Tag Archives: Repentance

The Dryness Of Lent


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It used to be the moment I woke, the awareness of our Lord’s presence abounded. Immediately I would speak to Him in prayer. I had a smile always on my face. It was the so wonderful “honeymoon” of faith. Joy filled my heart, and just before waking, I could hear His voice calling me to wake.

Lately, I seem to be losing the awareness and my thoughts have become rather distorted with “worldly” things and souls. I have been struggling upon waking for the past few weeks, and have noticed the strange distractions of other things, taking the place of Him. I’m not sure why, but I am aware of this taking place and I am fighting it. I can see it for what it is, and I begin to pray the moment the distractions try to overpower me. Jesus, I trust in You, Lord have mercy on me. The awareness is not completely gone, but more like something is trying to come between us to take my attention. Imagine being on a date, and someone coming up to your table and interrupting the private conversation. That is how I can see this distraction.

Earlier tonight, I had posted this with a prayer request for me, as I see my struggle and also know it to be pure grace to see it.

I took my girls out for ice cream tonight. On the way home, there was so much water on the street but it was as if someone was driving in front of me while dumping out a pitcher of water. It soaked the entire lane we were in and it had made its own river flowing onto the freeway. This huge “river” went from the ice cream shop parking lot where we had been, on to the freeway where we needed to go, flowed through and down the exit ramp to our street, through an intersection, where we made a left hand turn and up to our street.  It was a HUGE water truck letting out water as it went and we were only a minute or so following behind it.

Just after Evening prayers, our Lord reminded me of that spiritual dryness I had asked for prayers about and I laughed with Him.

“It is the LORD who goes before you; he will be with you and will never fail you or forsake you. So do not fear or be dismayed” Deuteronomy 31:8

It’s so good to hear His voice. Like that water truck, spraying, He waters my soul and dismay is washed away.

Lord be with us, as we are trying to be with You this lent. That we may come to rise with You on the third day.

 

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Rock Stars


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As I was sitting with our Lord in Adoration, I found myself praying for all the “Rock Stars” I idolized as a kid. Most of whom are no longer with us now. I’m not sure why this all came up in Adoration as I simply wanted to spend time with our Lord. But the subject of false idols has been heavy on me lately, in regards to how much so many place their trust on and in the worlds “stars”, be in musical, acting, political etc, rather than on how much in need they are also, as we all are, of healing, mercy and our Lord.

False idols are made from the same clay as you & I. Glits & glam is an illusion. Scratch the surface, and you see the same faults, flaws, deep yearnings and misdeeds (sins) as everyone else. What makes the difference between a false idol and a model, is when we choose the fill the void we have, with our Lord and not money, drugs, women, men, sex nor any lesser creature or creation. Every one of us, is a broken pot, seeking to be placed back together, in need of our Creator to do so.

Our Lord is the Author of all creation. The gifts and talents we receive come directly from Him. Should we not use them to give Him glory?

For the past few days, I had been listening to the old music I did once upon a time, digging through live performances and documentary’s. I was struck by the simplicity of those whom I thought were so great, and could see the same struggles that I faced in my lifetime. A deep longing to be loved. Not as the world loves, and rather than turning to our Lord, taking a road seldom ever return. Taking everything but our Lord and trying to recreate that Love, to shove into the soul to fill the void of who I was truly missing.

As I said above, I found myself praying for all the performers who had passed away. Deeply, asking our Lord to have mercy on all of us. As my time was done, and I left, getting into my car and turning on the key, a song had began to play called “Friend of the Devil” by the Grateful Dead. I rolled my eyes as changed the station and drove away thinking about how so many think that guy is a “friend”, who our Lord himself called the Gospel of John 8:44  “You belong to your father the devil and you willingly carry out your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning and does not stand in truth, because there is no truth in him. When he tells a lie, he speaks in character, because he is a liar and the father of lies.”. How we often blame our Lord for everything that goes wrong, for the chaos, turmoil and all else that is not gratifying to what we deem is.

Pondering deeper, what a sad song from such a sad soul. I was never a Dead fan, nor cared very much for Jerry Garcia or the entire dead head fan base ideology.  What went through my mind was simply “ick”. Disgust for hearing that song when I was leaving our Lord in prayer. Disgust for the fact a song like that was playing or was ever written.  I came to the stop sign and what immediately caught my heart was a billboard.

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I sat for a few moments in awe at this “sign” and knew in my heart exactly what our Lord was saying to me. I  began to ask for fogginess for all those whom I did not follow, did not like, did not idolize and did not admire. Also, teaching me never to assume the worst of anyone, but continue to hope in our Lord. All of us are lost at one time or another. May it not be, nor ever be for all eternity.

“Forgiving men, taking pity on them, is a greater work than the creation of the world”. – St. Thomas Aquinas

Prayer for the Poor Souls in Purgatory

English

V. Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord.
R. And let the perpetual light shine upon them.

And may the souls of all the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen.

Latine

V. Requiem aeternam dona eis, Domine.
R. Et lux perpetua luceat eis.

Fidelium animae, per misericordiam Dei, requiescant in pace. Amen.

 

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O Sacred Head Surrounded


I am reduced to nothing, the moment this hymn begins. My throat closes. There is a tightness in my chest and the words can not pass my lips. I can never, as hard as I try, sing this hymn, as the tears well up and stream down my cheeks. I can only assume, for now, its the interior contemplation breaking out in a way I could never put into words.

This hymn is just a short part of Salve Mundi Salutare, a poem in honor of our Lords various members on the cross. I have shared this poem in previous posts, divided into seven cantos,  “Ad Pedes”, “Ad Genua”, “Ad Manus”, “Ad Latus”, “Ad Pectus”, “Ad Cor”, “Ad Faciem” (To the Feet, Knees, Hands, Side, Breast, Heart, Face).

Please see the post below, To The Feet, and if you would like to continue, just click the next post.

Salve Mundi Salutare: Ad Pedes

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Eternal Father, turn away Your angry gaze from our guilty people whose face has become unsightly in Your eyes. Look instead upon the Face of Your beloved Son, in Whom You are well pleased. We now offer You this Holy Face, covered with shame and disfigured by bloody bruises, in reparation for the crimes of our age, in order to appease Your anger, justly provoked against us. Because Your Divine Son, our Redeemer, has taken upon His Head all the sins of His members, that they might be spared, we now beg You, Eternal Father, to grant us mercy. Amen.

 

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Who Is The Accuser


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The many, many “news” story’s I see today, written by whomever, saying Catholics must love and accept LGBT, or this group, or that group and so on, has caused me to ask our Lord in prayer, and I pray you ask Him also: Who is my accuser that assumes the Church does not love them?

The Catholic Church has always been open to all, as a Father and Mother loves all their children, always open to welcoming life to the family of faith. The disconnect comes when we assume that Love is acceptance of insubordination or defiance. It is not. Love corrects the defiant or insubordinate child and does not allow the child to be disruptive, for the benefit of the child. Love does have rules. When the rules of Love are broken, it is not Love, but less than Love.

“Many gave false witness against him, but their testimony did not agree.” Mark 14:56

 

 

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Jubilee Year of Fatima: 100 Years


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The picture above, was taken by me at St. John of the Cross Catholic Church, in Lemon grove, CA, on Thursday, September 8, 2011. It was the day of the great Southwest Blackout and the Pilgrim Statue of Our Lady of Fatima was visiting my parish at the time. It was the most beautiful event I had attended.

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The church was lit as we set up for the Pilgrim Statues arrival, and had  a procession of our Lady of Fatima scheduled along with Exposition of our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament all day and praying the Holy Rosary on the hour, every hour, by different ministry’s in our Parish, from the time of its arrival, to the time of its departure, concluding with benediction.

Our Lord

You can see in this photo, at St. John of the Cross Catholic Church, we have a huge stained glass window in the back of the church of all the Archangels. As you can see, it is reflecting on our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament. To see this in person was spectacular!

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At 3;38 PM, the lights went out due to the largest power outage in California history and we began to light the Church by candlelight, as the sun began to set.

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Thanks to a few souls, we had two flashlights provided also, to help others for the Liturgy and to place more light on the statue of our Holy Mother.

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The procession was lovely and the moon became big and bright this night, as it became the light to guide us on our way.

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I will never forget this day. So many beautiful things occurred to bring many souls together under the most complex circumstances, to make this day and evening, one of the more beautiful days of our lives in prayer.

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On this Saturday, May 13, 2017, it marks 100 years since the first Apparition of our Lady to the shepherd children in Fatima Portugal. I will be attending a special meeting with my Carmelite Brothers and Sisters for Holy Mass, a renewal of our Carmelite Promises and listening to a talk given by our former Spiritual Director. Later Saturday Night, my husband and I will be attending “Date Night” at our Parish, in which Married couples come together to reflect on the love they have for one another through the Sacrament of Marriage. I mention this,  for this reason:

Sister Lucia dos Santos, one of the three children who witnessed the Marian apparitions at Fatima, died in 2005. But before her death, she predicted that the final battle between Christ and Satan would be over marriage and the family.

Thank you Our Lady of Fatima, for prayers answered. I pray again, through you Most Beautiful Flower, Our Lady of Fatima, intercede for us still, and for the entire world, for the conversion of sinners, for the intentions of our Holy Father Pope Francis and for all the intentions of the Sacred Heart of your Son, our Lord, Jesus Christ. Amen

Repent, and believe.

Pope Francis has granted a plenary indulgence opportunity for the 100th anniversary of the Fatima apparitions throughout the centennial year, from the 27th of November 2016 till the 26th of November 2017.

Our Lady of Fatima, Pray for us!

Our Father:

Our Father, Who art in heaven
Hallowed be Thy Name;
Thy kingdom come,
Thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us;
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil. Amen.

The Creed:

I believe in God, the Father Almighty, Creator of heaven and earth; and in Jesus Christ, His only Son, our Lord: Who was conceived by the Holy Spirit, born of the Virgin Mary; suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died and was buried. He descended into hell; the third day He rose again from the dead; He ascended into heaven, is seated at the right hand of God the Father Almighty; from thence He shall come to judge the living and the dead. I believe in the Holy Spirit, the Holy Catholic Church, the communion of Saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body, and life everlasting. Amen.

 

Please see the link below

Jubilee Year of Fatima Indulgence

 

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Divine Mercy And The Sacred Heart


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I believe it was 2008, Easter Sunday, morning, I walked into my back yard and began to water the flowers. There is a protestant church directly behind my home and my yard backs to it and overlooks its parking lot. As I sat and began watering, I watched car after car pull into the lot to attend to Sunday service for Easter.

As I sat there, I began to think about how they were not Catholic. What were they doing to actually celebrate Easter? Whats the point of going there?

I sat in my shorts, smoking a cigarette, watering the flowers, or what I had of them, our Lord entered my heart in regards to myself, asking me;  What are YOU doing?

It hurt when I thought about it. It hurt bad and I knew I needed to do something. What was I doing? I had the girls baptized, our oldest in 2006, and our youngest in 2007. But, what was I doing now? My husband was stationed in Yuma at this time and I had not given much thought to spending much of any time on the weekends doing anything but being with him and the girls. He was only home on weekends and I was mom to two small children full time, alone, for the rest of the time.

By the time I went back into the house, it was mid afternoon. Easter was almost over and there was always next year. (As I write this I can’t believe I actually thought that but I did)

The next morning, my husband left for Yuma and it was another week of being mommy and blogging about Military and political things which kept my attention away from what I should have been doing. But this week was different. What are YOU doing kept playing over and over in my heart. By Friday of that week, I was determined to attend Holy Mass on Sunday, which I did, and it was Divine Mercy Sunday.

I had no idea what Divine Mercy Sunday was. There was a giant painting of Jesus. The Priest said something during the Homily about it and I still had no clue what it was. All I knew was Sunday Holy Mass was what was missing, again. You see, back in the late 90’s & early 2000s, before I had moved to California, I began attending Holy Mass again and underwent a truck load of , all I can call now, serious spiritual attacks. Everything that could go wrong in my life and keep me from our Lord, did. I fell back into my old ways, and all those “nasty things”, went away when I put our Lord out of the picture.  But you see, they didn’t go away. They were still there hidden behind illusions of love, peace and tranquility, which was all false without Him.

At the conclusion of Holy Mass, a woman,  got up to speak about how the Ministry of Perpetual Adoration was in need to souls to sit with our Lord. I signed up that day.  Later on as my conversion of heart continued to melt the ice from my heart, that woman became ill, and I was placed to head Perpetual Adoration Mission.

As I left Mass and my conversion blossomed, I never stopped attending Holy Mass, even bringing my two small children with me every Sunday. Weeks later, coming to learn of Divine Mercy Sunday and the meaning behind it. In the years that have since followed, from that day, it rekindled my love which was held so deeply for the Sacred Heart of our Lord, which in turn, kindled a desire to find out more of the Immaculate Heart of Mary.

There are souls today who feel that the Sacred Heart Devotion has been overlooked and somehow pushed to the side for an “easier” thing as Divine Mercy. I can tell you from my point of view, Divine Mercy opened me to love again. But now, to love DEEPLY the Sacred Heart and the Immaculate Heart of Mary. As He should be. There is no difference between the Sacred Heart of our Lord and Divine Mercy. Its the same Heart of our Lord.

Please feel free to search my blog for how many times I speak of the Love of the Sacred Heart of our Lord. Or you can read True Love, my post in which I speak of how I was given a picture of the Sacred Heart of our Lord and fell in love with the image of our Lord and not Him in Word or Body Blood Soul and Divinity, when I was about 8 years old. Keep always in mind, He loves us first.

If you have doubts of the Divine Mercy of our Lord, pray more. Trust Him more. Doubts in His mercy and justice, cause serious internal problems within the soul which lead many to walk away from the faith, as I had many times before.

This Divine Mercy Sunday, I pray souls come to understand more and embrace His Mercy, His Divine Mercy which pulls souls into His most Sacred Heart.

There is something I would like to share which speaks of this problem some have.

Please see: The Sacred Heart and Divine Mercy

Also, from 5 years ago: A Monk Reflects on Divine Mercy and the Sacred Heart of Jesus

Excellent prayer from St. Francis Xavier:

O God, everlasting creator of all things, remember that the souls of unbelievers were made by Thee and formed in Thine own image and likeness. Remember that Jesus, Thy Son, endured a most bitter death for their salvation. Permit not, I beseech Thee, O Lord, that Thy Son should be despised any longer by unbelievers, but do Thou graciously accept the prayers of holy men and of the Church, the Spouse of Thy most holy Son, and be mindful of Thy mercy. Forget their idolatry and unbelief and grant that they too may some day know Him Thou hast sent, the Lord Jesus Christ, who is our Life and Resurrection, by whom we have been saved and delivered, to whom be glory for endless ages.

Amen.

EDIT TO ADD: Bishop Robert Barron’s Homily for 4/30/2017. Its rather remarkable to hear after the fact, what our Lord is calling us to do, and you find out you are back on the right road.

Please see:

THE PATTERN OF LOVE

Like the two disciples walking towards Emmaus, a symbol of worldly power and security, and away from Jerusalem, the center of sacrifice, we need to be stopped in our tracks. Christ appears to them, but they do not recognize him. They do not recognize him because they are walking the wrong way. The recognition of the pattern of Christ’s life does come until the Eucharistic act which presents the pattern of sacrificial love. Then they immediately go back to Jerusalem, the place of suffering love.

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Old Man And The New Man


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Once an old man spread rumors that his neighbor was a thief. As a result, the young man was arrested.
Days later the young man was proven innocent. After being released he sued the old man for wrongly accusing him.
In the court the old man told the Judge:
“They were just comments, didn’t harm anyone.”
The judge told the old man:
“Write all the things you said about him on a piece of paper. Tear it up on the way home and throw away the pieces. Tomorrow, come back to hear the sentence.”
Next day, the judge told the old man:
“Before receiving the sentence, you will have to go out and gather all the pieces of paper that you threw out yesterday.”
The old man said:
“I can’t do that! The wind spread them and I won’t know where to find them.”
The judge then replied:
“The same way, simple comments may destroy the honor of a man to such an extent that one is not able to fix it. If you can’t speak well of someone, rather don’t say anything.”

*”Let’s all be masters of our words rather than being slaves of our words.”*


“Write everything down, on the way home, tear it up and throw away the pieces” <— Its very important to understand, we just don’t cast it (sin) to the wind where it is taken all over and others read it and are influenced by it to do the same. We place it in the trash can when we get home. That “trash can” is the confessional and you know where home is. And when you place it there, leave it there.

When I read this above, which was shared on Facebook by a Catholic Priest,  I can see myself as both the young man and the old man. The “old self” and the “new self”.

And what is a soul to do? Trust in our Lord. Place your faith in our Lord. Hope in our Lord. Believe Him. Love Him.

 

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