becomes what our Lord created, a dragon slayer, and not dragon fodder.

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St Thomas Aquinas

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All that I have written seems like straw compared to what has now been revealed to me. – Saint Thomas Aquinas

Saint Thomas Aquinas never finished his writings. I can relate. If all he has written O Lord is straw, then what I have done is mud. May they mingle and become bricks for You’re great glory O Lord.

For everything we can ever know about God, regarding all the inner workings of His way, the simplest and easiest is through Love. Love is simplicity. If we complicate all that is true with what we feel we need to know then we are taking away room for love. To simply love, is to understand the Divinity.

Does a wife love her Spouse any more upon learning what His business is or how He runs His business? Or does a loving wife just continue to love her Spouse? Our Lord shares everything with His wife. All she has to do is ask. But it should never come between or hinder in any way, the love she has for Him. She knows He is in control and all He does is for the good of all.

To read more about this wonderful Saint, see here

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Fear Of God

Fear

Abba Father, I Am Who Am. When my soul is in His presence, I am confident and content in His love. My soul is relaxed and all I can do is love Him back. There is no time to tell Him of the things in which bother me, or things in this world that trouble me. My soul is completely at ease and all I can do is cry with joy at His forgiveness and love for me and the entire world. Once the soul understand this, it never seeks anything but God.

This past Sunday, I was blessed with this contentment that only comes from Him, just after praying the Rosary. When my soul is in this state, I can not remember anything bitter in the world but only the love of neighbor and love of Him. There is a distinct difference in my soul between being in the presence of Abba Father, The Son, whom I know as the Bridegroom and the Holy Spirit. Abba Father IS Papa. I have talked about this before, but can not stress enough the difference. When my soul is with Him, it knows it. There is no pain. There is no fear. There is only contentment.

When my soul is with the Bridegroom, it is like this morning. I know it is Him through the intimacy that my soul shares with Him. I am unsure how to love Him at times, but offer everything anyway, knowing full well, He will take what He wants. My soul burns with desire to do everything for Him. It’s a state of undying love waiting to be reassured that no matter what I do, He loves me anyway. A state of never wanting to hurt Him, but yet, sharing in His hurt and begging for forgiveness for even the least thought of sin that may have been committed, and working fervently without exhaustion to ensure that I never hurt Him again.

When my soul is in the presence of the Holy Spirit, it knows it without a doubt. He is ferocious . He is the Warrior. He mends my ways without care. I sit in deep repentance begging to be forgiven as He has my soul in His hands. The tears of regret that I have strayed from our Lord do not stop, until He says they can. I tremble in fear. There is no other fear in the world that can describe Him. Truth no matter how painful, is the only way in dealing with Him. He will never settle for anything less. This Truth causes the emptying of everything in the soul. Good and bad. It’s as if He comes to collect what He has asked for. Sometimes He stays for a few days, and it causes the soul to repent in such a way that others can not understand. Other times, He just comes for a second, to remind the soul, He will be returning. In all cases, you never forget what He seeks nor He was there. The soul then only wants Truth to ensure when He returns, He will be satisfied. He teaches you what Fear of God is. Not to be afraid of God, but to be afraid of separating ones self from God.

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Signs

“So they said, ‘What sign will you yourself do, the sight of which will make us believe in you? What work will you do?”

I ponder this a LOT! I believe in my case, most of the signs I am shown that God is in my life, be it subtle or blatant, usually tend to draw me close to Him. Its been that way since an incident in 1998 that I will not post as of yet. Granted, they didn’t pull me closer to Him at first, but rather sent me on a path of destruction. Destruction of the “Self” that did not belong in His plan for me.

In the beginning of my spiritual conversion back to the Catholic Church, I would see these “Signs” and most of the time be so frightened by them, I would end up running in circles like a chicken with its head chopped off, or in the other direction away from God. I was starving and I didn’t even know it. So lost I didn’t know where to turn. Think of it in the terms of Manna From Heaven and the meaning being What is it? Then setting out on the quest, to find out just “What It Is”.

I called myself a Catholic, after all I was baptized Catholic, received First Holy Communion and Reconciliation and finally Confirmation. I somehow thought that sealed my fate. Until I started receiving the sacraments and using them, being IN communion to receive Communion, praying daily and LEARNING the Catholic Faith I was supposed to be a participating member of.

Today, when I see the signs of our Lord in my life, and they are blatant, I am no longer afraid. I understand them to be a grace and not a punishment. I understand them to be a thank you gift, in advance, from our Lord for being on the correct path, and not only listening to Him, but heeding His advise in where I need to be heading in my Life in Him. Now that I understand and can discern the food from our LORD and that which does not come from Him, I am sustained through Him and there is no replacement for that.

“Jesus answered them: I am the bread of life. No one who comes to me will ever hunger; no one who believes in me will ever thirst.”

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Mother’s Day


When I was very young, about the age of 3 or 4, I remember my mother had this holy card. I used to ask her all the time if it was her because the resemblance is stunning of my mother.

My mother Violet, passed away on June 24, 2002. I became an orphan. My father had passed away in 1996 and it was the end of my family as I knew it. It wasn’t until recently, that I came to understand that our Holy Mother Mary has taken my hand and has become my mother now. Funny really, because she has always been there but I never knew it. It is through her guidance, that I can understand the meaning of motherhood. Motherhood is sacrifice of self for the love of others. Through the greatest gift of LIFE from God.

Happy Mothers Day.

I miss you mom 🙂 Thank you for everything! I love you!


My Mom on her 60’s birthday.

My mom when I was 3 years old…

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Believe

“Yes, God loved the world so much that he gave his only Son,
so that everyone who believes in him may not be lost
but may have eternal life.”

To BELIEVE is to REPENT!

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All The King’s Horses

Nothing causes more fear and trembling to non believers then the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. So many times have they been blown out of proportion by Hollywood and writers that there is more human curiosity to them, rather then to Our King, Jesus Christ, who commands them. I to was one of those. In my youth I used to think how cool it was to be able to bring death and destruction to the world. How cool it would be to hold the world in pestilence and wows and all those who causes me harm or called me names. Not taking into account, that death and destruction in this world, has no limit. Imagine the same death and destruction caused to our enemies, will be issued to our family’s, friends, children, and every soul we love, whom we wish harm to. Then imagine being the footstool for all of them, for eternity. I in some strange way, wish every human being could go on a “Ride Along” with them to see how much pain it causes the soul to see such things. Just a simple note to make sure we all understand who’s death we are cheering about in regards to who our “Enemies” are in this time of man’s war. Yes, I am speaking of Osama Bin Laden. Every human being has a soul that was created by God. Treat them as such and pray for mercy, not justice. Yes they danced in the streets on 9/11, but that does not mean we have been given ANY right to also, least we become our enemy.

“But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you”

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Extra Candle Stands

I have been pondering if I should post this or not and it has taken me some time to do so, but here goes.

Saturday morning, I woke up very early for adoration. My normal hour is from 6 to 7 AM. This week I had gotten there by 5:30 AM. It was a normal morning and Eleanor, a woman who is there that hour was surprised to see me so early, but quite happy about my decision to come early. I walked in and bowed down before doing anything, giving our LORD all my attention. Then I signed the book and walked over to where our LORD was. I noticed two new candle stands. Four total, two directly on either side of the tabernacle, and two new stands, very much lit, next to them but covering the back of the tabernacle. The only reason I noticed it, and it kept my attention was because when I sat “Watching His Back”, I actually squeezed between the candle stands to kiss the tabernacle. I was afraid I might knock them over because there were flowers there also. After some time, I moved back to the front of the tabernacle and prayed a bit longer.

As I sat there, a huge moth flew in the window and landed inside one of the lights and he became stuck in it. When I say huge, I thought it might have been a humming bird. It was to high up for me to reach him to get him out and Eleanor even commented about how I was the one who brought him in with me. I quickly reminded her it came in the window. I walked back again to the back of the tabernacle and sat there for a few moments soon realizing, the new candle stands with the lit candles that I squeezed between, were no longer there. But there was a holy candle in a glass sleeve sitting by the door. I have been pondering this ever since.

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My Husbands Stripes

I don’t remember where I was but traveling the road with Mark, my husband. He wanted to get a new window cling at the exchange because, his words, he worked so hard for his stripes. Granted, he served 23.5 years in the US Marines. He did work hard for them.

I immediately thought of my true spouse, Our Lord Jesus Christ. The “Bridegroom”. How He had earned His “stripes” through a scourging. It just didn’t equal and never can.

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Feed My Ducks

After Mass this morning, I took Sister Soledad to Home Depot and then to Rite Aid. My husband took our girls to the Padres game and gave me the day to think. I took a ride to an old fishing hole. It used to be a water reclamation area now turned into a recreation park, with 7 lakes. I packed my Shakespeare rod, purchased some worms and took my packed lunch. Turkey & cheese on pita bread. I walked to a picnic bench and sat down next to the water. There was a mommy duck with 9 brand new baby’s. Something told me to buy duck food while I was at the bait shop and I did. The mommy & baby’s were fed well with the cracked corn.

I prayed to our LORD Jesus Christ deeply.

I sat for a moment watching the beauty of God’s creation, eating my lunch and praying. As I looked around I noticed the park I had known for some time, had changed. The islands in the middle of the lake that used to be tropical were cut down. The palms were replaced with new trees. Almost sanitized and dry. On the bank of one of the islands, was a turtle that seems to be waving his flipper.

I prayed more intently and a flock of ducks came out of the water. Quacking up a storm. I heard that voice in my heart say, feed my ducks. I shared my lunch with some of them, then took a little walk. I walked to the bank and I took the worms I had purchased and tossed them into the water. Just before I did, I seen a big fish. I never tossed a line in, just the worms. Then I walked back to my car, packed it up and went to see our LORD in adoration.

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Quiet Children

“The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom; all who follow his precepts have good understanding. To him belongs eternal praise.” Psalm 111:10

On October 8, 2010, I attended the most beautiful Mass I had seen, in quite some time. It was 9:00 AM on a Friday and it happened to be the children Mass at my daughters school. As I entered there were children practicing their singing at the altar. They listened intently to their teacher. Sitting in the pews, were very patient little ones who did not make a peep. You could hear a pin drop. It wasn’t social time, it was time to pray.

The only sound before Mass, after the children finished singing, was the running water in the Baptismal font. There was reverence for our LORD. Not one prayer kneeler was dropped, not a cough was heard, nor a sneeze. It was the perfect Mass and the pews were filled with children. The Awe for our LORD was stunning.

The contrast
I attended Mass yesterday morning at 6 AM. The problem is, Mass did not begin until 6:30. I had a half an hour to pray before breakfast with my LORD. No problem there! I live for the time I get to spend with Him. As I sat in the pew and started taking in my surroundings, trying to focus on what my LORD needed me to focus on, I was abruptly interrupted by constant chatter, then out of no where, two women began praying the rosary out loud at the top of their lungs. I don’t have a problem at all with praying the Rosary. I do however, believe our LORD comes first. Time spent in quiet prayer and contemplation of what we need to present to our Lord before Mass is essential. It “Cleanses the palate” before the feast! Also, a quite conversation before the day begins with the “Spouse”, sets the tone for the rest of the day.

As I sat trying to focus on our LORD, the prayer kneelers began to fall hard. Several women began to speak loudly to people just getting to Mass, what song would be sung. You could hear the aggravation in their voices and unhappiness to the announcement of the song. As to the one who made the announcement of the song to be sung, it was HER choice! And no one was going to change her mind! Obviously, some didn’t like the pick. It was continual disruption, for the half hour I had with Him.

Just before Mass begun, Father came out to inspect the altar. He was not happy. Someone blew out the Easter candle and it was unlit. Father informed all in attendance why he was not happy after mass, in regards to the candle. It is EASTER WEEK. How soon some forget.

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Do Not Be Afraid

“Then Jesus said to them, ‘Do not be afraid; go and tell my brothers that they must leave for Galilee; they will see me there.”

Ever ponder what it must have been like to SEE our LORD risen with the women and the apostles? Notice how it always takes them a few moments to pick up on “Who” they are seeing? The TRUE followers, the LOVES know their LORD. He opens their eyes to see Him because the EYES are the gateway to the SOUL. They know Him and He knows them. You can see it in the eyes. This is how I am able to “See” Him today. Its possessing a sense unlike any other. But it is not just a sensation that they can see Him. He is truly there.

“I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me” John 10:14

EDIT TO ADD:

I just returned from this BEAUTIFUL Easter Monday Mass. A better way to put what I had stated above is in this way:

Every time our LORD fell on the road to Calvary, He fell in LOVE.

The way His “Sheep” know Him is like taking a page from “The Princess and the Pea”. She could not sleep, because something as small as a pea, distracted her. She didn’t know what it was, but knew it was there to keep her awake.

Thank you LORD Jesus Christ, for all the “flowers”

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No Soul Left Behind

Since I could not attend adoration yesterday morning, I found myself in the prayer labyrinth. Before I started my prayer walk, I went over to the grotto where our statue of Bernette is with Our Lady of Lourdes. I prayed to her and told her I had fallen madly in love with her Son. We ended up having a very long conversation. I smiled and walked to where the start of the labyrinth was and on my way, I found blessed palms laying on the ground. They were intertwined with one another and someone spent time to do so. I picked them up as I could never leave them just laying on the ground. They were with me my entire journey. As I got to the center of the labyrinth, I knelt down and began to pray. As I did, I noticed another blessed palm, tucked into one of the lamps, out of normal sight. I left it there and finished my prayers.

While attending the Mass of the Lords Supper, I remembered the blessed palm that needed help. I was filled with an overwhelming desire to not leave that palm behind in the elements. It had been blessed and did not belong anywhere but in a place of honor.

After mass & a brief adoration, I walked outside and it was quite dark. There were many people around as mass had just concluded. Some watched as I walked to the center of the labyrinth which was unlit. I knelt down and felt around under the lamp in which I had seen the palm. I could not see but managed to take hold of it and was so happy I had found it. I couldn’t help but look up to the sky and smile as I said, “Like a thief in the night”. No one knew what I was doing and how important it was for me not to leave that palm behind. Like the Chrism used at baptism, that leaves the mark of the LORD on each soul indefinitely, identifying us as His, was the way I seen this palm. It had become lost and belonged to our Lord. That drive I had in me to get it, is the same drive our Lord has to go get His souls when they become lost. Or, “No soul left behind”.

Mark 13:2 “And Jesus answering said unto him, Seest thou these great buildings? there shall not be left one stone upon another, that shall not be thrown down.”

“turn your ear to me, make haste. Be for me a rock-fastness, a fortified citadel to save me.”

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A Fishing Lure

Who ever said He only calls me at midnight wasn’t kidding. Usually He lets me sleep until way after Two AM. In this case, He is “The Friend At Midnight

As I was woken up, I was compelled to write this. Mind you it is still just 1:30 AM.

A day or so ago, while in deep prayer, I heard that little voice inside ask, What kind of instrument would you be? It was reverting back to a LONG time ago, before I knew what that was. And to be honest, I had to chuckle a bit, because back in the day before my conversion began, the answer I would have given and have, would be make me a drum.

As I look back through the pages to where I am now, that little voice waking me this morning put the pieces together and the Fisherman’s lure seems to be the answer.

“Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will make you fishers of men.” Matthew 4:19

He created this lure. Hammering it until its just right. Bending it into place. He placed His treble hook in her and tied His line to her. He cast her to the furthest reaches of the abyss. She drifted where every type of sin took a bite from her and the waters were filth of mortal sin. After time, He reeled her back in, slowly. Bring her back to be cleaned off, then placed back into the tackle box. Its not the lures job to know the amount of fish caught, for only the Fisherman knows that.

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Love God First

“He answered: Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and,’Love your neighbor as yourself.'” Luke 10:27

How do you LOVE what you can not see? Easy. You can see Him. God takes the ordinary things of this world and makes them holy. He works through material things to show Himself to the world and to bring people back to Himself. Not only that, “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.” Genesis 1:27

So how do we love God first? First I have to suggest, get to know Him. Find out who He Is! He is not your buddy. Hes not a Republican, Democrat, Liberal, Conservative, Home Boy, Community Organizer etc. He is God, “I am who am”! Second, we reject, or place our wants last. We place His “Wants” first. Therefor our “Needs” become clearer. Does God want us to do what makes us happy? Or does God want us to do what makes Him happy? He wants us to do what makes Him happy first and by doing so, we become happy by living in freedom from sin. There is no greater happiness or peace! We become obedient to Him and not to self. We in time, walk away from the sins that blinded us into “Thinking” we were in the right for committing them or “Justifying” our sins for our own benefit. Sins then appear before they can be committed and thus the trap can not catch us and we learn to avoid them.

As for loving our neighbor? In Everything you do, do it for God. When you hug your children, act as if you are hugging God. When you speak to others, act as if you are speaking to God. When you are cooking a meal, act as if you are cooking for God. When you are driving to work, act as if every person driving along side of you is God. And when they “Get on your nerves”? KNOW this to be a test from God. Treat them with love and kindness ANYWAY. LOVE them anyway! Toss away the temptation to treat them, ALL of them in any unkind way.

““The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’” Matthew 25:40

Don’t worship them! Worship God and the rest will fall into place. Know they are sinners just as we all are, but they have a soul created by God, in His image.

By doing this, it will build up strength to apply MORE to the love you have for God. Or, build the love you have for him. Just like exercise for the body takes time for results, so do spiritual exorcises and once you stop, it all goes back to where you were before. It builds the souls Fortitude: mental and emotional strength in facing difficulty, adversity, danger, or temptation courageously. Grow in humility by destroying all worthless pride.

Practice the beatitudes, then perfect them.

“The Beatitudes depict the countenance of Jesus Christ and portray His charity.” —Catechism of the Catholic Church, (CCC) 1717

The Beatitudes “are the paradoxical promises that sustain hope in the midst of tribulation.” —CCC, 1717

“The Beatitudes reveal the goal of human existence, the ultimate end of human acts.” —CCC, 1719

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‘Woman, Where Are They?’

I can not tell you how beautiful today’s Mass this morning has been for me. My words can never express the pure BEAUTY of the LOVE our Lord has for the soul. Today at mass, I could see our Lord, The Master Carpenter with the hammer in one of his firm hands and His chisel in His other, strike at the block of wood that is my soul, knocking off the sin or the weight that should not be there, forming me into who He is creating me to be.The sin splintering into fragments, not to be used for anything but dust to the floor, to be swept away.

How long I have carried this extra weight that should not be there. Added only by my accuser, the evil one. And where is he? Running to the hills at the sight of Our Lord Jesus Christ who has overcome him. Through my repentance, I can see now my Lord asks me also, ‘Woman, Where Are They? Go and do not sin any more.’

Today’s gospel reading: John 8:1-11 Christ and the adulterous woman

When God sheds light on the sinners conscious, the sinner repents. Fully! Or should I say, is given the GRACE to repent by God. This is mercy. When that light is shed, the accuser, or evil one, also see it and try to steal that light by adding darkness to it and TRY to seduce the soul into thinking it is not God’s mercy but His accusations and JUSTICE. Although God is Just, it is His MERCY He is offering first.

When our LORD wrote with His finger in the dust, “And he gave unto Moses, when he had made an end of communing with him upon mount Sinai, two tables of testimony, tables of stone, written with the finger of God.” Our LORD wrote the law in the sand leaving the sins to the wind to blow away…

Our Lord here, was also giving the accusers the time to throw themselves at His feet and beg for mercy, because they had seen with their own “Conscious” the sins they also had committed. Rather then do so, they walked away, carrying the weight of their sins with them.

Where are the accusers of all our sins after we confess them? Constantly bringing them up in the conscience to NOT commit them again, is the Holy Spirit, so we keep an eye on the path to our Lord. Constantly bringing them up to TEMPT us, is the accusers. The ones who are guilty themselves who do not repent.

In my personal reflection on this scripture, I look around and can see no one accusing me anymore, but rather who was accusing me, and can finally stand up, and walk closer to Him again in repentance.

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My Heart Bleeds For You

How many times in my life, I have heard these words, “My Heart Bleeds For You” from very sarcastic hearts along the way… It always seams as if this world is not lacking insincerity when your down and out. Seems someone was always there to rub there fingers together and tell you, “Hear that? Its the smallest violin playing my heart bleeds for you..”

Today, I heard those words again, along with the violin. They did not come from insincerity, but in front of The Blessed Sacrament. I let the world get to me today and rather then sit and let it get me more then it has, I went to visit our Lord in Adoration. Today is First Friday and the significance is astounding: The First Friday Devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus.:

“The First Friday of each month was designated by our Savior Himself as a day to be
consecrated to honoring His Sacred Heart…. As the object of this devotion is to make our Savior Jesus Christ ardently and perfectly loved, and to make reparation for the outrages offered to Him in the past, as well as for those which he daily receives in the Blessed Eucharist…Jesus Christ merits our love at all times, but alas! He is despised and outraged in the Sacrament of His love at all times, and so people should at all times make reparation to Him.
We should then adore Jesus Christ in this august Sacrament, make a fervent act of love to Jesus in the tabernacle, thank Him for having instituted this Mystery of love, express our sorrow at seeing Him so abandoned, and resolve to visit Him as soon as possible and love Him unceasingly.
Attendance at the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass is assuredly the best means of honoring and loving the adorable Heart of Jesus. ”

So the world started getting to me today, and I was moved to tears. I drove over to adoration to spend time with Our Lord and the Adoration of Our Lord was being held in the Day Chapel and not in the Adoration Chapel, because today is First Friday.

There were a few people there, so I walked around some chairs and knelt down to pray. As I began to tell our Lord about my “Bad Day” and how it was truly getting to me, how I needed strength, from the main Church came the sound of a violin. I Thought of my mom, because she used to play and then thought about how I myself had used the words in a selfish way to people, “My Heart Bleeds For you”. I was so caught up in my self pity, it didn’t hit me until the ride home, that today is First Friday. Our Lord had strengthened me by using some not so innocent slang, to tell me, He in fact was with me and telling me so. The reason the world was getting to me today, is a matter of faith. I thank My Lord! I could not LOVE Him more!

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The Stench Of Sin

I had the pleasure this morning, of going out to breakfast with my husband. I wasn’t feeling well right off the bat and the restaurant we went to, was missing employees and the tables were quite full. We ordered our food, and as the waitress walked away with our order to the kitchen, the hostess was sitting the table behind us. A few moments after the table behind us was seated, I began to be overpowered with the smell of VERY strong perfume. So much so, it was making me ill.

Our food came and we began to eat. From the first bite I placed in my mouth of my breakfast, all I could taste was the overpowering perfume. I would take a drink of ice tea and it would taste like the perfume. It became so overpowering, my mood began to change. I was not in a good mood the longer I sat at this table, unable to eat, drink or let alone think of anything other then that overpowering obnoxious perfume. All I wanted to do was leave and quickly. I had to get away from the stench. I looked at my husband and apologized, I told him I’m sorry, but have them pack up my breakfast, I’ll eat it at home, I have to get out of here and into fresh air.

I left the restaurant and everything behind. When I took in the first gulp of fresh air, the obnoxious perfume was still in my sinuses for a few moments, then it was gone. I did not think about the woman wearing it, but rather how that must be what the Holy Spirit has to deal with, in regards to our sins. “Sin grieves the Holy Spirit and causes a breach in our relationship with God”

I pondered how many times He tried to come to me when I called out, but He couldn’t because the stench of my sins were keeping Him at a distance. Its much easier to hear Him, when He is at your side, rather then trying to hear Him yelling at your from behind a pain of glass, that separates the sinful from the forgiven. Granted, no one is sinless but our Lord Jesus Christ, but it makes His job much easier to speak to us, when we are cleansed through the sacrament of confession… Go take a shower 🙂

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