Tag Archives: Purgatory

From Jagged To Smooth

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Reveling dream during a very short nap…
During a short nap our Lord revealed something very frightening to me…

I was standing in a giant pile of rocks. All of which were very smooth. In my hand was another smooth rock. When I drooped it, our Lord revealed to me, that each and every rock started out jagged and rough and at some time, I was ordered to polish them. I was given no tools in which to do this except my bare hands. By rubbing each rock in my hand, over time, it smoothed them. It occurred to me how much time had to pass for me to polish each rock by hand, simply by rubbing them in my hands. Each jagged rock, was a single sin I had committed. The time spent smoothing them out, was my sentence…

smooth

Then I was walking in the sun. A well know woman, pop star singer, was laying in a chair with headphones on, listening to her own music, roasting in the sun. I wanted to tell her about our Lord and how she needed to know about Him. But she didn’t care. She just wanted to listen to “her own music”.

I entered into a tent, well shaded and sat down next to Mother Angelica in a lawn chair. We just knew each other very well through a connection unlike any other. She smiled at me and said, “Aren’t you glad we have the sacrament of Confession?” I said Yes. She said “This is why we have to tell so many how important the sacrament of confession is.”

Our Lords mercy and forgiveness, through the sacrament of confession, takes the roughness from the stones of sin, allowing us to leave that horrible place where the smoothing out needs to take place, much sooner than we could ever imagine…

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The Adoration Of The Magi

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A few days ago, I read a post over at Patheos, No Room for God in this “Adoration of the Magi”

I have to disagree with the assessment of the painting…

What this painting does reveal, is the look on the “kings” of the world today, who, for the first time, are realizing Jesus Christ truly is King. Psalms 72:11, “May all kings fall down before him, all nations serve him!.” We are all kings in our own right, and in His, we are only children. Ask yourself, honestly, what will be the frist thing I do, when I see His face for the first time. Yes, you will be amazed, but the moment you realize He is Lord, the soul is thrown into a deep state of “Repentance”. Purgatory on earth for those who find Him now, Purgatory for those who did not, after death of the body, do. The moment begins with the understanding that you hurt Him through your sins and lack of love. You sought the things of this world rather than Him first. In every moment in your past, in everything you have done and didn’t do, you missed His love. You didn’t listen to Him. You didn’t do everything He told you to do. The reflection of yourself, in the Son of God on the Cross who became sin but had no sin in Him. Seeing yourself as you truly are. A sinner. Seeing Him as He truly is. THEE same Innocent Child who when we see Him, we understand as the centurion “Surely he was the Son of God!”. This is the beginning of Fear of the Lord. I feel the painting captures the “look”, quite honestly.

“Do not think that your present state is a punishment from Heaven, because you would be wrong, but be certain that your present state is willed by God for the salvation of your soul.” ~St.Padre Pio

Remember the scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark, when the Ark is opened for the first time. The “Bad Guys” were captivated in Wonder and Awe at first, but then “melted”. Yeah, it’s just like that. Our hearts “Melt” from being frozen in sin and we realize the answer to the question God asks, “What have you done”. Genesis 4:10 The answer: Psalm 51:4 “Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight.”

I had that look on my face for many years and at times even now, still do. He has taught me through repentance, that He is still with me and joy and hope overtakes the “look” every time. In His time. In His suffering. In His forgivness.

Reminds me of the opening song in Les Miserables; “Look Down”. As many do need to “”Look Down” from their personal thrones on high, they have placed themselves in.

Take into account not what the The Kings brought Him, but what they walked away with after seeing Him. They ( The Wise Men) didn’t go back to King Herod (the sinful way). No. They took a different route.

Where did Judas run back to after seeing His Face? “So Judas threw the money into the temple and left. Then he went away and hanged himself.” Matthew 27:5

Turn to me and be saved, all the ends of the earth, for I am God unrivalled. By my own self I swear it, what comes from my mouth is truth, a word irrevocable: before me every knee shall bend, by me every tongue shall swear. – Isaiah 45:22-23

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Prayer For 2013

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Lord help me to focus and work on all that is needed for You in 2013. Help me to live as You have intended me to live. Help me to be as You have created me to be. Help me Lord to be there in times of need for those You have placed in the life you have created for me. May I lead all souls back to You O Lord in my words, actions and way of living. May I always seek You first in all things, especially in my sufferings and trials. May I find joy in You and through You my Beloved Lord, and share this joy with the entire world, so that in its times of sadness and bitterness, it may hold on to your sweet compassion with both hands, and eat only what You give to them. May I continue to win the battles over evil in my soul and in my life, with You and all your Saints and Holy Angels at the ready. May all the holy souls in Purgatory be released from their bondage and accept you’re pardon and mercy my Lord. May the children you have given to me, pull ever closer to You this year and stay at Your side. May we all grow in all the gifts of the most Holy Spirit. May the murder of all you’re children through the heinous act of abortion come to an end. May Your One Holy Catholic and Apostolic Church and all her members come to know You better and serve only You. May those who have left, return to You. If my death in exile should come this year, I unite it to Your death and give You my Love, all the glory and honor. I hope to spend eternity with You. May I become so lost in You, that all I find, is You, all I see, taste and touch and know, is You. May you have mercy on us all. I ask this through the Immaculate Heart of Mary our Mother, to Your most Sacred Heart O Lord. Amen

Have a blessed and Christ centered New Year.

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A Slow Walk Through Purgatory

I just broke into tears because I read something that I have been going through since 1998. I have NEVER been able to place it into this paragraph that has capture the essence of it all.

From the article: All Sin Is Disgusting

“If you want a truly Lenten experience, then pray earnestly that the Holy Spirit will reveal to you the damage that your sins have done. And then hold onto your butts, because it’s going to be a horrible ride. Don’t forget to pray for hope and healing at the same time, nothing hurts more than looking your own guilt in the face.”

It is a horrible ride. A very SLOW walk through purgatory. The ONLY THING that has kept my sanity throughout my entire experience is KNOWING it is REAL and so builds my faith and LOVE for Christ and I can only hold onto the mercy of God and pray continually.

Every second I am alive is spent in constant repentance leaving self behind, thinking only of others.

EDIT TO ADD:

It truly is: “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?” A blessing in disguise

At least while I am here, I get reprieve! I can SEE His grace at work. I can see it in the Church! I can see Him in EVERYTHING! When the reprieves come, its a beautiful peace. Its a constant ride that doesn’t end until He says “It is finished”.

From the agony in the Garden: “”My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death,” he said to them. “Stay here and keep watch.” Mark 14:34

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