Tag Archives: Sin

Our Lady Of Mount Carmel Novena Day 2

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Today is day two of the novena to our Lady of Mount Carmel. In today’s reflection, we find that there are many flowers in the Garden of Carmel.

I am not one to assume my own flower, as I would rather that our Lord or Lady would designate that for me, and so, yesterday I had a soul contact me via direct message on social media, with an obvious scam. This person demanded that I send an email to their contact person, so I could claim my huge prize winnings. When this is done, the scammer obtains your entire contact list and attempts this scam on more souls.

I reported this person, as it was a scam that targets the deaf and hard of hearing. See here: Deceiving the Deaf

I shared their information with others, with a warning about this scam, so others would not be deceived. As I took it to prayer yesterday, I pondered the Venus Fly Trap. The Venus flytrap is a flowering plant best known for its carnivorous eating habits. It seems to get a bad rap as an aggressive little plant, but actually eats all the pests that danger others and protects the rest of the garden. It doesn’t chase after any of its meals but waits patiently for them to come to it. In reflecting on this little plant, I thought about this in regards to the spiritual life. The fly is an obvious symbol of sin and evil. When we repent, sin still comes to us, but it goes no further if we do not act upon it. Rather, we, like the little fly trap, consume it, stop it from going any further, and keep on doing the will of God.

During this Novena to our Lady of Mount Carmel, I pray we all stop the evil that comes to us daily, cloaked in the allurement of worldly pleasures, seeing them for what they are, hearing the call of our Lord and stop them dead in their tracks, giving the glory to our Lord.

For the entire Day Two reflection and prayer, please click HERE

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No More Excuses

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Now!

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Year of Repentance

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“Return to your first Love”

 

Bishop Zubik Announces Year of Repentance

“Year of Repentance” Bishop Zubik will inaugurate the year Sunday, Sept. 23, and will lead a related prayer that afternoon.”

We all have reason to join and repent.

Pure JOY Through Suffering

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The Hideous Wound Of Sexual Abuse

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My heart takes rest in our Lord, and His Word.  I pray for the perseverance of all.

All the abuse, in general, is all the ugliness of a hideous wound that NEEDS to heal. The only way to heal a wound, is to expose it (uncover it completely) to get the proper Medicine in to replace it.

As Catholics, we must not place another bandage over it, or anything which causes us harm, and hope it just goes away. It needs serious care. A wound as this, requires “nulla per os”, but requires strict action taken with fasting, praying, repenting, time in Adoraiton with our Lord, confession and total focus on our Lord. In other words, 24 hours a day, living our faith with Christ our Lord as the Shepherd of the entirety of our lives. Word and deeds.

John 6:68 – Simon Peter answered him, “Master, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.

Repent and believe.

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Gossip Of No Hell

 

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Pope Francis didn’t say it. Admitted 93 year old atheist, Eugenio Scalfari said it.  Does the Vatican need to deny it? In my opinion, obviously no. Does common sense tell you that hell exists? Obviously yes. Enough with the Pope Francis bashing. The fact this story came out during Holy Week, and I seen many Catholics on social media pushing this garbage, tells me that we are desperately in need of personally going deeper in our faith. When we allow the secular news to take away our peace, its a sign we place our faith in the secular news outlets and not our Lord.

Ponder if you will, from today’s Gospel, taken from our Carmelite Lectio Divina:

Matthew 28:11-15: The astuteness or guile of the enemies of the Good News. The opposition itself which Jesus had to face during His life, springs up again now after His Resurrection. The chief priests meet and give money to the guards. They should spread the news that the disciples have robbed the body of Jesus, and this in order to avoid everything which is said about the Resurrection. The chief priests do not accept the Good News of the Resurrection. They prefer to believe that it is an invention on the part of the disciples – men and women – of Jesus.

From the VATICAN CCC

  1. IV.Hell

1033 We cannot be united with God unless we freely choose to love him. But we cannot love God if we sin gravely against him, against our neighbor or against ourselves: “He who does not love remains in death. Anyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him.”610 Our Lord warns us that we shall be separated from him if we fail to meet the seriousneeds of the poor and the little ones who are his brethren.611 To die in mortal sin without repenting and accepting God’s merciful love means remaining separated from him for ever by our own free choice. This state of definitive self-exclusion from communion with God and the blessed is called “hell.”

1034 Jesus often speaks of “Gehenna” of “the unquenchable fire” reserved for those who to the end of their lives refuse to believe and be converted, where both soul and body can be lost.612 Jesus solemnlyproclaims that he “will send his angels, and they will gather . . . all evil doers, and throw them into the furnace of fire,”613 and that he will pronounce the condemnation: “Depart from me, you cursed, into theeternal fire!”614

1035 The teaching of the Church affirms the existence of hell and its eternity. Immediately after death the souls of those who die in a state of mortal sin descend into hell, where they suffer the punishments of hell, “eternal fire.”615 The chief punishment of hell is eternal separation from God, in whom alone man can possess the life and happiness for which he was created and for which he longs.

1036 The affirmations of Sacred Scripture and the teachings of the Church on the subject of hell are a call to the responsibility incumbent upon man to make use of his freedom in view of his eternal destiny. They are at the same time an urgent call to conversion: “Enter by the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the way is easy, that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrowand the way is hard, that leads to life, and those who find it are few.”616

Since we know neither the day nor the hour, we should follow the advice of the Lord and watch constantly so that, when the single course of our earthly life is completed, we may merit to enter with him into the marriage feast and be numbered among the blessed, and not, like the wicked and slothful servants, be ordered to depart into the eternal fire, into the outer darkness where “men will weepand gnash their teeth.”617

1037 God predestines no one to go to hell;618 for this, a willful turning away from God (a mortal sin) is necessary, and persistence in it until the end. In the Eucharistic liturgy and in the daily prayers of her faithful, the Church implores the mercy of God, who does not want “any to perish, but all to come to repentance”:619

Father, accept this offering

from your whole family.

Grant us your peace in this life,

save us from final damnation,

and count us among those you have chosen.620

Definition of gossip

1a dialectal British godparent

c a person who habitually reveals personal or sensational facts about others 

  • the worstgossip in town

2a rumor or report of an intimate nature 

  • spreading gossip about their divorce
b a chatty talk

c the subject matter of gossip 

  •   Their breakup was common gossip.

Please see: The Sin Of Gossip

Idle chatter about others can bring about great harm.

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Old Man And The New Man

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Once an old man spread rumors that his neighbor was a thief. As a result, the young man was arrested.
Days later the young man was proven innocent. After being released he sued the old man for wrongly accusing him.
In the court the old man told the Judge:
“They were just comments, didn’t harm anyone.”
The judge told the old man:
“Write all the things you said about him on a piece of paper. Tear it up on the way home and throw away the pieces. Tomorrow, come back to hear the sentence.”
Next day, the judge told the old man:
“Before receiving the sentence, you will have to go out and gather all the pieces of paper that you threw out yesterday.”
The old man said:
“I can’t do that! The wind spread them and I won’t know where to find them.”
The judge then replied:
“The same way, simple comments may destroy the honor of a man to such an extent that one is not able to fix it. If you can’t speak well of someone, rather don’t say anything.”

*”Let’s all be masters of our words rather than being slaves of our words.”*


“Write everything down, on the way home, tear it up and throw away the pieces” <— Its very important to understand, we just don’t cast it (sin) to the wind where it is taken all over and others read it and are influenced by it to do the same. We place it in the trash can when we get home. That “trash can” is the confessional and you know where home is. And when you place it there, leave it there.

When I read this above, which was shared on Facebook by a Catholic Priest,  I can see myself as both the young man and the old man. The “old self” and the “new self”.

And what is a soul to do? Trust in our Lord. Place your faith in our Lord. Hope in our Lord. Believe Him. Love Him.

 

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Injustice Of Divorced And Remarried Receiving Holy Communion

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Pondering souls being granted full communion after Divorce and remarriage outside of the Church. SEE: Top Vatican Cardinal: Not Even A Pope Can Change Divine Law on Communion

Personal thoughts and ponderings as I have been here. See: Cohabitation And Holy Communion along with Gift Of Marriage and various other posts in this personal journey back to our Lord.

Knowingly granting full communion to any soul who does not admit error, without the process of Annulment, is unjust and an injustice to the souls in error.

The soul in error therefore is robbed of seeking and finding Divine Provence in the deeper meaning she or he has been called to find our Lord in.

The souls granting full communion to the soul, removing “punishment”, being separated from receiving our Lord in Holy Communion, are committing a grave error by becoming a stumbling block, as our Lord once called St. Peter for trying to stand in His way from what He must do, to the soul called to a deeper union with our Lord. I ponder the millstone placed around the neck of one who keeps one of this little children from Him. Far to often we forget that punishment due to our sinfulness is a grace, (purgative) which allows the soul to see a deeper Love of our Lord, and seek that full union. Separation makes the heart grow fonder. We must understand that this separation, no mater how painful in this life, through our own fault, is a temporary separation, in which we are called to a deepness of our Lord, that at any other time in our lives, would never have been found, without the grace of repentance.

Above is a deeper pondering from and earlier FB post I had made from a calling in my heart:

When punishment is removed IE. in regards to not being able to receive our Lord through our own fault (Mortal Sin) of marriage outside of the Church laws of Marriage, we remove the souls conscious of right and wrong, creating lukewarm souls, instead of souls on fire for our Lord to DO in Love for Him, what is right and just, by wanting to FIX what we have done wrong. We take away personal responsibility to encounter our Lord in the very simple act of turning from our fault, and turning to His mercy.

Please Read: The Church at the Service of the Family  – From St. John Paul II

FAMILIARIS CONSORTIO

Take from the above link:

Gradualness and Conversion

9. To the injustice originating from sin-which has profoundly penetrated the structures of today’s world-and often hindering the family’s full realization of itself and of its fundamental rights, we must all set ourselves in opposition through a conversion of mind and heart, following Christ Crucified by denying our own selfishness: such a conversion cannot fail to have a beneficial and renewing influence even on the structures of society.

What is needed is a continuous, permanent conversion which, while requiring an interior detachment from every evil and an adherence to good in its fullness, is brought about concretely in steps which lead us ever forward. Thus a dynamic process develops, one which advances gradually with the progressive integration of the gifts of God and the demands of His definitive and absolute love in the entire personal and social life of man. Therefore an educational growth process is necessary, in order that individual believers, families and peoples, even civilization itself, by beginning from what they have already received of the mystery of Christ, may patiently be led forward, arriving at a richer understanding and a fuller integration of this mystery in their lives.

 

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Sheep Rattle

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I promised my daughters that I would bring them something home from my Retreat this weekend. I purchased two sheep rattles on my way home. Although I knew what I was bringing them was much more than stuffed toys. What they can’t see yet, but I do clearly, is their mom is coming back with a firm guard on the lambs our Lord has given to me to give back to Him. Just as the Good Shepherd lays down His life for His sheep, so I must lay down my life for the lambs our Lord has entrusted me with, to care for until I can no longer. This is the job of a mom. This is the vocation of Motherhood. Yes, I care for all the souls placed in my life, but my top priority is for the two lambs in my own pen. As was my parents job when I was a “lamb”.

The story of my becoming aware of my conversion is one in which took place when my dad lay dying. When we are at a loss as to what we can do, our Lord is ever there to guide us. At that moment, as he was dying, I shook and prayed. Never thinking anything about it until it all became clear. We should never fear death, as we should only have fear of our Lord as we are living.

As I arrived home yesterday afternoon from the beautiful retreat, I handed my daughters their little sheep. A little while later my daughter Violet came to me as said with excitement “Mommy! It rattles!”.  Immediately the words flowed back to her. I began to tell her that she should always, for the rest of her life, remember and never forget that she has received our Lord in the Eucharist. That she was in fact a “sheep”. When ever she gets lost, no matter how far she walks away from our Lord, our Lord can hear her shake from the inside. The second she becomes afraid, she should remember that our Lord always knows where she is because she has Him everywhere she goes and just like that little rattling sheep, He hears her and will lead her back home too. She should never be afraid of the Shepherd and should tell Him everything through the sacrament of Reconciliation. In the Confessional, so she knows for a fact, He healed her when she gets into the tangles or covered in burs of sin, which are poisonous. Then to never get into those tangles again but to stay close to Him. Walking His path.

“Behold, I am sending you like sheep in the midst of wolves; so be shrewd as serpents and simple as doves.”

 

 

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9 Days For Life – Day 9

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For today’s Novena, please CLICK HERE

Life is worth living

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Holy Year Of Mercy

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St. John Paul II pushes open the Holy Door on Dec. 24, 1999.

Glory to God!
Everything you find in this blog, praise and glory be to God.. It is the mercy of God. It is His mercy that brought me back home and I pray the entire world takes advantage of the coming Holy Year of Mercy.

“Do you not know that your body is a temple of the holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been purchased at a price. Therefore, glorify God in your body.”

Repent and believe. St. John Paul II, pray for us. Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, I trust in you. Have mercy on us all.

VATICAN CITY — Saturday evening, in front of the Holy Door in the atrium of St. Peter’s Basilica, Pope Francis’ will give the archpriests of the major basilicas of Rome copies of his “bull of indiction,” or formal proclamation, of the Holy Year of Mercy. An aide will read portions of it at the door before participants process into St. Peter’s for evening prayer.

Please continue reading here for the full story: Proclaiming the Holy Year at the Holy Door

Psalm 30
1 A psalm. A song for the dedication of the Temple Of David

I
2 I praise you, LORD, for you raised me up
and did not let my enemies rejoice over me.
3 O LORD, my God,
I cried out to you for help and you healed me.
4 LORD, you brought my soul up from Sheol;
you let me live, from going down to the pit.

II
5 Sing praise to the LORD, you faithful;
give thanks to his holy memory.
6 For his anger lasts but a moment;
his favor a lifetime.
At dusk weeping comes for the night;
but at dawn there is rejoicing.

III
7 Complacent, I once said,
“I shall never be shaken.”
8 LORD, you showed me favor,
established for me mountains of virtue.
But when you hid your face
I was struck with terror.
9 To you, LORD, I cried out;
with the Lord I pleaded for mercy:
10 “What gain is there from my lifeblood,
from my going down to the grave?
Does dust give you thanks
or declare your faithfulness?
11 Hear, O LORD, have mercy on me;
LORD, be my helper.”

IV
12 You changed my mourning into dancing;
you took off my sackcloth
and clothed me with gladness.
13 So that my glory may praise you
and not be silent.
O LORD, my God,
forever will I give you thanks.

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Its My Fault Too

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Today at Holy Mass, The Feast of St. Peter and St. Paul, I was blessed to hear, one of the greatest Homily’s I have ever heard. I must share it. I had to write this to my Priest.

“Best Homily EVER Father Jacob! Although I don’t place the blame completely on you or any Catholic Priest fully. I take blame also as a parent. It’s good to know All Catholic Priests have “Catholic Parents Backs”, while we ALL carry the cross of RESPONSIBILITY of parenting and are Teaching our Children the Catholic Faith, to love God above all else. God bless our Priests.”

Please listen here: Don’t Forget Your Keys

In all honesty, I have been waiting for someone to say these words, and live by them for many years. Waiting for someone to help me back up the “Teaching” that is essential for my children, that we must place God above all else in our lives, no matter what we may think our goals may be. When we do place God above everything, all that was never meant to be in our lives, all the chaos and insecurity and false ideas, fall like dominoes and we can see the path of Life much clearly.

God bless our Priests and may we all come to understand what is crucial in our lives, living in this Secular Society, but separated from it, through our love of God above our love of all else.

“Seek and ye shall find”

With the grace of God, I found what I have been looking for.

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Light Pollution

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This is what ZERO light from man looks like. The Church of the Good Shepherd on New Zealand’s South Island is surrounded by starlight, thanks in part to night-sky preservation efforts

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This is what light pollution prevents you from seeing: The constellation Orion, imaged at left from dark skies, and at right from within the Provo/Orem, Utah metropolitan area.

In the photo above, I can imagine our souls, dim with sin looking the same way…

“Its tail swept a third of the stars out of the sky and flung them to the earth. The dragon stood in front of the woman who was about to give birth, so that it might devour her child the moment he was born.
” Revelation 12:4 Comes to mind…

A Facebook Friend posted something very interesting this morning on Light Pollution. She said she had never heard of it and I found her comments rather sad. You see, when I was very little, my dad would break out his telescope and we would look at the stars. It was a time that was beautiful. He used to tell me all the time about light pollution. He would tell me of a sky FULL of stars where a telescope was not needed because the beauty was breathtaking as it was.

As cities grew and crime became a greater issue, more man-made lights became needed. All that was needed was one crime and blaming it on darkness (lack of light) rather than actual (darkness of evil). What causes a man to commit crimes? Certainly not the fact that it is dark outside, but rather there is a darkness within.

You see, when man loses sight of God and His creation, he forgets that God is watching him. He forgets that God is God. He begins to make himself a god.

Such is evil in this world in the ways it seeks to trick the soul into believing it needs what it is providing much more than what God has created for it, to see God in His creation, to adore Him and give Him the glory since the beginning. This is where evil separates man from God. When you can no longer see or hear Him, man forgets about his need for Him and life becomes “dark”. Slowly removing the Light of God, and replacing Him with mans own “creation”…

We had a MAJOR power outage in 2011. No power was available from San Diego to AZ. We were celebrating Rosaries for Peace and had a precession of Our Lady of Fatima planned just before the power went out. We continued on without electric. The moon was full and beautiful in the sunset sky as the procession began.

It was SPECTACULAR! Inside the Church everything was candlelit throughout the entire Mass. When I arrived home after, driving through town without any lights anywhere, I was amazed to see how BEAUTIFUL the sky was. How peaceful the night was. People were out and enjoying the evening.

I was able to see things I never dreamt of before. It was the most beautiful night I had ever had in my life. Granted, it was spent with our Lord in one of the most spectacular ways it could have been in this world. I am very happy without “light pollution”. As I am just as happy right now with it.

Revelation 22:5 There will be no more night. They will not need the light of a lamp or the light of the sun, for the Lord God will give them light. And they will reign for ever and ever.

Glory to God….

After understanding my FB Friend had no clue what I was talking about, and telling me good luck with banning the sale of light bulbs, I had to clarafy what I am actually speaking about to her:

The price has already been paid to let the light shine from within. But the world doesn’t want that. It wants to suck the faithful into the “black hole” of its “manufactured light”. All you have to do is “plug in” to what our Lord is telling you. The reason manufactured light is used today is for “security”. LOL Do you see what I am talking about now? Trying to stop the sale of light bulbs would do nothing nor is that even where my thoughts are. My heart knows, man is so infatuated with false security that they do not understand Gods security. We live in an imperfect world, I can not change that. I do however understand it.

“We can find such reasons in the order and beauty of creation itself, which speaks of its Creator; in the longing for the infinite present in the human heart, which finds satisfaction in God alone; and in faith, which illumines and transforms our lives through our daily union with the Lord. By the witness of our living faith, may we lead others to know and love the God who reveals himself in Christ.” – Pope Benedict XVI

Pope Francis: anchor your heart in hope, not false security

Edit to add; 2/11/14

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The flower-like image of this star-forming region in Earth’s southern skies was imaged using a 64-megapixel Mosaic imaging camera on the National Science Foundation’s Victor M. Blanco telescope at Cerro Tololo Inter-American Observatory.
Cometary globules are isolated, relatively small clouds of gas and dust within the Milky Way. This example, called CG4, is about 1,300 light years from Earth. Its head is some 1.5 light-years in diameter, and its tail is about eight light-years long. The dusty cloud contains enough material to make several Sun-sized stars. CG4 is located in the constellation of Puppis.

The head of the nebula is opaque, but glows because it is illuminated by light from nearby hot stars. Their energy is gradually destroying the dusty head of the globule, sweeping away the tiny particles which scatter the starlight. This particular globule shows a faint red glow from electrically charged hydrogen, and it seems about to devour an edge-on spiral galaxy (ESO 257-19) in the upper left. In reality, this galaxy is more than a hundred million light-years further away, far beyond CG4. The image from the Blanco 4-meter telescope was taken in four filters, three of which are for blue, green and near-infrared light. The fourth is designed to isolate a specific color of red, known as hydrogen-alpha, which is produced by warm hydrogen gas.

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Repent Repent Repent – UPDATE

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UPDATE 4/11/2019 at the bottom of this page: Praise, glory and honor to our Lord, Jesus Christ. 

I shared my story with two Catholic Priests recently. I don’t like talking about this but I know there is someone who can be helped by this. No. I am not crazy. No matter how much the world refuses to believe that God is our Creator. I believe a Saint of our Lord said it best: “My job is to inform, not to convince.” Saint Bernadette Soubirous. I see this all day in my life. Jesus Christ is God. He is present in the Eucharist. He has called me to repent and return to Him. I shared this story in the past with for other Catholic Priests over the past 5 years. I don’t know why this is, all I know is where it has lead me to. Back home to the Catholic Church. Repent. Return to your first love.

What I have written with the help of the Holy Spirit. This is etched on my memory and our Lord has made it very difficult for me to forget any of the details. I did add a few details to this as I wanted to make it a little clearer for understanding.

Thank you So much Fathers for just listening and reading this. I don’t expect anything but the glory and honor of my entire conversion and all the events of my life, to be given to God as He knows everything. He allows everything because we have free will to choose to do His will and I full accept, no matter what may come to me.

In 1998, I had an experience that changed my entire life. I have to give you some background as I know it’s important. I have confessed every sin and I know I have been forgiven, as I now go to confession at least every 10 days. I am also in formation with the Third Order of Carmel, and pray every second I am conscious. When the event in 1998 occurred, I was a covered in mortal sins. I had broken every commandment. Every one of them including murder through abortion. I had for many years not been practicing our Catholic Faith and had not gone to confession for over 25 plus years. I still believed in God, but was in a state of despair and had been since a VERY young age. I’m not making excuses for my sinful behavior nor trying to justify it. It’s just something that needs to be revealed as this horrifically sinful person no longer exists because our Lord has truly changed my heart. I am still a sinner a repentant one.

I had fallen in love with a picture of the Sacred Heart of Jesus at about the age of 8 or 9 years old. I was reminded recently by the Holy Spirit, (in the past 5 years) about how at a younger age, I would sit in my parents basement at the earliest age of about 4 or 5 and look through the old cabinet they had of books. My favorite for a long time was a book of nothing but Gregorian Chant from the Liturgy of the Hours. It was very old and all in Latin. I didn’t know what it was or how to read it. I would just sit and stare at the pages and ask God to give me the ability to read it. I used to think of how hard it was to be “big” to have to learn all this stuff. Later on, I found an old handbook from the Legion of Mary. I was about 6 and thought it was something bad, because it was all about Mary and not our Lord. I didn’t understand it and when I asked my mom, she rolled her eyes and told me just leave that alone. I thought it was something really bad against God and thought my family was doing bad things. In my rebellion at the age of 9, I used to go back to it and read it sometimes out loud in spite of what my mom told me. There is so much more to this part, but I have to keep this on track and will go back to this point.
Back to the age of 8 with the picture of the Sacred Heart of our Lord. I would hide in my room and play records for Him and sing to Him as I didn’t have many friends. Things started to happen. I would hear things in my heart and this voice would tell me things that then they would happen in real life. It scared me. I was very young and the voice scared me very much. It would tell me things that my family was going to do and they would happen. At that time, one night, I had a dream that a bunch of clouds came and picked me up. I had no power to do anything but they brought me to the way I would walk on the way to school, about a block away from St. Maria Goretti. It left me terrified as I didn’t know what this was. Today when I pray the Rosary, I am often reminded of this dream while praying the mystery of the Ascension of our Lord. and I had asked my father if it was okay for me to call our Lord my boyfriend and to think of Him in this way. My dad told me it was a sin to do so. (I have LONG ago forgiven my dad for this as I know he truly didn’t understand that our Lord was more than likely calling me to religious life and neither did I) I felt that our Lord hated me at this time, because of what I had done. Especially when things started to happen. It broke my heart but I got rid of the picture and stopped talking to him. I thought I was dammed to hell and stated to think the devil then must be my friend since God hated me for what I had done. I spent some of my early life (pre teen and teen years) casting spells, telling the devil I would sell my soul for _____________ (fill in the blank) and turning to evil thinking it was “cool”. It was anything but. I was miserable. I was angry all the time. I lived for most of my life thinking something was seriously wrong with me. I was depressed and a VERY sick soul. I grew out of this “evil” things stage and continued on into what I thought was life. I had NO self esteem. I hated my life. I thought everyone on earth was better than me because I believed I was “so hated by God.” I was very promiscuous thinking having sex with anyone was love and that they would love me which is sad because at the age of 11, I believed without a doubt that when a man and woman had relations, it meant they were married for life. I asked one of my older sisters about it and she laughed at me. Little to say, I grew up with no true teaching of the Catholic Faith except for having to go to church every Sunday. Confession? After graduating from Catholic grade school, (1981) when I had to go, I never went again until 2001. My mom did take my little brother and me to see Pope John Paul II in Chicago, Grant Park in 1979 and to be honest, it was amazing! I was blessed by him from his Pope Mobile, as he was driving past and it left me in a state of peace I can never describe in words. As soon as I was brought back into contact with my brother & mom that peace quickly left but I had never forgot that day. I also have to mention that my mom’s uncle was a Catholic Priest in Slovakia, who survived the Nazis and then the Communist Occupation. He spent a few days in prison for just being a Catholic Priest but the Communists released him and he continued to celebrate Holy Mass daily, underground. I was awe struck by him for most of my life. He was a role model for me who I loved dearly and I had only met him 3 times and we never spoke the same language. I just heard stories about him and he was kept tight in my heart and still is today. He passed away in 1981. I was never able to express my love for our Lord in my home growing up. I was to afraid because my brothers & sisters made fun of me all the time. So I just stopped talking and became angry and full of hate back at them. When I was about 4 years old, my Great Uncle, the Catholic Priest came in to celebrate my Grandparents Wedding Anniversary. I met him for the first time and ran to him as he was standing next to my Grandfather and told him I wanted to be a princess. I wanted him to take me home to Slovakia to I could learn how to be a princess and live with the Priests and Nuns because they all live in Castles. My grandfather told him what I had said and my Great Uncle told my Parents to please keep an eye on me that there was something very big here. I fell through the cracks anyway. I had such a deep love for God then. I would talk to Him all the time.
Getting the day in May of 98. After living a very worldly life, I had been going through some very rough times. I had lost my dad to Cancer in 96 and my mother had been diagnosed with the same cancer a year before my father’s death and was facing death herself. I had been living with a man who left his wife to be with me, who of course, was abusing me in the same way he had abused her. I forgive him and EVEYONE I have to mention here as it’s not about anything I hold against anyone as I don’t hold anything against anyone, ever since this day in 1998. I forgive everyone including myself. That is not why I am speaking of this and I am in no way seeing ANY amount of sympathy. It’s all related to my conversion back to the Catholic Church and to Our Lord.

In 1998, two years after I lost my dad to cancer, a series of events took place in which I had great remorse for the way I had been living. I had written a letter to the wife of the man I had been living with, apologizing to her for my part in the destruction of their marriage and it was ripping y heart out about thinking about how much I hurt her. The man I was with did NOT like that I had done this. The night my father died, September 23, 1996, I had said to him, although he was unconscious, to put in the good word for me to God that I was going to need some help. As soon as my dad passed, INSTANTLY I said our loud, I need to change my life. And it started the change.

I can’t tell you if what happened to me was a dream, or actually took place in May of 1998. All the events of this day are etched on my soul and I am reminded VIVIDLE every second of this conversation that took place this day. I don’t know “WHO” this was all I know is where it lead me to since this took place and that is back to the Church and to our Lord in such a way I can never live without Him and Her again!

I was at work and my boss called me into his office. He told me he needed to talk to me about something very serious and that someone had been saying very bad things about me. I thought he was going to fire me. I thought I did something wrong and I couldn’t imagine what It would have been. I sat down and he said before he started he wanted to know if I wanted someone in with me to hear about what he had to say. I said yes. Call in David. David worked for my boss Al in a another smaller landscaping company he had. I thought Dave was handsome but we were just co-workers. I just couldn’t think of anyone else to say. He called him in and David didn’t say a word. My boss began to tell me that someone was saying very nasty things about me and saying that I had been doing some very nasty things. I asked him who this was and he said it doesn’t matter I just want to know if this is true what I am hearing about you. I said I want to see who is saying such things and he and David opened his office door and pointed to someone sitting in a chair in his waiting room. I looked at the man as he raised his head to me. My boss asked me if I knew him. I was COMPLETELY chilled in fear. I began to shake in utter terror and my body shook in fear. A gripping fear of total horror and every bone in my body, every part of me rattled. I ran and grabbed David and hid behind him. I couldn’t escape what I had seen. David commanded me at that second, “Don’t be afraid”. The second my ears heard this the terror left me and I was no longer afraid. I stood there grabbing on to him and I wouldn’t let go. I immediately stood up straight and at attention. My boss repeated to me, do you know him? I said NO! I have never seen him before in my life. My boss Al then told David, throw him out of here and get him out of my sight. David left and my boss began to tell me that “Someone” had a bet and I was part of it. He told me he wanted to get in on it and with that I asked if David should be here? He said okay and called him back in. With that, Al, my boss said he would be right back and left me alone with David. David began to ask me questions. The questions he asked me were very personal and he knew the answers before I would give them. All the answers came from my heart. He asked me about my sins. He knew them. All of them since I was old enough to remember. He didn’t care about them. He only cared about the answer I was giving. I knew in my heart, this was not my boss, nor David my co-worker I was with. I didn’t know who they were but I just listened to my heart when answering them. There was this DEEP love I felt for David at this time as I was telling him everything in my soul that he had already knew. I broke down for a moment in the middle of the conversation and resumed again with him. He also said he knew these guys that had a bet. He wanted to be in on this bet also and wanted me to help settle it. I kept asking about this bet but he wouldn’t tell me. He said the winner would be richer than anyone could ever imagine. He wanted to tip the scales and make it easy and wanted me to help him and that he knew this guy who was giving him all the answers. I don’t know how or why, but I brought God into the conversation. I said that would be cheating what he was asking me and that God wouldn’t like that especially if so much money was involved and we had the answers before anyone else did. He smiled and asked me if I liked my life. I said no. I hated it. I was so unhappy. He asked me what would make me happy. I said I just want to go to heaven. I just want to go to heaven. He then asked me what my idea of heaven was. I said I don’t know. He said again, what do you think it would be like in heaven and why do you think it would make you happy. I said I don’t know. God knows. I want what God wants for me. He knows better than I do. We talked more about my idea of heaven which was far from being anything heaven would be today, knowing my faith now. David began to tell me things. He said he had a good friend who wanted his wife back. He said someone got in the way of their relationship and she left him because of a misunderstanding. I said I would do everything to help him if I could. As I had told him about how I had been a part of an adulterous relationship and I had sent a letter of apology to the woman. He told me there was two roads to take to get there. A high road with is very hard and a low road with is easier but not much more easier as it was still very difficult to navigate both of them. I said I would take the high road. He continued asking me questions about everything from my family, their children, the country, the world, priests, religious persons, Saints and so much more. He told me things about what was going to take place. He asked me how I felt about gays, gay marriage, and everything our society is now going through. I answered his question without any idea of what I was saying as I thought this was just a random conversation and I began to say things without even thinking. He said well that does it. You can’t help me. I said but wait! I didn’t answer with my heart. We went over everything again and I answered everything with sincerity. It was like we were talking for HOURS. When He told me about the two roads, the high road was me becoming a religious. The low road was me getting married and having children and I only see that now as I type this. He then told me someone loved me very much. I told him that love was very important because I didn’t know what it was or how to love. He said he knew someone who loved me very much. I asked him who it was. He said someone from my past. I couldn’t imagine who it was. He said it was an old boyfriend I had. He said he wanted me back. I had no clue who he could be talking about. By this time we had talked about so much nothing made any sense and I was in such a state of exhaustion. I asked him if he was the guy and he said NO. But I hope my guy wins. I asked him who his guy was and he said your friend’s son. I said my friend? He said yes. I was your friend David, his son. I said who is his son? What is his name? He looked at me and said one day I would know what he was saying. I understand this now as “Son of David”. He asked me who was in heaven and I said God. He said no, who is in heaven? I said Jesus? He started asking me about the picture I had of this guy when I was young and I sand I had a lot of pictures and I had no clue what he was talking about. He looked at me and said, you truly don’t remember! I said no. I don’t. His mouth opened wide for a bit and he said to me, someone is going to come to you and remind you. He then said to me he will know you as Mary. I became frightened and yelled at him because I thought he was referring to our Holy Mother and wanted me to do something against her. I said you can’t DO that! We already have a Mary in Heaven. No one can be her. No one! I was so angry. I said to him Okay! If all these things you are telling me DON’T happen then what? You still want to get together? He didn’t like that. He said to me this better work or we will all be tossed into the abyss. I asked him then the good one? Or the Bad one. He didn’t remember telling me about the “Good Abyss” . I only know the Good Abyss now as the one St. Faustina spoke about in Divine Mercy. Who I never knew about truly until 2007 or so.

There was much more said between the two of us and even when Al , my boss who had been absent returned. I’m ended this here for now and going to tell you that EVERYTHING David and AL has told me from that day has taken place, for the most part. He knew who I was going to get married to. The names of my children. How people were going to die and when. World events. Presidents elected. Popes elected. The name of EVERY church and the priests I would encounter. He actually called some of them friends of his. We went over the ENTIRE Legion of Mary Handbook together, ADDING: (I didn’t remember this until AFTER I had joined the Legion of Mary in 2011 and I was reminded of the prayers we talked about and how I used to pray in my parents basement) and I had no clue what it was when he was telling me the prayers. He just told me one day I would be reminded. We went through every mystery of the rosary and I couldn’t understand why the Annunciation was called the Annunciation and not the Visitation. He told me about a prayer that would remind me of this day every time I prayed it and it was the Angelus. EVERY time I pray it, I understand EXACTLY what it means and what Mama Mary must have gone through as every second of my life is a constant reminder of this day in may of 1998. ADDED: (As I am sure Mama Mary knew the exact same things that were revealed to her after the fact and held them in her heart) When the conversation was over, Al told me that if I came back to him to ask him about the conversation he was going to deny it ever took place. ADDED: ( I didn’t know if this was a dream or had actually taken place. I did confront my boss at a later day and he had no clue what I was talking about. He didn’t remember any meeting like this) When David was present, Al was gone. When David spoke with me, Al was gone. They were only together for that one instance to ask me if I knew who that horrible soul was. When I had finished with David, and I was back in Al’s office, I sat in a chair and was so tired. He said awe, look at you. Your starving. Your exhausted. You need help. I was so tired. It was as if I had been running and running. I could barely speak anymore. He began to tell me he cared for me. He said to me, You better do all these things you have been asked to do and I said to him why do you care? He said I’m your father I care about you. I became enraged! I jumped out of the chair and said to him, in his face, you are NOT my father. I asked him then are you Ernest my father? Because that is my dad and you know he died and it’s been very hard on me. He said no. I said with just as much anger, are you God? He said no. I said then you’re not my father! He then said to me, I care about you like a father. There is so much more but I’m not sure if it will matter. The outcome is the same.

I don’t know what will happen. I can’t predict the future. All I know is everything that was told to me, is taking place every second and I am reminded every second that our Lord is with us. Every conversation I have has been told to me that it would take place. Everything I write, I was told to and told that I would. The house I live in. The family I have now. All had been told would be. It keeps me in a state of repentance and how I know this is not hell, is that there is great joy and I receive consolations from Abba Father that no one can take away. I have grown to not look for them, but rather understand everything at this point is a consolation from Him and all I want is Him, although His conciliations are wonderful, I want Him. When I pray there is great joy. He allows me to see visions. I seen the face of our Lord in the Eucharist and then myself when I was about 4 years old. . When I am at Mass, when I am in prayer and seeing things manifest that bring me closer to our Lord. Not my interpretation of Him, but Him. In His word. When I was little I fell in love with His picture. With who I wanted Him to be. Today, I have fallen in love with Him through His Word. In the Eucharist and in Who He Is. In His sacraments. All of this taking place after the fact 99.9% of the time of the events. In His Holy Church. In His Priests. In every soul on earth, I can see Him even when He is being denied by the very souls I can see His actions in.

Two weeks after this conversation in June of 1998, everything that they had said to me, started to happen. I thought I was losing my mind in the beginning as when this all started to take place, I tried to tell people who were NOT religious but very worldly and my entire family believed I was crazy. I told them things in a way that at the time I didn’t have the gift of understanding yet. I casted my pearls’ before swine. And the world made sure I was labeled as crazy. With the grace of God, I have overcome it all. I have a love so deep for every soul on earth. Friends, family, enemies, strangers. Makes no difference. I love them. I forgive them for they know not what they do, as I too had no idea of what I was doing. How much pain I had inflicted on our Lord. I have a new outlook and it truly is our Lord.
All glory and honor to God.
PAX
Peg Demetris

All I know now is that I love our Lord above all else. I love my neighbor as myself. I believe, I pray, I hope and I don’t try to worry about the events that I see as I can not change anything. I simply accept our Lord Jesus Christ as my savior and hope to spend eternity with Him. I pray this helps the most frightened souls pull closer to our Lord and His mercy.

QUESTIONS that were asked of me:

PRIEST #1 But Peg, who was the old man?

The old man? If your asking me Father who the old Boyfriend was, I know without a doubt, it truly is the Sacred Heart of our Lord. Although I had fallen in love with His picture, I longed to know about our Lord. At that time in my life, I knew “of Him” being Jesus Christ, but I didn’t know Him being our Lord. Today I do.

EDIT TO ADD: The “Old Man” is Zachariah! This is my “slip” I LOVE our LORD! St. John the Baptist, pray for us!

Priest #2 And who was David?

Father – I still don’t know who “David” was. I still don’t know who “Al” was. It was as if they both were speaking to me in parables. EVERYTHING was symbolic. Everything had a meaning beyond my understanding, but I knew how to respond. I can only assume our Lord was speaking through me to them, when I finally started to speak through my heart. of what they were saying and being in the state I was in, I had no clue what it was all about. I was still living a worldly life and most of what they both had said to me, I see happening around me all the time. Its as if the both of them are at my side, walking me all the way home. At times I sometimes feel like I may have them in my grasp and I am dragging them back home. Al had said something to me at that time about how I was going to be given a watch. I was going to be given blocks and they were his. I was going to be given a drink of water. This “guy” was going to build a house for me. I said I didn’t want anything but to go to heaven. He looked at me deeply and said you better keep these things or at least the watch. The water I know is a reference to The Woman at the Well. The watch? “Keep Watch”. The blocks? Last week at my Formation Meeting with the Third Order of Carmel, I was given paper work on the Structure of the Carmelite Rule. My formation director made copies of everything and placed what she needed to hand out where everyone would be seated. It was random where we sat. She spoke about the block being the Foundation, the four walls, and that was all we should have at that point. As I looked at my paperwork, I had the Foundation Blocks, The four walls and the Roof. I mentioned it to her and she had no idea how I could have gotten it all as she didn’t think she had that copy. She asked me to please share all that I had with them later. Carmelite Spirituality is based on the Rule of St. Albert. I never knew what any of this was back then in 98. When I first started to read the Rule of St. Albert, I was in awe. I had been living this rule for many years already and I didn’t even know what I was doing. The House? Do I even need to go there? 2 Corinthians 5:1 Do I dare say it was him? (EDIT TO ADD: I truly do not know who EITHER of them were 100%.)

Something else he (Al) said was I was he (this Guy) was going to send me to school and I was going to be tested. A bunch of people were going to pray for me that I would pass. I don’t want to assume here but I truly hope instead. This was a reference to St. Peter and the conversation with our Lord about Satan wanting to sift him as wheat. But our Lord prayed for him. One of the last things he said to me was I needed to return to my father. He already knew I was coming and when I get there he was going to put a ring on my finger. “The Prodigal Son”.

I HOPE: I know who “David” is and was! My guardian Angel! “Beware lest ye scandalize any of these little ones, for their angels in heaven see the face of My Father.” Glory to God! (EDIT TO AD: but I do not know)

I may be wrong about both of them and who they were. I don’t know. All I know is where this has lead me to and the daily suffering that I have united to our Lords. One day, I hope to know but I understand it wont matter one bit if I am able to spend eternity with our Lord. This is how my conversion of heat truly began and is ongoing. Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us. Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me a sinner. Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on us all.

I love you.

St. Michael, St. Raphael, and St. Gabriel: PRAY FOR US, Protect us, heal us, In the most HOLY NAME of Jesus Christ I pray. Amen

Psalms, chapter 91

1 You who dwell in the shelter of the Most High,*

who abide in the shade of the Almighty,*

2 Say to the LORD, “My refuge and fortress,

my God in whom I trust.”a

3 He will rescue you from the fowler’s snare,

from the destroying plague,

4 He will shelter you with his pinions,

and under his wings you may take refuge;b

his faithfulness is a protecting shield.

5 You shall not fear the terror of the night

nor the arrow that flies by day,c

6 Nor the pestilence that roams in darkness,

nor the plague that ravages at noon.d

7 Though a thousand fall at your side,

ten thousand at your right hand,

near you it shall not come.

8 You need simply watch;

the punishment of the wicked you will see.e

9 Because you have the LORD for your refuge

and have made the Most High your stronghold,

10 No evil shall befall you,

no affliction come near your tent.f

11* For he commands his angels with regard to you,g

to guard you wherever you go.h

12 With their hands they shall support you,

lest you strike your foot against a stone.i

13 You can tread upon the asp and the viper,

trample the lion and the dragon.j

II

14 Because he clings to me I will deliver him;

because he knows my name I will set him on high.k

15 He will call upon me and I will answer;l

I will be with him in distress;m

I will deliver him and give him honor.

16 With length of days I will satisfy him,

and fill him with my saving power.

EDIT TO ADD: 4/11/2019

As I attended our Parish Mission and Penance Service last night, our Lord revealed this to me.

Our Lord was there, and with me. He revealed it to me, at the moment the Mission Priest was speaking to us about a Team of Landscapers. You have a property, overgrown with weeds, trees not producing fruit, and your house looks like hell broke lose. All of a sudden, a truck pulls up, a bunch of guys jump out and in less than 30 minutes, its transformed into paradise.

It was during this moment I turned to my daughter, as I was overcome with the moment of our Lords Resurrection, and the revelation that St. Mary Magdalene realized she was not speaking to the Gardener, but to our Lord. 

I turned to my daughter, smiled and said \Rabbouni, The second the words left my lips, my eyes widened as they focused on the Altar & The Tabernacle. Everything about that moment 20 plus years ago, became clear.  Peace

 

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Zapping Sin

buglight

We are called to be a light in the dark. There are many creep sinful things in the dark that come to us also, to bug us, to tempt us. Rather then fall into the temptation sin is offering, we must kill it with prayer, like bugs attracted to the light in a dark place, we must always be on guard against these sinful “bugs”. We must zap the sin that comes to us always, out of our life and the lives of those who need our Lords help and protection. As we are effected by the sins of those around us, we are also influencing souls through the grace our Lord gives to us to live holy lives, by our example. We need to ensure the sin dies and falls to the earth, allowing the good to rise and thrive. Ever seen how green grass grows under an area that a bug light is hanging over? That death of sinful nature gives bountiful life.
Think about it…

From this mornings prayers, Divine Office:

God our Savior,
hear our morning prayer:
help us to follow the light
and live the truth.
In you we have been born again
as sons and daughters of light:
may we be your witnesses before all the world.
We ask this through our Lord Jesus Christ, your Son,
who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit,
one God, for ever and ever.
– Amen.

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Revolutionary

Fire of God

I had to share..

Vespers – Part of the Homily NOT preached Today (Aug 17) at the Vigil Mass: “Jesus has indeed set the earth on fire with His truth, and there will be no peace in this world until all falsehood finally bows to the truth”.

Someone says, “During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act”. We are living in such times. The world today stands in a great danger of being crushed by the secular aggression that is pouring out from all sides. A prophet is always a revolutionary. A prophet’s primary duty is to speak forth God’s message to God’s people; to tell people the truth they would not like to hear. A prophet to admonishes, reproves, denounces sin, calls to repentance, and brings consolation and pardon. Human society in every age bears testimony to the fact that to offer the light of truth to any morally depraved society is to invite serious repercussions. Prophet Jeremiah called the people of Judah to repentance. So the people hated him because of this, and plotted to kill him. Through baptism, we share in Christ’s own prophetic office. We too are invited to speak the word of God to our increasingly morally depraved world. As prophets, we are also called to speak in prayer to God the way Jesus does, and the main prayer of Jesus to His Father is the offering of His flesh and blood. We too are called to present our bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, in spiritual worship. We are called to be completely crucified to the world, live to God alone, enjoying an intimate familiarity with the Lord. This is total commitment. As St Paul rightly counsels in the second reading, we must persevere in living out our faith, while always keeping Jesus before our eyes, and having in mind the joys of eternal life that await us in heaven.

One Egyptian Christian said two days ago, following the burning of several Churches in his country: “You can burn our Churches but you cannot burn our faith”. This is the spirit of martyrdom to which we are called as prophets in Christ. Jesus has indeed set the earth on fire with His truth, and there will be no peace in this world until all falsehood finally bows to the truth.
Fr-Nwora Okeke
Johns Creek, Georgia

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Repentant Suffering

Mother Angelica

I couldn’t have said it better as I have been living this for many years. Glory to God….

REPENTANT SUFFERING by Mother Angelica ~

The sinner who suddenly realizes God’s love for him and then looks at his rejection of that love, feels a loss similar to the death of a loved one. A deep void is created in the soul and a loneliness akin to the agony of death. The soul feels wrapped in an icy grip of fear. This is not, however, the fear of punishment, but the realization of its ingratitude towards so good and loving a God. Sorrow begins to heal the wounds made by sin and God Himself comforts the soul with the healing balm of His Mercy and Compassion.

If the sin were great, the soul, humbled by self-knowledge, remembers its weakness so as never to offend God again, but forever rejoices in His Mercy. This combination of mourning and comfort keeps the soul in a state of dependence and trust in God, who sought and found His lost sheep.

Man seeks to make up for his sins in some positive way. A thief gives away something to the poor; a man with a temper seeks to be gentle. King David realized that accomplishing some good work was pleasing to God, but he knew something it would be well for us to remember. He understood that the very suffering of his repentance was pleasing to God.

Amen

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Turning Tables

flipping

“And said unto them, It is written, My house shall be called the house of prayer; but you have made it a den of thieves”

Last Friday, a woman made her way to our Adoration chapel with two family members. She was in a condition of great fear. Frozen in fear. She did not want to leave the tabernacle. She clung to it with a crucifix in one hand and begged me to place holy water on her. My heart cried for her. You see I knew her pain as I had been in a similar condition many years ago. It’s a state of deep repentance. As I was describing this poor woman to another person, I was quickly reminded this week of our Lord in the temple, flipping over the money changers tables. The body is the Temple. When the “world” sees a soul in this state, they call it mental illness but never even think of the sickness of the soul. Confession! Anointing of the Sick! THEN take them to a mental care facility, arming them with a book of prayers for the duration. When the soul is sick, everything in the body is sick. There is no pill you can take or that can be created by man to cure a sick soul. Only our Lord is the Doctor of your soul. If you allow Him to fix your soul, your entire life blossoms into great beauty!

You see, our Lord did this to me. My soul has always belonged to Him as do all of ours baptized in the faith. I had made His “Temple” a den of thieves by living a sinful life and falling away from His teachings. He came in to His “Temple” and removed everything He did not place in there, everything that did not belong there. When this happened, I too was in a state of dread and fear, frozen in fear because it is Him, allowing the soul to be “Sifted as Wheat”. Every sin I had ever committed was being tossed into the dumpster as I stood by it repenting as it was thrown in, feeling like a “hoarder” watching everything I had, my sinful posessions and passions, which was in fact worthless garbage, being tossed away. There was nothing else I could do but repent. I was guilty of everything. A disconnect comes when we do not understand this is for the greater good of our soul and we think that Christ want’s us to just stand there and not move as this is taking place. Or that He hates us and is punishing us. Dead wrong! It is very incorrect to think this way. God never wishes you to be frozen in fear. He needs you to trust in Him and continue moving closer to Him with the understanding He is everywhere you are to complete His will. If we remain frozen in fear, afraid to move, we miss out the beauty of his consolations through all life, that He is trying to replace all the death that He removed from your soul that you had built up separated from Him.

No table of junk is left unturned. But know this. Everything that is removed is replaced with great joy and love that explodes into a satisfaction of knowing He is God and He is with you but it takes lots of prayer to work through this along with using all the grace and gifts He gives to you. Leaning and trusting completely on Him as the Builder, turning the tables on living the sinful life and bringing you into “communion” with Him, in a life of prayer.

Our recompence is in Christ’s hands and when we submit, we are then crucified with Him.

Edit to add on 3/30/2013

Hosea 5:15b-16:2

Thus says the Lord:
In their affliction, they shall look for me:
“Come let us return to the Lord,
For it is he who has rent, but he will heal us;
he has struck us, but he will bind our wounds.
He will revive us after two days;
on the third day he will raise us up,
to live in his presence.”

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Night Vision

Night_vision_scope_with_boar_in_cross-hairs

I often sit in front of the television with the family. Although I am with them physically, I am often pondering our Lord. Last night this commercial came on and it reminded me so much of how temptation comes to the faithful in Christ. Although we do not fall for the evil ones temptations, we are still tempted. After time with our Lord, it becomes this easy to detect and deflect.

“Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour” 1 Peter 5:8

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Sin

I often see sin and getting stuck in bad behavior as a sea, loaded with fish hooks. So numerous are the hooks, line and bait that you can barely see the water your swimming through because the hooks that seek to grab you are so thick with every type of bait, its impossible to swim through them all without at least one catching you from time to time. The bait is always the same. Sex, lust, greed, envy, drugs, money, vanity and so on. They appeal to us at times when we feel we are unloved, unforgivable, and sometimes when our resistance is completely down. Its when we haven’t seen “Holiness” in our hearts yet, that they are completely invisible and we don’t even realize we have become human pin cushions, loaded with them, that they pose the greatest threat.

We always hear about the Apostles tossing out their nets and catching fish. We never hear about them using a fishing pole with bait. With the exception of Matthew 17:27 – I can only ponder this having to do with the supremacy of our Lord and how He owns each and every one of us, therefore is in no need for bait to catch us on a single hook. Rather he brings us all to the surface together, some He sees in need of doctoring and removing all the hooks, applying medicine to our wounds and then sometimes tossing us back into the water through His mercy, to heal and grow larger in the faith. He is always there for us. When we do grow in the faith we then see the hooks that made us sick in the first place, and avoid them as best we can. He gave us the sacrament of Reconciliation, to make it through the sea, doing His will, bringing forth more life, to give the glory to Him and not continuing to be hooked on the things that made us sick, in which we die and sink to the depths where we are forgotten. A dead fish goes with the flow. A live fish swims against the current, to promote life in Christ.

My hope is that I am not a dead fish, but seriously wounded and I may be used to catch a much larger fish for my Lord Jesus Christ. I trust in His mercy and forgiveness.

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Trinity Sunday

When no one cares, They do
When no one loves, They do
When no one hears, They do
When no one sees, They do
When no one knows, They do

My God, My Lord, Most Holy Ghost
Three in one eternally

When no one cares, I do
When no one loves, I do
When no one hears, I do
When no one sees, I do
When no one knows, I do
When no one believes, I do

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Ooze And Ahas

What a truly amazing morning it has been and its only 5:30 AM. I had spent my hour in Adoration of our Blessed Sacrament in prayer, without any of the truly amazing revelations and great thoughts our Lord usually fills my soul with, but was blessed rather, on my ride home.

I often view my parish as a fortress. A place of refuge away from this world. Home base if you will. The “Bone Marrow” of my soul where “White Blood Cells” are produced. A place of safety out of the storm of every day life to regenerate. There in my parish, on the grounds, in the church, at Mass,this world we live in, is somehow with us, but separate. The outside world is its own place and when I need complete comfort and security in my time of need, the barriers of God’s protection can be found like this invisible force field of protection there. Granted, that same barrier is found protecting me when I am in the world, but its Him who keeps me separated from the outside forces of this world we live in, and the much to prevalent misery of sin that is flourishing in it. Sin that no one can see because of spiritual blindness. Today I have to call it the “Ooze”. The infection.

I’m going to have to go a few years back and say that “Ooze” of sin is just as it was in the movie Ghostbusters as the river of slime under the streets of New York. The difference in real life is, that no one is paying attention to it and the more we refuse to see exactly what it looks like, the uglier and more infectious it becomes. Also, its not under the streets, but rather covering everything in this world. Let me go back to the ride home from Adoration. Just down the street from my sanctuary, my “Home Base” of St. John Of The Cross, is an strip bar. I pass by this place many times a day on my way about and always pray for the conversion of the souls inside this particular place. Usually with a sigh as I know how the morals & values of todays society have gone so far astray that a lot of people believe this is a legitimate way to support their familys or how so many women believe that by doing this, it somehow makes them beautiful, which couldn’t be further from the truth. From a short distance away in my car I noticed a car leaving the parking lot of this place. In a flash of light, I did not see a car leaving the lot, but a blob of ooze, leaving its home base, heading out into the street to infect countless other souls. A single axis of sin much in the way of a single cell of Streptococcus goes into the world to make as many people as it can find sick. One soul who is easily bent or twisted out of the shape God formed them into, can do the same damage. Thus the unseen “Ooze”. The strange thing about this vision was, that ooze of sin has taken over most of this world and no one living outside of having faith in Christ, can see it.

On to the Aha. The ahas to me, is not only being able to identify this ooze, but doing everything possible to avoid it in my life and kill it. There is a deep pain in the soul during a conversion. That pain is the sin a soul carries. The sting of sin. In the state of repentance, after confession, when a soul sins, even a minor sin, you feel that burning immediately after the sin has been committed. When the soul is in a state of mortal sin, and I am speaking of grave sin before a conversion, when so many sins are on the soul who has not been to confession in years, that immediate burning pain is not present. I can only assume this is what it means to be “Dead in Christ”. When you can no longer feel the pain it causes not only you, but our Lord as the soul in repentance is one with the Lord.

How to avoid the “Ooze” and live for the Ahas? Every day our body’s come in contact with foul things in this world that cause illness. There is a multi-million dollar industry of antibacterial agents on the market to keep us free from getting sick. To avoid disease we wash our hands frequently using soap and water. So to the soul must be cleansed using the soap and water of confession and contrition. One MUST keep their soul just as clean all the time. Through prayer and receiving the sacraments the soul can ward off 95% of the sin we face every second in this land of “Ooze.”

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Disfigured By Sin

Imagine if every soul on earth could see what they looked like full of sin. No make up in this world could cover up the scars. Only Christ can through a conversion of heart to Him.

Last nights reading, one of my favorites….
Disfigured by sin…

Isaiah 52:13-53:12

See, my servant will prosper,
he shall be lifted up, exalted, rise to great heights.
As the crowds were appalled on seeing him
– so disfigured did he look
that he seemed no longer human –
so will the crowds be astonished at him,
and kings stand speechless before him;
for they shall see something never told
and witness something never heard before:
‘Who could believe what we have heard,
and to whom has the power of the Lord been revealed?’

Like a sapling he grew up in front of us,
like a root in arid ground.
Without beauty, without majesty we saw him,
no looks to attract our eyes;
a thing despised and rejected by men,
a man of sorrows and familiar with suffering,
a man to make people screen their faces;
he was despised and we took no account of him.

And yet ours were the sufferings he bore,
ours the sorrows he carried.
But we, we thought of him as someone punished,
struck by God, and brought low.
Yet he was pierced through for our faults,
crushed for our sins.
On him lies a punishment that brings us peace,
and through his wounds we are healed.

We had all gone astray like sheep,
each taking his own way,
and the Lord burdened him
with the sins of all of us.
Harshly dealt with, he bore it humbly,
he never opened his mouth,
like a lamb that is led to the slaughter-house,
like a sheep that is dumb before its shearers
never opening its mouth.

By force and by law he was taken;
would anyone plead his cause?
Yes, he was torn away from the land of the living;
for our faults struck down in death.
They gave him a grave with the wicked,
a tomb with the rich,
though he had done no wrong
and there had been no perjury in his mouth.

The Lord has been pleased to crush him with suffering.
If he offers his life in atonement,
he shall see his heirs, he shall have a long life
and through him what the Lord wishes will be done.

His soul’s anguish over
he shall see the light and be content.
By his sufferings shall my servant justify many,
taking their faults on himself.

Hence I will grant whole hordes for his tribute,
he shall divide the spoil with the mighty,
for surrendering himself to death
and letting himself be taken for a sinner,
while he was bearing the faults of many
and praying all the time for sinners.

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The Stench Of Sin

I had the pleasure this morning, of going out to breakfast with my husband. I wasn’t feeling well right off the bat and the restaurant we went to, was missing employees and the tables were quite full. We ordered our food, and as the waitress walked away with our order to the kitchen, the hostess was sitting the table behind us. A few moments after the table behind us was seated, I began to be overpowered with the smell of VERY strong perfume. So much so, it was making me ill.

Our food came and we began to eat. From the first bite I placed in my mouth of my breakfast, all I could taste was the overpowering perfume. I would take a drink of ice tea and it would taste like the perfume. It became so overpowering, my mood began to change. I was not in a good mood the longer I sat at this table, unable to eat, drink or let alone think of anything other then that overpowering obnoxious perfume. All I wanted to do was leave and quickly. I had to get away from the stench. I looked at my husband and apologized, I told him I’m sorry, but have them pack up my breakfast, I’ll eat it at home, I have to get out of here and into fresh air.

I left the restaurant and everything behind. When I took in the first gulp of fresh air, the obnoxious perfume was still in my sinuses for a few moments, then it was gone. I did not think about the woman wearing it, but rather how that must be what the Holy Spirit has to deal with, in regards to our sins. “Sin grieves the Holy Spirit and causes a breach in our relationship with God”

I pondered how many times He tried to come to me when I called out, but He couldn’t because the stench of my sins were keeping Him at a distance. Its much easier to hear Him, when He is at your side, rather then trying to hear Him yelling at your from behind a pain of glass, that separates the sinful from the forgiven. Granted, no one is sinless but our Lord Jesus Christ, but it makes His job much easier to speak to us, when we are cleansed through the sacrament of confession… Go take a shower 🙂

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Realizing the Seriousness of Sin

I couldn’t agree more!

Realizing the Seriousness of Sin – Archbishop Timothy Dolan
Snip from the full story:

“We need to be shocked by our sins, as the Holy Father says, and also be shocked that Jesus keeps us in His hand. The Sacrament of Penance accomplishes this in a supreme way. We prepare for confession by examining our consciences – looking hard, as it were, at the wretchedness in our heart. Then we receive absolution of those sins, and through the ministry of the Church are invited once again to be shocked at the mercy of God!”

Link to : The Altar and the Confessional:
A Pastoral Letter on the Sacrament of Penance + Timothy M. Dolan

“It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.”

Realizing the Seriousness of Sin

If the Holy Eucharist and the Sacrament of Penance are at the very heart of the Christian life, why is the latter neglected? It is a lamentable characteristic of the Church’s life in our time. Almost thirty years ago, soon to be Blessed Pope John Paul II convoked a Synod of Bishops addressed to the very topic of Reconciliation and Penance in the Mission of the Church. The penetrating analysis of the Holy Father’s subsequent apostolic exhortation retains its force today. He wrote in 1984 that, in an age when God is pushed to the margins, the awareness of our need for forgiveness will diminish, for “the loss of the sense of sin is thus a form or consequence of the denial of God: not only in the form of atheism but also in the form of secularism.”[4]

We do not only observe a diminishing sense of sin in the secular culture around us. We find it in the Church herself. Perhaps it is an over-reaction to an earlier period, as the late Holy Father suggests:

“Some are inclined to replace exaggerated attitudes of the past with other exaggerations: From seeing sin everywhere they pass to not recognizing it anywhere; from too much emphasis on the fear of eternal punishment they pass to preaching a love of God that excludes any punishment deserved by sin; from severity in trying to correct erroneous consciences they pass to a kind of respect for conscience which excludes the duty of telling the truth.”[5]

Fair enough. Not everything was perfect decades ago when most Catholics routinely went to confession – perhaps too routinely. But whatever problems existed in the 1950s are now a half-century in the past, and subsequent generations have grown up without any knowledge of whatever excesses may have existed. They have indeed grown up without what belongs to them as part of the patrimony as Catholics – the liberating, joyful experience of God’s mercy in the sacrament of penance.

We receive the gift of mercy to the extent that we realize our need for it. We desire forgiveness only if we acknowledge the seriousness of sin. The recently-beatified Cardinal John Henry Newman expressed the magnitude of sin with his characteristic literary force:

“The Catholic Church holds it better for the sun and moon to drop from heaven, for the earth to fail, and for all the many millions on it to die of starvation in extremest agony, as far as temporal affliction goes, than that one soul, I will not say, should be lost, but should commit one single venial sin, should tell one wilful untruth, or should steal one poor farthing without excuse.”[6]

Do we think today that Blessed John Henry Newman is right? How many of us would argue that opposite – that a little sin here and there is no big deal? How many, both inside and outside of the Church, argue that a little sin here and there is worth this technological advance, or that public policy goal, or is an acceptable means to some desired end? As someone jokingly observed to me, “It’s the Lamb of God, not our culture, that’s supposed to take away the sins of the world!”

We just heard this past Sunday, the First Sunday of Lent, the account of the temptations of the Lord Jesus. Satan offers to Jesus all the kingdoms of the world if He would just bow down in worship. A little “devil worship” and Jesus would have the whole world! Wouldn’t that be more efficient than God’s own plan – the passion, death, resurrection, ascension, Pentecost, and two thousand years of evangelization? But no sin is worth even all the kingdoms of the world.

Blessed Cardinal Newman is only one in a tradition of saints who have spoken with great ferocity about the horror we should have for sin – including our own beloved Saint Patrick, who emphasized the essential role of penance in his conversion of Ireland.

We can speak so boldly about the horror of sin because the good news is that the Lord Jesus did not just die for sin in general, but for my sins, and yours. So our horror at sin should be accompanied by a serene confidence that forgiveness is ours should we ask for it with true contrition. Together with Saint Paul we can give thanks that where sin increases, grace abounds all the more (cf. Romans 5:20)! We’re not “hung-up” on guilt and sin; no, we’re obsessed with God’s mercy.

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Not Able To Receive Communion

I originally wrote this on Sunday, October 17, 2010 in a note on my Facebook Account.. I felt the need to place it here for so many discussions regarding Catholic political leaders, subscribing to non-Catholic beliefs, like support for abortion, living in sin, gay marriage, etc.

“Flesh that touches any unclean thing shall not be eaten; it shall be burned with fire. All who are clean may eat flesh, but the person who eats of the flesh of the sacrifice of the Lord’s peace offerings while an uncleanness is on him, that person shall be cut off from his people.” Leviticus 7:19-20

If you want to know how sacred and how precious the gift of Holy Communion is that Our Lord Jesus Christ gave to us, ask someone who can not receive Him at mass, due to their own fault through their own sins.

To be out of communion with the Church, is to be strapped to the whipping post. Each time at mass, to see others go up and be able to receive communion, is a strike by the whip of their own sins. Unlike Our Lord who was free from sin and did not deserve his scourging, it is a scourging brought upon a soul by ones own faults. It is not a permanent scourging but a way of cleansing the soul, the waiting period, the 40 days in the desert, until one is invited to the wedding feast, through penance and obedience to God’s laws.

It is not a jealous state to see others receive Him, but out of love and devotion and “OBEDIENCE” for Him and to Him, knowing that the temple is not yet clean to receive Him. To see other receive Him, although a strike against the one who can not, also fills the one who can not with a deeper sense of hope and love. It is a reminder, that it was our own fault, that caused this state, and to avoid it again at all cost.

If your not in a state of grace, meaning repenting after confessing your mortal sins, please do not receive Him. You can still pray for Him to enter your heart, mind body and soul, SPIRITUALLY through prayer.

My Jesus, I believe that you are present in the most Blessed Sacrament. I love You above all things and I desire to receive You into my soul. Since I cannot now receive You sacramentally, come at least spiritually into my heart. I embrace You as if You have already come, and unite myself wholly to You. Never permit me to be separated from You. Amen.

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Lent

I often ponder “Repentance”. In my heart, I can see its effects, not as a way I hope to be, but as a way I should be right now.

Rend Your Heart Joel 2:12-13

12 “Even now,” declares the LORD,
“return to me with all your heart,
with fasting and weeping and mourning.”
13 Rend your heart
and not your garments.
Return to the LORD your God,
for he is gracious and compassionate,
slow to anger and abounding in love,
and he relents from sending calamity.

Great advice on how important it is, not to give up more, but to do more from Rev. James Martin, S.J. Catholic priest and author, The Jesuit Guide to (Almost) Everything.

Bothering to Love: One Priest’s Modest Proposal for Lent

Here are some great quotes I felt needed to be shared today:

“Are you capable of risking your life for someone? Do it for Christ.”~Venerable Pope John Paul II

“My child, I have need of victims, and strong victims, who by their sufferings, tribulations, and difficulties, make amends for sinners and for their ingratitude.” Saint Gemma Galgani, letters

“Love wants to suffer for the Beloved… Love wants to expiate the sins that have so deeply penetrated mankind. Love wants to make up for the lack of love among those who sin. Love wants to relieve the debt of suffering that sinners owe to God. Love wants to give God what sinners are depriving Him of by their sins.” Servant of God Fr. John Hardon

Whoever wishes to be my follower must deny his very self, take up his cross each day, and follow in my steps. Luke 9:23

To change and to change for the better are two different things. – German proverb

Go and learn what the Scriptures mean when they say, `Instead of offering sacrifices to me, I want you to be merciful to others.’ I didn’t come to invite good people to be my followers. I came to invite sinners. – Matthew 9:13

Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and shun evil. – Proverbs 3:7

God’s kindness leads you toward repentance.-Romans 2:4

Confession is the first step to repentance. English Proverb

If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man’s life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility. – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Ah! if you only knew the peace there is in an accepted sorrow. – Jeanne de la Motte-Guyton

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True Love – UPDATE

Originally blogged on 3/5/2011

My devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus began at a very young age, and I didn’t even know it. As a matter of fact, I forgot all about it until the Holy Spirit reminded me about it last fall. It was something I had blocked in my memory because of fear. Fear I had been committing a grave sin at a very young age. By falling in love with Him.

Shortly after my first Holy Communion, I received a picture of the Sacred Heart Of Jesus. I honestly do not remember where the photo came from but I think my great uncle, who was a priest, gave it to me, with a rosary and a marble statue with a metal plaque bearing the image of the Last Supper. He had also celebrated the mass for my communion, during my grandparents fiftieth wedding anniversary. No matter how I received it, I fell in love with His face and kept it for some time. No matter what I was doing during the day, hanging out with my friends in front of the house, or doing stuff around the house, I would go into my bedroom and gaze into His eyes, believing if only in my child sized brain, He was my “Boyfriend”. Like more teens & girls do today, with celebrity’s photos. Then walk back to my friends or what ever and pretend to be what “They” wanted me to be. I wasn’t exactly a “Good Kid”. Most everything in my youth, I repent for now. I call it the added weight to my “Cross” I carry back to our Lord. Not the sins, but the pain I know that I caused Him. Keep in mind, I had only fallen in love with His face, not knowing Him through His word and loving Him for what “I THOUGHT” rather than for what I now know Him to be.

One day, as I was looking into His eyes, when I escaped from the world and I could just see His face, I became overcome by guilt and thought, He is God Peg.. Who are you to call Him a “boyfriend”. So I asked someone. An adult, who told me no. I knew in my heart He was with me. I felt him throughout my entire body. I could hear Him saying in my heart “You are far to young, one day I will come to you”. My stupidity and pride blocked these words leading me on a path that not many return from. I got rid of the picture of the Sacred Heart of our Lord that I had fallen in love with, believing I was not good enough, with much angst and started to become, what the world wanted me to be. I was an angry child after that. Nothing could make me happy. I remember giving the picture to my mother and telling her to keep it, thinking He couldn’t love me. I ran away from Him, like the naked man in the garden, the night before His execution, disobedient to everything, heading into the world, without my “Sheet”. Afraid to stay when He needed me to learn, and grow up in my faith. My love for Him, was not perfect yet. I did not love Him fully.I’m not making excuses, there is no excuse. Only my repenting.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.” 1 Corinthians 13:4

I was impatient, I was mean to others, I envied anything and anyone better than me, I boasted and lied to make myself look better and I allowed my pride to get the better of my faith in Him. Worst of all, I did these things, knowing He was still with me. When I did these dreadful things, I could hear Him telling me NO until one day, I could only hear myself, becoming deaf to Our Lord. Thus, moving forward to committing the ugliest mortal sins, that only He can scrub clean from my soul, through my sorrow and repenting. Repenting does not mean to just say your sorry, it means to change your entire way you are living, and live through Him and not just lip service.

Being on the path back to Him, I have found, true love and see that love growing stronger and stronger. An unbreakable Love. Love for everything He is. Love for His word, His forgiveness and His church. Through His church, I can touch, taste, hear and see Him. As that love began to build, slowly I was able to see Him in total strangers. It has been a very slow process, but one in which I am so grateful. It was only this past year, that I discovered again, the photo of the Sacred Heart of Jesus, in which I loved as a child and now love with every fiber of my being, fully and maturely, not based on what He “Looks Like”, but how He is.

Edit to add: July 1, 2014

So much has taken place since this post, since the day I walked away from our Lord at that young age to now in how He has done so much to get me back home.. Yesterday, all I could think of was our Lord and how all I wanted to do was attend Holy Mass. I got home from work, and was listening to music, pondering… The time for Mass was getting closer and a song started to play. One I had not heard in many years and never truly listed to the lyrics. I did yesterday. My heart burst when I understood the lyrics and that particular time in my life I had walked away from Him, because I did not know how to love. Bringing me back to yesterday, and how He not only taught me how to Love Him, but to understand He will never leave me.. Keep in mind, you have to read my entire blog to understand how long it has taken to get back home…

I ran all the way “Home”, and the door was open, waiting for me..
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This is the song:

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