Tag Archives: forgiveness

The Charcoal Fire


A social media friend had asked me if I liked poetry and shared a wonderful poem with me. As I read it, I knew that I must share it. Enjoy.

The Charcoal Fire

Spark and sputter, charcoal fire,
Ember witness of naked desire.
The shame I cannot bear to tell,
The shame that hastens me to hell.
Not the brave emboldened one,
Thrice denied:
“Never knew him,” leave me alone!
Spark and sputter, charcoal fire,
Ember witness of naked desire.

How I hate what I have done,
Remote dream;
The Chosen One!
Cruel sarcasm to my soul,
Broken vessel can’t be made whole.
O the dream what I might be,
Only serves to torment me.
Spark and sputter, charcoal fire.
Ember witness of naked desire.

“Caught any fish?” The stranger called.
Days and weeks my labor is spent.
Ashes my bread, my back is bent.
“Try the other side,” he said.
(I’ll try anything, I’m good as dead).
Spark and sputter, charcoal fire.
Ember witness of naked desire.

Familiar Stranger, questions me,
“Love me thou?” (this times three).
O get this over, screams my head,
Pronounce the words I’ve come to dread.
Scold me as I ought to be,
Drown me in my misery.
Spark and sputter, charcoal fire.
Ember witness of naked desire.

Slowly dawns the rising sun,
Slowly dawns what has been done.
Roasted fish; a meal so humble.
On Mercy feasted, so I tremble!
“As sparks fly upward,”
Now I see. Homeward bound,
My soul is free.
Spark and sputter, charcoal fire.
Ember witness of His desire.

A. Littletree

Leave a comment

Filed under Reflections, Uncategorized

When Abuse Hits Home – My Parish, My Former Pastor


Adoration

As all the news is breaking today, some of it old, some new, a friend posted a link on my Facebook page and asked me if I had heard about it…

“Lay woman’s saga illustrates clerical sexual abuse of adults”

Yes. Lived through it not only as a rape survivor, but as seeing the fallout from when it takes place in the church. I do share in this woman’s sufferings. The hardest part is trying to explain it all to my children who knew him, who also received the sacraments from him. I didn’t and still don’t need to know the details.  He was removed and our LORD remains.

The days that followed after we met our FORMER pastor, my daughters handed him a gift. It was a gift of Sacred Heart purificators and a corporal. I told him, it was a gift to my children’s Shepherd.

Fast forward to a few weeks ago, as I was helping our Sacristan, I had noticed they were still there, in the Sacristy, feet away from the Tabernacle to be used. As I ponder this gift, I come to understand that it was and is, a gift to our true Shepherd. Our Lord Jesus Christ.

Lets go deeper. My parish, my priest. No matter the location, no matter the Priest, we are all in this together, as you parish, is my parish. Your Priest is my priest. That is our Lord. “Persona Christi”. The Church is our spiritual home.

I forgave him a long time ago in my heart, but some who have never heard, don’t know that the exposing of all this, is best for all of us. Its truly a cleansing we must not be embarrassed about, but rather take and understand that as our Lord said, unless a gran of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains just a grain of wheat. Change for the better comes through death of the old self, and rebirth of the new. No fears of what will the neighbors say. But rather understanding that the neighbors too, one day will have to come to grips with it also. This exposing of abuse is GOOD NEWS.

No matter what may come, our Lord has already prevailed. Cling to Him.

 

Leave a comment

Filed under Reflections, Uncategorized

The Good News


Good News

You can’t simply delete history by trying to destroy it. All you do by trying is add to its lunacy.

Repent and proclaim the Good News of our Lord Jesus Christ, by LIVING it

LIVE the faith. Live in Him

“Do not be afraid to take a chance on peace, to teach peace, to live peace. Peace will be the last word of history” – St. Pope John Paul II

JPII_AliAgca

 

 

 

 

 

Leave a comment

Filed under Prayers, Reflections, Uncategorized

Why We March – Day 4 #IStand4Life


every-life-is-worth-living
On March 21 of last year, I wrote a post about a the day my dad died, and what has taken place in the years that followed. I have not had much communication with family for many years, outside of  social media and a visit from time to time. One sister finally met my youngest daughter who is now ten, this past fall. The reason I post this, is that for most of my life, I always felt insignificant to anyone. Like garbage you could just toss away and no one would notice. Not so anymore. Although I may be insignificant and unnoticed by the entire world, I know I am not to our Lord nor is any human being.. As my conversion of heart continues, embracing my nothingness in this world and His vastness is something I could have never dreamed of before, as a key to seeing how precious every life is in the eyes of our Lord.

I share this today because of the call to go “One Step Further”. I was misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder not long after my father had entered into eternal life, which, after being re diagnosed a few years later, was actually serious grief issues after a series of extreme life changing incidents, emotionally abusive relationship, losing a job, my mother having lung cancer, losing my home, having to send my oldest daughter to live with a sister, surviving a brutal rape,  I tried to take my own life.  From that moment of waking up in the ICU, knowing our Lord had given me a second chance, I began to walk with Him and not away from Him any longer. Keeping my eyes on Him and focused on him.   My dad and his timely death, played big part, which brought me to today, to see the beautiful significance of the connection of our Lord between us all. I can say, very easily,  life is worth living, no matter how hard it may be, no matter how much suffering there may be, no matter how much one may be lacking in material possessions, each and ever human life, is worth living and only our Lord can take that life from us, as He gives us life.

 One Step Further:
Proponents of doctor-assisted suicide try to draw a sharp distinction between those with a mental illness who want to end their lives and those with a terminal illness who express the same wish. “Every Suicide is Tragic” explores the consequences of this false distinction. (supplemental information and short videos)

I have written quite often about my conversion concerning the day my dad entered into eternal life. It was September 23, 1996, the feast of St. Padre Pio and my dad had been the glue that held my family, brothers and sisters and myself together. Since his death, many have left the Catholic faith and went off doing what ever. In all honestly, since I moved out to California I had lost contact with most of them and focused on what I had asked in that prayer.

The night my dad died, as he lay dying, I prayed that he would talk to our Lord and get me back home to Him. Here we are, 2016 and after extensive repenting and getting back in communion, I will be making my first Profession in the Third Order Of Carmel, TOC on October 1.

This morning at Holy Mass, during the Homily, my priest had told us that the main objective of our duties this Holy Week, was New Evangelization to those within our own Family’s who had left the faith. I sat with my head hung low as I knew this job that had just been presented to me, would be extremely difficult, as my brothers and sisters in my own family, along with nieces and nephews and even my own oldest daughter, have left the faith. Along with cousins, and others. Outside of an older sister of mine, the entire family stopped believing in Him and the faith we all grew up into and went their own ways. It has been extremely painful for me in many ways as I have been viewed by them as the crazy one. One never to be listened to. From the onset of my Conversion of Heart, I can not stop listening to our Lord, nor will I. I left them all and continued to cling to our Lord and the only Truth left in this world. And here we are.

This morning after Holy Mass, I took our Lord in the Eucharist to a few souls in the Nursing Home and had a conversation with an elderly friend of mine named Lilly, who is also a professed member of my Carmelite family.

We spoke about the topic of New Evangelization to family, and I had expressed to her that the only way anyone would ever listen to me, in my own family or home, was if I were dead. After leaving her, I prayed and realized I am dead to them. The person they knew no longer exists and they still won’t listen.

I arrived at home and the mail man had come. I noticed two packages and brought them in without even looking to see who they were addressed for. I assumed they were for my daughter and husband. As I was placing them on the table, I noticed my name on one of them. The return address was my sister whom I don’t talk to much anymore. I opened the package and cried when I seen what it was. Here in a package addressed to me was a message never intended for me, but for all my brothers and sisters who have left the faith. Directly from my dad.

Inside the box I found my dad’s First Holy Communion Certificate dated May 21, 1936 along with his personal prayer book. I read the letter attached from my sister which stated, she had found these in an envelop with my dad’s personal items, marked specifically, “Important Papers”. I knew just how important they are but unfortunately, my sister didn’t understand who they were meant for. This package was a direct message from my dad to my brothers and sisters who had left the faith. The “Important Paper” with your name on it. Remember YOUR Baptism. Remember YOUR First Holy Communion. Remember YOUR Confirmation. Remember OUR Lord. Remember OUR First Love. Return to Him. There is nothing else on the face of the earth more important than our faith. I also knew my dad needed me share this with them. They refuse to listen to me, I pray they listen to him. I pray they return to our Lord also. I pray all my Catholic Family return back home to Him, with their entire heart, mind, soul and strength. There is no greater Love than His for you. Repent. The door is open. Homecoming is just one confession away. I love you and I pray for all my brothers and sisters. St. Constantine the Great, pray for us.

All praise, glory and honor to our Lord, Jesus Christ. Amen.

EDIT TO ADD: After I had written this today, a tweet came across from the USCCB that just filled me with our Lord’s love.

loveing

From tonight’s Divine Office: Evening Prayer

“Listen, O daughter, give ear to my words:
forget your own people and your father’s house.
So will the king desire your beauty:
He is your lord, pay homage to him.”

9DaysForLife reflection HERE 

Leave a comment

Filed under Prayers, Reflections, Uncategorized

Forgiveness And Family Reconciliation


dsc04223

Very timely pondering from my retreat which took place on April 15 through the 17 that truly needs to be shared. May it bring healing to many.

Forgiveness and Family Reconciliation

[Adapted and reorganized from personal notes from a talk given by Fr. Peter Mary on 16 April 2016 as part of a retreat given at the El Carmelo Retreat House in Redlands, California.]

Question:

Do I have someone I need to forgive? Do I need to forgive myself?

How do I begin the process of forgiveness?

We are obligated to be merciful because God was merciful to us first.

Repay God’s mercy to us by being merciful to others.

The Lord’s Prayer (Mt 6:5-15) is explicit. Our forgiveness from the Father is conditioned upon our forgiveness of others.

St. Teresa of Avila’s Way of Perfection (chap. 36).

Defining Forgiveness:

What Forgiveness Is:

Forgiveness is act of will and intellect.

Forgiveness is a process which takes time and practice. That’s why it seems hard.

Forgiveness is a free gift.

It does not depend upon the actions or response of the offender.

It is distinct from reconciliation, a further step, which includes the offender.

What Forgiveness Is Not:

Forgiveness is separate from any need to challenge the offender’s destructive behavior.

Forgiveness does not guarantee we forget.

Forgiveness does not remove the pain.

Fruits of Forgiveness:

Forgiving leads to joyful living and peace.

Not forgiving leads to other problems.

It can lead to loneliness and isolation due to an inability to trust others.

It can destroy clear thinking.

It can destroy physical and mental health. The body and mind are connected.

Recognizing Who to forgive:

Consider the people within your own family.

Consider the people you need to forgive.

Consider the people who annoy you.

It is not possible to completely avoid people who annoy us. Trying to ignore them leads to loneliness and isolation.

We need to transform the annoyances.

Principles for Practicing Forgiveness:

Recognize you could be wrong or have misunderstood.

Take into account the difficulties the offender might have had in their life.

Weak offenders may be incapable of forgiving. Forgiveness does not depend upon the offender reciprocating.

Be careful not to limit forgiveness by placing conditions.

Recall how Jesus embraced the pain of his passion and the cross.

Good can come out of evil especially if we imitate the cross. We need to transform evil. (purification of memories is dealt by St John of the Cross in the Ascent.)

Forgive the offender immediately.

Depend upon God’s love to empower your forgiveness.

Nine Practices to Develop Forgiveness:

1. Pray for those you need to forgive.

2. Pray for your ability to forgive.

3. Receive regular confession in gratitude for God’s mercy on you.

4. Receive regular reception of the Eucharist for God’s mercy to be present within you.

5. Become more aware of a tendency to see only the bad in people and strive to see the good.

6. Imagine yourself into the other person’s situation and the pain and hurt they may have felt.

7. Avoid unreasonable expectations of yourself and others.

8. Be honest about yourself that you could be wrong.

9. Examine your conscience to recognize progress.

3 Comments

Filed under Mercy, Reflections, Uncategorized

Polls


pictures-of-crosses-jesus-1127718-wallpaper

 

The only polls that ever mattered, or will…. Hint – Stick with the One in the center.

For through the law I died to the law, that I might live for God. I have been crucified with Christ; yet I live, no longer I, but Christ lives in me; insofar as I now live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son of God who has loved me and given himself up for me.

 

Leave a comment

Filed under Reflections, Uncategorized

JOY And Thanksgiving


Lights

 

An estimated 2 million people took part in the procession at the Eucharistic Congress.

I pray for all souls to bring our Lord back, in such splendor, into your hearts.

My Lord and my God

Words can not describe the JOY in my heart and soul, watching the video below.

 

For the full story: CLICK HERE

 

CaA8Z4lUcAAIBLU

1 Comment

Filed under Prayers, Reflections, Uncategorized