Tag Archives: Fortitude

Pentecost 2017


18671285_10213576427433079_144037615131367838_n

As we celebrate Pentecost, I am filled with reflections through the years, of how our Lord has continued to enter the hearts of His faithful and in them, light the fire of His Love.

What are the seven gifts of the Holy Spirit?

Wisdom helps us recognize the importance of others and the importance of keeping God central in our lives.

Understanding is the ability to comprehend the meaning of God’s message.

Knowledge is the ability to think about and explore God’s revelation, and also to recognize there are mysteries of faith beyond us.

Counsel is the ability to see the best way to follow God’s plan when we have choices that relate to him.

Fortitude is the courage to do what one knows is right.

Piety helps us pray to God in true devotion.

Fear of the Lord is the feeling of amazement before God, who is all-present, and whose friendship we do not want to lose.

Breathe into me, Holy Spirit, that my thoughts may all be holy. Move in me, Holy Spirit, that my work, too, may be holy. Attract my heart, Holy Spirit, that I may love only what is holy. Strengthen me, Holy Spirit, that I may defend all that is holy. Protect me, Holy Spirit, that I may always be holy.

Saint Augustine

As I was praying last night, I was reminded of this post from 2011 and started to ponder all that was here and how our Lord does love us all.

Washing The Kitchen Floor With The Holy Spirit

My typical Saturday…with only one difference. I got my lazy but off the computer for a break to wash my kitchen floor and had a friendly chat with the Holy Spirit while doing so. It went something like this:

Holy Spirit: Hey Peg?

Me: Yes?

Holy Spirit: Remember back when you were so distraught and didn’t have anyone left to turn to regarding the state of your soul and the mortal sins you were covered in? Remember when your eyes were so swollen from crying, thinking that God would never forgive you and that He must be punishing you, and you thought God hated you?

Me: Yes. I’ll never forget that day. Or the days that followed.

Holy Spirit: Remember when you dropped everything you were doing, got in your car, drove to find any Catholic Church, and parked your car, walked in and sat in the pew, and broke down in tears again, begging God to forgive you?

Me: Yes. I don’t know how I got there or how I brought myself to do that.

Holy Spirit: Remember there was only one other person in that church, that just happened to be open? A church building where the doors were not locked? Remember then after sitting in tears, the Catholic Priest who just happened to be there, who just happened to tap you on the shoulder and ask you if he could help you?

Me: Yes. I was lucky that day!!

Holy Spirit: Luck? HAHA! Remember it being as if the Priest was pulling your teeth, for him to get you to confess your sins? Remember Him asking you if you would like to confess them and you did everything you could not to and told him that God would never forgive you but you confessed your sins anyway?

Me: Yes. For many years after, I struggled with thinking He was very angry with me. I walked out that day thinking, pfft, yeah. My life then was hell. I hated being there but didn’t know how to get out. I wasn’t sure if I could. In the state of hell that is. I didn’t want to leave the church.

Holy Spirit: Do you understand now, it was I who was with you, before you acted on my Love for you and you decided to go? Do you know now that it was I who carried you out of that hell you were living in and continue to keep you from there? Do you know now, that is God’s Grace? Do you know now, it was I who planted the seeds of repentance? I who made it possible for you to find the open church? I who made sure the Priest was there for you? I who was with you when you left and stayed with you? I who am STILL with you? I who Love you? I who made everything so EASILY possible for you to return to me? All you did was listen and followed your heart, where I can always be found. Do you know now how much God loves you? How much God loves ALL his children?

Me: I do now. Thank you Lord!

More like the Holy Spirit washing the floor with me…..

*Self Knowledge

Leave a comment

Filed under Prayers, Reflections, Uncategorized

When The Bottom Falls Out


20170227_205848

I went to grab a bowl from my cabinet for dinner tonight and when I did, I found this…

Before finding this, and keep in mind it was one of my favorite bowls, I had received an email from my daughter’s teacher in regards to her struggling with behavior issues again, requesting a meeting. My youngest daughter is on the Autism Spectrum and problems arise when her routine changes.

Before receiving the email, I had been struggling with other family issues pertaining to my oldest daughter, and my middle daughter is struggling with both issues with her sisters on top of being a very emotional preteen. SO , things have been slightly tense trying to carry it all, not very easily,  and coming to realize that I can not fix anything, but I can hope in our Lord and pray.

My favorite bowl. When I pulled it down and noticed the bottom had fallen out, all I could think of was, “This too?”. I’m not a materialistic person. The loss of the bowl was a split second of loss, as I got back to the real issues with my girls, which also, I was not able to fix today. So I pray and place it all once again into our Lord hands.

I sat down and pondered for a moment of all that was taking place. Got back up an pulled that bottomless bowl from the trash and was reminded to cling to our Lord. Stop struggling.

When things in this world are tough, and everything seems to go so bad that the bottom falls out, cling to our Lord even tighter and don’t let go. When the bottom falls out, your left with the top.  And that is how a “halo” is made.

A beautiful quote from St. Faustina:

Sister Faustina wrote of her experiences at the behest of the Lord Jesus:
My daughter, I demand that you devote all your free moments to writing about My goodness and mercy. It is your office and your assignment throughout your life to continue to make known to souls the great mercy I have for them and to exhort them to trust in My bottomless mercy. (1586)

“O Blood and Water, which gushed forth from the Heart of Jesus as a fount of Mercy for us, I trust in You.”

And this.. is the side of that favorite bowl. His word was not broken.

20170227_205831-1

Leave a comment

Filed under Reflections, Uncategorized

Don’t Run Away – Be Not Afraid


StJP2

I find it beautiful that when our Lord makes known His presence, its after a time of reflecting that we are able to put it all together and say without a doubt, after He has already been in the moment we are experiencing, I know that was you Lord.  He makes it very clear by doing this, that we are not to cling to the moment, nor the people in it with us, but rather too Him  and understand that He truly is always with us, sometimes hidden, when we forget He is in the Tabernacle and in His time, we come to see Him in many different ways in our lives.

Imagine being the soldiers at the tomb during His glorious resurrection. Imagine the anxiety of the soldiers who at one point were simply doing their job and the very next were faced with something so profound, the only thing they could do besides face it, was to run in fear. Imagine the fear that would cause a hardened trained solder to abandon his post. Imagine knowing that you are a soldier appointed to guard a post and leaving that post meant absolute death for not following the orders of your superiors.

Through my entire awareness of my conversion of heart, I have been presented with so many forms of anxiety and it was only when I learned how to depend on our Lord for everything that that the anxiety’s I was facing became nothing more than temptations to run away from the cross our Lord was asking me to carry with Him. Many times through this, when the pressure was at its greatest and I just couldn’t take any more of the pain I was seeing in others, that they never even noticed in themselves, and in the pain it was causing me to see it, I would be tempted to toss it all aside and run away. Anywhere away from it all. When we do that, we find out very quickly that no matter where we run to, its already there too. The reason its already there is because its our Lord calling you to help Him. Calling you to cling to Him. Calling you to pick up that cross of daily life and walk through all the destruction and misery that is attacking you, to walk through with Him, the valley of the shadow of death and into Life. Life in Him and with Him.

There is nothing more peaceful that a soul can do than to call out to our Lord while in the midst of the turmoil with your entire heart, calling to Him: “Jesus I trust in You”. He always answers as He is already there. “Be not afraid”.  To the true believer, all the heavy fog of anxiety (fight or flight) and despair (run away) blows away and is replaced by His calm (fight for Him). If you are one with Him, handing Him all of it and not clinging to what you can’t let go of, you are able to see Him as the Storm that is raging all around and He pulls you into His Eye where there is silence, peace and joy. Like a hurricane, in the eye of the storm there is always calm. Its what is on the outside of the eye that is being blown about and scattered. Its not to say we don’t enter into the turbulence that surrounds, but we know we are anchored in Him and we have Him as our Life line back to the calm, in order to help those overcome by their own fears of destruction and anxiety’s of daily life.

Keep me as the apple of your eye;

hide me in the shadow of your wings – Psalm 17:8

How do we stay in the Eye of God? Love. We don’t run away. We don’t leave our post. We face all things with faith in Him. We walk through our lives as He on the via dolorosa with Him until we come to the end, in which He says “It is finished”.

Up until yesterday my husband and I had been experiencing a rough patch in our relationship. I had been struggling a lot lately with not being able to see our Lord in those within my own home and particularly in my husband. Much like the woman who went to the tomb, I know our Lord is here someplace, I just couldn’t find Him. As I wrote yesterday, I spoke about how my morning offering was very different. Something beautifully different. Before my husband left for work, he hugged me and smiled. For the first time in many years, it was genuine. It was a genuine hug in love and not just because that was what a husband did. Its been very difficult but our Lord has given my husband so much grace and I can see Him working through him.  I can see our Lord working in him, trying to wake him up, but I had not seen my husband turn to Him and say yes Lord. That smile on his face was one I had not seen for some time and when he left, all I wanted to do was to see that smile when he came back. We must always remember that even though we can’t see, through faith, we trust Him, no matter how painful it may be.

This morning as I write this, after the events of yesterday, after of the events I have faced to date, after it has all unfolded and the very moment is now memory, the entire Resurrection of our Lord at that moment outside of His tomb, is in my heart in that hug and smile, and now I can see and shout with all certainty in JOY, “‘Rabbuni!’” I know with my entire heart, that was you. I picked up this cross, and all of them in this life that I give completely to You, with You and carry them all in love with You. Sacred Heart of Jesus, I trust in You.

Praise, glory and honor to You O Lord, for all time and eternity. Amen

Leave a comment

Filed under Mercy, Prayers, Reflections, Uncategorized

No One Can Destroy The Temple


Burning-candles-in-the-dark-

I write this in regards to the reports of the destruction of the Church Buildings by ISIS and Radical Islam in Iraq…

The devil always tempts us to place faith in the material goods around us, including in the Church, and its an often used weapon to cause anger, and inflame rage in hearts at the destruction of “material goods”. The devil uses this so called destruction to cause more souls close to our Lord to sin deeper. Do not be alarmed by what you see. Do not worry. We know one day they will have to answer to our Lord, as we also shall. Watch your souls and pray for theirs.

Its not worth it to fall for the ISIS “Temper Tantrum”. The Vessel of God can never be destroyed. “Jesus answered them, “Destroy this temple, and I will raise it again in three days.”.John 2:19

When a Church Building burns by accident, arson or any other way is destroyed, over time, it is rebuilt. Material possessions are not the heart of the Faith. The heart of the Faith is our Lord. Even when you see the inflammatory rhetoric stating that Shariah will dominate the world, we can never forget the words of our Lord:

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

Pray for them. ” be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell.”

It may be disappointing to lose the things that have been around for thousands of years but we must also remember our Lord has always been and always will be.

Someone to ponder while ISIS destroys the Churches (buildings) in Iraq. Servant of God, Cardinal Nguyen Van Thuan of Vietnam. Imprisoned for 13 years in Communist Vietnam, he celebrated daily Holy Mass in his dark cell, with a single crumb of bread & a tiny drop of wine. His Altar was his hand and his shirt pocket became a tabernacle.

We become tempted by thinking that excess of “things’ makes the Faith, but less, truly is more.

Pray for their conversions.. Pray for serenity. Pray without ceasing.

Servant of God, Cardinal Nguyen Van Thuan, pray for us. Immaculate Heart of Mary, Pray for us. Sacred Heart of Jesus, I place all my faith and trust in You.

No one can destroy the Temple, as the Temple is our Lord.

Leave a comment

Filed under Prayers, Reflections, Uncategorized

Stuck With Me


stuck

Not much to say today as I have been very busy. Actually I have tons to say but how to do place every action of your life in Christ in words and still have time to do His work. There isn’t enough time nor paper in the world to register the amount and quality of the time I have with Him.

Yesterday was a beautiful day. At the 8 AM Mass, I felt a deep connection with not only the Gospel (Mk 5:1-20)but also with my priests Homily. I could see my life flashing before my eyes with ever word spoken. It’s something to be able to say you can place yourself in the Gospels, but quite another to see your life playing out as they are being spoken. I could see myself as the man from the tombs with the unclean spirit. In constant agony, afraid to leave the dead with the dead. Living in the past, unable to accept our Lords forgiveness and the progression of time and my life. I know this to be how I used to live. I know our Lord came to me as He did just like the man in the tombs. When it came time to tell my family how He changed me and cured me, they were so upset with me. They thought I had lost my mind. (I forgive them, I love them & pray for them and know in my heart our Lord will tell them Himself one day.)

While walking up to Communion, I still pondered the Gospel. I did notice one striking difference in my case. Our Lord never left me. He never left me alone with the family that rejected Him, or the changes He had made in my life. He was still standing right next to me. With that, in my heart I heard Him speak to me the words; “You’re stuck with me”.

As I moved closer to receive Him in the Eucharist, my priest handed Him to me and as soon as I received HIm consuming HIm, I noticed TWO were stuck together. I couldn’t hold back a few tears of joy and a slight squeal that came from my joy. I am so in love with Him.

1 Comment

Filed under Reflections

White Horse


chalice

“I saw heaven standing open and there before me was a white horse, whose rider is called Faithful and True. With justice he judges and makes war” Revelation 19:11

I was blessed this morning with not only setting up for 24 hour Exposition of the Blessed Sacrament after our 8:00 AM Mass, but also through the Legion of Mary, partaking in and setting up a Mass located in one of our Nursing Homes that we evangelize to every week. I had set up the Altar and we were waiting for our priest. When he arrived, although I had set them out, we forgot to bring our celebrants vestments and I asked him before the Mass began, if he would like me to run and get them. He said yes and so I was off to retrieve them. Our Parish was not that far away from where we were located. When I returned I parked on a side street from the main road next to a protestant church, where the Nursing facility was located. I got out of my car and standing in the middle of the street was a huge black rooster. I giggled as I seen him thinking this was an odd place for a rooster. I made a chicken noise at him, laughed and began to cross the road. I thought of the old joke as I was crossing, “Why did the chicken cross the road?” and said out loud, thinking of what we were about to do, vestments in hand, answering “Because I’m not a chicken”.

I arrived in time for the Gospel to be read and after, Father placed on the stole. During the consecration of the bread and wine, into the Body and Blood of our Lord, I noticed that there appeared to be a reflection of the Roman Missal on the chalice. The holy book was open and the pages laying in such a way that looked like one white horses hoof on the chalice. I couldn’t hold back my smile and it brought me deeper into the Mass. I was overcome with a deep peace and joy. I could see Victory. I knew, in the midst of this suffering our Lord and His entire Holy Army were present to bring The Light, defeat the darkness of the lame, suffering and all His children’s ailments. The True Healer was present and I was able to see Him in His glory as all received Him warmly, in love.

Leave a comment

Filed under Reflections

New Shoes


“And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, “How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!” Romans 10:15

Standing on The Gospel

Reaching Ephesians 6:15 “and your feet shod in readiness for the gospel of peace”

We need to be “readied” by the “shoes” of the “death, burial, and resurrection of Christ”, which is the Gospel that brings peace.

I had a dream last Wednesday night, after Wednesday’s events and blog post, that has left such an impression on me, much as the same dream that I had before my conversion in which I now see as the beginning of my conversion or departure from self and the world. This dream last week, however, was a dream of arrival into the arms of my Lord.

When I was young, I would focus on the wounds of our Lord and pray to God to allow me to heal them for Him. To sit at his side and nurse his wounds. I could see His broken body so clearly, suffering in so much pain. I wanted to cleanse them and dress them. Administer ointment to them and kiss Him and make Him well, then I would pray that I could be the horse that our Lord would ride into battle to take out all the sin from the world. Good Lord, when I think of that now, I understand the gravity of my asking that of Him.

The Dream:

I was in a dim lit maze. I had reached the end. I was blocked in on three sides. To the left was a solid wall. I was wrought with worry. I didn’t know where to go. Turning around was not an option as the entire maze had been full of terrors at every turn. In front of me there was no way to move forward. To the right, was a wall. Cut into the wall on the right was a passage that was outlined with bright light as it was cut through before but looked solid. It wasn’t me who had been there before, but the way was made easy for me to pass through. I pressed my shoulder on the cut out and broke through. I laughed so hard because it was so easy. The wall went from looking as solid stone, to being only made of something like Styrofoam. It was a Styrofoam facade maze I had been traveling through.

When I broke through while laughing after, I was in the parking lot of my Parish. It was packed with people. There was a Man and a small group of souls waiting for me. I can not identify the souls waiting with Him. The worry left me immediately and was replaced with utter peace. He smiled and I was full of so much love for this Man. I had reached the Man I had been searching for my entire life. He grabbed me and bent down to lift my right foot. The soul of my boot was warn away and my toes were exposed. He continued to smile and grabbed me by the hand and told me: “Come on, lets get you your new shoes.” and led me away.

I woke up after, immersed in the love and peace I had in this dream, which is still with me, looked at my crucifix smiling and said out loud, It’s You!

“18 I will not leave you orphans; I will come to you.* 19 In a little while the world will no longer see me, but you will see me, because I live and you will live.m 20 On that day you will realize that I am in my Father and you are in me and I in you.n 21 Whoever has my commandments and observes them is the one who loves me. And whoever loves me will be loved by my Father, and I will love him and reveal myself to him.”o 22 Judas, not the Iscariot,* said to him, “Master, [then] what happened that you will reveal yourself to us and not to the world?” 23 Jesus answered and said to him, “Whoever loves me will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our dwelling with him. 24 Whoever does not love me does not keep my words; yet the word you hear is not mine but that of the Father who sent me.”

Immersed in Thy love;
Fresher than morning dew;
Here I’m kept away from every earthly care.
Such tender feeling;
Caressed by my Beloved;
You’re the loveliest, much fairer than the fair.
Moments with You,
How affectionate!
Now I seize this opportunity to say
That I love You.
I will be with You
All my days, come what may.
I cannot help it;
I’m so in love with You
For I’ve tasted Your divine heavenly wine.
I’m soaked with Thy love,
I pour my all on You.
What my future holds for me, my Lord are Thine.
I’m so attracted
By Your constraining love,
And Your Name is sweet as ointment poured forth
I’m captivated by Your dear Person, Lord.
Draw me from this age to pursue only You…

Ad maiorem Dei gloriam!

Leave a comment

Filed under Prayers, Reflections, Uncategorized