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Weight

“I have great sorrow and unceasing anguish in my heart. For I could wish that I myself were accursed and cut off from Christ for the sake of my brothers, my kinsmen according to the flesh.” Romans 9:3

When I see my family members, my friends, new and old, when I look into the face of anyone, I beg God to give me the grace to tell them what He wants me to say. Sometimes He does, and sometimes, I just look at them with so much anguish in my heart, I don’t know what to say. Living the faith can be excruciatingly painful at times. Especially when you see people you love, those you know and those you do not, living in such a way you know is wrong. When you continually search your own heart first, you grasp a better understanding as to why they do what they do, because you yourself have done these things, before you knew God. Its a love for neighbor over self, but not above the love you have for God.

At every turn lately, its seems this love is unwanted by those I share it with. Its as if they are to busy with the world to want anything God is offering. The only joy I find anymore, is the joy given to me by God. I have never asked anyone to believe in me, but rather to believe in God. The cross is a heavy one, often dragging on the ground, tilling the ground behind as I walk. I don’t know why our Lord shares this with me.

God knows and I will share it to the end, even in times when they don’t want it.

This must be the valley of tears I heard so much about…

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‘Woman, Where Are They?’

I can not tell you how beautiful today’s Mass this morning has been for me. My words can never express the pure BEAUTY of the LOVE our Lord has for the soul. Today at mass, I could see our Lord, The Master Carpenter with the hammer in one of his firm hands and His chisel in His other, strike at the block of wood that is my soul, knocking off the sin or the weight that should not be there, forming me into who He is creating me to be.The sin splintering into fragments, not to be used for anything but dust to the floor, to be swept away.

How long I have carried this extra weight that should not be there. Added only by my accuser, the evil one. And where is he? Running to the hills at the sight of Our Lord Jesus Christ who has overcome him. Through my repentance, I can see now my Lord asks me also, ‘Woman, Where Are They? Go and do not sin any more.’

Today’s gospel reading: John 8:1-11 Christ and the adulterous woman

When God sheds light on the sinners conscious, the sinner repents. Fully! Or should I say, is given the GRACE to repent by God. This is mercy. When that light is shed, the accuser, or evil one, also see it and try to steal that light by adding darkness to it and TRY to seduce the soul into thinking it is not God’s mercy but His accusations and JUSTICE. Although God is Just, it is His MERCY He is offering first.

When our LORD wrote with His finger in the dust, “And he gave unto Moses, when he had made an end of communing with him upon mount Sinai, two tables of testimony, tables of stone, written with the finger of God.” Our LORD wrote the law in the sand leaving the sins to the wind to blow away…

Our Lord here, was also giving the accusers the time to throw themselves at His feet and beg for mercy, because they had seen with their own “Conscious” the sins they also had committed. Rather then do so, they walked away, carrying the weight of their sins with them.

Where are the accusers of all our sins after we confess them? Constantly bringing them up in the conscience to NOT commit them again, is the Holy Spirit, so we keep an eye on the path to our Lord. Constantly bringing them up to TEMPT us, is the accusers. The ones who are guilty themselves who do not repent.

In my personal reflection on this scripture, I look around and can see no one accusing me anymore, but rather who was accusing me, and can finally stand up, and walk closer to Him again in repentance.

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