“When Jesus heard what had happened, he withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place. Hearing of this, the crowds followed him on foot from the towns.” Matthew Ch.14:13
In all of my searching, I would love to say with my heart, I am lonely, but I can’t with a straight face. I carry to much hope with it, and know if our Lord wants to make known what I am experiencing, He will in His time. Everywhere the soul goes in this world, be it alone, or in the presence of others, our Lord has been there, and is there still in the holy Spirit. Loneliness is something only our Lord has truly felt. When we sinners are under attack of this empty feeling, our Lord is present and one only needs to call on Him to understand this as fact. By calling on Him in this state, loneliness becomes mist that dissipates as quickly as it comes on. The more we look to others to help us overcome it, the more lonely we become as other sinners can never truly understand where your soul is at its present time. When we turn to our Lord in this crisis, He comforts us and makes it known to us to look to other activities and not to dwell on our own feelings but to disregard them and bring light and peace to others instead, who can not yet understand its self pity and not Him turning away from us.
“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” Psalm 23:4
Throughout our Lords life here and even in His death, He was alone with the Holy Trinity. So many times He preached to His apostles and to thousands and yet, not one soul could comprehend exactly what He was saying in its fullness until after His death and resurrection. I believe the only soul present who could comprehend this during His life, was John the Baptist. The Loneliness our Lord felt at hearing of his death, had to be so heavy on His soul. The only one on earth, in exile with our Lord, had been taken out and the connection via the spirit, was gone until our Lords death, when He was able to release him from the same bonds of death.
I ponder a lot of my time on His loneliness. On so many not able to understand Him. He was surrounded but alone. No one could comfort Him as He knew the extent of His mission here and only the strength of Abba Father, could carry Him through. The cries from souls in the future, enslaved in sin and misery, reaching out to Him, he could hear, but others around Him, couldn’t grasp the magnitude of His mission.
The loneliness we feel here, can never be the same as His. Although we have some understanding of His, ours should always be joined with His, so we focus only on His and ours becomes the nothing it truly is. The loneliness I can speak of now, is not true loneliness but rather a separation from the things I used to hold dear, and the realization of the spiritual things in this life, that carry a soul through to eternity. When our Lord allows me to see them for what they are, its no longer loneliness, but His mercy and grace I can see. True Peace!