Tag Archives: Mental Illness

Spiritually Crippled

So many times, so many many times in my life I could not move forward, away from the things that crippled me.

Hate, vengeance, cruelty, greed, depression, aggression…. These are all things that cripple the spirit. Imagine you were hit by someone and it broke the skin. Now imagine explaining the act to everyone you see the rest of your life and when you do, you pick the scab off the wound and make it bleed over and over again. Now, we have a wound that never heals and the person goes to the Dr for medication for it and no matter how much topical lotion is placed on the wound, it does not heal. Insanity right?

When we continue to feed them, they grow to a point which blots out the entire view our soul has of God. They become our wheel chair. We become trapped and led around by our own hate for others, no matter what is said to us in return, it is taken out of context and applied to some sort of vengeful act against us. The entire world seems to be picking on us rather then comforting us. So and so did this to ME!

The same thing needs to apply to sin. When we become so entangled in sin we become so lost. We look to medication and doctors to cure us of our “Depression” when the reality is, only God can cure a sick soul. We never want to look at the obvious causes of our problems, being we just are refusing to listen to God. We seek justification from our peers and want to believe anything but the truth. Until we can no longer move in any direction and the weight of the world crushes us underneath its weight.

I was spiritually crippled. So many times while I was battling with my family who thinking I was mentally ill, and my believing them, all the while, I just wanted to go to confession and get right with God. There isn’t a pill made that could replace the Sacrament of Confession nor the cleansing hands of a Catholic Priest. But no one outside of the faith could ever understand this. All I heard during this time was “are you taking the meds?” I was, but they would never work to make my sinful life OK. All that crushing weight was the last straw giving out in my soul causing depression, causing me to think God was mad at me. I had no place left to turn. Now that I have “Turned” back to God, there is no other place I want to go.

Today’s Gospel, is about healing. Healing through many hands and should bring a repentant soul so much joy. To hear the words ‘My child, your sins are forgiven.’ breaks any ice of sin that had kept a soul from moving closer to our Lord.


Filed under Reflections