As I ponder today’s gospel reading, and all the ways the evil one tried to tempt our Lord, so brazen as to offer our Lord everything He already has. Everything, in all creation, belongs to our Lord. This is how empty the so called promises are.
Imagine the evil one as a door to door salesman, coming to your home, knocking on your door, forcing himself in and trying to sell you everything within your home that you already own. Imagine him pointing to the photos of your family & children, or placing his arms around them, and telling you, if you follow him, you can have them too. This is the insolence of evil. That same evil so full of himself, to approach our Lord and offer Him all that He had already created. What the evil one didn’t take into account, was our Lord’s mission to regain from the evil ones hands, what he thought he had stripped away from Him, was already done.
Like a hamster on a treadmill, we chase after all these empty promises as if we just go around one more time, we will be filled with them all, when that big break comes! The big break comes, when we are no longer alive and we see the life we lead was full of emptiness and it can no longer be filled with hope, love and faith in our Lord, complete with eternal joy.
I also remember, that our Lord, had us first, through the sacrament of Baptism when we rejected Satan and all his empty promises. Lent is the opportune time to turn back to Him, inviting Him back into our “homes”, to rid them of that door to door snake oil salesman.
Kudos to My Catholic Faith Ministrys for the above photo
I promised my daughters that I would bring them something home from my Retreat this weekend. I purchased two sheep rattles on my way home. Although I knew what I was bringing them was much more than stuffed toys. What they can’t see yet, but I do clearly, is their mom is coming back with a firm guard on the lambs our Lord has given to me to give back to Him. Just as the Good Shepherd lays down His life for His sheep, so I must lay down my life for the lambs our Lord has entrusted me with, to care for until I can no longer. This is the job of a mom. This is the vocation of Motherhood. Yes, I care for all the souls placed in my life, but my top priority is for the two lambs in my own pen. As was my parents job when I was a “lamb”.
The story of my becoming aware of my conversion is one in which took place when my dad lay dying. When we are at a loss as to what we can do, our Lord is ever there to guide us. At that moment, as he was dying, I shook and prayed. Never thinking anything about it until it all became clear. We should never fear death, as we should only have fear of our Lord as we are living.
As I arrived home yesterday afternoon from the beautiful retreat, I handed my daughters their little sheep. A little while later my daughter Violet came to me as said with excitement “Mommy! It rattles!”. Immediately the words flowed back to her. I began to tell her that she should always, for the rest of her life, remember and never forget that she has received our Lord in the Eucharist. That she was in fact a “sheep”. When ever she gets lost, no matter how far she walks away from our Lord, our Lord can hear her shake from the inside. The second she becomes afraid, she should remember that our Lord always knows where she is because she has Him everywhere she goes and just like that little rattling sheep, He hears her and will lead her back home too. She should never be afraid of the Shepherd and should tell Him everything through the sacrament of Reconciliation. In the Confessional, so she knows for a fact, He healed her when she gets into the tangles or covered in burs of sin, which are poisonous. Then to never get into those tangles again but to stay close to Him. Walking His path.
“Behold, I am sending you like sheep in the midst of wolves; so be shrewd as serpents and simple as doves.”
For longer than I can remember, I have come to accept the evil one has taken control of my dreams. Hear me out. But he can only set the stage. He can not control the content, nor the direction. I only know this because I have not been able to stop dreaming about someone in my past. This person is NEVER in my thoughts, words, desires nor is his name ever on my lips. I could care less about this particular person or where he is or doing. I forgave him and prayed for his conversion. He was someone who I loved very much and was hurt by immensely but I had forgiven him and moved on.
I KNOW the evil one is doing this because of the state of my soul at the time I was with this person. The evil one keeps trying to bring this person back into my thoughts and actions, by trying to make me do things that in my stupidity while with this person I would have done without even thinking, and I find it rather funny because the devil is showing his cards and he lost. I forgave this man for doing what he had done to me. I released him. Its obvious, the devil hasn’t gotten the memo. I had also repented deeply for being that person and our Lord is showing me, who He intended me to be. No more to chase after the things and people that used to hold me back from who He, our Lord, needed me to be. Who He created me to be. I love our Lord.
Every time I dream about this person, it’s always in his home where he can control the situation. Its his turf and I am unwelcome. It’s always the same. The house is falling down and held together by garbage that he treasured over me. He is always very plastic in his actions to me and is always waiting for someone other than me to come over and my being there is just another inconvenience. The only reason I am there ever in my dream is a mystery. Last night was different. He told me, you can stay here with me, I missed you and my response back to him, but I don’t love you that way. I don’t want to be with you.I never want to be with you.
Prayers please, that these dreams stop already. I haven’t lost any sleep over them, because our Lord is protecting me. I do love this person as if I didn’t, I would have never forgiven him nor would I pray for him and his family. But I do not want to dream about him anymore. He is NOT my dream boy and that ship sailed a long time ago.
I know I am battling Satan. I may not ever be able to defeat Satan.. but I, through Christ have defeated my sins and death. That is enough… Game over “It was you who saved us, Lord: we will praise your name without ceasing.”
Glory to God.